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ShamusDeyo Nov 2014
Strolling down the dusty road
I reached the path of an abode.
The Black Shamrock an Irish pub
I stopped inside for a pint mug.
One mug topped off with ale
That next to Guiness Stout
Looked pale, A Pilsner in the glass.
And down the bar a drunken fool
Sat staring with blurred eyes and drool.
A sassy colleen tended the bar.
And if your hands were free,
They wouldn't get far, for
If they reach to the wrong place.
You'ld a  bar wenches Slap.
Across your face, and a spot of red
For all to see, that you got the Hand.
Of Molly McGee, a fiddler Bowed.
An Irish Jig, and a penny whistle.
Carried the tune to the drunken crowd
Within the room, a game of darts is made
While cribbage by old farts is played.
And the pints are emptied by the hour.
As the clock rings out in the churches tower
As drunks are Roused, and doors are closed
Old friends will stumble down the road.
All in an Irish night
Dedicated to the Patron Saint of Drunks and Fools

All the Work here is licensed under the Name
®SilverSilkenTongue and the © Property of J.Flack
(fictional tale of real beverages)


he sat at table number 9
she chose 10
their eyes never met
but only through the wall wide gilded mirror across the room
he thought her name was Faith
she guessed his was Luke
he took a sip from his mocha massimo every 41 secs
she guessed he was 41, slowly stirring her white-no-sugar earl grey
she wondered if the ******* page three of his 'Sun' was a blond, a brunette or a red head
he wondered what principle she's at in 'Why men love *******'
they ate lemon and poppy seed muffins with small bites
his lips were firm
hers unable to hold on to the cheery blush lipstick any longer
he thought she was single and had a RSPCA rescued cat called Biscuit
she guessed he was married with three children and a wife called Porscha
she must be driving a Ka
he must be driving a Jag
she waters her plants every Tuesday, goes to pilates classes on Thursday and on Sundays she watches Terms of Endearment in her pink jumper with her friend Chris and a box of tissues
he walks his dog at 7, plays rugby for Long Lane on Saturdays and on Fridays goes for a pint of Guiness with his friend, Joe
he snores/ she sings in the shower
he's a catholic/ she never quite liked Jesus
he hates his wife/ she loves her cookies
they laugh at the old woman shouting at a bus driver in the street and hate gyms, cyclists in Lycra and anything to do with politics
they secretly read Keats, eat onion bagels and tomato soup and listen to Gershwin

*

they never spoke
they never will
because if they would
Faith would never be able to watch Star Wars again and Luke -
Luke would lose his faith in
love at first sight
fell from her home
Skies of ohio
stumbled from a cloud
Grew her wings on the way down

hellboy in the back pew
cigarettes, blue dress shoes
closed her bible, "I refuse"
She said, "To be a mans property"

Honeybee
Honeybee
honeybee spread your wings
Honeybee
Honeybee
neither bird nor angel,
she flys free.

"I'll take the skills to cook and clean
our sneezes will still sound the same
I'll vist on holidays
but don't you ******* bless me"

"I'll be Domestic for myself
clean home and the best of health
Foster bees
a book to read.
But the bible ain't for me."

Honeybee
honeybee
Somewhere in the inbetween
honeybee
Honeybee,
apartment on deering st

she met me
at a speakeasy
"if you want me you better find me
Through the bookshelves I'll be waiting"

I turn the pages
Find her wedding ring
kept under the mattress,
not even god as a witness.


Doctor in ireland, she told me

escape in comic books
while he's away.

"Before we start, you have to know
One day I'll leave forever
Let's live a life we won't forget
In the meantime, together."

"I live with no one to respond to.
I live without boundary.
My ride or die resides in ireland
I'd like to love you while he waits for me."

Honeybee
honeybee
I've never tasted honey so sweet
Honeybee
Honeybee
Honeybee, Come lay with me

A few kisses later
cross legged in an office chair
sipping warm tea
I wake
green eyes watching me sleep
It's these moments
in between

Honeybee
Honeybee
were those mornings just a dream?
Honey bee
Honey bee
you leave

Remember me
in the old and green
honeybee
you were always free
guiness jogs my memory
The little things
inbetween
Got Guanxi Apr 2015
Deep ridge,
deplete elitists.
Gold flows, layers,
Dbridge,
enriched tone, gates golden,
heavenly.
San Francisco, incomplete,
switch robes.
Can't be beat, Klitchschos,
barking up the wrong tree,
rich tones.
Switch flows, risk it,
rich tea, gifted.
Unwritten, no gimmicks,
smooth months,
pale ale Guiness.
Wrap presents,
gift wrapped,
signed sealed delivered.
Dispatched,
Spit fires, spit facts,
die for the art.
Mismatched.
Calamity believe, nose dive.
Kamikaze.
No harder, fuel,
nose powder.
White knight in shing armour.
1688,
Spanish Armada.
Cut sharp like barber,
bananas,
permanent like markers,
malleable like lava,
pop like cava.
Polova.
Inscribe minds,
magna carter.
Magnificent bars,
gold tales told.
Slaves sold, reigns over.
Cold shoulder,
rainbow coloured mistakes,
shoulders shudder,
steer clear brother,
execute rudder.
Destitute,
Scuppered.
Destination under breath muttered.
Spread like wildfire,
butters, blindman, blackout,
blinds again, shutters.
Dunces, run ****.
Jump ****, loose lips,
loosing grip.
Tip of the iceberg.
Tip of the tongue,
no nice words.
Stigmata.
Godfather,
go harder for our forefathers.
The time is ours.
I have no idea what this.
Why I enjoy writing so much just some of the random things that end up coming out...
Not to be taken too seriously :)
AS Oct 2011
Sometimes I sit, 18 and overheated
in the front room of the men's heritage house, where I
play someone else's guitar and twist my hair in my
palms like
yellow bundles of uncooked pasta I  might
break or
bend or
eat out of restlessness.
Tonight my sandal worked idly, pressing
its shadow into my leg when your electric
warm gaze flipped on
my lightswitch
and clicked. Out of my beige office boredom
came you - toothy.
But in high school you hit on my
best mate's sister, so, perched next to me on the
only plastic chair at the loudest bar in town, I crouched
down in a puddle of beer onto
raised toes and mentioned your name and he,
being British and emotionally constipated, muttered
something about you between football shrieks and cigarette drags,
sipped his Guiness and saw.
A Thomas Hawkins Aug 2010
Me an Jack we out drinking
got a taxi into town
for to have a pint of Guiness
our sorrows for to drown

Well one led to another
as from pub to pub we went
pretty soon we couldn't speak straight
and our money we'd all spent

So we couldn't get a taxi
and the buses were all done
nothing left to do but walk it
and hope we find our way back home

So we walked around in circles
then the depot we did find
sure we could borrow a bus to get us home,
we'd just leave a not behind

Now Jack has pinched a car or two
in times of desperate need
so it only seemed too fitting
he be the one to do the deed

So I stood there like a sentry
as Jack he climbed the gate
He said he'd be two minutes
so I wouldn't long to wait.

But after twenty minutes waiting
I shouted "whats the trouble Jack?"
He said "the bus for Ballyneety
is parked right at de back"

So I told him not to worry
and what to do for best
"Take the bus for Knockananty,
we'll just have to walk the rest."
Gaffer Aug 2015
Front page news
Sad times ahead for happy people
Get in line
Politicians losing the whip
Seen gratifying in phone boxes
A liberal conference
Army cuts have seen the Swiss win the neutral war
Big aeroplane playing hide and seek
Same *** marriage plunged into disarray
Heterosexuals revoke clause 69
Mary's got a headache
Migration watch in london spot new species
A rare Nigel
The stay together campaign have run out of money
Independents rolling in the black stuff
Later changed to multi coloured stuff
Guiness drinkers in Swiss tanks demand apology
Women say bedroom tax is affecting performance
Men agree whilst channel hopping
Bald people in North Korea wigging it
Same *** mannequins in Moss bros
Church moving to M and S
S and M on Saturday nights
Hp poets uploading
Beware
Bound to offend some dummies.
phil roberts May 2017
Mr Warrington lived up the hill
He was very big and very round
With a big round wobbling face
Guiness loomed large in his legend
When he used to come home from the pub
He'd say to us cheerily
"Give us a push up th'ill kids!"
So we'd gather round
Pushing him and pulling him up the hill
Like a tiny fleet of tugs
Nudging a liner into position
"Yer good kids!" he'd say "Ere y'are!"
And he dug into his pocket for small change
He threw it on the ground and
We scrabbled merrily
With every penny a blessing

                                        By Phil Roberts
Cold, savory, watery, long nights, blah blah blah

do one and then eagle, eagle it out, extended body, proud body, better body,

spread, spread like can't believe it

ate late te  ca tate

savor with character, meaning don't drink and drive

beer, cold, beer, yes

man, beer, cold, stoic, stone

battered, battled, tender living for, dying for, kratos and all of his gore

beers one hell of a *****, loving it more, confident and barley off limit

drink at 16, away with questions

Questions quietly dissipate, questions fly out door, drink given by gods for celebrate, sadness, sigh,

some do do do some don't don't don't then make group AA why why sway sway more more support support spokes spokes can't quite nicotine quit no smote mote vote, find given god chance

some go until the end of time, merry, fat, fine

beer, lovely, bubbly, headache, heartache, attack!! woah, take it back

Guiness with eggs at breakfast
pale ale with serious males
cider with lovers
gin for expression
whiskey for metal
wine for Bukowski, ******* his beauty, soul, ****, ****
Heineken for pretentious men


One more, again
Francie Lynch Mar 2017
Hawthorn hedgerows separated their fields.
Alice often found Towser lapping
From Jim's cupped hand,
At his hill well.
Her brothers fished Jim's salmon-rich creek.
To get her animal she walked through the bushes,
Drank his water.
They decided to wed.
He poured a new kitchen floor;
Chickens and sows,
Sons and daughters arrived,
Through famine and taxes
They prospered, survived.

Over the evening pint,
The lads grumbled about the Travellers
Camped off the road to Jim's.
     They're gypsies, spilled Jim,
     No different than him, pointing to Frank, beneath a tin:
                                   Guinness is good for you.
     I passed them at tea, they were eating my fish.
     I nodded Okay, and they sang, "Make a wish!
"

How comes it to pass,
Is anyone's guess.

Jim left walking for home,
A dark journey, alone.
The night sky was clear,
Jim loved the fresh air.
In his line he saw
The gypsy's red fire.
He was offered a drink,
Being a purveyor of craic,
The stars glided eastward,
Alice watched them that night,
Waiting for Jim to come back.

He rose with a scratch,
And a Guiness-stained yawn,
And the smell of a smokey,
Fire-haired woman.

For seventeen years no words were spoken,
Alice was redolent,
The holy of holies lay open,
The body's been stolen.
In the stillness of night,
Alone in her bed,
Jim lay beside her;
Her man was dead.

One fish, one wish,
And all was unsaid,
An unspeakable silence
Envelope the dead.

A wish is a fish,
Alive in deep water;
If you hook it, release it,
It'll swim to another.

Jim died alone
In his house, not his home;
His wish transpired
By fish and his fire.
Ryan Bowdish Jan 2013
Last call
Last chance
No Guiness
No Pabst

Let's take a walk down Ballard
The barlights glisten within you
Your cheeks glow in streetlights

I knew you'd love this.
phil roberts Feb 2016
Mr Warrington lived up the hill
He was very big and very round
With a big round wobbling face
Guiness loomed large in his legend
When he used to come home from the pub
He'd say to us cheerily
"Give us a push up th'ill kids!"
So we'd gather round
Pushing him and pulling him up the hill
Like a tiny fleet of tugs
Nudging a liner into position
"Yer good kids!" he'd say "Ere y'are!"
And he dug into his pocket for small change
He threw it on the ground and
We scrabbled merrily
With every penny a blessing

                                        By Phil Roberts
Megan McCormick Mar 2013
Hearts beating close together, separated only by flesh.
He stares at her, he's speechless, he can hardly believe his eyes.
She's perfect, she's all he ever wanted, and she finally agreed.
She said yes, she said yes, she said yes.

Fifteen years pass, no one would recognize them anymore.
He is distant, cold, secluded in his thoughts,
She is never home.
Look into their past and a story unwinds,
One of betrayal and heartbreak.
As her line of lovers grew ever longer,
His collection of empty bottles expanded.
He never left her, she never left him,
But always the hateful words flew.
Their love that once burned brighter than the stars
Glows dimly like the dying embers of a flame.
What could have happened in such short time
To change a love so pure?

Now he sits in his chair, where he always is,
Awaiting his beloved to return from the latest motel room.
His vision is blurry and he can hardly think
As he throws the next bottle to the floor.
He turns his head slowly, and there on the table,
The medications no one ever took.
He lifts his hand slowly, screws open the lid,
Swallows the pills one by one.
He washes them down with the last of his Guiness,
Then sits back and waits for the end.

She comes home, a quarter to two, smelling of stale smoke.
She walks right past him, doesn't even flinch,
Picks up the phone and makes the call.
The ambulance arrives,
She doesn't even cry,
She packs up her things as they leave.
Open the car door, drive away until the sun rises,
Drive farther still.
Arrive in California to start a new life,
Leaving everything, including her memories, behind.
Francie Lynch Nov 2017
The disembodied radio host asked:
If you could live a past experience,
What would you choose?

I searched my far and recent memories.
What would it be?
Some thought ensued...
Then some more.
A week's gone by. Here's why.
Seven days ago...
I'd like, I thought, to bumper-jump
In four inch snow.
Then six days ago...
The tender, innocent, inviting experience
Of my most amazing, surprising and tantalizing
First Kiss.
Then five days ago...
My university years. They happened once.
Then four days ago...
Achieving a pleasing place with my avocation.
Then three days ago...
The first born, second born, third born. Daddyhood.
Then two days ago...
My happy and contented first day of retirement.
One day ago...
A Guiness and a shot of Jameson. Grandahood.
And today?
What would I like to re-experience...
Many more days
Like today.
phil roberts Dec 2015
Mr Warrington lived up the hill
He was very big and very round
With a big round wobbling face
Guiness loomed large in his legend
When he used to come home from the pub
He'd say to us cheerily
"Give us a push up th'ill kids!"
So we'd gather round
Pushing him and pulling him up the hill
Like a tiny fleet of tugs
Nudging a liner into position
"Yer good kids!" he'd say "Ere y'are!"
And he dug into his pocket for small change
He threw it on the ground and
We scrabbled merrily
With every penny a blessing

                                        By Phil Roberts
Off into the night!!! Praise!  Off! Red lights and helmet!  Yes! Hahsha people here, people there gotta protect the noggin!  Hahhaha riddles are worthless unless sung by masters and picked up by servants!   Bahahah guiness is worthless unless poured slow and downed quick God ******!  Pour more more yes yes god ****** oh battles and craze, crazy night, be my puppy, wait in the car opposite and do what needs to be done!  Take it!  Windowed pup, smash it!
Salmabanu Hatim Jul 2019
Ride in a Ferrari,
See the Seven Wonders of the world,
Travel in the Concorde,
Be in the Guiness Book Of World Record for writing the most poems,
Go bungee jumping on Victoria Falls,
And lastly see Serengeti Wildbeest Migration on hot air balloon.
30/7/2019
Things I want to do before I die.
My records spin pass Guiness,
Yo I'm in this to win this, hands stinging like Roy Innis, haters witness,
The blood on my fist, from leeching tasting this, style of a sword grist,
Pain makes my brain, stronger in the range, I shoot a shot, *******,
See the lyrics grow insane, eyes bugged out, like seeing souls drained,
I'll remain, number one seed, draft pick, hellspawn chain licks,
I'm loving it, hovering over the souls, like a canopy that blows,
In the wind, not for show, this for ya mental,
No sentimental,
I turn murders scene comical, joker flow cant stand with cycle,
Of the astro, wheel I'll appeal wicked as God,  with the gold plated steel,
For real, I seen blood spills, I gave King David his kills, by the thousands,
Looks like I'm wilding, styling, over these new kids, I break wigs,
Check the digs, of a mastermind, dug into my universal mind,
Expose the hidden signs, one eye with a sty, wicked slick and sly,
Papers order for the final fry, century 19 to the 13, rose a state of surpreme,
A king before the dream, a project before the beam, the I in the team,
See the superwoman theme, exterminate manhood, there I stood,
Holding my wood, stick see the judges waving the wick, black magic,
Fed to state bureaucratics, leaving wallets deeply impacted,
Poor get a chance, to sell out to riches, new world, but too many glitches,
I see the same moon, the same stars zoom, when the light become gloom,
I'm in my room, like Ruffin day after day, hoping the dark skies, fade away
Now say, what ya gotta say, I'll sit back and hold enemies as prey,
I feast like a lion, I ain't lying, plot for the skill, I stay multiplying, eying,
My legacy, I see them peepin me, like ODB I feel like the lost son, of jesus baby!
It crazy, how many memories, can fade me, I stayed with the, saul agony,
Hearts of many, turned to stone, still standing strong, on my own,
Like Patti service the shotti, while praying to Pesci, dont disrespect me,
These liquid swords, will have ya singing, soprano vocal chords,
Brian Turner Jan 2021
As the night grows dim
The Harbour bar draws us in
Past seagulls who soar
To the welcoming door

The fire is on
The people sit low
The bar is full
The taps are slow

We wait at the door
As the Guinness is poured
How you doin boy?
Not bad, just o'er from Gweedore

The craic is good
The night is long
The drum beats hard
To the Ceiltic song

More people pile in
To the small rooms 'n the floor
More Guiness to order
More time at the door
Memories of the Harbour bar in Portrush
Yo wish I could hear your voice we suppose to get a Rolls Royce
Visions of choice I which it wasn't so much noise my poise
Is broken still hoping souls tryna cope and I'm feeling satan
Leeching into my souls since i broke away from our own tolls
Of life **** baby you was suppose to be my **** wife
But god the father took ya home early though portals
Of the hidden eyes spies on the wise Angel's to demons scheming
**** I cant even see the cleaning ***** looks from the books
I under look spiritual am i wise once i learn to magnetize flys
9 soon to baptize my soul check the fiery glow bricks to sto'
Big ruby bezels it's a ritual in the making no time for shaking
The breaks I **** stakes watch out for the jakes I shake
Wish the pain wasn't so real now I'm feeling alone with the peels
Caps perhaps I need a dirt nap to let my body rest in a collapse
Living exodus deaths genesis pour up another bottle of Guiness
Records to play match every thing I say spin it wickedly
Then ***** it slowly so I can control thee souls of rock n roll
Take a stroll down the valley of gloomy skull to show
How pain effects us daily when some just passed away
Daily maybe it's just a lesson in life I ain't got no joy had a boy
But couldn't play pops always harasses by the cops props
Staged twelve gauge my lyrics from a hidden cage full of rage
Ready to let go ****** ****** still blasting at my fake disciples



Yeah late night flashback see the diamonds in the back
No cadillacs but I keep the gats in the back trunk waves
Serenade the airwaves these days 360 spinning waves
Low cut diamond axis baby girl was the biggest factor
Now I cant think straight driving drunk over the interstate
Feel fate my souls pourin out like stormy nights kites
Smoothing Duke Ellington flows a mellow mood crudes
Dejavu to crews catch these blues I'm spinning early like news
Morning til the break of dawning no time for pawning spawning
Out the hells bath feel my wrath all serious joker play no laugh
Applied the math no subtraction but mad addition bullets spitting
Spider web ya suspension fail signs pined crossed off the timeline
I cant shine because I let darkness confine this is the cure
Remedy part two for sure I gotta keep it pure distilled my will
So I could heal but the pains digging to deep it's like a steel
Plated knife now I'm tryna thing of ways to entice a slice
Off of the books of death still holding my breath no accounts
Amounts to nothing wisdoms unbuttoned expose something
Yo I'm leaking demons out my flesh this is just a mic check
One two rolling to a hood near you yo nature I feel you
Looked at the trees enjoyed the breeze from stars to the seas
I sees part of my souls flees where the afterlife people tease
My conscious I'm ready to go ready to let go off evil people
Ask myself why im stuck on this earth here ****** fear
But my souls dont wanna be here slave to the flesh it's a mess still tryna break the rate of success
Walk between the double I's phantasm alien invasion
Blazing beats to a cajun darkness back once agains cast stones to my sins maybe then I'll see a win...whoooaaa
Uh, i stay high like a ****** spree,
Live version, but deadly,
Stay ready, lyrics cuttin' like a michete, now tell me,
How many wanna, front off my LP,  you see,
The light that i bring,
Recognize nature, ***** im a ******* king,
Make the chorus sing,
Til heaven and hell rings,
See everyone, gather in a cling,
Bling,
Off the necklace, yeah i rock da wreckless,
Ruthless,
To these news kids spitting,
I leave em toothless,
Guns on ya jaw,
All they ******* saw,
Was a flash, off the past,
Now they, flat up on they ***,
Bring that raw ****,
**** the **** corporate,
We taking mob chances,
See how my moves advances,
Delta stealth tactics,
Bring more heat than black smiths,
Got the ****, for the phat stiffs,
My *******, flossed down in Tiff,
My gun my hype man like Busta to Spiff,
My hearts in it to win it,
Shut down down the stage, ballpark, like the Yankee penants,
Twenty six and counting,
Yosef the got clout and,
Haters in the rear, just shouting,
Mad cuz, they get no play,
I say,
Freak the mics, right harder than lines, of Dolemite,
The lines is white, but my skin is dark,
**** around, get eat by these lyrical sharks,
The moneys, the honeys,
to the snow bunnies,
Guaranteed you be beggin' Sonny,
They say dont shoot,
Dont shoot,
But all i see is the loot,
Tighten ya boots, as i bounce in the coupe,
Blunt to my lips, with the lazy eye, playing private spy,
Crows on back thats why,
Im come with the wickedest, the tracks i lay, be sickedest,
No loses to this boss, i be the winningest,
Leave no witnesses, ****** all of those in fame,
Check my name, im breakin' recs pass Guiness,
Ah... nothing more enjoyable than acidic gastric fluid (bile) flowing backward into esophagus, resulting in heartburn, disrupting pleasant dreams. Unsure how successful literary endeavor crafting reasonably rhyming poem (actually the following written a couple years ago with only slight modification) regarding aforementioned topic yielding moderately satisfactory (née middling) result.

While deeply asleep
scant minutes before high noon siesta
burning sensation within deep
tracts of throat did creep,
yours truly immediately awoke
with a start, at strong violent

urge to upheap
visualizing setting Guiness Book
of world records leap
ping at lightspeed into bathroom,
nevertheless, I made little
or no bowed peep,
but sat bolt upright stock still
tear ducts activated eyes
as if ready to weep.

Sadness less pervasive than fright
since reverse peristalsis uncommon
within body electric regarding plight,
which analogous volcanic eruption
albeit bubbling magmatic flow slight

near regurgitation found yours truly
on par with fire breathing dragon ar
goo ably momentarily nonplussed -
while dry cough minus gushing lava
gratefully only smoldered before sim

ring after singeing
upper gastrointestinal lining did
allow, enable, and provide mouth
fulls of distilled water satiate sudden
unquenchable thirst relieved result
ant unpleasant aftertaste (no pun

intended), yet distilling humor helps
me weather, manage, cope... with
unexpected physiological fee nom
mina - shot straight up within digest
heave tract, and  I did lament this rick

kitty packet of muscle and bone aft
times susceptible to disheartening
woebegone news afflicting this non
Norwegian bachelor farmer, whom
if the missus cooking triggered bout

unleashing bit torrent of unsavory
plate tectonics, perhaps indicative
of continental drift shrunk down to
miniature, (think nanobot size)
where fault in thee stars
must be held in contempt of court.

No reason for inclusion of above verse,
(constituting six lines), I just wanted
to incorporate gibberish phrases, tip peer
me got some legal lear'n, when truth
Philly admits he seems to know less,
the more he learns, which prompts me to

posit emphatically that ignorance iz
equivalent to bliss, thus presenting
quandary how kin this pronouncedly
reasonably intelligent garden variety
**** sapiens unfetter himself with

cumulative knowledge without reek
horse (neigh) to invasive surgery such as...
prefrontal lobotomy, or te deum down -
smarts some unknown cyber surfer(s)
could easily misconstrue as vainness,
smugness, quintessential pomposity?
and let yours truly not forget emasculation
that prickly emotional immobilization
whereby these lovely bones
subject courtesy senescence
upon cremation reduced to obliteration.

Inching closer to mortality
linkedin with concomitant
subtle deterioration of body electric
finds yours truly (me)
speculating what happens
to corporeal essence
when sprawled out on death bed
able, eager, ready, and willing
to give up the ghost.

Resultant baby boomer saddled
with unbridled tumultuousness stirrup
(thus his need to pony up)
with delayed emotional, mental,
physical, and spiritual development
necessitating self advocacy
at present stage of mine existence,
especially where crisis brews,
concerning fruit flies
(Drosophila melanogaster)
called apartment unit b44 their home turf.

These pesky, itsy bitsy
teeny weeny, blimey insects
hold Guiness Book
of World Records
to bring about infestation
faster than you can say
supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
within our living quarters.

An adult female fruit fly
can lay up to 2,000 eggs
on the surface of anything
moist and rotting.

Within 30 hours,
tiny maggots hatch and start
to eat decayed food.

Within 2 days, they attain adulthood
grown up and ready to mate, too.

While that transition
may seem quick,
a fruit fly only lives 8 to 15 days.

Run in with management
finds innate susceptibility
with anxiety skyrocketing,
cuz umpteen instances
called out about pestiferous critters
supposedly being out of compliance
when aforementioned issue
necessitated exterminator technician
(on quite a few occasions),
unbeknownst to us until
then warden Jackie Geiger
summoned us into the principal's office,
we got pleasantly informed
suddenly finds yours truly and the missus
in violation of rental contract.

Agitation swirls (think F/EF5 tornado)
viciously storming inside me psyche
analogous to whirling dervish
wreaking psychological havoc.

Resultant outcome with threat of eviction,
triggered a slew of physiological symptoms;  
I experience full blown panic attack,
whereby irritable bowel syndrome
kickstarted insync with palmar hyperhidrosis
psychologically run me ragged.

Linkedin and in tandem with current stress
(worse case scenario being homeless)
compounded by tsunami courtesy
severe mental health issues
stifled healthy growth of
body, mind, and spirit triage.

Internalized emotions wrought
quotidian psychological oppression
retrospective reflection courtesy
20/20 hindsight reveals absolute zero
positive natural development of
body, mind, and spirit
extreme cerebral agitation,
and social withdrawal compromised
(during metamorphosis to manhood)
kickstarting and jumpstarting prepubescence
quashing, sabotaging, upending, wrenching
maturation, education, and socialization

every year since being
born free and clear of obvious defects
minus alien aberration, Russian collusion...,
or basket of deplorable dysfunction
crooked Hillary accusation,
and submucous cleft palate
inducing severe nasality
fraught with arduous speaking difficulty
coping, fraternizing, integrating
within ordinary circumstances
alienated, defied, horrified,
mortified, scared, and (frankly) zapped

yours truly, albeit analogous
experiencing ferocious, hellacious, torturous...
suffering predicated on suppressing
and/or repressing moderate slights
inflicted upon withdrawn younger self,
who lacked adroit, deft, heft...
coping with typical situations
subsequently aggravating,
exacerbating, jinxing...
to cultivate, generate,
liberate locked potential
hypothesized, premised, yoked

infantile grievous inconsolable crying
unsolved behavioral mystery
venting only for my "mommy dearest,"
would utter (this from hearsay)
exhibiting extreme aversion
if other than thee birth mother
comforted, cradled, cocooned...,
an extremely reticent individual
buckling as strapping bullies
relentlessly belted jibed, taunted...
said teasing begat intimidation
(oft times mentioned in other poems)

scrawny kid (me) cowed, fawned, irked,
nonetheless I remained passive against
blistering, hectoring, teasing,
which apothegm turning other cheek
avoided getting smashed pumpkin face
courtesy subservient stance
devotional acquiescence help me dog pose
prayer temporarily answered
harboring entire being
ten thousand feet beneath
avast sea of dejection
time and again repeated

alas crass harassment
absorbed into nucleus of every cell
anchored barnacle encrusted tenuous pride
in short shrift
brewing, abjection, dejection, humiliation...
"NOT FAKE" misery
inducing suicidal ideation
(and actual attempt
courtesy anorexia nervosa)
spurring serious delineation
allowing, enabling, proffering
permanent salvation uber vacation
to give lyft among livingsocial
years later overlaid
earthshaking starry eyed son
fault finding fundamentally
misbehavior gifted from
those I called mother and father.
Yenson Mar 2019
Shallow dumb minds
like a child from a child's mind
intellect and reasoning never the forte of dopes
critical analyses unknown
relativity in terms lost in translation
mind governed by simplistic nuances
all semblance no substance
Like a child from a child's mind
like Guiness to Irish lips
the ignorance  of envy that keeps them down
the self loathing that fires their envy
the doubts and fears that underpins
their small and little minds
those little men in all ways..........
Ah... nothing more enjoyable
than acidic gastric fluid (bile)
flowing backward into esophagus,
resulting in heartburn, meanwhile
disrupting pleasant dreams,
which phenomena also known as
gastroesophageal reflux (GER)
found me discombobulated
and swiftly tailored into harried style.

Unsure how successful literary endeavor
crafting reasonably rhyming poem;
actually the following
written a couple years ago
with only slight modification
regarding aforementioned topic
yielding moderately satisfactory
(née middling) result.

While deeply asleep
scant minutes before dawn's early light
burning sensation within deep
tracts of throat did creep,
yours truly immediately awoke
with a start, at strong violent
urge to upheap
(upchuck, toss my cookies, regurgitate...)
insync on par to set Guiness Book
of world records to leap
analogous to lemur

at lightspeed into bathroom,
(these lovely bones
ne'er made jaunt to water closet
but collapsed in a heap -
injuring right hand in the process)
nevertheless, I made little
on the contrary no bowed peep,
but immediately stood
bolt upright stock still
after crumbling to the floor
tear ducts activated eyes
as if ready to weep.

Sadness less pervasive than fright
since reverse peristalsis uncommon
within mine body electric regarding plight,
which analogous volcanic eruption
albeit bubbling magmatic flow slight
retroperistalsis or antiperistalsis
found yours truly
on par with fire breathing dragon argh
ga you ably momentarily nonplussed -
while dry cough minus gushing lava
gratefully only smoldered before simmering

upper gastrointestinal lining
courtesy mouthfuls of bottled water
allowed, enabled, and provided satiation
sudden unquenchable thirst relieved
resultant unpleasant aftertaste (no pun
intended), yet distilling humor helps
me weather, manage, cope... with
unexpected physiological fiery phenomena
- shot straight up within digest
heave tract, and did lament this rick
kitty packet of muscle and bone aft

times susceptible to disheartening
woebegone news afflicting this non
Norwegian bachelor farmer, whom
if the missus cooking triggered bout
unleashing bit torrent of unsavory
plate tectonics, perhaps indicative
of continental drift shrunk down to
miniature, (think nanobot size)
where fault in thee stars
must be held in contempt of court.

No reason for inclusion of above verse,
(previous ten lines), I just wanted
to incorporate said phrases, tip peer
me got some legal lear'n, when truth
Philly admits he seems to know less,
the more he learns, which prompts me to

posit emphatically that ignorance
equivalent to bliss, thus presenting
quandary how kin this pronouncedly
reasonably intelligent garden variety
**** sapiens unfetter himself with

cumulative knowledge without reek
horse (neigh) to invasive surgery such as...
prefrontal lobotomy, or tamping down
smarts some unknown cyber surfer(s)
could easily misconstrue as vainness,
smugness, quintessential pomposity?
Under thee, the guiltless feel safe and free
Correction grips the soul of the guilty

Punished in way most humane
It’s apparent justice – not illusory bane

During PNoy’s first years
Our beauties shone in Ms. World & Ms. Universe

In Sports – Azkals and Volcanoes – another grace
Hey! Our People’s Champ “Pacman” still unfazed

Forget not our Guiness
World’s Largest Human Cross and 10 Commandments

Setting for World’s Longest Coin Chain
We’re not insane nor vain

To the leader who is here
To the people he is dear

Hope those are good signs to vie
Towards our Golden Age! Mabuhay!

-12/16/2011
(Dumarao)
My Poem No. 84
Yenson May 2019
Paddy has his story to tell
please get a Guiness here and call O#Mally over
lets have a crack
before we go dig roads in the morrow
we have potatoes now
no more war from our masters....
Ah... nothing more enjoyable
than acidic gastric fluid (bile)
flowing backward into esophagus,
resulting in heartburn, meanwhile
disrupting pleasant dreams,
which phenomena also known as
gastroesophageal reflux (GER)
found me discombobulated
and swiftly tailored into harried style.

Unsure how successful literary endeavor
crafting reasonably rhyming poem;
actually the following
written a couple years ago
with only slight modification
regarding aforementioned topic
yielding moderately satisfactory
(née middling) result.

While deeply asleep
scant minutes before dawn's early light
burning sensation within deep
tracts of throat did creep,
yours truly immediately awoke
with a start, at strong violent
urge to upheap
(upchuck, toss my cookies, regurgitate...)
insync on par to set Guiness Book
of world records to leap
analogous to lemur

at lightspeed into bathroom,
(these lovely bones
ne'er made jaunt to water closet
but collapsed in a heap -
injuring right hand in the process)
nevertheless, I made little
on the contrary no bowed peep,
but immediately stood
bolt upright stock still
after crumbling to the floor
tear ducts activated eyes
as if ready to weep.

Sadness less pervasive than fright
since reverse peristalsis uncommon
within mine body electric regarding plight,
which analogous volcanic eruption
albeit bubbling magmatic flow slight
retroperistalsis or antiperistalsis
found yours truly
on par with fire breathing dragon argh
ga you ably momentarily nonplussed -
while dry cough minus gushing lava
gratefully only smoldered before simmering

upper gastrointestinal lining
courtesy mouthfuls of bottled water
allowed, enabled, and provided satiation
sudden unquenchable thirst relieved
resultant unpleasant aftertaste (no pun
intended), yet distilling humor helps
me weather, manage, cope... with
unexpected physiological fiery phenomena
- shot straight up within digest
heave tract, and did lament this rick
kitty packet of muscle and bone aft

times susceptible to disheartening
woebegone news afflicting this non
Norwegian bachelor farmer, whom
if the missus cooking triggered bout
unleashing bit torrent of unsavory
plate tectonics, perhaps indicative
of continental drift shrunk down to
miniature, (think nanobot size)
where fault in thee stars
must be held in contempt of court.

No reason for inclusion of above verse,
(previous ten lines), I just wanted
to incorporate said phrases, tip peer
me got some legal lear'n, when truth
Philly admits he seems to know less,
the more he learns, which prompts me to

posit emphatically that ignorance
equivalent to bliss, thus presenting
quandary how kin this pronouncedly
reasonably intelligent garden variety
**** sapiens unfetter himself with

cumulative knowledge without reek
horse (neigh) to invasive surgery such as...
prefrontal lobotomy, or tamping down
smarts some unknown cyber surfer(s)
could easily misconstrue as vainness,
smugness, quintessential pomposity?

— The End —