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"idealist" poems
Hi! The creator too is blind, Struggling toward his harmonious whole, Rejecting intermediate parts, Horrors and falsities and wrongs; Incapable master of all force, Too vague idealist, overwhelmed By an afflatus that persists. For this, then, we endure brief lives, The evanescent symmetries From that meticulous potter's thumb.
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7.6k
Negation
Sensation, intuition, feeling, and thinking, Is wrapped inside a ball, A small pink ball inside our head, That won't stop till we're dead, Analytical bedrock inside oozing theories, Elemental atoms sizzling logic, The imaginative stranger, One abstracted and eccentric, Walking with shadows, Talking and mocking, Through these theories inside us, Tilting our caps ‘til we’re shaking our heads, Pensive love in storming analysis, Sapiosexually excited, piqued interest, Unemotional and thoughtfully attuned, Absently minded, always condoned, Unconventional and impartially stringed, Weirdly wired in auxiliary functions, Misconstrued and misunderstood, An ****** intelligence bleeding paranoia, Knocking unto me, Into you, inside us all, It’s something we all yearn to be, And when you fail and prevail we laugh, Crickling crickets thinking nothing, Washing down the storm drain, With no thoughts fluidly sliding down my throat, Pop goes no questions into absolute concise words like freshly broken glass, Again shadows await, but different shadows, Blinking at me staring at you, Wondering what’s what, inside this dementia made sense of a lovely afternoon, Inside your sane, autocorrected, predetermined, twitching, little…mind. Inspired by Myers Briggs Personality Test Tyler is INTP... Logician  (Introverted INtuitive Thinking Perception) The drifter, dreamer the absent minded professor! SassyJ is INTJ... Architect  (Introverted INtuitive Thinking Judging) The starry-eyed idealist manoeuvring life as if a giant chess board! What Myer Briggs personality type are you?... See link below It would be great to know.Please comment!! http://www.16personalities.com/intp-personality
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Jan 11, 2016
Jan 11, 2016 at 10:30 AM UTC
No.1 Sapiosexual Slapping Inquisition- Collaboration with Tyler James Birabent (#one-a-week-series)
Sensation, intuition, feeling, and thinking, Is wrapped inside a ball, A small pink ball inside our head, That won't stop till we're dead, Analytical bedrock inside oozing theories, Elemental atoms sizzling logic, The imaginative stranger, One abstracted and eccentric, Walking with shadows, Talking and mocking, Through these theories inside us, Tilting our caps ‘til we’re shaking our heads, Pensive love in storming analysis, Sapiosexually excited, piqued interest, Unemotional and thoughtfully attuned, Absently minded, always condoned, Unconventional and impartially stringed, Weirdly wired in auxiliary functions, Misconstrued and misunderstood, An ****** intelligence bleeding paranoia, Knocking unto me, Into you, inside us all, It’s something we all yearn to be, And when you fail and prevail we laugh, Crickling crickets thinking nothing, Washing down the storm drain, With no thoughts fluidly sliding down my throat, Pop goes no questions into absolute concise words like freshly broken glass, Again shadows await, but different shadows, Blinking at me staring at you, Wondering what’s what, inside this dementia made sense of a lovely afternoon, Inside your sane, autocorrected, predetermined, twitching, little…mind. Inspired by Myers Briggs Personality Test Tyler is INTP... Logician  (Introverted INtuitive Thinking Perception) The drifter, dreamer the absent minded professor! SassyJ is INTJ... Architect  (Introverted INtuitive Thinking Judging) The starry-eyed idealist manoeuvring life as if a giant chess board! What Myer Briggs personality type are you?... See link below It would be great to know.Please comment!! http://www.16personalities.com/intp-personality
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I'm a realist, mildly an idealist. My ideas create a mindset that allows me to express feelings But I built up a wall, high as a skyscraper..I stand, as a realist I know if I jump, I'm bound to meet my maker. I don't think idealist are weak. I just think they escape the honesty they seek. You don't walk a straight line in order for you to finally reach your peak. Obstacles come and go, water is a need if you want to grow, you can't have a lightbulb without an idea and expect it to magically glow. I know every action I do and especially when I am wrong but, I just won't rewrite all my wrongs, they inspire all of my greatest songs. Optimistic that I'll make it, I just need more effort than 50 percent because you get what you put in, as a realist I know if you put in half, half back is all you will ever get. People remember your mistakes, the heroics they just simply forget. I can't stand when people think it's okay to live a life without any regrets. *Sure things happen for a reason and karma "may" have your enemies morally bleeding, but your ideology sounds misguiding and thought process misleading. Karma is an excuse to allow a higher calling contribute to your spiteful abuse, you don't want the crime on your soul so you allow the angels to fatally shoot. It's fine, before we die, we all commit a crime. Women **** men steal, just being in love should require you to do time.* Born a realist sinner...far from an idealist winner Success doesn't come over night The sweet life doesn't come until after you've made your dinner..and cleaned the plate, but we're never satisfied...nah, we going to probably eat again late. Work hard for the dream, don't just rely on faith. A realist knows she may not show up, even when you scheduled a date. It's all love to the victims, stuck in a fiction. If you hate this piece...your ignorance got you unable to listen. Not my problem though. I'm speaking without any permission! I like that idea...oh **** wait...I think I just become my own contradiction? ...forget it, I'm healing, my words and unpredictable wisdom, I am still dealing. Insanity is a fear that is expressed towards you when others have confusion A realist, an idealist..no one is right...our concepts to each other seem all an illusion. -Dougie simps
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Dec 8, 2013
Dec 8, 2013 at 11:13 AM UTC
"The "idea" of a realist"
I'm a realist, mildly an idealist. My ideas create a mindset that allows me to express feelings But I built up a wall, high as a skyscraper..I stand, as a realist I know if I jump, I'm bound to meet my maker. I don't think idealist are weak. I just think they escape the honesty they seek. You don't walk a straight line in order for you to finally reach your peak. Obstacles come and go, water is a need if you want to grow, you can't have a lightbulb without an idea and expect it to magically glow. I know every action I do and especially when I am wrong but, I just won't rewrite all my wrongs, they inspire all of my greatest songs. Optimistic that I'll make it, I just need more effort than 50 percent because you get what you put in, as a realist I know if you put in half, half back is all you will ever get. People remember your mistakes, the heroics they just simply forget. I can't stand when people think it's okay to live a life without any regrets. *Sure things happen for a reason and karma "may" have your enemies morally bleeding, but your ideology sounds misguiding and thought process misleading. Karma is an excuse to allow a higher calling contribute to your spiteful abuse, you don't want the crime on your soul so you allow the angels to fatally shoot. It's fine, before we die, we all commit a crime. Women **** men steal, just being in love should require you to do time.* Born a realist sinner...far from an idealist winner Success doesn't come over night The sweet life doesn't come until after you've made your dinner..and cleaned the plate, but we're never satisfied...nah, we going to probably eat again late. Work hard for the dream, don't just rely on faith. A realist knows she may not show up, even when you scheduled a date. It's all love to the victims, stuck in a fiction. If you hate this piece...your ignorance got you unable to listen. Not my problem though. I'm speaking without any permission! I like that idea...oh **** wait...I think I just become my own contradiction? ...forget it, I'm healing, my words and unpredictable wisdom, I am still dealing. Insanity is a fear that is expressed towards you when others have confusion A realist, an idealist..no one is right...our concepts to each other seem all an illusion. -Dougie simps
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I should have known better... I should have known better than to think you would be the same girl i fell in love with so long ago... Some of the most basic texts for an an intro biology class could have told me that each and every one of the cells that make up the human body die and regenerate... Most of which do so in less than a year... So why am i so surprised to find that all that was you died in the years since we last spoke... Even still you stand and speak with her voice... You even remember me... But you are nothing more than a clone of that woman i loved back then... So here i am a man that firmly believes in the laws and rules that govern the world we live in attacked and brought to his knees by that one little speck of an idealist that lived somewhere in my soul at some point... All because foolishly i believed that biology was a secondary force when put up against the intangible things that make this cold and lonely life worth living... I thought our love could survive... This time it took for both of us to become entirely different people was too much for out love to bear... You are not her... Even if you have her face...even if you have that smile... Even if you have those eyes that pierce the soul that i didn't even know existed until you showed it to me... And what's worse is that now you show me that in no way am i the same person i once was either...
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Apr 18, 2012
Apr 18, 2012 at 1:12 AM UTC
Biology
No, I'm not a capitalist, a socialist or a communist . I'm not a racist, a fascist or a nationalist. No, I'm not an idealist, a pacifist or a humanist. I'm not a Buddhist, a Taoist or an atheist. No, I' m not an activist, a conspiracist or even an anarchist. Neither elitist nor philanthropist. I am just me, there is no twist. I am simply me, happy to exist, sick of symbols and ideological mist. Open your heart and you will see, it is not me or you, it's we. Symphony in the cacophony. Let's tell the king while on his knee, I am me and we are free and that is how it's gonna be. You have gone too far, oh mighty Czar, but we can break any bar, ist das klar? We are humans, we insist, and from your labels we desist. We are people and we're ****** oh we promise, we'll resist. I am me and I am we. I am you and so is she. We are the leaves of the tree, but what will fall is tyranny We are I, my oh my, and we shall fight until we die. We are I so we can fly. We are I and we stand high. 23/04/12
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Apr 23, 2012
Apr 23, 2012 at 3:11 PM UTC
Ist das klar?
dissipated and disillusioned worms eating through the last splinters of the rotting universal wood. the last transmission of regret sent electronically, spluttered, into a tissue; in a moment of self indulgent ********** live showings of vicious execution, transmitted directly from the electromagnetic waves into the alpha waves of the young and naive. Desensitization, the last drops of humanity into complete disengagement. endlessly recycled bohemian ideologies whispered into the ear of the eager idealist. spreading like fire, before burning out into the uncatchable reverie up with the stars, with all the other reveries, shining bright, intangible. Instant dismissal from the old man, as the big curtain draws. Cynicism and fragmented past, falling on apathetic eyes, a proud man treat with a padded hand. faux sympathetic tones, blushing cheeks on old bones. Begging with your body crumbling to dust with the disinterested doc, looking at the clock counting the milliseconds to the paycheck. Decomposing until you can be swept under the perpetual rug with the rest, Vacuum.
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Jun 12, 2014
Jun 12, 2014 at 12:11 PM UTC
Vacuum
the Hail Mary transgression: falling in love with me when it crosses over the line *guilty of the same, so even when I condemn the errant woman, with an ice block from a Northeastern pond of no soft forgiveness, which is still and yet, the only cutoff ending appropriate but you woman, deserve to learn that emboldened fantasy that crosses broken bold lines, is a jagged rot that doesn’t cure the dreamy unreality of the-cannot-be, it’s pouring hot water on scalding burns entrenched guess time to share that your fantasy is the number one commandment that this boy also violates routinely so he has a phd of experience, and the burn proofs when he thot he too could be, Cervantes, the knight errant, lover of the impossible woman I, guilty as charged by “The Duke,” am an idealist and bad poet, so many poet-women here I secret cherish at levels that are nonsensical, absurd, ludicrous and hold the fantastical fantasty of them dear, so close and so near, so mine wrote them each love poems, and they know it, now, here, in my confessional booth, my priestly punishment always the same, ten thousand Hail Mary’s, but I cheat the cohen priest, and just write another poem,* this one is about the line that never can  could  will be crossed, hail mary!
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Feb 11, 2019
Feb 11, 2019 at 11:48 AM UTC
Hail Mary transgression: falling in love when it crosses over the line
Distance has a particular way of hurting: It begins slowly, and is self-contained. Because our mothers would often speak about Love, and how everything falls helpless in Love, Distance becomes a housebroken dog. It is powerless, and whilst I love, I am powerful. On Sunday, our fathers would teach us to put our faith in things unseen, and so we grow confident and complacent. Just when you think you’ve understood it, It sinks its teeth in hard and deep. An idealist tries to make it out light and easy They will often write poems about finding ideal love in the real world. But I will write about knowing real love misplaced in an ideal world. It’s a world where comfort could come in binary files filled with digital empathy and memories. Where typed words and numbers that form black and white promises could replace the real and organic voice of reassurance. Where wires between my webcams and your headsets could entangle themselves in ways our fingers used to be intertwined. Where waiting for an email meant as much as waiting for you to return home to me. Where the strategic positioning of your punctuation marks could transform these passive symbols into active symbols of love and concern: A comma, like a shared pause for when our eyes meet Exclamation marks for when we wave to each other from across the street, or as a passionate gesture from underneath these sheets. A question mark for when you’re sick and I am by your bed Worried, because you wouldn’t eat. A semicolon for when we argue, and a full stop for when we finally give in. A parenthesis for containing moments of vulnerability that only seem to leak out late at night. You won’t know it but, I dream mostly of an online conversation, filled with time stamps that affirm your presence. If I’m lucky, I will find an ellipsis Small creatures of continuity with heads heavy with hesitation. … And - if I’m really lucky, I’d undo those black buttons of suspense and see you once more.
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May 4, 2014
May 4, 2014 at 10:20 AM UTC
Long Distance at 03:18
Distance has a particular way of hurting: It begins slowly, and is self-contained. Because our mothers would often speak about Love, and how everything falls helpless in Love, Distance becomes a housebroken dog. It is powerless, and whilst I love, I am powerful. On Sunday, our fathers would teach us to put our faith in things unseen, and so we grow confident and complacent. Just when you think you’ve understood it, It sinks its teeth in hard and deep. An idealist tries to make it out light and easy They will often write poems about finding ideal love in the real world. But I will write about knowing real love misplaced in an ideal world. It’s a world where comfort could come in binary files filled with digital empathy and memories. Where typed words and numbers that form black and white promises could replace the real and organic voice of reassurance. Where wires between my webcams and your headsets could entangle themselves in ways our fingers used to be intertwined. Where waiting for an email meant as much as waiting for you to return home to me. Where the strategic positioning of your punctuation marks could transform these passive symbols into active symbols of love and concern: A comma, like a shared pause for when our eyes meet Exclamation marks for when we wave to each other from across the street, or as a passionate gesture from underneath these sheets. A question mark for when you’re sick and I am by your bed Worried, because you wouldn’t eat. A semicolon for when we argue, and a full stop for when we finally give in. A parenthesis for containing moments of vulnerability that only seem to leak out late at night. You won’t know it but, I dream mostly of an online conversation, filled with time stamps that affirm your presence. If I’m lucky, I will find an ellipsis Small creatures of continuity with heads heavy with hesitation. … And - if I’m really lucky, I’d undo those black buttons of suspense and see you once more.
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Oh Jesus time by the pink and purple sunset Thinking of a traveling guitar boy, of chai sleep broken by dying beggars all trying to tell me something. If the ocean lights don't call us home we could backpack to the crocodile places eat thirteen camels with the people smoke tea and rainy day cigarettes. Heartache sits like snow on the roof of the hollow hut Connecticut. The kids tried too many times for nothing. Mom dream better for me Wear your peace face I'm trying to change You're talking France nostalgia while upstairs the weaver makes seven-dollar laments for international slum chickens. We can't do better than the break-bone average reading scorched Chalbi newspapers hacking coughs and statii soup for company. Bukowski's in Mumbai eating cheddar My siblings are in cages down in Egypt The Spanish Communist cowboys spill Turkana survivors on the floor of the Greyhound bus Is there a hood idealist, ghetto healer? My Sacramento roommate's drinking skeleton coffee in the bathtub, she's got the Arab fever, so have I, and not much else but these crazy plague jackets this hungry smoking December and Rumi's kids in cold-bread streets with protest signs. We're easier taught the panic than the magic or the save, There's too much strange and midnight waste. You didn't know I needed you but you came through. You're shimmering in clothes of saxaphone
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Mar 6, 2013
Mar 6, 2013 at 2:03 AM UTC
The Displaced Poem
Am I not Heard? Wherever I see are fools. Converse Everyday like toyed tools. Am I not Heard? Seeing these artificial priests. Question is,do they practice what they preach? I have a voice. I want to break the stereotype wall. Breaking the division and stand so tall. I have a voice. I will put the world in order. Correct the mistakes of our past father. I have a voice. Whatever I say is genuine. I promise that I will change this world from within. I am the future, The epitome of change, Every syllable I say is the truth, that, I must say. You can laugh at this poem, At the ideas and the words, Call me an idealist or a fool, but contemplate at it first, When our voices combine, we can amplify. Change this world with our voice, no one shall defy. This is our future, our generation. We are the progress. Stand back you elders, Let us handle the rest.
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Sep 23, 2013
Sep 23, 2013 at 1:35 AM UTC
Voices And Virtues
As the light made islands on the water, ethereal bubbles frozen with warmth, tucking tired beaks beneath wings, pigeons saunter, into sleep, on tesselated petals, going forth. That summer aura which sparks from you and thrums moving dials to a sanguine solstace in me. Hitting cold skin, the blood rush is autumn; cathartic capillary trees with loose fingers and red leaves and in these veins speeds my guttural london estuaries, to syncopate their tide beats with yours. Those mediterranean wine filled arteries will encompass my imperfections to pearls. From my idealist sonnets hearts you come fixed on air, a changeable paint that can't run. Like newborn fern fronds you unfolded your words cut with castanet syllables peppered in. Sentences ushered on as pacified herds breathed out plumes, rippled fire, wind-thinned. I then learned a beauty untamed, is a beauty rare. Those eyes indeed are coffee dewdrops pierced by sun. Those lips are pronounced like unbroken waves that tear, on the cusp of unspoken words braced for freedom. Core bright, i see the rose through the street's ornaments. From the slight rise of your nose to those angular cheekbones, further a picture of stunning complex arrangement; identity of locked cogs, in you, are the pieces of home. Islands on the canal of time; forever moments un-faded. We aren't seen in a new light without becoming more illuminated.
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Aug 25, 2013
Aug 25, 2013 at 6:03 PM UTC
Camden Canal
A famous "Barry Hodges" poem! I was strolling along the Normandy beaches In the close vicinity of Caen one day With a very tasty piece of arm-candy to hand When I found a bleached human femur on the beach. Oh dear me, what thoughts this conjured up in my brain As I imagined whose bone it might have been! Perhaps some pathetic soldier boy landing in forty-four Who got slotted by a gallant German gunner, His eyes feasting on the sacrificial cannon fodder So foolishly supplied for his target practice. Then, as I grabbed my lady friend's juicy **** Causing her to turn and sink her tongue into my earhole, We sank onto the sands in order to sate our lusts, (enflamed by a very delicious meal of moules marinières and a bucket or two of well-chilled Muscadet sur Lie) I thought, what the **** does it all matter? This is now, and that was then, and this old world Has become a much nicer place nowadays; But how mistaken I was in that fond thought; Oh what an idealist I am in a world of woe. For, all of a sudden, a contingent of fat dwarfs appeared, Totally naked apart from their luminous Uncle Sam hats And the Stars and Stripes hanging from their arseholes; How I marvelled at their disgusting shapes (and how surprised was I to find their genitals were of normal measurements and thus rather intrusively large by comparison with the rest of their miniature bodies). O dear Lord and alleged Father of Mankind Forgive their horrid ways verily and forsooth. With a whoop, those demented military retards, [see note below] The famous 118th battalion ****** Marine veterans, A contingent of whom emerged from a portable toilet (which must have been a bit of a tight squeeze), Chopped my girl-friend up with their bayonets, Whereupon I crapped myself in terror and pity, Before retrieving the purse from the eviscerated corpse, Realizing that her PIN number was still useable Until 'les flics' discovered her unfortunate remains After the shore ***** had partaken thereof.
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Mar 10, 2015
Mar 10, 2015 at 8:08 AM UTC
Memories of the Normandy Beaches
A famous "Barry Hodges" poem! I was strolling along the Normandy beaches In the close vicinity of Caen one day With a very tasty piece of arm-candy to hand When I found a bleached human femur on the beach. Oh dear me, what thoughts this conjured up in my brain As I imagined whose bone it might have been! Perhaps some pathetic soldier boy landing in forty-four Who got slotted by a gallant German gunner, His eyes feasting on the sacrificial cannon fodder So foolishly supplied for his target practice. Then, as I grabbed my lady friend's juicy **** Causing her to turn and sink her tongue into my earhole, We sank onto the sands in order to sate our lusts, (enflamed by a very delicious meal of moules marinières and a bucket or two of well-chilled Muscadet sur Lie) I thought, what the **** does it all matter? This is now, and that was then, and this old world Has become a much nicer place nowadays; But how mistaken I was in that fond thought; Oh what an idealist I am in a world of woe. For, all of a sudden, a contingent of fat dwarfs appeared, Totally naked apart from their luminous Uncle Sam hats And the Stars and Stripes hanging from their arseholes; How I marvelled at their disgusting shapes (and how surprised was I to find their genitals were of normal measurements and thus rather intrusively large by comparison with the rest of their miniature bodies). O dear Lord and alleged Father of Mankind Forgive their horrid ways verily and forsooth. With a whoop, those demented military retards, [see note below] The famous 118th battalion ****** Marine veterans, A contingent of whom emerged from a portable toilet (which must have been a bit of a tight squeeze), Chopped my girl-friend up with their bayonets, Whereupon I crapped myself in terror and pity, Before retrieving the purse from the eviscerated corpse, Realizing that her PIN number was still useable Until 'les flics' discovered her unfortunate remains After the shore ***** had partaken thereof.
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41
No regret, But a realization, That life is bigger than success. That life means to share smiles, Farther & wider, No pains. Share just happiness, Ignore the sadness and laugh, Nobody else cares about your tears. In my dreamworld, I had ignored my happiness, Searched happiness in others' smiles. This is a real world, Survival of just the fit ones, Traumatized live the idealist fools.
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Apr 16, 2016
Apr 16, 2016 at 3:37 AM UTC
What I Had Forsaken Was Myself
I am tired, exhausted really. I’m not getting enough sleep. Not enough is going my way. Writing takes a piece of my soul and turns into words while meaningless by themselves becomes something with power. Life doesn’t feel vibrant and colorful like I know it sometimes can be. Life has instead been replaced with a gloomy, apathetic relative. Life has been treating me unfairly, despite my best efforts. It has left me broken and bruised and bleeding in the middle of the battlefield. Despite my cries, nobody hears me as I continue to disintegrate into a shriveling pile of nothing. I feel like I’m losing. No, I know that I’m losing. Because see it’s not the battles that matter, it’s the war. Things have changed, I’m slowly coming back to the person I used to be, unhappy with myself and with life. I’m completely terrified of this thought but far too tired to resist. I don’t know how to reverse, I don’t know how to find happiness. I have lost the road map, I’m scrambling for a hand hold or some sort of sign. I’m too tired to fight. I’m too tired to be happy. I’m too tired to focus on school work. I’m too tired to push myself through 6 hours of homework a night. I’m too tired to carry around a 40 pound backpack from class to class. I’m too tired to find balance between healthy habits and what reality holds. I’m too tired to effectively manage my time, I would rather self-sabotage. I’m too tired to write, I’ve already said this. Maybe if I got more sleep, not so much in my life would be wrong. I like to think that the majority of my life’s problems would be fixed with a little more balance. Perhaps my life would look a little more like my aspirations. Perhaps I would be happier and my eyes filled with more ambition. Perhaps my notebooks would be filled to the brim with intelligent ideas and beautifully crafted writing. Perhaps my life would look more like the plot to a cheesy indie film with the protagonist figuring everything out during a montage set to sentimental music. I would enjoy that. Or Perhaps nothing would change. And everything I imagined is nothing but an impossible world created by fractured idealist’s fuel and fabricated fiction. I’m exhausted and tired of putting my ideas out only to have them rejected. But that’s what writing is about. Reality, and pushing through. Writing isn’t supposed to be infused with sugar-coated metaphors and avoidance of the truth. Writing isn’t supposed to be lies, although that narrative is proposed often. Writing isn’t supposed easy. Writing is supposed to be about emotion. Writing is about failure. Writing is about heartbreak. Writing is supposed to be about the rough times as much as it is about the good times. Writing is real. Writing is exposure. Writing is powerful, simply because of the truth behind it. So I will continue to write even when I don’t feel like it. I will continue to face reality, head on with a stare colder than ice. I will write because it’s not supposed to be easy.
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Apr 1, 2018
Apr 1, 2018 at 5:59 AM UTC
I don’t feel like writing.
I am tired, exhausted really. I’m not getting enough sleep. Not enough is going my way. Writing takes a piece of my soul and turns into words while meaningless by themselves becomes something with power. Life doesn’t feel vibrant and colorful like I know it sometimes can be. Life has instead been replaced with a gloomy, apathetic relative. Life has been treating me unfairly, despite my best efforts. It has left me broken and bruised and bleeding in the middle of the battlefield. Despite my cries, nobody hears me as I continue to disintegrate into a shriveling pile of nothing. I feel like I’m losing. No, I know that I’m losing. Because see it’s not the battles that matter, it’s the war. Things have changed, I’m slowly coming back to the person I used to be, unhappy with myself and with life. I’m completely terrified of this thought but far too tired to resist. I don’t know how to reverse, I don’t know how to find happiness. I have lost the road map, I’m scrambling for a hand hold or some sort of sign. I’m too tired to fight. I’m too tired to be happy. I’m too tired to focus on school work. I’m too tired to push myself through 6 hours of homework a night. I’m too tired to carry around a 40 pound backpack from class to class. I’m too tired to find balance between healthy habits and what reality holds. I’m too tired to effectively manage my time, I would rather self-sabotage. I’m too tired to write, I’ve already said this. Maybe if I got more sleep, not so much in my life would be wrong. I like to think that the majority of my life’s problems would be fixed with a little more balance. Perhaps my life would look a little more like my aspirations. Perhaps I would be happier and my eyes filled with more ambition. Perhaps my notebooks would be filled to the brim with intelligent ideas and beautifully crafted writing. Perhaps my life would look more like the plot to a cheesy indie film with the protagonist figuring everything out during a montage set to sentimental music. I would enjoy that. Or Perhaps nothing would change. And everything I imagined is nothing but an impossible world created by fractured idealist’s fuel and fabricated fiction. I’m exhausted and tired of putting my ideas out only to have them rejected. But that’s what writing is about. Reality, and pushing through. Writing isn’t supposed to be infused with sugar-coated metaphors and avoidance of the truth. Writing isn’t supposed to be lies, although that narrative is proposed often. Writing isn’t supposed easy. Writing is supposed to be about emotion. Writing is about failure. Writing is about heartbreak. Writing is supposed to be about the rough times as much as it is about the good times. Writing is real. Writing is exposure. Writing is powerful, simply because of the truth behind it. So I will continue to write even when I don’t feel like it. I will continue to face reality, head on with a stare colder than ice. I will write because it’s not supposed to be easy.
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45
I know it inside me And I can feel it Everyone has it to some degree A beauty about them Everyone will be loved Everyone finds someone To love them But I haven't found him So much lust From men with the wrong beauty for me I feel just like them Looking for the one I want to love But it's not returned It's never returned I can't wait I can't wait Is he brown-haired and tweed? Is he a four-eyed blond? Is he full of confidence? I have so many hopes and crushes Crushed Is he perfect or almost perfect? Or one of those men with the wrong beauty? Will I settle? No, I won't back down. I'm an idealist so I won't back down. You can't make me settle Like they did in 1391. You can't make me settle Like they did in 1391. You can't make me settle. Like Erin Everly.
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Mar 29, 2012
Mar 29, 2012 at 4:08 PM UTC
Settle
The line on the sand A scar on the flat surface A wound from a knife Temptingly perfect The idealist’s barrier Asking to be crossed Begging to be crossed Whispering dark promises Of god, glory, gold Seductively calling “Step across my idealist There will be reward.” And the cry goes Unignored by cur’ous ear That quickly slips pass So willingly to Forget the line they, themselves Drew not to be toucheded Then they hide the line Filling it with their morals All to prevent shame they draw a new line On the morality plain The old forgotten This new scratch is soon Crossed as swiftly as the last. More soul left behind Until there’s nothing Just a dark spot in shadows On the moon’s dark side
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Sep 20, 2010
Sep 20, 2010 at 11:56 AM UTC
Idealism
"We can do anything we like as long as it is UNIMPORTANT. But in all IMPORTANT matters the system tends increasingly to regulate our behavior." Here, simply, is our delusion: progression of society is no idealist illusion. Surrendering our dignity, we traded our autonomy for the same ****** technology that leads us to singularity. We could **** the scientists, and burn the bots before they breathe, bomb the books; desist, resist! We offer up no real solutions So all we ever do is seethe craving counter-revolution, so I guess it's up to me to end Hawking singlehandedly in the great name of Kaczynski, the only logical solution as far as opened eyes can see.
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Nov 23, 2018
Nov 23, 2018 at 7:41 PM UTC
Mad Man
your mouth speaks like fountains, gray and cold and hardened by the cement in your earlobes, like when latitudes cannot seem to find longitudes and how nothing goes your way. but i can't seem to place your complaints, like the satellites can search for landmarks, how the light searches for the dark, i guess you have worries tied up into a bouquets colored in unfortunate crime series, similar to nancy drew. i always knew i read those books with patience for a reason. negative comforts you with its energies and wide open grace, having its own race that will love you and love you all over again because you are uncertain anyone else will but i can't give you a stable ground to walk on or an idealist world you know you cannot have. everyone else has learned to live, working with the works and hands they've been dealt. you just constantly ask for it, you aren't a king, hardly a man. things like this always take time.
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Mar 15, 2011
Mar 15, 2011 at 12:10 PM UTC
fountains spewing negative calculations
Hello, former lover of mine I love you Why must we be apart? The distance between us is breaking my heart. I remember days when you professed unrelenting love for me Where did those days go? Why must those days repeat in my mind's eye? In desperate attempts to forget you I seek out other foreign lovers But none compare to you They distract me for a little while But once I am done with my futile relations with them, I throw them away And hope and pray that I will see you again, soon, someday. I think to myself: Is everyone around me spellbound by the mediocre? Or set up within a dogmatic routine? I am not quick to call someone unintelligent, but I disagree with the way people are using their intelligence. Lover once mine, Why did we part? You were my only companion that truly knew, and thought like me too You were my twin flame Could I really ever get over you? Could we ever get over the wounds we inflicted onto each other? I am such an idealist and I really think we could But you're a realist... So, my love, do you think we should?
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Mar 23, 2015
Mar 23, 2015 at 9:14 PM UTC
Hello, I Love You
It’s like passing a ******* kidney stone that doesn’t even exist, one that lingers and claws on your minds eye like a cyst upon creation it’s a focus shift, a pool of indifference, a cry before an inner audience uninterested in the parchment, too jaded to focus and too faded to care it’s an outside perspective on your own ******* process, “this guy’s mouthing off like he’s got something to say, who is this ******* and why should we care” it’s when the ratio of happening to happenstance breaks the mold of your monotonous grind, when the words set to define the sounds of a generation fall into a digital pool of overpopulated subterfuge It’s a deflated message and an idealist’s shift to anarchism, too ****** off at the cynics and too distraught to bother with a response It’s like starting to **** off, giving yourself blue ***** and not calling yourself back for a second date
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Sep 26, 2013
Sep 26, 2013 at 7:47 AM UTC
Writers block (tell us what is!)