Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Benji James Feb 2018
I'm here in Brisbane city
There are people passing by
I'm staring at the ceiling
I'm getting high on the drugs
Need another cigarette
to calm my nerves
The girls are putting on a show
here in Brisbane city
silhouettes of innocence
portrayed in plays on Broadway
there is so much left for me to say

These dead-end streets
are leading nowhere
Familiar faces in far-off places
My imagination
keeps on creating situations
that's no good for me
I'm supposed to be carefree
But lately, I haven't felt the same
as I used to be.

I want to create a memory
here is Brisbane city
I dialled your number
into my phone
I know you've been hanging on my call
you're a girl with attitude
There are so many things
I want to do with you
here in Brisbane city
Nothing comes easy
I'm learning to survive
with every minute I wait
and every breath I take
I know there's a better way

These dead-end streets
are leading nowhere
Familiar faces in far-off places
My imagination
keeps on creating situations
that's no good for me
I'm supposed to be carefree
But lately, I haven't felt the same
as I used to be.

I want to bear the mark of you
You can see the part of me
hidden under my tattoos
it ain't a pretty sight
when I breakdown (alright)
I didn't want you to see me cry
here in Brisbane city
There are so many things in this world
You've learned a million signs
about reading between the lines
and every time I looked into her eyes
I didn't think to see the signs
that you needed me in your life (alright)

These dead-end streets
are leading nowhere
Familiar faces in far-off places
My imagination
keeps on creating situations
that's no good for me
I'm supposed to be carefree
But lately, I haven't felt the same
as I used to be.

Now I'm sitting in an empty house
in Brisbane city
And I know where I went wrong
But I can't stand this feeling
of being alone (alone)
I can't stand this feeling
of being alone
And I know where I went wrong
But I'm sick of being alone
And I won't move on
You shouldn't leave me on my own
here in Brisbane city
Cakk you up to come around
so I'm not alone in this empty house
in Brisbane city

These dead-end streets
are leading nowhere
Familiar faces in far-off places
My imagination
keeps on creating situations
that's no good for me
I'm supposed to be carefree
But lately, I haven't felt the same
as I used to be.

The spotlight comes on
As I start singing into this microphone
The crowd starts to go wild
I'm drunk
Here in Brisbane city
and girl your wrong for all the right reasons
nobody has to be alone tonight
Because I need you all in my life
here in Brisbane city
Everyone starts singing along with me
here in Brisbane city
silhouettes of innocence
portrayed in plays on Broadway
there is nothing left for me to say
In Brisbane city
Here in Brisbane city

©2018 Written By Benji James
Robbie carter wanted to drive hid Australian car from Australia to the USA so he can watch a Broadway but there was no way he could do that and every time
He suggested it to his mates they just laughed at him but Robbie came up with a good idea, you see he will raise funds to build a tunnel under the ocean linking Australia with the USA and also to keep him relaxed he would build a few towns under the ocean As well
You see Robbie wanted this so bad, but both countries governments didn't like the idea
Because the distance was too far and the water will cave in to the tunnel but then both countries changed government and suddenly Robbies dream became a reality, you see the will open the tunnel from the Aussie end at Brisbane and then open the other end at Florida and they will build 45,000 towns under the water
With motels and restaurants and houses and truck stops
As well as an underwater version of Ayers Rock  And to makes sure it was good to go
Robbie helped designing this under ocean adventure from Brisbane to Florida with towns
Which were just like the towns on earth and they intended on building a Broadway stage where they will play all the latest musicals they were playing in New York and this could make the journey a pleasurable one for each patron who starts the trip and in about the first 4 months they had 60% of the new world completed and Robbie was asked to inspect the area and this meant checking the area and then imagining how the world would function under the ocean and what he noticed they   Built a shopping street on the first street with a fun park on the first turn and then a Broadway musical theatre a few blocks down and Robbie took one look and said this is fantastic and then went further on and saw a very big under ocean shopping mall and Robbie was impressed in how
Each area of the under water towns is going to look and then Robbie went back to Brisbane and in about 5 more months
The entire under ocean tunnel and towns were completed but they couldn't open the tunnel at either end unroll Robbie and the safety inspector have checked it out and originally it was made so you could drive from Australia to America but they had coaches and trains and yeah this was looking great
And the under ocean Ayers Rock looked fantastic and the Broadway musical theatre looked great as well and the roads were as dry as a bone
Despite being under the ocean
And the fun park and each shopping mall were really looking great as well  and Robbie was very impressed with how his town under the ocean really looked and it has a few town parks where the kids can play and mind you it can make you wanna leave your life above ground and make you wanna live here and Robbie left getting ready for the big grand opening where the first car is going to drive right from Brisbane to Florida stopping at every truck stop and restaurant and take away along the way and Robbie will ride the first motor bike under the ocean from Brisbane to Florida and this was going to take 7 months to complete and then the under ocean world will officially be opened and Robbie pulled his bike over at the broad way theatre to catch a show and then rode his motorbike up and down the Main Street of each town and also rode his motor bike up Ayers Rock and down the other side and it wasn't as big as the rock in the centre of Australia but still was a great climb and rode into the fun park
And the zoo and took a photo of the monkeys and the rabbits
And then rode off to the motor bike through the truck stops and parks and rode through each city and then arrived in
Florida and as he entered the crowd cheered for Robbie as he reentered the top of the earth
And then all the people started driving under the ocean to start
A new life beneath the earth's surface and there will be cost that each driver in Brisbane and Florida has to pay so the under ocean village can be safe from poachers and bad people
You see you have to have a reason as simple as you are driving to the USA will cost $700 and visiting the under ocean town will cost $650 just so the village can be safe from predators you the $650 will give you a red ticket so you have the right to every shop and motel in the village and the $700 will give you a red and white ticket giving you the access to visit the shops and truck stops and letting you out the other end, and there is a $1000 fee for cars with caravans to visit every part of the village and allowed out to both ends of the countries Australia and the USA and Robbie carter was very impressed on how this village is going and Robbie made a once a year thing to go down to the village to catch a show on Broadway and then had a meal in a classy under ocean restaurant and yeah this was a success
Lysander Gray Nov 2011
There's something tragic about Brisbane; the city speaks of an older more Romantic time, though the people speak of a newer, modern; more disposable age. It seemingly looks at you with a lost lovers eyes.

Though the city still retains some of its antique glamour; take a stroll down any street in the center and around you will be found the remnants of that age.
Victorian Red-bricks dot the city like proud sentinels, keeping watch over the ever expanding invasion of its contemporary neighbours.
What tales would these monolithic madmen tell is if only we had the ears to listen, who's feet did once trample up the now year-stained wooden stairs, who lived and died and loved and uttered curses and birthed within those walls...and what tales would they have to tell if we only listened?

Ah, gentle reader, you see how your mind wanders at the mention of these thoughts?
The City certainly has its landmarks: the Clock tower of Town Hall, over looking the new modern space of "The Deck" in King George Square, the facade of Grand central station still retaining its grandeur and majesty; now turned into theme bars and a nightclub strip. The old houses littering West End and the strip of red bricks running like a sepia toned river up Elizabeth Street. And of course the dotted remnants of Old City Life being ever encroached upon in the center of the City's smoke filled heart.

The most curious of these is the impression wrought in plaster and cement, white over red, of a window in the city center, with a set of stairs leading up to a place that no longer exists; 50 feet in the air.
Whenever I gaze up at that window, that reminder of the past, I cannot help but wondre who would be staring down at us, on this date in the last century.

"Suffer them not" I wish to say, "for these people are of a different age, with different Gods and values than you."

Suffer them not, ignore their slings, suffer them not.

I love Brisbane.

It's mish-mash of centuries, its people, the tales of its unwritten past, it seems as if the city exudes both a sense of joy and one of unutterable melancholy.

I'm on the train, homebound now to my modern house in the ultra-modern Gold Coast. This is quite depressing. The freedom, the movement, the chance, the ebb and flow of the people soaked tide of the city is leaving fast behind me as this electric trap with seats barrels under facades and tunnels, with enormous neon snakes glittering down from the peaks of modern and ancient towers and we find them reflected in the winding river like innumerable fireflies...dying and twisting and being reborn in the soft moonlight.

South Brisbane Station.
An immortal Victorian construct, still surviving to this day. The same architecture, the same route...different paint though. This Industrial Relic is overlooked by the shining modern whirlpool of THE EYE, a gigantic Ferris wheel giving you the chance to see the city by air, to one side; and a multicoloured, four story glowing monument to the hairdresser franchise god Stefan on the other...which I dub "Stefan's Pintle".

It's garish as hell.

Passing through the night the train goes ever on, powered incessantly by the ticket payers seemingly endless dollar supply.

There's a strange transition from City to Coast, the outerlying towns left in the dust and wake of one and unsure whether they belong to the other. Places such as Kuraby, Banoon, Runcorn, Altandi, Logan and Eden's Landing.

Yet the train ponders on into the night, as it's denizens relinquish themselves to its discretion and desires.
Yes; the train ponders on into the night...

We slowly pass through Woodridge, one of those last bastions of civilisation, neither here nor there. A glittering town trying desperately to be a city. They have a McDonalds. Yay. These places always scare me, and confuse me.
What are they like? Their people? I guess I'll never know, i've never stayed in one long enough to realize.

Welcome to Loganlea, this is a strange place...the funniest thing about it is the fact that it IS a hole. Yet the sign into it shows a shining beach with palm trees and boldly proclaims "WELCOME TO LOGANLEA".
As you draw closer you realize it's pock marked with bullet holes and rust stains.

A train whizzes past, and we find ourselves reflected in its windows, our reality traveling one way; our ghosts another.
Into the long, pale night, coloured by the stars of a thousand distant streetlights. Like a million tiny man made suns; created to fend of the darkness and keep our fears at bay. We truely live in the age of endless day.

The melancholy of the city is far behind now, it's streets, its smells, its people all gone. As we are lost in the brightness of the endless day and the night grows ever long, touching those distant, far between places with its natural, velvet splendour, running its hand down the cheek of time. For there will always be a night, even when we create days, and the city will always be melancholy, and the coast will always be a glittering sequin on the dress of a cheap, soulless *****.

I love Brisbane.
Lysander Gray May 2013
Treasury  Casino - 2:30 am

From my seat in the smokers section
I can see the Brisbane eye,
the river,
and the  performing arts center.
Streetlights  are mans answer  to the cosmos

"Everything you can do,
I can make better."

Once it was said that we were made in God's image.
Now we can safely say that God was  made in our image.

I am in a quiet place of the universe, the night stretches on
visible through the stately
wonderous
walls
carved of old wood  and sandstone.

I am in a suede armchair, winged for pleasure.
The ceiling in this room is twice as high as an ordinary room.
Circular steel ***** hang down like a path of bubbles
left  by a leviathan.

My water was poured  with panache.

Let me set  the scene for you:
I'm in the  Treasury Casino, this building was once the QLD state treasury, it never changed really.
Sitting next to  window that overlooks the river, a glass of water sits to my left. The room is the size of a double garage, maybe bigger. The floor and ceilings are made of old wood, the walls are decorated with a transparent gray fabric that remindsme of smoke. An old marble fireplace sits in a wall studded with tiny lights that resemble stars or candles. Above me is a series of hanging circular light fixtures that resemble a trail of bubbles left by a leviathan.

This room was designed for,  and houses opulence.  
The TV plays Eminem.

Peter Garrett dances like a Parkinson's sufferer.
And looks like Disco-Nosferatu.

We have  killed the night
and neon power
and infomercials
**** the romance
once held
by late night solitude.
I was trapped in Brisbane one evening from 'round midnight till 6am and kept a journal of my experiences, thoughts and rambles of the night in a stream of consciousness style.

Part 1: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/brisbane-street-sketch-1/
Part 3: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/brisbane-street-sketch-3/
Part 4: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/brisbane-street-sketch-4/
Part 5: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/brisbane-street-sketch-5/
Lysander Gray May 2013
Treasury Casino, 3:03 am. Monday morning.

Casino bars shut at  3:00 am in QLD.


I missed a place to sleep by 9 minutes.
My timing is impeccable.

2 hours to **** until the last train home.

An older man in a slate suit enters stage right.
Crosses.
Disappears.
Reenters stage left with  brass buttons
lit up like embers.

The 9 network wants me to buy
stonedine frying pans.
And warns me about harmful gasses that have killed household budgies.

I wish I was more interesting.

You havent lived
until you've seen a man blow a pancake
off a frying pan.
Onto a plate.

----

3:12 am.

Late night bar personnel work in silence
cleaning beer nozzles and coffee machines.
They wander in and out of the scene under sophisticated lighting.

I wonder what to do about you, and what I'm feeling.
What our  hold on each other is and when (if) the sword of Damocles will fall.
Is this truly tragedy to which we are destined?
I shudder to think.
And for this am I classed by the title
"coward"
or
"lover"?

----

3:20 am - Existentialism strikes a vicious blow. No coup de grace.

The blackjack dealer on the $15  table has a gorgeous face that makes me wonder how her body feels on a post ****** morning. Satisfied and relaxed, taut through anticipation of further pleasure?
Straight raven tresses frame a heart shaped face that peers over the ridge of a white collared shirt, sprouting from beneath a black vest, tight at the elbows.
She deals with deft machine-gun efficiency. Not all bullets hit their mark here.

Her back curves with natural elegance down to a tight, young ***. The shape of  it magnified by the black business pants writes itself as a factory on my mind. Light hands would fit well there, one on each cheek, her mouth open seductively, trading  tastes and sensations.

There is a dying rose in my lapel.
It's sad.
I contemplate leaving it somewhere poetic but  cant think of a place.
The thorns are still sharp.

----

3:45 am

The only place where time is invincible
is a place  where it is hidden.
Casino's are such a place.
Here time cannot be killed.
Yet I have smuggled it in.
I was trapped in Brisbane one evening from 'round midnight till 6am and kept a journal of my experiences, thoughts and rambles of the night in a stream of consciousness style.

Part 1: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/brisbane-street-sketch-1/
Part 2: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/brisbane-street-sketch-2/
Part 4: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/brisbane-street-sketch-4/
Part 5: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/brisbane-street-sketch-5/
Lysander Gray May 2013
5:00 am - Happy New Year!

I look like I should be a musician not a poet.

"It's so easy being a poet
so hard being a man"
      - Charles Bukowski

----

5:14 am - Passing Rocklea, no sign of the dawn.

Coopers Plains station.
3 people get on.

Florescent lights cast a spell of sleep.
I wish I could sleep right now.
Eyelids droop like sad flowers  from a convenience store.
I write metaphors like a drunken amateur.

Trinder park - Sounds like a bad neighbourhood.
**** ME ITS WOODRIDGE.

Where even the McDonalds sign is ******.

XxXxxxxxx, Xxxxxx Xxxxxx :
She could be fun. So tight, she sometimes felt  illegal.
Tight and bald. I would slide up to the *****.
She loved it rough,
golden hair wrapped around my fingers
as she was pushed into the pillow.
She was loud in the mornings.
I could feel her tight ***
grinding against my thighs
as I ****** her harder  and harder.
Until I came :
either inside her.
Or on her chest.
Or in her
prim
pink
suburban mouth.
Tightening my grip on her hair as the hot ***** spurted against the back of  her throat.
The head of my ****, throbbing as she  gulped it down with silent satisfaction.
That only happened twice though.

----

5:37 am - The Dawn begins to rise over the Suburban Nation.

Final remnants of night
twinkle like stars
against the silhouette
of society.
House lights
Street lights
(and the omnipresent)
fluorescent light.

Beenleigh station - A pinch faced older woman gets on.
Business suit, lunch box.
Short hair, glasses.
Her earrings are imitation mother of pearl
(step-mother of pearl?)
She  sits next to a window covered in graffiti.
Prim, tight  mouth
incarnadine lipstick.

Over in the distance a smokestack cuts through the sky above the horizon.
Trees do mask the sun and sky.

"Hippies; they spend their whole life trying  to get to a microphone and when they do, they don't tell anyone  to *******." - The Wolfman.

----

5:52 am - One more stop.

The clouds  are the colour of smoke against the pearl blue sky.

----

6:00 am - Arrival.

Clouds are tinged with fire and blood
incandescently.
You can watch it spread and grow
with intensity.

Taxi driver  was  a foul mouthed Indian.
I was trapped in Brisbane one evening from 'round midnight till 6am and kept a journal of my experiences, thoughts and rambles of the night in a stream of consciousness style.

Part 1: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/brisbane-street-sketch-1/
Part 2: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/brisbane-street-sketch-2/
Part 3: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/brisbane-street-sketch-3/
Part 4: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/brisbane-street-sketch-4/
Brisbane bowling trip day 4

Today i had a fun day in Brisbane
Started off having a late breakfast
At 7-30 and then I went to my room
To clean my teeth and watch a bit of Ted Danson’s Becker
And then I went to the lobby to wait with the others
And the hotel people wanted to take our photo in the car park
And then we all hopped in the bus and off to the bowling alley
And it was a fun ride, and we got there
And I ran in straight in to get my ball and shoes
Mind you I do find it fun with the alley ***** and shoes
I don’t have to carry it with me
And then I started to bowl, I was on the same lane as graham
From Queensland who bowled 177 and 179 and 124
And I bowled 144 and 121 and 122; the scores were
****** better than yesterday and I sent some of those pins packing
And when I finished I went over to have lunch which
Consisted of a Mexican nachos which took 40 minutes to be ready
Which was a ****** long time mate, I tell ya I tell ya I tell ya
And after I watched my fellow team mates we went home
And we all gathered in the lobby to see which people
Want to go shopping and which people didn’t want to go
And I chose to go, to the shop, and when we got to the shops
I went with Mark and Belinda and Paul and Vince and myself
We went to a gift shop, I bought a Brisbane cap and a book called
101 cool.hair raising HORRORS which is a no.1 best selling series
And then we stopped off at rebel sport and I bought a Anaheim mighty ducks beanie and then we had dinner, I had fish and chips and a pineapple juice and we all had to each pay $56 each even if I didn’t
Pay that much, I felt like Becker in the dinner and a showdown episode
I only should’ve paid $30, I should get reimbursed for that, what a ******
And then I took photos of Brisbane city and we all walked home
Some people worried that my leg was too swollen
But I know I could walk, I might be fat I might be fat but I still can walk fast
And then we picked up our washing and went into our room
And silly old me, forgot to bring my hotel room key with me
Thant Christ, I didn’t lose it
And after I walked I had a drink of water, watched footy and went to bed
Lysander Gray May 2013
The silent street erupted around me the moment I sat down,
a thunder rumbles in the distance
but only reveals a passing truck.

The white swan drifts past
without elegance.

I watch the youths drive by on fish lane
as the silent score of stoplights
play to an impersonal audience-
tonight the pizzicato is on time.

----

The air is dense with quiet conversation
of nighthawks
and the splash  of luck
on a steel  tray.

Elegant servants of style remove the unwanted things.

12:30
The air has cleared,
alone again
with two fat asians.

When did boring become stylish?

GET ME OUT  OF HERE!!

"It is truly a free nation that offers pancakes 24/7"

----

Normally, the solitude of wandering a sleeping city would elicit poetry.
Tonight only nothing comes out.

Not the people nor the smells or secret music. Only the flicker  of a dying neon sun assuring me,
that the parking is open.

----

1:00 am.

A woman in a pink burkha enters a white car, only to be driven off into the night, followed by two taxis.

There are ancient trees twisting their tops through the modern facade. For eras, much like fashion are discarded by finicky time.

They have stood as silent sentinels for longer than I have breathed, and with any hope, they will stand as soldiers long after I  come to pass. These reminders of the ravages of time.

I loved a girl who lived  here once.
She lived in an apartment that overlooked the city
and had  ******* like two soft moons
that tasted like honey.

1:40 am.

Other nighthawks wander as wastrels through the quiet Autumn night,
with a slow, soft  gait one never see's in the rush of day.
If all evenings carried a beat, it would be thus:
a slow jazz drum.

"...psssssh-bop! pssssh-bop! pssssh-bop!...."
would sound the echo of every evening heart
throbbing slow with power.
"...psssssh-bop! pssssh-bop!..."

The car's carry  white  blood cells to  the  suburban arteries.
Taxi's are cancer.

I walk
northbound.

----

Cold beer at 2am.

Faintly lit menagerie
an open cage containing
nighthawks.

Well spoken Eastern girls
corporate white boys
two old tradesmen,
one on a smartphone with a rosary around his soft large neck.
The antique street curves away toward the river,
sloping up
then down
I follow it with my eyes.


And run them back
to the fairylights.
They hang like glowworms
or constellations.

Glowworms hang like constellations, the inside of their cave  is the same fleeting feeling of being alone with the universe, it being caressed by your eyes.
For you are its lover and its mirror.
Inside the glowworm cave, I felt like the universe and everything reflected  itself in miniature. That to look upon their hanging, blue stars you saw everything else.
I was trapped in Brisbane one evening from 'round midnight till 6am and kept a journal of my experiences, thoughts and rambles of the night in a stream of consciousness style.

Part 2: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/brisbane-street-sketch-2/
Part 3: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/brisbane-street-sketch-3/
Part 4: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/brisbane-street-sketch-4/
Part 5: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/brisbane-street-sketch-5/
****** it is the Brisbane bowling trip day 9

Today we went to Australia zoo
We all were given yummy treats to eat there
Some people walked around in groups
And others like me chose walking around the zoo single handed
We saw crocodiles and and tortoises and dingoes
And 1 dingo jumped up when I was taking his photograph
While the other dingo just lied there relaxing in the hot sun
And I saw some wallabies and kangaroos
Walking around us, and I walked around the cute koalas
Got some photos, because my iPhone doesn’t have a flash
And then I walked up amongst a sleeping snake
And a sleeping tiger, really awesome😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
And then I walked around to the zebras and giraffes
They were totally radical dude
Then I walked back to the crocaseum to see the show
Fun animal sounds and one guy lifted his arms out
And caught the bird, once in just one hand
And then it was two hands, awesome 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃
And then they brought more birds as well as a snake
And Robert Irwin and his brother in law, chandler
Came out to have a play with a crocodile
Which I put on my YouTube channel (Aaron clayton)
Santa in top hat photo, it already shared 10 views AWESOME
It was the most fun I have ever had
Then as I went out of the crocoseum
I bought a rainbow ice cream in a cup
It was scrummy, and I bought a cuddly crocodile
With Steve Irwin’s autograph on it, cool
Then I bought a wildlife warrior cap
As well as a few fridge magnets of koalas and the Irwin’s
Then I walked around to other koala tree
And one of the koalas had a little baby with her
Hooooooooowwwwww. Cccccccuuuuuuutttttttteeeeeee❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
And then I saw a tortoise and an echidna
And many more, after that I bought a rock Lea road chocolate
And we got in the bus to go back to Brisbane
And when we got back to the pacific hotel
We had a shower and went to the 10 th floor
For a pizza night, and some garlic bread
Which was also scrummy
And I took many photos of the view of Brisbane from up there
And I am putting them on my Brian Allan Facebook page
And Brian Allan 6 Instagram page
And after the pizza was eaten up
We went around the table to hear people’s best moments
Of the trip and today
Like it’s the donnellys YouTube page saying
‘What made you happy today’
It was fun listening to everyone saying happy things
About the trip and then after that, I went home
Do my things and off to bed ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️😁😁
The **** kids gaol



Once upon a time there was this kid named Brian Mandler who was 14 years

Of age and was sort of obsessed with figuring out a way to catch and reform

Really dangerous criminals.   When he explained how he’ll do it to his family,

They told him that they don’t want to hear it and they all leave the room and

Brian went to his room and got onto his computer and started to track

Down some dangerous criminals and as well as that he will watch Australia’s

Most wanted and unsolved mysteries to make sure he is up to date with the

Goings on and when he catches them he will give them a pill which puts

Them to sleep and it makes them dream that they are on TV and Brian

Can watch it to keep him informed on their goings on.

When he saw the first criminal who was named David Perton Brown who

Was a real evil child snatcher who loves to pray on vonerable kids who

Haven’t got good lives as well as robbing them  and leaving them to die

and then he’ll do about 180 on the freeway trying to **** families

On their way to their holiday destination and quite often he succeeded but

This time Brian got onto his computer and said that he wants to get David

And put him on a early morning childrens show called the Saturday Morning

Cartoon hour where he’ll meet people left, right and centre and most of those

People will be children and he’ll have guests who will give him heaps for the

Crimes that he did and also he’ll have a visit from the police every 4 Saturdays

To really check up on him but he had to make the kids unaware by posing to

Make sure that kid’s say no to drugs and lifts with strangers and that meant

That the host could try something outside.

As well as that Brian put him on a nightly music show because some of his

Victims are now teenagers who like music and Brian made him the sort of

Host that will constantly goof up a lot.  The program was called The Talent

Quest and he’ll be teamed up with 2 police officers who are making sure there

Is no funny stuff going on.

Brian planned to keep him in his little gaol for a long time till he starts to settle

Down a bit.

The next criminal is Joshua Tartwright who is a vicious modern day pirate who

Takes adults over 40 and holds them captive in his little boat and he has been

Doing this for about 12 years and Brian got onto his computer and told it

That he wants Joshua to on the pirates of the Carribean TV series and keep him there till he realises that he is no match for those pirates

And he doesn’t feel like kidnapping them anymore but this was hard to get him

To take the drug and Brian had to get to rough police officers to hold him down

And then force feed him till he his knocked completely out and then his life as

A television star started.   Joshua was excited about being on a pirate show and

He wanted to email all his friends but he was stuck in another world and also

He was the one the pirates wouldn’t leave alone and he felt weird and wanted

The drug to wear off but we all know that when it wears off it’s dinner time.

As he started the pirate show it was hard for him to be his own man because he

Was kidnapped straight away it was hard for him to understand what this

Dream meant and was trying to tell Brian that he wants his blood.

Brian jumped on the computer and said how about we keep him captive there

For 2 hours and then it would be dinner time and h’ll enjoy that.

Meanwhile Brian wasn’t scared one little bit and watched the television to

Catch another criminal and it was Mark Dellar who tried to make John the

Baptist (the religious fellow) look evil by coming into the Christian church and

Preaching that John the Baptist was evil and every thing that he did

John the Baptist was telling him to do it and the Christians were very

Upset and screamed so loudly as Mark stole money from everyone in

There and Brian got onto his computer and said that he wants to put

Mark in his gaol and make him a religious guru to be put onto Television

At 5 am every weekday morning as well as listen to good people’s

Prayer requests and he must help them as well.   The first request was a

Man who is terminally ill and there is no way he will get out of it and

This man yelled at him in the prayer request that he sent and Mark

Tried to tell him that he has nothing to worry about because God

Is on your side and Brian got onto his computer and made the walls

Cave in and knocked Mark out and the man just ran away saying

We won the first battle and Mark woke up and he had a cup of coffee

And a biscuit waiting for him and he was relieved but there were more

Strange cases in his dream and Brian is there to reform him.

Brian thought it was a good job he gave him as a Television preacher helping people get better than making people feel Worse which what he was doing..

Brian watched more of Australia’s most wanted and saw a group of

Violent and dangerous armed robbers who were knocking over 7

Eleven stores and rich people’s houses as well as stopping the

Families from going out and having fun and Brian had his little

Plan to get them in his little gaol.     He wanted to play them at their

Own game by pretending he was a rich powerful man because

He had more dangerous things than any robber like his booster

Shot in which Brian wanted then to be cops in televisions cop

Drama ‘cop department” in which they deal with dangerous criminals

Like them each day and Brian thought that they will reform if they

Knew the kind of trauma they were putting their victims through and Brian

Keeps them there forever if they don’t reform even if it eventually kills

Them so the crooks can’t escape because Brian is too powerful for

Any of them.

Brian sat their laughing at the armed robbers playing cops and at

One moment they were locked in a security vault which had a

Bomb in it which is set to explode in 20 minutes and Brian went

On the computer and said let the bomb go off and then they will

Be put back in their beds and we will have lunch for them before

We torture them some more and then Brian sat down and said

What a job well done but there are still heaps of dangerous criminals

He needs to catch yet

Brian turned on America’s most wanted and there was the Texan ******

Who preys upon women in their 20s by luring them into his panel van

And keeping them ******* in his back shed till they are killed and Brian

Said that he wants to catch the Texan ****** and start him on stint on

General hospital where he will play a young woman who is the target

Of a never ending ****.

The police took the drug off Brian and went straight to the Texan rapists

House to give him the drug and at first he wondered why he needed to

Take these drugs because he wasn’t mental he said and there is nothing

Wrong with him and he refused to take them and tried to escape and

Then Brian got onto his computer to make him too slow to get away and

Brian was happy to get him onto General hospital and make the old ladies

Very happy.

When he first fell asleep there was a ****** at the end of his bed and wanted

To get within his sheets and really let him have it and the Texan ****** was

Screaming so loud stuff like” Let me go I’m a man not a woman but this

****** just heard the innocent lady scream and there was no way that he

Was to escape and Brian was laughing like crazy at the Texan rapists bad ordeal

And went onto the computer and said I want him to be attacked every day

To understand what it was like for his victims and they started to employ

People to play the rapists straight away and Brian was happy to see that this

Plan of his is working very well.

Brian was the envy of all his friends but noone apart from his best friend

Thomas knew about it because of the closeness of their friendship,

Brian’s secret was safe with him.

Brian and Thomas went to the park to have a drink under the tree

Together and talked about their lives and Brian isn’t aloud to talk about

His gaol life just in case anyone was around and at the moment noone

Could suspect anything.

After Brian had a break he watched more of Australia’s most wanted and

Saw there was a man wanted for bank fraud who is on the run in Brisbane

And Brian wanted to track him down and give him the drug that puts

Him in his little gaol where Brian will put him on as victim of fraud who

Was on Brian’s fake edition of 60 minutes until he realises that what

He did is wrong and that he will never do it again and when the police

Arrived at his house to give him Brian’s magical reforming drug he put

Up a fight and started to flee away on foot down the street that he lives

In with some police following him and others contacting Brian to use his

Powers to make him slower and catch him and give the drug to him and

Put the fraud man who doesn’t tell people his name into his little gaol and

When they did Brian was so happy of all the crooks he caught without

A worry in the world , Brian watched the episode of 60 minutes and

Really enjoyed him suffering because of all the people he made suffer

He needs a taste of his own medicine.

They asked him what is it like to be a victim of fraud and do you think you will

Ever see that kind of money again and he told them that he wants the money he

Stole so he could go to the Bahamas and cruise around looking for chicks and

Brian went straight to the computer and said keep ribbing him because it’s fun to

Make this guy suffer because what he did was terrible so rib something fierce.

Brian watched this music show and He was happy that the young people who were at the music festival were

Really letting him have it and this really entertained Brian a lot and

Then he switched it over to the Talent quest where our criminal was being

Told he was talentless and was upset with the whole outcome of it all, he

Threatened to jump off the top building and be dead forever and Brian

Went onto the computer and said that there is no way that he will die if he

Jumps off the roof to the ground, in fact he will just wake up and a guard will

Be there to keep an eye on him and now he was aware of the fact that noone

Could escape from Brian’s little gaol.

The Saturday morning cartoon show went very well with the child snatcher

Being teased by 2 11 year old girls and one 7 year old boy  and he nearly lost it and Brian was so happy that they were teasing him.  Then he told the kids that

He will **** them all and Brian went onto the computer and said don’t try any

Funny stuff because there is no escape for you now fella,and then he put

one of the cartoons which was our modern day pirate who was being tortured by Blackbeard and Brian was happy because this man needed to know why he is

in this little gaol of Brian’s, and then he went onto his computer and said to

Blackbeard too never let him get free because what he was doing to these

Adults was a very bad thing and then he went back to his chair and laughed at

Blackbeard the pirate torturing this modern day pirate like a lamb to the

Slaughter.

Blackbeard also made to walk the plank and Threatened to cut his head off

Agreed that it could be fun to see him suffer.   Like what it was like for him

In the end of his life and the pirate said “please don’t **** me please don’t ****

Me I am a modern pirate and in days to come pirates have a lot of vegeance

Than in these times” and Brian went to the computer and told them to

Chop his head off once and then keep trying to do it so he could suffer

And that would be heaps of fun Brian thought.

Brian turned it over to general hospital where his Texan ****** was screaming

In the back boot of a car and noone could hear him except for Brian who was

Watching him and he got up and wrote on the computer “He wants them to

Feed his body to the sharks at 11.59 am so he could be ready for lunch.

He switched the TV over to the cop show where our armed robbers thought they are in the perfect job because there were no crimes around so they just sat down

And relaxed and Brian wasn’t happy and went to this computer and told

Everybody to put on a few situations to make them really suffer like they

Did to the police on Earth and then suddenly there was a call on the 000

Saying there was a mother and her 13 year old son locked in their panic

Room while the robbers were having a field day robbing the place

and the cops went straight there only to find out that this was their first

test, because when the reached them the crooks turned on them and

left the mother and 13 year old son in the panic room and Brian went

to his computer and said I want these so-called policeman to try to save the

mother and son instead of trying to **** the police and if they don’t they will

flunk the test.  So one of the policemen went into the house and tried to

save the mother and son while the other two were having a gunfight and the

policeman who was in the house saving the victims couldn’t get the door

opened and screamed for his mates to help him but they were too busy

having a gunfight in the front lawn with the neighbours scared for each others

safety, and Brian went to his computer and said give these ****** gunfighters

a wake up pill because they don’t seem to realise what is really important

here and that is saving the victims and not killing the cops like cowboys

and Indians you ****** fools.

While all the caught prisoners eating their meals Brian watched Australia’s most

Wanted to try to catch some more crooks and they told him about the

Charnwood child snatcher who lived in “as the name suggests” Charnwood

And he took street kids off the streets and he would tell them that he has the

Perfect home for them and as a matter of fact he would tie the kids up

And when they die of starvation or dehydration he would take them out

To the cow paddock and let the cows pick at them and When Brian heard

The details he got straight up to his computer and said that he wants to

Put the Charnwood child snatcher on a new show called Sugary who is

A very witty and smart seal who is befriended by this 8 year old boy who

Is the Charnwood child snatcher because Brian wanted to teach him

Not to destroy the family’s lives, like he did when he kidnapped their

Children from them.

Brian sat down and watched the first episode and they had this evil

Genous who wanted to take the seal and sell him for seal meat and

The boy was so determined to stop this crook he would stay out and

Guard Sugary all night and hours and hours went by and noone turned

Up and the boy was determined not to leave because Sugary was his

Favourite pet.

When the crooks got there the boy jumped up and said” If you want

Sugary you have to take me as well” and the men said “Whatever”

And shoved the kid in a bag with the attempt the **** him and then

**** Sugary soon after and Brian got up to his computer, don’t let them

Be killed, just keep him ******* till the end when the parents come to save

Them and make sure that sugary is safe as well.

Then Brian sat down and saw The father rescue the boy and Sugary from

This evil genious and the evil genious said I will get you next time boy

Next time heh heh heh and then you won’t escape from that.

The Charnwood child snatcher woke up and found himself locked in a room

And he looked outside and a lady has a cup of coffee for him and he took

The coffee and thanked the lady and sat down until it was time to take his

Reforming pill.

Brian was happy because the Charnwood child snatcher was forced to learn

The perfect family bond between parents and children.

About 5 hours later than that Brian sat down and watched the 6 o clock news

And they informed everybody with Christmas approaching there was man

Who escaped from prison who is a good santa claus impersonator and every

Christmas he would go to Santa School and pass the test and then he’ll be

Assigned to working in one of the shopping malls and that doesn’t sound

Like such a crime and Brian was thinking this is a happy story until he heard

The next bit where he will get the kids to put their name and address so he

Knows where to go on Christmas eve and then he studies when the kids

Will be alone in the house and comes to their homes
Brisbane bowling trip day 5; COOL DAY

Today I had a lot of fun in Brisbane
I got up for my first 7 -00 breakfast
And it was a usual breakfast of scrambled eggs
Bacon and hash brown, and we left at 8-00
Toward the bowling alley, and the other ACT team from Tuggeranong
Lined up in the opening ceremony, why not us
And then at 9-45. We. Started bowling with Theo and micheal
Theo got 134 and 128 and 146
Micheal got 140 and 99 and 130
And I got 160 and 115 and 127
And after we finished bowling I ordered sweet potato fries for lunch
And after I ate that I watched my teammates bowling
And after that we left the bowling alley
Back to the hotel getting ready to go to outback spectatacular
Which is near Warner brothers movie world
Outback spectacular was really totally radical dudes
They gave us a book and a free drink anda backstage pass
To see all the actors and horses and cattle etc
I loved it, especially when they give us a meal
To eat whilst w arching a quiche and beef and veggies
And a cheesecake with chocolate around it
BEAUTIFUL
And I loved the show, it shows how farmers are doing it tough
In every stretch of the imagination
As I was watching it, I thought of the show heartland
With trick riding and training horses to be nice to you
I liked the wedding especially everything else
Nothing was wrong with this shoe
After the show, we went to the dunny can
And I bought a soft toy horse, very cute
And then we went back in the bus heading back to Brisbane
If anyone has seen outback spectacular and liked it
Leave a message in my message bank
I thought it was RAD
Then we went home and off to bed, I bowl in the afternoon at 4-30
So my breakfast is at 9-00
Goodnight😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😇😇😇😇
Brisbane bowling trip day 2

Today it was just a tenpin bowling day
My scores were 143 and 129 and 115
And I waited about an hour for my Mexican nachos
And I cheered on my team mates including my roommate Shane
And no, he isn’t Shane Warne, different kind of bowling dude
It was fun watching people bowl
I also saw tony parker, an old acquaintance at school
And when I got my Mexican nachos it was 4.00 pm
For lunch, I bowled with another bowler tony d
And after the last bowler left, we went back to the
Brisbane lions AFL club for dinner, I ordered a burger
Which I only ate a little bit because of my late lunch of nachos
We had numbers in the raffle there
And Ingrid said, what will we do with a tray of meat
I said, how about if we win a tray of meat
We could have a BBQ, but we lost, and then
We stayed at the club to watch the state of origin
And everybody was singing the national anthem
And the veronicas looked **** on the television
And when the game started we headed home and
I videoed a video of us going past the Brisbane Ferris wheel
Which is on Aaron Clayton YouTube channel Santa Claus profile
And we all listened to the footy cheering on the blues
And I went into my room to watch home and away and neighbours
With the state of origin on
The blues won 50-6
We are the cool blues
We won the match up in Townsville
Today my mate we never let them down
Cleary and the others too good for maroons
GO BLUES
And then we went to bed
Brisbane bowling trip day 6

Today was an adventurous day especially after
We all had a sleep in after going to outback spectacular
We had breakfast at 9-00 and at 10-00
We headed off to the bowling alley
And we cheered on our team mates
And I caught up with watching neighbours and YouTube
And I had a pizza for lunch
And we all just chilled waiting either to go or bowl
I had to find my alley ball and get my shoes
And by when 4-30 came I can tell ya tell ya tell ya
Had a day full of mistakes, so much so that it looked like
The pin wouldn’t fall over and I wasn’t getting better in spares either
Theo got 149 and 131 and 155
Micheal got146 and 163 and 175
And my lousy scores were 112 and 122 and a very dismal 93
A game full of bad luck
We all had fun, but I might have let the team down though
On the way to the club we saw the pretty lights of the Brisbane river
And then we all went back to the Brisbane lions AFL club
I got a fetticine carbonara with chicken and bacon
It was superb, and for dessert I had choc and wild berry ****
With chocolate ice cream, other people had what makes them happy
AND when me and my roommate Shane got home
The toilet was full of *ty poo, when me and Shane got back
We had to move from room 109 to room 207
Mind you, it was a bit weak of the pacific hotel
To not move the *
from the toilet, ** ME DEAD😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
And then we went to bed in room 207 and hopefully we sleep well
And I will be able to wake at 6 for 7-00 breakfast
Ready to bowl at 9-45
Lysander Gray May 2013
4:11 am - The nighthawks are starting to resemble pigeons.

Train station is deserted.
An employee checks the bins as the tunnel fills  with the ringing of a distant bell, heralding the arrival of the morning train.
42  minutes till my train.

I can smell the acrid fumes of the Ferny Grove train.
The behemoth pulls away-
empty.

At least I'm not existential anymore.

There is an installation of a coffin made from old bits of railroad,
"Not everyone makes it across the tracks"
This reminder of mortality is strangely fitting in a place of transit.
The true face of memento mori is  shown.
Remember that you too will die, and everything will come to pass.

It's times like this that make me wish 'The Sound of Silence" was never written.
For its perfection in this moment comes as a burst of pure divine bliss.
The kind you wish would never fade away. But inevitably does.
And all we are left with is a memory of that bliss,
everytime we hear the song (after the first time).
As if we are recalling the curves of an old lover from the shadow of yesterdays gone.
Dancing beneath our fingertips, always out of reach.

Memory is never as divine as the moment that burnt it in.

----

4:29 am - It was ephemeral.

The trainyard announcer has a cultured voice.

----

4:41 am - I fear the muse has left me, beauty fled.

DEAR GOD - PLEASE LET THERE BE A CAB AT THE STATION FOR ME.

Selection 11 gave me the water i desired.
11 minutes till the train.
D.O.B. 11/2
Aquarius,  11th  sign of the Zodiac.

Will I see the dawn rise from the train?
There is no light at the end of the tunnel from where I sit.

Inexplicably: I recall the cool river air that bathed us as we lay naked in your apartment,
the smell of cigarettes on our skin, the evening peppered with
scurrying, fighting possums
that danced upon your balcony.
I recall being inside you.

(Then I imagined you being eaten out
by a woman
her lips inside yours,
her curled tongue
inside your hot, bald
golden ****.)

And I came.
Warm and glorious
my children of pleasure
caught in a latex coffin.
Your heaves of pleasure pushing against my chest
with the rhythm of waves.

----

4:46 am - On the train.

Fluorescent lighting is the devil.
Everything is garish yellow.

We  pull up to the station near where you lived.

Your blue  rose lives in a Chinese vase
and no longer smells
of Marlene Dietrich.
I was trapped in Brisbane one evening from 'round midnight till 6am and kept a journal of my experiences, thoughts and rambles of the night in a stream of consciousness style.

Part 1: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/brisbane-street-sketch-1/
Part 2: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/brisbane-street-sketch-2/
Part 3: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/brisbane-street-sketch-3/
Part 5: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/brisbane-street-sketch-5/
I am in Brisbane, Queensland
I flew in from Canberra this morning
It was an awesome flight
We had a snack on the plane
Biscuits with caremalised onion dip
The flight took 1 hour and a half
We got off the plane
I tapped the plane for good luck
I ate a gourmet pie for lunch
We went on two buses to the pacific hotel
And it was really COOL
When we got to the hotel
I am staying with another good bowler named Shane
We got into the room, and we showed off our room
To social media, it was rad
We watched Becker on 10 peach Brisbane
And at 5.00 we headed off to the Brisbane lions AFL club for tea
I had a seafood basket, it was tasty
And just for $1 we all became members
GO LIONS
They had Tuesday night trivia night
Where they asked questions
And we called out the answers
Like KISS and the Sullivan’s etc
I found the club totally awesome
I took a few snaps for my Facebook page
Then we went home to relax before our first day of tenpin bowling
I watched neighbours
And everyone did what they awaited
Paul bell joked about us all go to a nightclub
I was told I have to be ready for breakfast @ 8 am tomorrow
Some others got 8-30
It was a great flight up
BRIANO ALLIANO PERFORMS AT JUPITER MOON


hi dudes and welcome to jupiter moon where i will chuck a methane smoothie all over dad

so he can stop treating me like him at home, you see last night dad used the old young dudes

tp say i am not like my mate pat anymore, no, don’t want to be a cool kid to my dad, but i can

clean my house to what i like, and nothing more, buddy, so if you treat me like dad, you must

except i want to be a poor man, because dads way will never work, he should work on betty campbell

here is cruising round with red bull


I see some sorry old soul walking around the town, with a leather jacket on and a red bull in his hand, you see he looks kind if ***** and ****** up in the head he also looks so droopy, too, he should be home in bed, he'll go into JB hifi, if they'll let him in, that is and then he'll notice his red bull can is empty, he didn't know what to do, and everyone is staring at him, he yells out really loud WHAT ARE YA LOOKIN' AT YA ******, and nearly gets into a fight, and he was going completely crazy, yes he was weird, so ran through the mall, saying, I have to get my red bull, I have to get my red bull, I have to get my red bull, it's a f..n matter of life and death, if I don't get a red bull now, I swear I'll **** someone, waddaya think of that, everyone was saying as he passed thinking this man is cool, I think he's a loser cruising around with his red bull
When he got his second can open it up and it squirted everywhere, and unknown to him that half the can was lost in that squirt, so he cruised around with his can saying howdy to the chicks and saying hi dudes to the chaps, and, man he felt so cool, as he went over to JB hifi, yes his red bull can was empty again, and he yelled out ****, this time he was really ****** violent, he knocked over an old lady going to the bank and punched a yeah mate yeah kid,  (nerd) in the gut, and he was like that all the way to the red bull shop, when he got their the red bull was sold out and the store clerk said we have red eye, mother or V, and he said I don't want those, they are woosey drinks, I only drink red bull, because about 1 hour the man was taken by the police, as he was cruising it gives me wings, as I left he saw a kid who bought the last red bull, and he offered him $50 for it, and the kid said, money comes and money goes, but this red bull stays with me forever, and he got violent threatening to **** him as such and the kid said, ok dude, keep ya shirt on, give me $50 for this can and I will give it to you, they exchanged what they had and the kid went to the police station to fill in a statement saying he was threatened by a crazy red bull ******, and in around with the kids red bull, the police took him away the kid identified him as the guy, whi would convert to violence, to be cruising around, oh yeah, yes, man cruising around with his red bull, what a loser

and now here is my next song, called go to bed little shy boy, because i feel like a hooligan with my itchy feet, and i feel like i am getting kidnapped on earth because i am a tad messy, cause dad will never help me, when i do work, i feel like a lady, well, ****** oath i am a
lady to a tease, but i don’t want to get teased though, so i am a man
You see, you are still a little shy boy, and we are still teasing you
So, now you are working, man, come, leave us
And let us muck around, we want to smoke our bongs
As well as drink our bourbons, and drink 100 beers
Yeah we all feel cool, and don't wake up little shy boy
We want the adults to not bother us, cause we are having so much
Fun, we don't want to be adults,and don't want you to worry about us either
You see, all the men, are sitting there, trying to muck with them
Saying tease him, if you want to tease, just teaee him
But at the end of the day, man, we aren't really teasing
We are sitting up all night, being bums and young bludgers
And it's because you are such a ******
We might be making it seemed you are getting teased
But, we really want to leave you alone,,if you leave us alone
Cause, we are drug addicts,,and we want you to respect the fact
That we don't want to work, as long as you think that you aren't a young bludger
Everything will be already, but young bludgers go to bed for work
So mate, just enjoy yourself, and smoke your bongs
And have a good time, doing it
You see, I want to enjoy ourselves doing this
You are now leaving us all on our lonesome
See ya dudes
yeah, i don’t wanna be a cool kid to tease so i say to you, shut up cockbreath, here is my next song


I am a man and other men are teasing me with the kids
This is driving me crazy, I told them that I am a man
And I don't stand for this kind of juvenile behaviour
You see the kids didn't listen to that, they just laughed
And for a while each man kept on trying to be mature adults
Which we all know they're not, said for the kids to leave me alone
And then said, he isn't a target for teasing
But then after 3 days, the men said, what the flaming ****
We are going to tease this ****** yuppie
Yes, we'll tease them with the kids
The kids would teaee and when you go to the men
The men will teaee them too. They will act like all other Australians
And tease you as well, yes and they will ****** find it ****** fun
You are suffering cause you haven't got many friends

And the kids are laughing, while the ******* men say
You are a fucken big old softie,and you are now with no friends
Then you get a knife and try to stab him
And after that you punch him in the back
And then you draw out your knife and threaten to slit his throat
If he doesn't stop fucken teasing him
But they go, I am teasing you, and that's the only way I am being



You see when I go out of my bedroom after having a night of ***
The kids ate teasing me, left right and centre
And I try to handle it, but it's so ****** hard for me to do
Because they are saying things like, I am going to bash you up
And giving me a pineapple drink which was ****** wee
close to you
So if the kiddies are teasing you, and you turn to me, to get me to muck with you
I will say, I ain't mucking with you, mate, neh
I am just teas---ase---ing you with the kiddies, you aren't like us, cause when we tease you
Mate, you can't handle it, and then you say, you are spastic, and dumb as well. And I will punch you with this metal part of my leather glove, to show you who can't fucken handle teasing, you **** of the earth, fucken man
Then you go to your room, and they don't talk to you anymore
Because they are treating you like a target to tease
And that drives me crazy. And i yelled out
I AM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING THE MAN WHO IS GETTI NG TEASED BY MEN AND THE KIDS,  LEAVE ME THE **** ALONE
And they did, I am now a free spirit, no one can successfully taste me, never


yeah, i don’t wanna get teased by the men and kids, so i will be a hooligan oops, i am a cool person

you see, i am a polite man, hey, what did you say, you are protecting me with your hey, so i want dad to fly off, ok

have found a polite way to

I have found a polite way to say I love you even if I don't really mean it
I have found a polite way to tell you to ******* when you constantly bug me at my place of work, and that is treat him like an employee and then sack him, that'll work
I have found a polite way to tell someone that their weird without making them get upset
I have found a polite way to say to a right wing party that their policies stink by saying, you guys are a bunch of total perfectionists, who care nothing for the little guys
I have found a polite way to tell someone that they aren't the right sort of friend for me by saying, please mate, I need to broaden my horizons, so can you leave my perfect world buddy
I have found a polite way to tell my boss that I am resigning and that is I really don't want this place of employment, it's not really my cup of tea
I have found a polite way tell someone in a bar to stop bugging me by asking them nicely to please leave me alone and if that doesn't work then leave the bar saying if people aren't going to be nice to me here, I ain't going to come here
I have found a polite way to call someone a young bludger by telling them that they are as lazy as you were when you were their age
I find polite ways to say anything because I value my
Life too much to be hurt people's feelings, I am really cool, man

ya see i hear voices of people saying i have no real problems, but i wanna be famous, and i want to move to adelaide, but i don’t get positive feedback

so i feel like getting drunk and vomiting like this song

You see I love to have a few beers, or chocolate, and chips, oh yeah
This was what I really enjoy when I go to a pub at night
You see I live next door to this nightclub, called the hungry ****** horse
And I ain't cursing because I want to, man, that s what it's called
I met a man named Roger Killbert, who I had *** with and having a few
But the beers weren't doing good for Roger, they made him really sick
You see he was getting drunk and vomiting, yes, he was really sick
I don't share children with him, so why did I stay with him
You see he lost his family in the recent fires, and this is the first time he went out
And Roger was getting a sickly taste in his mouth, oh yeah
And it made him *****, he was sick,
You see it was just vomiting, so I didn't bother to take him to hospital
But I changed my mind, when te blood came out, it was really bad
So I took him to the hospital, and the hospital said he fine
But I know in my fucken ****** heart, that he was sick
Then he vomited blood, and the nurse said
To Roger to go to the waiting room
Because this isn't too important, but we do know that it was
And I said, why don't you get your *** in gear
And help my fucken friend, and from that moment
They labelled me a stubborn girl, yes I hated that a lot
And I said, yes, I'm stubborn, but I care for him, and have you got
Someone you care about, you hear about doctors like you
And I am more than just a stubborn woman
If you don't look after my friend, or at least try
I will soo your pants right off
He fucken had the nerve to say on what grounds
I am trying, to be my job, follow work protocol
Yes, I am doing fine, I earn a lot of money
And I deserve every cent, then I said you deserve squat
But I don't really care, when we left, yes I sooed his pants off
And since that ****** day, this doctor never learnt his lesson
We were moved to another hospital
You see he is getting drunk and vomiting, and he was very sick
And we are enjoying spending his money we got out of the doctor
Yes I feel ****** good

you can get your earth bodies to look at aaron clayton or aaa youtube TV, to hear everything performed by me

here is my next song


now, i will tell you where my cool kid is, at the mall mucking around
you see I go to the mall, being with young people
And I have so much fun, making young people mistakes
Like drinking all night and passing by McDonald's
For a McFeast and fries and coke
I will look like a junk food hooligan
And yes I will look so cool to the young
But I wish it was as simple as that
I want to have some fun
So I saw my two friends Eddie and Daniel
And we mucked around having fun
But it wasn't really what I wanted, man
So I told them both to *******
For 3 years after they purposely ran into me
And call me Woosey, and um, they will put the smoke in their ear
And eat McDonalds while I will try to be an adult
And every adult decision I make, they said Woosey, Woosey, Woosey
And then I got up and said you kids make me sick
But I couldn't say that, and they called me Woosey, because I was
Too Woosey to be a man, that opens up to his problems
But I felt like trying my hand trying to intimidate them
And make them leave me alone, it drives me crazy
All I want to be is a normal young dude, you know
Playing around making mistakes as well as being cool
But I have **** like you two teasing me as if your friendship is a fucken lie
You look like greedy pigs when you eat your McDonald's
And you are a ******* when you bang your head against the tapes
Yeah, dude, you look like a Woosey to me, mate
I am just doing the kind of things that Patrick did
Because what he likes to do, is similar to what I like to do
I like hard rock music, but I ain't a little young dude
Who is to scared to escape the tease
You guys are two little Wooseys, and I will say you are Wooseys
Mainly because you eat little young food like maccas
And you stick the cigarette in your hair, like a ******
I am a cool young dude, cool young dudes do art, and don't look lost
I'm not lost, I am so radical dudes, let's party
I am now on the healing process, because Daniel is the only Woosey
And that's the truth, you see


you see, how many of you guys have been called a woosey, you see i believe in loving life and here is my next song

i still wanna be young, what is wrong with that
Yes, mate, I am happy and I feel cool
I feel my body is getting younger and I want to break the adult rule
Mind you, there is nothing wrong with growing up, and being wise, so to speak
But really that's too formal, man, doing that will just send you weak
You need to do things that are exciting
Like go on an aero plane, like to Thailand or Vietnam, or even the mighty USA
You should go on long rail journeys too, yes that's a bit of a buzz
You can either choose having a sleeper, living the lap of luxury
Or roughing it up on the single ride seat
You can also grab a hot meal on the train
And you can eat it in the dining car
And you can eat it up, real fast, so you aren't away from the seat too long
I also like a bus trip, like to Batemans bay or beyond
And a trip to Sydney. Melbourne, Brisbane, Hervey bay, gold coast, and fantastic Adelaide
I go into a club and if I hear music I will either tap my foot or dance to it
Depending on the mood of the place
I also like to stay in a Hotel, and watch a bit of ****** Rupertvision
Some shows are good, and thouroughly entertained me so much
But not enough to make me give to that rich *****
I sometimes like a good trip in the country, where I climb mountains
Or just look at the views from lookouts and even the wild life
And mind you, you can have a ball in the country, cause you have no main worries
No worries at all, sonny Jim
Then you can spend the weekend in Sydney for the Carols in the domain
Where you get in early, pick a great spot, and take in the Christmas spirit
Mind you, you have to wait in line at the toilets, but it's all in good fun
And mate, if you happen to lose, dad, or even your mum
Just go to the stage, and tell them that you are a lost boy
With no directional skills, and how do I find mummy again
Of course they will help find them, but you really just wanted to get on the idiot box
And mate, just wait for the hiding you get off mum or dad
For wasting important television viewing time
There are so many things you can do, but, mate
You need to get a job, oh yeah, don't make your mum and dad pay
That can make you uncool
You see, I am a 43 year old young dude, yeah
And I will be there, till the day I join the afterlife, oh yeah
i hear voices of people saying, i ain’t going to help you little cool ki, ****** oath i am cool kid



Hi little kid, you can't find your mummy, you are a baby
Cause this is a family event, and it's quite ****** safe
Just ask a fellow kid, sure you are safe little kid
But then another kid will come, and trick me into
Looking like a phedaphile, and I won't be able to get out of it
So little kid, keep looking around for your mummy
And, yes you will see her, and I ain't helping you
Cause I am not the kids teasing Buddy
You see I want kids to let me be a true grown up
Who wants to be cool, and have a lot of fun
With other grown ups, and if kids can think of Judy being with each other
The city will look after their needs a lot better
You see, I dressed up as Santa, but I ain't helping you kid
So *******, or I will put you in the toilet
Do you want that, I don't fucken think so
I can tell you, I ain't no kid, I am an adult
Who wants to have fun and enjoy life
I don't want you kids to come up to me
And ask me to do something inappripiate
Even if it looks innocent, it ain't, I aren't that type of guy
You kids are a pack of fucken losers
And just keep yourselfs in your family groups
Cause that will suit me just fine, because
I ain't gonna he
Brisbane bowling trip day 3

Today was the third day of my tenpin bowling trip in Brisbane
I started the day having a late breakfast at 7-30
And after that I went back to the room till 10
Watching Frasier on tv after everybody loves Raymond
After that we headed off to the bowling alley
Getting ready to play bowling, it will be radical
My scores were 136 and 106 and 116
And, mate, I blew those pins to kingdom come
And then after that I went to the cafe at the bowling centre
And bought sweet potato fries with sour cream and sweet chilli sauce
And mate that was a dainty dish, fit for a king like me
I bought three chocolates and one guy who was fat himself
Told me if you eat too much chocolate, you will get FAT
After I finished that meal, I went to the grandstand
To watch Leckie and Stephen bowl
And mind you they bowled fantastic
I watched Shane bowl with Belinda and Paul bell
That was cool
After leckie and Stephen finished, our team posed for our team photo
And the picture was so close to the bowling lane
We were setting off the fowl lines
It was fun laughing at that, yes it was
After we left there, we put our bowling shirts out to get washed, so
They will be ready tomorrow
And after that we went to the OLD MILL for our dinner
I had chicken parmigiana and I made a joke, of a chicken wearing pyjamas
Ha ha ha ha, very funny
And I had a pavlova for dessert
And I walked home, and went inside to hang our
Bowling shirts out to dry in the cupboard
And watch home and away and the neighbours
And the AFL footy, between port and Geelong
Cats won, and I remembered Matthew Reid’s song
We are Geelong the crappest team of all
We are Geelong we’re always dropping the ball
But the cats won, I wanted port to win😹😹😹😹😹
And now we are off to bed, goodnight
At the club we were remembering all the home and away and neighbours
Stars
Now we are off to bed
Good night😌😌😌😌😌😌
hi dudes

i am in a good mood, i am doing the bbq tomorrow

and i tipped

kangaroos over essendon kangaroos won

adelaide over st kilda adelaide won

hawthorn over melbourne hawthorn won

GWS over carlton, GWS won

sydney over geelong, sydney won

west coast over gold coast, west coast won

and if fremantle beat western bulldogs

and collingwood beat richmond

and port adelaide beat brisbane

i have tipped all the winners of this round

i am doing the bbq tomorrow in kippax

hoping i grab the second full winner
PARTY ON @ Brisbane bowling trip day 11

Today was a very awesome day
We started just having breakfast
And then brushing our teeth
And heading down to catch the two public buses
To the pier to aboard the lunch cruise on the Brisbane river
We got on the boat, and for the people who wanted alcoholic cocktails
That wasn’t good, so instead they had to have a mocktail
Which is a non alcoholic cocktail
I had two blueberry lemonades
And the buffet meal was ever so nice
And so was dessert as we sailed up and down the river
We took some photographs and videos
And the boat rocked and rocked
But none of us was sick
Then we got off the boat and caught the two buses home
And on the bus there was this schizophrenic or ICE sufferer
Getting really anxious, poor guy
Because we all crowded up the bus, which was his space
Then he got up, but he got anxious when he thought
The back door wouldn’t open
Then the bus let us off, and we had two hours to get ready
For the celebration Hawaiian night dinner
Then we all had our calypso Hawaiian on
And it took 50 minutes to get there
And when we got in there, there was a big
Line for the drinks, and when it was my turn
I bought two glasses of lemonade for $9-00, ****** rip off
And we were the first table to get the buffet main course
And it was ****** amazing food
And then we had a dance and got a few photos of us near the
Hawaiian poster, a nod then they drew out the lucky door prizes
Which out of the wizards bowling league, me and Jarrad and tony won
Nobody else, but it would’ve been fun whether we won that or not
Then after that we had dessert and when it was our turn
The cool music, we will rock you and we are the champions came on
And buddy, we were loud, but we were enjoying ourselves
And a lot of people shoved the dessert down their cake hole
And danced, and I got a good video of them dancing to nutbusb city limits
And then the Macarena and TNT and we left singing who let the dogs out
As I said in the title, PARTY DUDES
Then we got home after a 30 minute ride
And we went straight to bed😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😊😊❤️❤️❤️
Brian the cool vinnies bloke


you see brian allan was looking for something to do, to get him from being street trash

and a very nice lady named rowena said why don’t you work for vinnies, and brian said why not

and the next day, he was given an interview with helen, who was the boss at vinnies, and

she thought it would be great to have someone to do the bins and vacuum the floor before the start

and after 4 weeks of being there, brian thought he would like to be santa claus, and had to make uo

a proper reason for doing it, so brian said, i like the idea of giving the kids, who hate shopping with parents

a treat and helen thought she will make gingerbread men, to tickle the childs taste buds a lot,but helen was

in a bind, because i haven’t got a beard and she suggested i spray paint my real beard, but my parents were against that

because it would go against everything that santa stood for, but brian got angry with his parents and told them

that if they spray painted his beard, there will be no smart alek of a kid to pull his beard off, and as brian said that

his father yelled out, THAT’S ENOUGH, thinking i cared nothing about the kids of this city but that offended brian a lot

and made him hit his father, and this got brian really hyped up on being the best santa claus in canberra, and then

when brian explained to helen that it was causing a stir with the family to spray paint the beard, helen decided to

get a fake beard for me to use, and on the first day i played santa, i offered some of the adults gingerbread men

and they said, save them for the kids, and one little girl, who had the same resemblance to my eldest niece, said

i was a fake santa, and the santa at the mall was more real than i was, and some of the vinnies ladies brought their

own grandchildren in to get their gift from santa and i did my first year of santa, despite some smart a lek of a kid

attemptng to pull my beard off, but i was too smart for him, and after christmas was over packed my santa suit away for the first time

and then i met david who did the shoes, and i found him very good to talk too, you see i said when he dies he will be the

shoe shine man in heaven, but he sounded like he hated the idea, and he liked to joke around with stephen and mable and

i vacuumed the floor and then went outside to empty the clothing bin, and i did this all the time, ya know every day, and i had ken and brian

to help me, but brian thought it would be cool to bang on the clothing bin, while i was still in it and i told helen and she said

you should speak up for yourself, because i seem to let people walk all over me, and really i can’t be bullied by this so called brian

character, and then i started something new, you see i thought, it would be nice to to cook lunches 3 days a week at the new mental health

building, called the rainbow and i learnt how to do creative writing as well as meeting the messiah and a man named barry, who was a

really cool poet, sort of reminded me of my father, mainly because of his poem sounding like banjo patterson and henry lawson, and barry

was a lover of fitzroy, and supported the brisbane lions afl club, and i went to the club i do the bbq for, to watch the game with him and

he left before the end of the match and, i continued to go about my merry way, cooking meals at the rainbow and going on trips with the rainbow

having sing-a=longs and one man, warwick, swam 45 km at once and helen got a fire engine and i sat in it, and a star canberra raiders star

came to vinnies and signed a ball for me and my second year of santa claus went well also, i wrote fly burgers also that year, which was

funny and when i read it out, everyone was laughing along with it and they clapped it, and i read out the fact i missed scott macdonald also

and i went to queensland that year also, and when i got in my santa suit, i was visioning i will tell the kids i am an australian santa and instead of

living on the north pole, i lived right here in canberra but my parents who were strict on keeping kids imaginations flowing, hated me disillusioning

the kids minds, you see here is a poem about the aussie santa

ya see g’day mate i am the real santa

i don’t live at the north pole

i live in canberra australia, ya know the hot place, around christmas day

ya see ya know christmas is great as i do my gigs at vinnies

and as a treat i give out gingerbread men and lollies

you see christmas is fun for all ages dudes, yeah it’s fun oh yeah that’s right mate

i hope you don’t do ya santa gig way to ****** late


you see i thought i was given this gig, to bring the cool into santa

and one year i was doing my gig with an orange soda

who loves orange soda, i love orange soda

is it true, oh yeah it’s true ooh ooh ooh oh yeah

and in the following year, i was feeling fine, and my psychiatrist reduced my medication and that pushed me straight to the psych ward, where i thought

i died, and the psych ward was the gate to heaven and that ended the cool vinnies kid reign but i came back and i was more interested talking with david

and doing santa claus and that year i was checking tapes, but that only lasted 5 months, because there were getting more tapes coming in, i couldn’t keep it up

and santa was the thing, and because i was a good worker, suddenly everyone wanted me, but that was because of my manly charm, and helen left and glenn

came in and he had this little jingle, brian brian brian everything is fine, brian brian brian he’s a friend of mine brian brian brian makes the carpet shine?

you see his name is brian brian brian, and glenn sang that song to me every time i did the vacuuming at the shop and then after a few more santa gigs, glenn left and

paul s came in after vinnies had no boss, but i was still santa claus there and paul s was the official photographer for my santa claus gig, and that made me feel cool

and now, i am not santa anymore, but i really enjoyed the attention.
Playing baseball
From Brisbane to Perth
Playing baseball
The bandits won their 4th
The team was the best on ground this year
The crowd is letting out a big cheer
It is the little league
Giving the medals to champs
Brisbane played the best you see
Brisbane didn’t want to be in 3
This was perfect as they
Wear their medals with pride
Three cheers for Brisbane
Yeah yeah yeah
Three cheers for the crowd
Who got them this far today
Go the bandits you won this match
Making the heat dish of the day
Playing baseball
The bandits are the winners
Playing baseball
Congratulations to them
4 claxton shields in a row
Playing baseball
The best team of the land
Go bandits go bandits go bandits go
It is a great season
It was great for the fans
Of bandits tv
Yes what a match
Mark McIntosh May 2015
chill surrenders to sun
blazing on a sky of deepening
blue. hour of quiet gathering
batteries fallow
this city
matured in two decades
gallery guards
stalking & pouncing from boredom

behind wire people tie
balloons to funk
neighbours wake
up a renovated *****

saturday traffic gathers
swish & hum, truck
accent. weather collects wanderers
friends missing a year
reuniting like
a week passed
The raiders show against the 2018 premiers at Suncorp in Brisbane

Hi and welcome to the raiders show
Which is coming to you live from Suncorp stadium where all games this week is, where the raiders are playing the great roosters line up, it will be a great game that the raiders must win
If they want to get their names on the board they only lost 2 games against Melbourne storm and manly Warringah, so far this year and here is hoping we can beat the roosters this afternoon, here is our first jingle from George
Hey Canberra
You must win
Just ignore the
Games that we lost yeah
Don’t fade away like you
Used to do yeah
Just don’t fade away
Hey Canberra
It would be great
If we get a win from
Last years champions
Yes, it will make me very a very happy man yeah mate yeah dude
Canberra to win
Hey Canberra
The mighty green machine
Are they good enough to beat the roosters yeah
Are they good enough to really show
Them who is boss in this game yeah
Go raiders we must win
Hey Canberra
Be like supermen
And fly all over Suncorp
This afternoon you have to win mate
Go raiders knock the roosters out
Thank you George and now here is Harry with a jingle
Canberra Canberra Canberra
We are going to win
Everything is going down well with us please god makes us win
Canberra Canberra Canberra
Win in Brisbane
It is going to be cool mate
The best performance of our lives
Oi oi oi raiders must win
At Suncorp stadium
Against a side not from Brisbane
Really pretty hard
Go raiders go raiders go raiders go raiders go please win
Pretty please with sugar on top
And now over to the match against the roosters go raiders
Yes, it has been a dismal match where the roosters have a 24-6 lead over the raiders today and it is bad
And we have a roosters supporter named pill popper with his jingle

Yes we won last years premiership
What a game it was
And we are playing well this year
Include this week at Suncorp
The raiders are pushed right down
Yes go the roosters oh yeah
Yes afterwards we will hit the roosters bar
And have a nice cold beer
24 points to 6 we have them right
Where we want them
Come on roosters knock the raiders
Back to Canberra saying we are
Kings of suncorp dudes
Thank you pill popper and now here is ken with a reply
Carn the raiders
Go the raiders
Get us out of this mess
Yes we need to win we still have hope
For our sweet caress
We need to Ricky Stuart
To say the right things today
To put some fire in our bellies
To make us force the roosters to fade
But the raiders have to play well
And I can’t see it happening
I just want my team to win
Go raiders go
Thank you ken and here is terry with his jingle
And as we draw the final curtain
On the first half I hope we catch up
It will be a hard match mate
Because the roosters are playing well
I hope pill popper eats his words mate
But the roosters are playing well
We need to see our players in the spotlight
Ready for a pretty good fight
I sure hope we play well in the second half
Carn the raiders oh yeah
Thank you terry and what do you have to say pill popper
Pill popper’. Well mate I think the roosters will win and the raiders will fade in your face Canberra
Ok thank you pull popper and now here is the second half of the raiders at Suncorp stadium
And welcome back to the raiders show and what a terrible performance despite coming back a bit in the second half, the roosters won 30 points to 24 and here is pill popper
We gave you the chances
But you still couldn’t win
What is wrong with the Raiders
The roosters were too good
We won we won
Yes we fought yes we conquered
To win by just 6
Yes we put the pressure
On the raiders oh yes we did
Roosters roosters go the mighty roosters for back to back
Thank you pill popper and now here is Simon
We are the bad and mean green machine but today we conked out too soon
Yes we tried to come back
But still the roosters were too good
What is wrong with the raiders
One can only tell
You see it was an awful match
Yes I don’t know what went wrong
The bad and mean green machine
Was broken hopefully fixed next week

Ok that was good and that is it that is all there ain’t no more here is the Final curtain song saying it is beer o’clock

And now let’s draw the final curtain
The roosters were too ****** good
Despite the raiders coming back on them
The raiders failed by just 6
So now we get into beer o’clock mate
To think about next week yeah
Well done to the roosters
Raiders must bounce back
MARK RIORDAN Mar 2017
THE COMMONWEALTH GAMES
THE QUEEN'S BATON RELAY
THE POETRY OF QUEENSLAND
IN BUCKINGHAM PALACE TODAY


MY BOOK IS IN THE PALACE
MY LETTER FROM THE QUEEN
PROMOTING OUR BEAUTIFUL STATE
LIKE NEVER EVER SEEN


I AM A BRISBANE POET
THE QUEEN HAS MY BOOK
THE BATON RELAY HAS STARTED
BY HOOK OR BY CROOK
THE POETRY OF QUEENSLAND HAS BEEN IN BUCKINGHAM PALACE SINCE MAY 2016. THE COMMONWEALTH GAMES GOLD COAST. THE QUEEN'S BATON RELAY HAS COMMENCED. THIS BOOK IS A BEAUTIFUL GIFT OF THE GAMES IN AUSTRALIA IN 2018.
Go thunder go thunder go thunder go
We sent the heat packing
It looked like we were going to lose it
But then we dismissed the heat
And sent them packing
We are the might of Sydney thunder
Into the grand final yeah
We are the might of Sydney thunder
Kicking *** is what we do
We nearly ****** lost it
But somehow wickets started falling
We are the night of Sydney thunder
Go the mighty thunder
Put out Brisbane’s heat
Yes we party yes we are great
We did it well at north Sydney oval tonight
The heat don’t know what hit them
It was all the thunders fault
The might of Sydney thunder
Sydney thunder Sydney thunder  
Bring on the stars
Go thunder go
Women’s afl

Round 1

Geelong. 3. 6. 24
Collingwood. 3. 5. 23


Bulldogs. 2. 6. 18
Adelaide. 1. 11. 17


Kangaroos. 7. 10. 52
Carlton 2. 4. 16



Fremantle 9. 5. 59
Melbourne 8. 7. 55


Brisbane. 4. 5. 29
GWS. 4. 3. 27

Some very close games
Shows that women’s afl can be very exciting not as high scoring as the men but the women played very well
Well done to Geelong bulldogs kangaroos Fremantle and Brisbane
The champions are upon us today
Each game was exciting to play
Each team played well but only one winner is allowed
Unless it is a draw
Emaysee Feb 2015
There’s a line in a movie which goes something like “pain is good, it lets you know you are still alive”. The obvious question that I can hear you asking is “So when the pain goes away you know you’re dead?”  This inevitably leads to a conversation about life after death.
Now that topic can be dangerous if you don’t walk away from the conversation quickly enough, at one of “those” parties, you know the ones; the one you would not have gone to if you knew that the person who invited you believed in the power of healing crystals. So as the bottles of wine get emptier, the part time philosophers get louder and more opinionated about everything from the existence of an afterlife to what was the “real” message behind the final episode of M.A.S.H. And yes, I have been unfortunate enough to actually hear some overfilled part time philosopher postulate a well thought out, theory on the subject at an Italian restaurant in Brisbane and unfortunately was only up to desert so could not escape without missing out on coffee and Muscat and cigars. It was a tough call though.  Ah smoking in a restaurant, those were the days, now where was I?
So given the opportunity to choose an activity which you know involves pain, i.e.: Rugby League, running a Marathon, Childbirth or  listening to drunk part time philosophers at parties, why would you knowingly throw yourself into any of these extreme sports? Well maybe because the rewards of the end result are worth the pain involved during the activity. So that cool night in that Italian restaurant I sat through Scott’s theory, not knowing at the time if the pain of the story was going to be offset by the quality of the temptations to follow desert. And so that leads me to the reason for writing this. A friend of mine recently wrote. “Apparently any given situation can look good if viewed from the right angle. Sometimes I get cramps!”
Well my friend the Muscat was good that night, the coffee rich and earthy and the cigars cheap but free. Scotts actual theory is long gone from my head but the memory of that Muscat coffee and cigars lingers for twenty years.
I am lead to believe that cramps may be a symptom or complication of pregnancy, kidney disease, thyroid disease, hypokalemia, hypomagnesaemia or hypocalcaemia (as conditions), restless-leg syndrome, varicose veins,[2] and multiple sclerosis.
So, given that if in fact it turned out that you had one of these afflictions and the cramps lead you to discovering this fact, I would say the cramps; like my terrible dinner experience, viewed from the right angle looks good! Now off to the doctor with you, I’m off to the bottleshop.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Aaron LaLux Mar 2019
Let’s put the pieces together
form the remnants of our broken hearts,
let’s tear down these walls,
without tearing each other apart,

pulled in several different directions,
by several different girls,
each one of them in a way a reflection,
of every emotion that’s ever occurred,

so each one of them is special,
which is why the Single Life is preferred,

On a rooftop in Brisbane,
livin’ the business but the thrill is gone,
still I B.B. King,
still I Stay Calm & Carry On,

no crown though,
but best believe beef still gets ground slow,
all I know is Life’s a trip,
so what kinda trip are you on?

∆ LaLux ∆
Brisbane 2019
Brisbane bowling trip day 10

Today I got up at 7-30 to have breakfast
Then I went back to the room
To watch Becker and get myself ready for.11-00 departure
And we left for the bowling alley
And I went in and got my ball
And bought sweet potato fries for lunch
And two crunchie bars as well
And then I went to watch the other bowlers bowl
And at 1-45 I was in a doubles match with kyra
We had a great conversation about television
And football etc etc
Then we bowled
Kyra got 103 and 147 and 117
I got 136 and 132 and 111
And when we finished I noticed
Mitchell Meares getting 7 strikes in a row
And finishes with 246, which was a ****** for him
But he will probably get a medal though
Then after that we went home, I watched Becker on the bus
And when we got to the hotel, we had 1 hour and a half to freshen up
Before we went to the old mill pub for dinner
I had beer battered fish and chips and salad
And pavlova with chocolate ice cream for dessert
And then I went home to do art and watch the footy
South’s beat broncos 46-0 AWESOME👌👌👌👌👌👌👍👍👍👍👍😃
And I tried to watch home and away but there were technical issues
Maybe later, I only need to watch two episodes
Tomorrow an 8-30 breakfast then we go on a river cruise
And presentation dinner tomorrow night
Now I am off to bed 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔
Brisbane bowling trip day 7

Today I got up at 7-00 to have breakfast
And I went up to my room to brush my teeth
And then I hopped in the bus
And went to the bowling centre
I didn’t have a chocolate to start the day
But, I bowled ever so badly
I tried ever so hard
But, I kept missing the strikes and spares
I wanted to play better, it is what I wanted
But, I was pathetic at playing today
I know people wanted me stop bowling scores in the 90s
But, my performance wasn’t too good
I tried hard to get strikes
But, tried too hard I guess
I got 93 again and 99 and 116
I teammates bowled much better
In many sort of ways
After a ** day of bowling
I went over to have lunch
Which was Mexican cheese nachos and a drink
I finished my lunch and went over to cheer my other
Teammates on, and I found a table, I sat down
And placed the iPad on the table, to listen to it’s the donnellys
And the French family concert
So I have their lovely music in my ears
As I watched their performances it was fun doing that
And after the concert, the bowlers were finished not much later
And we tried to go to the mall to do shopping
But the car park was too low down for our buses to down
So we went to the lions club to watch the footy
Canterbury v st George and Melbourne v Collingwood
Canterbury and Collingwood won
Two upsets 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
Then we had dinner, I had garlic prawns on rice
And a apple pie with cream and ice cream
We thanked the club staff for helping us
And they were very grateful to us 😎😎😎😎😎😃😃😃😄😄😅😅😅😅😅
We went back to hotel
And there was a choice, go to your room to watch tv
Or play charades in the lobby
I watched RBT home and away and neighbours
And we will sleep in tomorrow hoping I don’t say too many buts
Tomorrow, and now we are getting ready for bed
Overal, I know those scores aren, t good, but at least it is a great holiday. So far 😎😄😄😄😄😄😸😸😸😸😸😁😁😁😁😁🙃
Brisbane bowling trip day 8

We had a sleep in till 8-30
Then we had breakfast and
The brushed our teeth
Then I was told we are meeting at 10-45am
To go to the bowling alley
And the bus was filled with music
From grease music and other stuff
When we got to the bowling alley
I got my alley ball and shoes
And went to my lane ro bowl with Jess
And Jess got 121 and 143 and 117
I got 105 and 133 and 113
I had fun, the score was over 100
None of this nineties nonsense I got the previous 2 days
And then I asked Sandra to bring my lunch I just ordered
Over to me, it was a super toasted sandwich
AWESOME 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😍❤️😁😁😁😁😁
And I ate that meal at my lane of my second game
It was the first time in the tournament I bowled two in one day
I bowled with a Tuggeranong bowler Michelle cook
A fellow Canberran
Michelle got 113 and 92 and 73
I got 129 and 110 and 126
And then I bought an apple juice and a had some fruit
I ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️Fruit and vegetables
And we went on the party bus with groovy music on the way home
And we went back to the hotel to get ready for dinner
The dinner was an any burger night
And some of the people were very ungrateful
But at the end of the day they were tired
My next day of bowling is 1-45 on Thursday
The last squad for me, hopefully I will play well enough
And tomorrow I say this
We are off to the zoo tomorrow
Yes Australia zoo tomorrow
We are off to the zoo tomorrow
Looking at the animals play
And then we went home to our hotel
I watched home and away and neighbours
As well my roommate watched outback truckers
Till he fell asleep
And now off to bed 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😎😎😎😎😎❤️
Never down this road did I sing within a tune
Never while I wandered
did I ever think of you
Ever as I walked, I ached right down to bone
Never once your name is whispered
Walking too far from home

Break the spirit spill the wine
flood the river before my time
You can't predict the future when you can't see the past
I yearn for the groove and the rest of the **** that will never last

Take me down I simply do not care
We rebound with others in which we simply do compare

The Summer is gone now
its here for you
Spring is my jester
now I'm playing the shrew

I'll keep on walking until the end of day
With no companion
nor fair sense of play
Just walking down this endless path
Not leaving a trace for others to mark

No telling story where I might have laid
No fleeting glory in this trek I've made
I'll not speak outside the lines
as I walk on down
this great divide

Sit you down with a drink to sip
but beware the bottomless of the cup
for degradation that way lays
as noted by walking
these endless days

Tomorrows a birch boy the **** never seems to end
Old friends past
no trace remains
Happiness is a grand disillusion so let's not pretend

In those pines down
in that humid breeze
is where the past does exist
Buired are my thoughts
somewhere unmarked
is the grave underneath the leaves

From Carolina to Brisbane the weather's different
and always the same
Words passed between poems stories are all just different solutions to the exact duplicate game

No one knows where the wind blows
driving needles from the pines into veins that are on fire
But we keep on walking
Bare feet on black tar
Walking on until we tire
Me and Helen have that rare ability to do what we do that suits the other perfectly its always a true blast writing with her
Ian Beckett Mar 2014
1,000 miles from the Merry Christmas muzak in Port Moresby
Fat Brisbane taxi philosopher’s poor mouth moaning season
Navan road Sydney AMEX girl pining for the cold in Dublin
Along with traditional stuffing of turkey ham and trimmings.  

10,000 miles to London via sticky Bangkok “Merry Clistmas”
And cattle class envy of First class lounge showers mid-flight
But Jetlag is the same nightmare at both ends of the plane
As we fly across the universe to be home for Christmas.

1,000,000 people flying to their friends and families
Do all those sad, glad, bad, mad once-a-year reunions
Make it to Happy New Year without killing each other
Resolving to be prosperous, viceless and happy again?
a rumor is circulating in gardening circles
on the continent of England
the said rumor has traveled along a long vine
to the down under land

we the vegetable growers of Brisbane
are very disturbed about what we've heard
to us the rumor sounds rather absurd

we've taken it upon ourselves
to send a letter to the British Garden Society
asking them if the rumor has any propriety

sometimes a story
can be misrepresented
especially when the details of it
aren't correctly presented
we're seeking clarification
from those who have the right oil
as to whether the rumor
has any truth in the soil

this is the rumor that has been doing the rounds
and it relates to the High Grove grounds
a Yorkshire man who was sight seeing there
has said that he saw Charles the regal heir
talking to the garden slugs and snails
whilst walking amid the lettuce and kale
we know that his highness loves chatting to the trees
and he's often spoken to the earthworms and bees

we're totally confounded to hear of him
talking to garden pests
and we're hoping of this behavior
the Prince will soon divest
Canberra Canberra the team to beat they won 3-1 in the last to bring them to the grand
The crowd in Perth are very sad
Canberra are through to the grand final against Brisbane
Everybody moves everybody grooves
Canberra are the best
And they are prepared to say
Bring on Brisbane beat the bandits
The cavalry are playing well
And they are still apart of the comp
You see as the pitcher pitches
The ball to try and defend this little lead
Go the mighty Canberra
Rah rah rah
Come on Canberra
The fun is just beginning
The championship is just around the corner
Let’s get down and boogaloo dudes
GO CAVALRY there is a little queen song which will
Get you through
Cavs are the champions we hope
They sre only 3 or three wins away so cool
Cavs are the champions
They are the mighty Cavalry
The grand final has one of your hands on the trophy let’s make it two


Sent from my iPhone
Miss Saitwal Oct 2018
Spill the sass in your throat,
Sit in that infectious boat,
and swallow the fire like a Mod 90's Caeser.

Pull that rope of impossibilities,
and swing to the door of happiness,
like the enchanting fireworks in Brisbane.

Climb the ladder of odds,
and kiss the pole of awkwardness,
like Beyonce dropping jaws with her moves.

Misread, mistaken, misled by faith,
and drinking a glass full of honesty,
like you own your mistakes & fantasies.

Funny fulfilled fantasies,
and anonymous swallowed fears,
like a diamond over an opaque rock.
Kratos Jan 2017
I look back, was it all worth it?
Saying good bye at the airport pretending like it wasn't going to be our last.

I'm walking to my car holding back my tears, almost lost it.
You got on that plane, didn't look back.

On my way back to Clear Lake I pull off to the side of the road, almost lost it.
You land in Brisbane, didn't look back.

I walk into our apartment look into your room, almost lost it.
You're home now, didn't look back.

I sent you something in the mail, must of lost it.
You're seeing someone now, did you look back?

It's New Year's Eve
I'm here
You're there
I'm alone
You're far from it
I lost it
And now I can't look back
a rumor is circulating in gardening circles
 on the continent of England
the said rumor has traveled along a long vine
to the down under land

we the vegetable growers of Brisbane
are very disturbed by what we've heard
to us the rumor sounds rather absurd

we've taken it upon ourselves
to send a letter to the British Garden Society
asking them if the rumor has any propriety

sometimes a story
can be misrepresented
especially when the details of it
aren't correctly presented
we're seeking clarification
from those who have the right oil
as to whether the rumor
has any truth in the soil

this is the rumor that is doing the rounds
and it relates to the High Grove grounds
a Yorkshire man who was sight seeing there
has said that he saw Charles the regal heir
talking to the garden slugs and snails
whilst walking amid the lettuce and kale
we know that his highness loves chatting to the trees
and has often spoken to the earthworms and bees
we're totally dumbfounded to hear
of him talking to garden pests
and we're hoping of this behavior
the Prince will soon divest

— The End —