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Alyssa Underwood Apr 2017
Might there be a fountain
where souls long dead from thirst
find spirits raised to life in floods abounding free,
so that what once walked as corpse,
night-bound and blind, may see?
Old self exchanged for Treasure,
diving in tastes such rejuvenation
as can't be weighed by mortal measure—
wine unlike our earth-grown fruit whose petals fall,
from this Vine flowers the pleasantness of Love Divine
which bathes in healing waters all
who come as humble newborn with bold **** to dine.
"Jesus answered, 'Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.'"  John 4:13-14

"Then Jesus declared, 'I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me will never go hungry, and he who believes in Me will never be thirsty.'"  John 6:35

"On the last and greatest day of the Feast, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, 'If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink. Whoever believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.'"  John 7:37-38

"'I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing.'"  John 15:5

~~~

Structure inspired by a poem from the journal of Jim Elliot
You keep saying everything's fine,
But honestly, I don't believe you.

I've been betrayed over and over again,
And set aside by those whom I thought friends.
I've been judged for being me;
and for wanting company.
I've changed my ways and habits to be to their likeness. They, in turn, spit in my face.

I've been forgotten by those whom I thought of as equals, as true friends, maybe even family.
And yet I'm here thinking about those who have wronged me, asking myself what I did to deserve this.

I've been declared guilty, guilty by association. Bound to be forgotten and never spoken to.

And all of this because I was innocently honest about one tiny thing,
That turned out to be massive in the eyes of mummy's boy.
andromeda green Aug 2018
happiness occurs to me in little chunks now.
the tiny things in life are giving me a smile.
a long text message from a friend to cheer me up.
having a good day.
feeling happy.
genuine, real, smiles.

i can't help but feel so guilty when i'm happy.
like all my pain and suffering is being replaced with a fake smile
i try to say no.
that i can be happy while i'm sad.
but i still feel guilty
for feeling this way.

- a.g.
Lizzy Apr 2015
So now I'm alone again,
Wishing we were more than friends.
You made me feel wanted,
With you I was home.
Now I'm begging you please,
Don't go.
I'm not good on my own.

This blindside,
It's knocked me off my feet.
You feel guilty,
I feel dead.
I never should have showed you,
What goes on in my head.
Dear god what's wrong with me?

What is it,
That makes everyone leave?
Is it the way that I look?
Do I talk in my sleep?
You say it's not me,
But I'm the one you're leaving.
We're crying in my room,
My cries have turned to screams.

So now I'm alone again,
Wishing this would end.
Torn between running back,
And never seeing you again.
How do you take back,
All those things you said?
You feel guilty,
I feel dead.

This is what's inside my head.
You feel guilty,
I feel dead.
This is gonna be one angsty Pop punk song
Lizzy Apr 2014
I'm very tired
And it's very late at night
My thoughts keep me up
It's getting harder to fight

I think about my failures
And everything I've done wrong
How I **** everything up
It's all a familiar song

My words are getting literal
I can't disguise my guilt
The hatred for myself
In every direction it's built

Well rhyming gets so hard
When I try to write my mind
Because I'm unable to find the words
That could shed light

Even without a rhyme or a rhythm I find it hard to articulate these dangerous thoughts I have. As many writers do, we have this sense of frustration because no combination of syllables can really portray the emptiness and sadness that lives in us. Styron called it "melancholia", but not even that will suffice.
Mr Quiet Sep 2018
Waking up,
To just feel all the regrets in my head,
I didn't know where it lead,
Now I'm waiting for the world to end.

Seeing you,
And all the things we used to do.
And remembering what I did to you.
I caused this and now I'm seeing you,
With somebody new.

It's all my fault,
I hurt you and I broke your trust,
We shared our souls and I ripped it apart,
We promised we'd make it and now here we are.
Here we are.

I'm dancing in the darkness to distract my pain and sadness,
And you're probably in your room,
Crying and hoping it'll all end soon.
Oh how I was so stupid and I could've done something,
To prevent all of this from happening,
Now I'm just lying down in silence.
Wishing to travel back in time and make everything alright,
And I know it's just a fantasy but I'd rather dream than waking up and feeling this guilt inside.
This guilt inside.
I broke your heart and now you're feeling "fine".
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I don't want you to cry.
i never thought thought i'd break her heart and now i hate myself more than anybody else.
BL Jul 2018
Nobody helped him as he struggled
Their eyes watched as he tried to insert the card
He wore his clothes with dignity
But what they saw was someone poor and lowly

Beads of sweat started to form on his forehead
The line behind him started to grow longer than before
Judgement met his gaze
While the security officer just stood there with laze

“What’s happening” they ask indirectly
He turned around to seek for assistance
But the crowd’s eyes ignored his plea
For the man who asked for help looked *****

What has become of the society?
What happened to everyone’s compassion and sincerity?
But then again,
Who am I to ask such words about  kindness?
When I too, was guilty as charged,
For I didn’t help the man when he struggled with his card






© 2018 B.L.
All Rights Reserved.
I would love to hear your opinions about this poem.
K Balachandran Jul 2014
There is a forbidden pleasure in the poet's art
it's like having an illicit ****** liaison, is it not?
now it can be told, that's the way one felt
enticing while evasive, was her two way dance.

In the secret society meeting last full moon night
for the first time I came face to face
with the enigmatic girl, rumored to be  the mistress
of the poet I admire, for his skills of allusion and  veiled speech
she was so young and somnambulistic in appearance
her lips were so thin, the only remarkable thing
still in memory those pale lips remain,
how helpless we are in a world, curtained off
to keep our secrets in rooms of green darkness!

The poet was absent, but he was very much present by that,
as her shame intrudes when she starts conversations.I found him there.
The words whispered from her lips were not heard, however one tried
none listened to it, I bet, a poet's mistress is as curious
as an  object of art, stolen from its rightful place, I suppose

When the boat returned to the island to take us back
we were the only passengers left, at last, how strange!
In turgid waters a fallen full  moon like a snake swam
I was looking at its wriggle, creating a tragic geometry
that reminded me her thin lips, she sat next to me, motionless
her soft breathing, was rhythmic poetry I kept imagining,
till we parted exchanging a faint smile. her's was florescent.
So much is hidden about the art of creativity and from where it springs
julianna May 2018
What would you do if you saw a girl spending pennies and pearls on food?
She gobbles it up and then she barfs, which she thinks makes her feel good.
Later that night, with her conscious she'll fight as the guilt eats her for lunch
But she'll never tell of the story where of she went to after brunch.
Nicole Ashley Apr 2015
I'll pretend for the next few weeks
That life will be splendid
That I don't feel guilty about myself

And how I feel like I dragged you with me

And how I broke myself into shards
To leave this decoy with you
*While I bury the rest in the sand
AnxiousOcean Apr 2017
I am innocent.

I swear I'm not responsible
for any damage she's had.
I swear I'm not the reason
of her tears at night.
And I swear it's none of my intentions
to hurt and give her fright.

I am guilty.

I'm guilty for being weak.
I'm guilty for being a kid.
Guilty for committing a mistake.
I am guilty for the actions I make.

Misdemeanor; a ******.
I slaughtered the feelings
we had for each other.

Love is a crime
yet, I am afraid
of committing it again.
Dead lover Feb 2016
I must admit as well as appreciate,
I have the best father, my good fate.

All along, I had been wrong,
I have been cranky, stupid and ignorant
Yet you were there to make me strong,
And make my incoherent thoughts coherent.

Sorry for my mistake that I did make,
I'll correct it all, For your kindness's sake...
I promise to improve exponentially,
I feel high potentially...
To connect with etiquette,
That I thought you lacked initially..

But you are my dad,
You were meant to win finally
But I promise I would change,
And win this game, eventually
it's too bad love
got mixed up
with pain

because it's
the only thing
that can heal it
in a holy instant
Jme Love Jul 2018
Only i am to blame.I carry with me this heavy burden of self pity and shame.
I took time for granted always thinking I had enough.Wasting it,losing it,always in a rush.
Never did i realize what was passing me by.All those memories that should have been disappeared in the blink of an eye.
The time I wasted is no longer around.The time i lost can longer be found.
I sit and I dwell.My thoughts are proof im living in my own personal hell.
Only I am to blame.I wasnt there and everything changed.
I missed all those special moments in time.Now im sure im the furthest thing from your mind.
It breaks my heart.Please have no doubt it tears me up inside and out.
Only I am to blame.Im the one that left and nothing was ever the same.
I hope you know you are always on my mind.If time would allow I would surely press rewind.
Time was no friend to me you see.I took it for granted now its left me empty.
There is one thing tho that can not be taken by time.Its the bond between your heart and mine.
Please remember no matter how much time we lose,You will forever be a part of my heart and i will always love you.
mothers day 2018.a letter to my 3 children
It was February on a Tuesday
There was pizza in the break room
I kept my distance behind you
Before realizing there was more than food to consume
You turned around and saw me
You nudged me over saying “get in here”
I guess I never saw you like that before
I was stunned as it all became so clear
I think we had a moment
As you looked me in the eyes
While I drowned there in your ocean
I was feeling so surprised
I think you experienced that with me
Because things started to change
You came around more often
I couldn’t stop thinking your name
I was unsure if it was mutual
Then you walked right through the door
And I think we froze in another moment
That left me wanting more
One day I took the elevator
You went to take the stairs
Then you saw where I was going
And you followed me in there
We stood there in silence
I kept looking at you
Then you broke it with conversation
Of things I already knew
You told me you went on a company trip
I saw you leave that day
You briefly talked about it
And I told you I’d be at the one in May
Things were so simple then
At least I wanted them to be
I don’t think that you knew
But I was getting married
Then one day your demeanor changed
I thought that maybe you knew
And days later my telephone rang
And it was a personal call for you
They were following up on paperwork
For you and for your wife
I shook to those words
As it pierced me like a knife
I had to call you
You must have seen the caller ID
Because your voice stuttered when you answered
But I tried to stay as composed as I could be
I transferred you the call
Then I sat there in confusion
I never looked for a ring
Was all of this just an illusion
I questioned my engagement
But you’re already committed
To the girl you promised a future
I just need to stay acquitted
I couldn’t sleep at night
I was tossing and I was turning
While I laid there next to him
But I knew my heart was yearning
I didn’t know how to react
Was this an indication that my feet were cold
Or was I carrying around this guilt
Because my relationship grew old
I didn’t know how to be around you
When we’d pass we’d look away
The flame was turning frigid
Everytime we unintentionally met in the hallway
I tried to let this fade out
I wanted to find an end
But I’d see you around in passing
And this situation was too much to comprehend
Maybe I wanted more
I don’t know what I was thinking
These feelings kept adding up
With thoughts of interlinking
You’d ignore me some days
And act friendly the rest
And the more this went on
The more I suppressed
I wanted to know everything
But I couldn’t find you
You had no presence online
Of things you were tied to
But I did find one thing
A band you were in
So I went through your music
And played “Mission Accomplished” again
That was all I could find
And I left it that way
As we continued in awkward encounters
That moved along the days
As months began to pass
These feelings remained
But no words left our lips
And no feelings explained
Then the inevitable happened
You took a vacation
I thought I could move on
If there was no temptation
But that’s not how it worked
You remained on my mind
With all these things I presumed
That had been left undefined
When you walked back through the doors
I didn’t know what to do
I lost all control
I was not ready to see you
Then came our work party
We were at the end of the year
When you walked in with your wife
I wanted to disappear
I drowned myself in a drink
Or maybe it was more
And when my fiancé left halfway through
I felt nothing but deplore
I couldn’t stop drinking
I’d never seen your wife
But I was facing you
And lost in my own strife
Later I stumbled towards your table
And I saw that you were gone
I was a drunk mess
Who needed to move on
Then it happened again
You went on vacation
And I found something else
To focus my fixation
But it was gone simultaneously
With when you returned
I just couldn’t escape you
Why hadn’t I learned
But this time felt different
You wanted to talk to me
But our conversation had a cost
That we both could foresee
And we both knew the price
Which is perhaps why you changed
Because you went back to ignoring me
I felt so deranged
And here we are now
We’re one year through
Now I’ve written my story
What should I do?
02/01/2018
sara Apr 7
My footsteps are too loud,
they shout.
Maybe I should keep my voice down;
head, down.
Yet, frown
kept up
the right way round.

No wonder I feel upside-down.
Don’tbeatyourselfupoveryourmistakes,
we all learning.

P.s. didn’t realise that some people I know actually read this so shout out if that’s you x
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