MEMORIES OF SAND
I gave up sweeping that year
Like a penance
As sand permeated
Everything in my condo
Clung to my scalp and feet
Blew in with the fog and landed
In my tub, between my sheets, the sink, the carpet
Gritted between my teeth in the early hours
When i would reach for her still
Before the memory would detonate around me that she didn't come.
I would follow you anywhere.
Morphed into
I can't.
I hate those dagger give-up words.
Unlike the sand
I reviled in coaxing the beach closer still
And sand blurred the boundaries of my life
Inside.  Outside.
Past.  Present.
Old.  New.
I could pull the blanket of crashing waves around me in hypnotizing hues
Breathe in the turquoise or gray or navy blue
Of the mecurial moods of the sea.
Each morning ritual of coffee and perching 8 foot tall on the sea wall studying the swells and tides
I could palpate the energy of my spirit rising around the waves
Curling and mixing as
Aqua-purple-red dragonflies hovered at my veranda hibiscus that murmers truths
I do no want to hear.
And in all that aloneness settled a great quiet still emptiness.
Because I couldn't cry I'd go diving in the persistent waves of salt and kelp.
The cold violated my eardrums and for a moment I'd go spinning-disoriented and weightless-suspended
Surrender without air as the Pacific held me buyouant
Only surfacing to breathe like a Baptism.  I was ok being alone.
And sometimes I wasn't.
As the sand exfoliated my old self I'd grasp hold of the new wonders of phosphorescent tide under a harvest moon
And the fading memory of her would rise like a helium balloon I held down for 2 hrs and 4 weeks at Surfers Point in Ventura
Then let her go into the abyss of acceptance
Like granting permission to the invading sand
Gathering like whispers
In disappearing corners of her absence
And leaned into the redefinition of myself:
Barefoot.  Sandy.  Expectant.
The memory of sand.

respond*
find these bones
immerse them in saline lymph, tidal bay
grow sinew, venous pathways
overflow
hear turtle dolphin whale
entrain common pulsing
palpate boundaries  
reshape
broadcast one secret vast owning smile

I've always itched
For perfect mahogany
Chimera doubles.

Cavorting into her,
Psychologies
Fullest emptiness.

Drastic is the
...Vow...

One which
Most perceive.

I let it
Palpate
My sheathing...

And my entrails
Lay open...
As she played cello.

With intestines of mine,
Her smile planted
In mist.

Painted on sawmill
Hinges...
It began.

To sieve serrating
..Arms...
Back to my tissues
Within.

My bones; refused
Seeping aqueducts.

Only to quail from sin.

We wetted; our contour
Tongues on....
O-negative streams.

So animalistic,
I dwindled upon
Her lancet...

And we let our
Collage begin.

To mutilate a body
of work and play on
To justify the night
from day,
Tray bomb
When ink on court paper
dismay
When blocks are heavy
more than cities and hoods
Having pens and fingers
crossed unlucky would
be Having plenty of sense
yields no change  know nothing
These are the feels
of blacks on reels
best trip found on wheels of steel
boys in hoods
dream of get a ways
but stuck in rent trap
just around the way
old whips spinning in place
feudal fictions with chrome face
but they spin in place
mine expired on the shelf
others capped in plastic
gone without a trace
and souls never get laced
wanna speak up
but the protest gets maced
wanna be out and about
but the fear has clout
taken root like gout
and tyranny's history can't be erased


We palpate emotions and scatter when lit
scared of the shadows ***(s) it reminds of the gallows
we don't **** each other for hate but the fear of fake fellows
when wedged against one another friendly fire is common
want the hole truth ask a woman
about **** and her worth to her mate
easily forgotten
or a conditioner well set in
the follicles of cells
that have scheduled themselves
does she have to remember or is she trying to forget
it's not irrational when the actual is soul grim
not one goddess in my life has been free from man's sin

So why would you ask me to fore grin the future for-a-shadowed past?
Those fair weathered sentiments won't equalize the rash,
the cash, the inevitable failing that you will consider surprise
but everytime I tune I-n-turn-all-bleedin; so eyes
Caulderize
in glass
and I rehash
pipedreams
about what it means to be flesh and
bleed to death until
dues US part          
of a hole
Whispe ring smoke shaped
squares that paint bland pastel No thin g(s)
over the future
over the graffiti gravel walls
artistic truth strewn loudly in rainbow-essencent  font
wormholes to the past
the truths written outside of the lines
like my thoughts
residing before and after their time

But I will not be blotted out
I will not be a second page story
I will not be his story
I will be beautiful
I will be bold
I will bow as I
will my will
into arches
like

A rainbow
you've seen one before but Why not once more
A candle cut and relit
You've Seen one before but Why not once more
A levy split wide then mended
You've seen one before but Why not once more
An invisible line to demarc yet removed
You've seen one before but Why not once more
A Justice Deferred to a Justice Realized
You've Seen one before but
Why not see One More
The 4 car pile up
You've seen one before but Why not once More

My Dreams have Dreams
and my deeds have means
I'd mute or late the alpha; Bet!
com mem or ate via
Con temp late buy weigh a
lack-lust-or-love core tessy of
for est ries dove s
held high above
a symbol to shove mine waves
in current streams
d v us meme S
eth ni city
Make Like Kings
and drop beats
down sewer swings
where rats tap time
on the crumbs of earthlings
Shiva grant me Wings
So I maybe shot out the sky
by pole lease hap slings
but Fire Works
with ease
Pop Flare
Beware
FREEZE
don't stare
You There
Whoop and Hollar
with yo hands in the air!

My dance is broken english
To Mute or late my body
of work is fore play
better read weep to soak up my
oil of a lay
scramble Hamlets in four ways
door ways work both ways and
mine is a carol cell of more rays
sung from sunrise to where devils dwell  
Jorge
No bullet will silence my pathway
Just incite celebration
reincarnation
for a birthday;
I learned that one from MLK

Autumnal hint faintly tinges air
finding this mortal
     bewitched by blare
ring refulgent radiance,

      which quiets viz cheer
ring, harkening murmuring analogous,
     when Holiday carolers
     happily, gingerly, and

     festively doth declare
punctuating ethereal medium
     melodic equilibrium gently, ineluctably,
     and lightly dust flirtatiously

     kibitz, palpate, and tickle ear
projecting medicinal kissing effusion
     across world wide web
     primal beat linkedin within

     uber tinder shutterfly
     razzmatazz nature
     made renaissance faire,
which brilliant mid

    eve ville theme
     finds me shielding sensitive sight
     against blinding, glomming, and limning
     eye optic cull glare,

thus hands cupped
     visor like impinged
     whatsapp blinking instagram
     reduced vision bolsters hear

ring to increase decibel
(home on the) range
prodigious symphonic production
issuing verdant pastoral themes

billow and flow across terra firma
hallowed ground made sanctimonious  
immaculate mother earth conception
synchronized in symphony with terrestrial
fauna and flora, which life forms abound,
via natural laboratory called Mother Earth
especially at unseasonably

thermally, searingly scorching dawn
make offal spring tide, where multitudinous
existence  strain to avoid extinction
carving out figurative zoological niche

in kaleidoscope of pall luted colors
and funereal sounds galore
idyllic melodic musical sounds compete
against backdrop clanging din

artist palette of rainbow blended spectral views,
sickeningly sabatoged, smeared, and sullied
which unforgiving, twining,
and strangulating manifestations
vaporize, undermine, and traumatize
therapeutic potential restorative
natural environment damaged
ability becalm ming terrestrial sepsis

no longer assuage auditory and
visual sense pleasures respectively
serve as psychic balm against global threat
of life, liberty and happiness triage psalm

rampant forming diabolical deliberate deeds
bred deeply rooted soiled hatred
kudzu resistance asphyxiates human camaraderie
democratic state attacked with no qualm

malicious terroristic plots splatter
(Jackson ******* like) methodical map
blueprint leaves catastrophic trail of red
dire prognostications constitute doomsday scenario
no rocket scientist mentality requisite
grave misfortune writ large for all life.