"shapped" poems
Different shades of light that have passed before my eyes.
Casting shadow and obscuring things and covering up the lies.
How to see the good in things when light keeps them concealed.
To hope that light might shine and falsehood and fake be revealed.
How very hard it has become to see the light as good.
So many years younger was I, when to see it so I could.
I thought that I had lost the light and darkness had prevailed.
The simple truth is it was by light and shadow that I was assailed.
It has been the light that has often broached through my defense.
Open to love, light shone in and seemed to make some sense.
My eyes were in awe of light and my heart overcome with joy.
Only to find that light is used in lies and deceits own employ.
I no longer can trust the light or give it even some small chance.
No more hurt to my heart from light disguised as loves romance.
I cant escape a world where light by all is worshiped for it's glow.
So I'll live a life that is empty in this light I have come to know.
Jun 17, 2019
Jun 17, 2019 at 7:00 PM UTC
Radishes all there are radishes
Remembering...
Up rooting from the decaying earth
Dirt fluttering like snowflakes to the ground
As picked rows of radishes becoming piles
Smile...Remembering the feeling of satisifcation
Hard-work and ***** hands
Remembering... heart-shaped radishes
Piles of heart- shaped radish
Dripping of Mother's earth
Remembering... All, all the madness
Consumed by madness
Pick by pick- row by row all the heart-shapped radishes
Remembering, Smiling -desiring
All the hurt melting- slowly melting
Unseen- becoming one with earth
Transforming into rows and rows of heart-shaped radishes
Healing parts of all the madness, wholeness
Remembering... and smiling... ***** hands and radishes
Feb 26, 2018
Feb 26, 2018 at 11:40 PM UTC
I carry many things. All of them serve a specific purpose and are equally important.
I carry some things to take life...
A rifle, a pistol, grenades, and a knife.
I carry some things to save life...
A bullet resistant vest, a 9 line, and a medical kit.
And I carry some things to guide me when I'm lost...
A glow star and a heart shapped rock.
The glow star for when my path is dark and I've lost all light. It will always illuminate my path and guide me back.
The heart shapped rock etched with "Joy." To remind me I'm loved and when I'm scared, to remember you are my rock.
These things are my tools. But most importantly, these things are my way to fulfill my promise to you.
To always come home to you and hold you in my arms.
Mar 13, 2015
Mar 13, 2015 at 8:12 PM UTC
laying here, grass hugging me
the smell of dirt in my nose
as I glance up at the stars
big ,bright , beating burning hearts
peacefully it began to rain
I did not move, I couldnt
the starts kept me vexed
each tear shapped drop
reflexs back my stars, falling around me
the dirt shifts to mud
the grass hugs me closer, not letting me go
I stare as the star fade back into hiding
till another day, life floats on
Dec 13, 2012
Dec 13, 2012 at 8:09 AM UTC
Oh sweet perfection, you will always be just out of reach. From my grasp, from my sight, and from my mind. And though this thought begins to settle in my mind, the simple knowing keeps me forever at the mercy of my dwindling hope. So maybe one more night of stringless commitments or drunken stupors may help to mask the relentless pain that stabs at my oversized heart. One that has been shapped by your ever lack of presence in my life. Molded by the hope that my once ignorant mind could actually hold you in hand and in spirit. But like my hope, my ignorance has vanished from my childish mind and i now see not only the error in my ways but the politics that i will forever battle in the hopes to find the next best thing to perfection.
Dec 24, 2012
Dec 24, 2012 at 11:06 PM UTC
Sometimes I know you don’t know me
You don’t respect me
You accept me like blank stares and awkward silences in dinning rooms
Where I trust you to be to support me
I fall on the unforgiving dirt road of denial
I finally get myself now
Where on the map I am
You my compass
I understand now
You will always lead me away
From blue sky’s to grey
I know now where all my insecurities came to be
Where they grew their roots thick and deep around my soul
The map I read makes it all to clear to see
Oct 23, 2018
Oct 23, 2018 at 12:37 AM UTC
I feel things so deeply
Sometimes it's like I'm screaming
But in some strange language
That no one else knows.
I have nothing more to offer
But who I am.
And daily I am reminded
That it will never be enough.
I get more lonely every day.
Everyone around me gets quieter
And the voices in my head
are only growing louder
Reminding me that I will lose everyone.
That I have never been enough
And will always be too much.
That I am... ultimately, unlovable.
No one can hear me anymore.
As I sink beneath the sea of tears
And the darkness feels so
welcoming...
The more time that passes...
The more life I seem to waste...
The more it hurts...
The less I want to live.
I wish I was braver.
I wish my path had shapped me
And made me stronger.
Instead it's left me lost, alone, and broken.
And I just don't want to feel things anymore
Feb 16, 2019
Feb 16, 2019 at 11:51 PM UTC