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Anthony Armetta Nov 2017
Into deep depths, dependent on breadth,
redlining death, lingual flexing.
Thread the new lead, fed on white bread,
a pencil pretends it's not vexing

Next thing you know, end of the show,
red curtains flow, script continues.
Wish we could grow, emotions stow,
sadness, the foe, deep within you.

A sin you believed, your conscience relieved,
the consequence, leave all your values.
No time to grieve, train's gonna leave,
could you retrieve it, or shall you?

Wailing below us, the truth hides.
It's not what we think, or believe.
It's not what we see, or think it'll be,
It's not even real, but the light within-

She,
Is a light.
She,
Is an angel
She,
Doesn't fight
She,
remains faithful
We,
aren't alright.
We,
aren't going.
We,
mustn't try,
We,
cannot go where she needs us to be


A drink

The wizened barman pours another drink
The waiting patron grasps and gulps it down
The barman says, "Now what is it you think
you'll find in that brew, but not in this town?"

The drunk says, "Man, you'd laugh if I told you,
The reason I'm so broken down and cold."
Barman says, "Try me, talk until you're blue."
The drunk says, "Have a seat then, first I've told."

The barman takes a seat and he looks on.
The drunkard pauses, sips, and draws a breath.
The barman tilts his head. "Is something gone?"
The drunkard nods, "I caused my own wife's death."

They sit in silence, the barman stands up.
He sits back down and pours himself a cup.

"You aren't the first to come here drowned in blue."
The barman tilts the bottle back upright.
The drunkard shakes his head, "If that were true,
I'd like to meet the ones who share my plight."

The barman says, "Now, I'm the first you told,
but do you think that means you'll tell yet more?"
The barman, seeing sadness, "I won't scold,
but men who share your plight are in a war."

The drunk says, "War? You must elaborate."
The barman laughs, "It's war within themselves."
He glances at the clock, "It's getting late,
last call for liquor." He points to his shelves.

The two men drank until the morning came.
And, left alone, he stroked a picture frame.
Donall Dempsey Jul 2015
Two fictional characters
walk into a bar

in Malta
( * Marsaxlokk - to be precise ).

"To...be....tooo beee. . ."
stammers Hamlet.

"Oh fer Gawd's sake...two beers!"
J. Alfred Prufrock snaps.

"You really milk that
"To be or not..." thingy."
J.A.P. scolds Hamlet.

"Tsk...tsk!" Hamlet tsk tsks.
( sticking his tongue out ).

Two Cisks are plonked
down before them.

"No...I am not Prince Hamlet or
was meant to be..!"
J.A.P. quotes him self.

"Awww fer Jaysus sake...loooook
just for the fun of it...the gas of it

we swop
texts!"

Hamlet interrupts Prufrock's
protestations.

"Ohhhh....o.....K?"
Prufrock ponders somewhat doubtfully.

And, so:
Hamlet the Dane

( for yea it is indeed he)
dares

(1) to eat a peach (2) wear the bottoms of his white
flannel trousers rolled (3) parts his hair behind even

(4) dares
to aks

the overwhelming question

"( Oh, do not ask, what is it! )"

Oh & (5) gets to hear
( ** ** ** )

"...the mermaids singing...."

Prufrock "Hum...."
kills the king.

Becomes the king.

Beds.
Weds
Ophelia.

" Buzz buzz...come come..go...go!"

"It's a very
foreshortened
Hamlet...I know

but - what the heck!

"See..? slurps Hammy
". . . now, that wasn't so bad...was it?"

"Another Cisk?"
"Naw...I'll have a Becks!"

"Jaysus Prufrock now
...what's up?"

"Don't know..."mutters J.A.P.
wearing a frothy beer moustache.

"HURRY UP PLEASE...IT'S TIME!"
roars the barman in Maltese.

"I can connect nothing
with...nothing!"
Prufrock almost sobs.

"Like that time
on Margate sands..."

Hamlet cuts him curtly off.

"Don't even go...there!"

"But I still get that squirmy
...you know...feeling

we are just
fragments of

the imagination of
some *
long haired Irish poet

sunning himself by
the waters of

the shimmering waters of
a Sliema hotel pool

...up up in the clouds!

Hamlet sighs.

"Yeah, me too
spooky...innit?"

Hamlet looks behind him
checking for what isn't

there. . .

"Ahhhh well, never mind eh?"

Prufrock attempts an attempt
at being cheerful.

Fails miserably.

"Let us go, then
you and I...

when the evening is spread out
against the sky..."

Like a patient etherised upon a table!
they both sing outta time and outta tune

stumbling one
into the other.

A long hair Irish poet
smiles as he watches them

go.

"Għaġġel fil-għoli...wasal iż-żmien JEKK JOGĦĠBOK!"
the barman roars.

NOTES

Pronounced MAR SA SCHLOCK. Those Maltese Xs being really SHs in disguise.

* Pronounced CHISK but the new barman is obviously new to the language and pronounces it TSK which makes him think that is what our two fictional characters are ordering.

Not to be confused with mobile texting but rather the literary texts of which both of them owe their existence.

*
The play bounded in a nutshell as it were.

One Donall Gearld Oliver Denis Dempsey is a good example of this sort.

* The No. 1 song all over Heaven...beating Sparks THE NO. 1 SONG ALL OVER HEAVEN  to the top spot.

** "Għaġġel fil-għoli...wasal iż-żmien JEKK JOGĦĠBOK!" Once again the new Irish barman hasn't got his tonsils around the Maltese lingo and comes out with this terrible mish mash of the typical barman's cry.
hand me a whiskey
Mr Barman
hand me a whiskey
as quick as you can
all the answers
to my life's somersaults
will be found
in its soothing malt

hand me a whiskey
it'll fix everything
hand me a whiskey
it'll fill my bruised skin

I'll be numbed
but that's okay
a shot of whiskey
helps me through the day

hand me a whiskey
Mr Barman
hand me a whiskey
as quick as you can
all the answers
to my life's somersaults
will be found
in its soothing malt

the mountains of worries
I've had will fade
with a glass of whiskey
as my aid
so don't keep me waiting
for that drink
Mr Barman you can
iron out all my chinks
my world is collapsing
in on me
all I want is a little taste
of whiskey
I can't face the day
without a drop
it is my
most important prop

hand me a whiskey
Mr Barman
hand me a whiskey
as quick as you can
hand me a whiskey
Mr Barman
hand me a whiskey
as quick as you can
all the answers
to my life's somersaults
will be found
in its soothing malt

hand me a whiskey
it'll fix everything
hand me a whiskey
it'll fill my bruised skin
I'll be numbed
but that's okay
a shot of whiskey
helps me through the day

hand me a whiskey
Mr Barman
hand me a whiskey
as quick as you can
all the answers
to my life's somersaults
can be found
in its soothing malt

the mountains of worries
I've had will fade
with a glass of whiskey
as my aid
so don't keep me waiting
for that drink
Mr Barman you can
iron out all my chinks
my world is collapsing
in on me
all I want is a taste
of whiskey
I can't face the day
without a drop
it is my most important
prop

hand me a whiskey
Mr Barman
hand me a whiskey
as quick as you can
Hitting the eject
I get the hell away from here
and parachute into one more beer, a tonic at the end of a day when the shimmering heat in your eyes make you sway.
...and what would I say to another one?
I'd say, 'go on, a beer won't hurt'
the barman butts in,
but I,
being curt
ignore him and take a seat in the 'snug'
which as you may know is the one room in a pub where you can hug a pint all night long.
It is not too long and then the barman walks in with another pint of beer and a very dry gin,
he hands me the pint which I could not refuse
then settles himself down to tell me what's new in the news
and I let him sit in with his gin, and begin to think, I should not have come here, even though the beer is on draught,the barman's daft
and I get no peace
there is no release from the rigours of the day
I say to the barman,
'goodnight jack'
But I won't be back.
until I'm thirsty at sixty or sixty at six thirty..and I've enough of the alcohol stuff anyway.
Some people come and go in our lives without incident, while others leave an indelible mark. H was one without compromise - and quite often without humility, displaying flaws so apparent on a single meeting that he may as well have had them printed on a t-shirt or pamphleted around the area wherever he went to avoid anyone having to discover just what a heinous ******* he really was.

Conversely, he was also the most unfailingly generous person I’ve ever known when it came to noticing the actual or potential for good in others. A complete dichotomy of one seemingly split down the middle, irreconcilable in so many ways.

H also made me laugh like no-one else and some of the stupid things he did continue to. One evening, he decided he wanted a chicken club sandwich from the Oakley Court Hotel (famous as the exterior for the Frank N. Furter castle from ‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show’). It soon became apparent that absolutely NOTHING but this particular sandwich would do.

The hotel wasn’t far from H’s house, but neither of us could drive owing to having been revoltingly drunk since lunchtime, so we called a taxi and took a Tupperware box with us.

On arriving at the hotel, making it very clear the taxi driver should wait for us, we stumbled into the bar, ordered a round and requested chicken club sandwiches to go. The barman stared at us as though we were from another planet.

‘You are guests at the hotel’? he enquired, through narrowed eyes.

‘No,’ said H, ‘We have recently arrived from Uranus and would like to sample your earth food’.

That attitude, I asserted, wasn’t going to get us club sandwiches on any day of the week.

‘I apologise for my butler,’ I said, ‘He’s just got out of prison and his manners have lapsed. Please could we have two rounds of your delicious chicken club sandwiches’? Proffering the Tupperware to prove we didn’t intend to stay after slamming back the ***** tonics we’d just ordered, I added: ‘We’ve brought our own box’.

The barman wasn’t having any of it. ‘We do not bring food to the bar after nine pm’, he intoned. H checked his watch, which he never remembered to wind. ‘It’s only just gone nine’, he argued, then gestured, foolishly to the clock on the wall behind the bar that showed half past ten.

‘Sir, I’m sorry,’ replied the barman, clearly being nothing of the sort and having recognised our insobriety the moment we’d entered the bar. ‘No food served in the bar after nine pm’.

‘But we don’t want it served in the bar’, said H. ‘We just want it placed into our lunchbox here’. Snatching the Tupperware from my hands, he looked around, presumably for the door to the kitchen. ‘Would it help if I just popped along to the kitchen myself and asked them’?

The barman shrieked with a sort of strangled cry ‘Uh, sir, NO’. He regained composure, attempting, no doubt to tamp down the fear of whatever mayhem might ensue when this ****** idiot got punched by the chef for appearing in his kitchen demanding takeaway sandwiches.

Unperturbed, H pressed on. ‘If we were residents, would that make a difference’?

The barman pushed our drinks, reluctantly, towards us. ‘You would call room service, Sir’.

H shot me a look. ‘No’. I said, firmly, ‘We’re not getting a room just to order chicken club sandwiches, that’s ridiculous’.

‘Is it’? asked H, seeking definitive clarification.

‘Yes’, I said, ‘That would make a chicken club sandwich, like, three hundred pounds’.

H considered this for moment. ‘Be a ******* good sandwich for three hundred quid though, right’?

Querously, H negotiated for a full ten minutes with the seemingly immoveable stance of the barman, and had now begun addressing him by the name on his badge. ‘Kurt, what’s the reasoning for not serving food in the bar after nine o’clock? Give me something I can work with’.

Pondering for a moment, Kurt had the good grace to fully consider the question. ‘Because lots of non-residents use the bar after nine pm’, he gestured to the empty room behind us, ‘The kitchen does not have full staff at this time and could not handle all the orders from the bar as well as room service. Bar patrons would see the sandwiches and want them too’.

H made the face that meant Kurt’s perfectly reasonable logic was about to be ****** sky-high.

‘Kurt’, he began, ‘How many patrons are in the bar this evening’?

Kurt blinked, like a mouse asked where the cat is. He even looked around as though there may have been patrons hiding behind curtains or under tables. ‘Just… the two of you, Sir’.

H leaned over the bar, looking left to right in a conspiratorial fashion. ‘Just the two of us’, he said, ‘And we’re not going to tell anyone if you ask the kitchen to make us chicken club sandwiches. Scouts honour’, he finished, attempting a salute and smacking himself in the eye.

Kurt looked defeated. He was already reaching for the phone to call the kitchen.

‘On one condition’, he said, ‘You must sit around the corner where no-one can see you’.

‘Kurt, my man,’ said H, ‘I’ll sit on a ******* spike if necessary’.

Two hours and two bottles of sauvignon blanc later, we realised the taxi was still waiting on the drive outside.

As it turns out chicken club sandwiches do cost nearly three hundred pounds after all.
It occurred to me today to write up this silly little story as I recall an old, now-departed friend who always went to the daftest lengths to get what he wanted.
Mitchell Dec 2012
She stood up against the wooden bar lit by a stale football field that shined florescent green and highlighted polyester blue like a muse of Van Gogh or Galileo. Her hair ran down the nape of her neck like a ****** waterfall and the light of the bar highlighted her sphinx like eyes as she turned and caught his eye. He stood at a small table away from the main bar with a couple of friends who were telling stories of their old college days and he, half-listening, quickly looked away, faking to scratch his eye, for he knew he had been caught looking at the back of her and she, with her women's intuition of being observed and knowing this, kept looking and he knowing the only way not to show he had been caught was to look away quickly and very obviously; like a bad actor caught dumb and silent, clueless of their next line. They blushed and shared the heat of embarrassment in their cheeks with the sounds of worn dollar bills slapping hard against the smooth wood of the bar, the bar man eyeing it angrily as cigarette smoke surrounded them and slowly drifted up like a lost soul toward the ceiling and the piano man, eyes tight shut played for everyone there when no-one cared to listen, all underneath the dim light of the bar as they strained to look away from one another, trying to find something they could put their focus upon, but, at the same time, wanting very much to look back and have their eyes meet by mistake all over again.

He focused on the design of the bathroom placards that were in the right corner of the tiny bar where you had to turn sideways and touch shoulder's with every soul inside just to get a drink. He feigned interest in the bronze design of the men's bathroom: a tiny boy looking down at his pecker as he ****** a 1/2 inch thick stream into what the man gathered to be a sunflower ***. The boy was thrusting his hips forward, both of his hands on his side, and he showed no smile, no grin of satisfaction or victory, just a stark, blank face, as if he were thinking "I am peeing in this ***. That is all." The women's bathroom sign was of a young girl with the same kind of *** the boy had been ******* in, but it was missing the sunflower and was replaced by the *** of the girl. She stared up into the sky and into the ceiling lights and was dramatically reaching for a butterfly or bird - he couldn't make out which - something with wings and made him think of a basic metaphor that this poor little girl just wants to get off the *** and be free like the birds and butterflies and clouds in the wide blue sky.

She focused on the man's shoes. She looked at the black shine and the pristine black shoe laces, all looking like everything had just been purchased that day. "There is not a single scuff on them and the way this man cuffs his pants only a single turn," she thought to herself, "Tells me he has something of a style on him". Not so run of the mill. Something special. Something of interest.* But then, she was annoyed by the cuff of the pants because she remembered that was what all the schoolboys in her prep school would do when the day was rainy or the boys rode their bikes home from school or they were nerds. The memory immediately turned her off of the man all together, but luckily, she put her gaze back on the jet-black, seemingly un-touched leather that told her success, class, and security.

The man heard a loud Cheer's!" from his table, abruptly bringing him out of his distraction. He was forced to turn and as he did, he made sure not to look up. He kept his eyes on the table and looked for the half-full beer with the worn Budweiser coaster underneath it. He could see from the his top periphery that she was still facing him but she was looking down at something toward the floor. He fumbled with his large hands for his glass and panned his eyes up slightly. The woman, seeing the movement at the table, looked up. She stared back to where she had first caught him looking at her and waited. The man felt her looking at him and in the same instant, saw the faded Budweiser coaster and reached for his beer. He picked the glass up and as the second Cheer! was yelled, he clashed his glass against all the others, all the while keeping his head not toward his friend's faces, but turned in the direction of the bar toward the girl. He smiled at her as he lowered his glass, not taking a drink. His friend slapped him on the back and told him," You gotta' drink after the cheers or its bad luck," and so he did, still staring dumbly at her as he did. She nodded at him with a self-conscious and embarrassed grin, raised her nearly gone low-ball glass of gin and tonic and tipped it toward him and turned around to face the bar.

"I"ll stand here and wait for him to come up to me," she thought, "And if he doesn't the man is a coward and a louse and not worth my time. I have looked twice now and there is some rule in some magazine that I read somewhere, that if you look twice at a man that it is sign, not a coincidence. No, it has a purpose and though I barely know what reason I want this man to look at me other then to get a drink out of him and maybe some conversation, I am certain I have looked twice, maybe even three times. Yes. I have looked at him and I have made my interest known and now I must wait for him to either come or stay with his drunken friends. They look like frat boys cheering like that. They look like drunken, silly frat boys that wouldn't know the first thing about chivalry. Hell, they probably couldn't even spell the ****** word." She laughed under her breath and smiled maliciously to herself and caught her own reflection in the mirror and, for an moment, wanted to quickly look away. Her face did not frighten her, for she was a beautiful woman, not her skin, which was milky white with the faintest and gentlest dash of rouge on each cheek, nor her chocolate colored curls that bounded like boulder's down a hillside. She turned away from a look upon her eye she had not seen or had recognized in a very long time. Her eyes were frightened.

"Frightened?" she wondered.

The man put his beer glass on the table on top of the coaster. The foam rested at the bottom of the cup like the thin layer of ice that blows over a frozen lake, barely there at all passing with the wind. He stared at her back and liked how she leaned on her right hip and put the toe of her left high-heel to the ground, rocking the nose of the shoe back and forth like she was thinking about something playfully frivolous. Behind him, the noise of his friends became a hollow echo, drowned out by the draw of this woman. She swung her left heel back and forth like a pendulum trying to hypnotize him. Someone touched his shoulder but he shrugged the hand away as in this echo chamber he could only hear the music change tracks on the juke box. The song had changed to an old Ottis Redding song and there was nothing else in the world that he wanted to listen to in that moment. As he watched her, leaning into the bar seemingly all alone, no boyfriend or girlfriend in sight, he saw her raise her glass to the barman and knew she had something by the gentle nod of the back of her head. He then saw her point with her left finger and tap the rim of the glass. Her drink was empty. She wanted another drink. He would buy her another drink.

"There is nothing in this world that a man is more responsible for than getting a woman like this a drink," he nodded, thinking to himself and trying to pick up his courage,"One that plays with my heart like a kitten would a spool of yarn, and yet also like a vulture who would peck out the eyes of a dead man in the desert. This is nothing more then that obligation. A rule passed down from man to man, from age to age, where chivalry was not for the base reason to lay with the woman, but to honor them, praise them lightly as the rain from a heavy mist and show them to the pedestal every woman, whether they wish to admit it or not, do wish for, sincerely do at least once in there life." He readjusted his belt and realigned his shirt that had gotten crooked after the celebratory cheer and thought some more,"I'm not going to do that here, this pedestal stuff. This is more like a step toward that pedestal. Yes. A step toward the shrine she wants to trust she deserves and will one day end up on. And this shrine is all cast and painted in the blurry french film noir of dream, is it not? Aren't dreams the only thing we hope to one day come true? How often - when and if they do come true - they can sometimes disappoint and eventually turn sour like a bad orange. I hope she is drinking and that wasn't just a tonic water. If this woman doesn't drink I don't think any of this will be worth anything at all."

She stood there serene and angelic, the hand that held her drink now resting on the base of the bar. Behind the man, he heard the chatter of his friends and the drone of football scores and player updates coming from the ten or more televisions that hung from the ceiling. Someone reached out to touch his shoulder but missed him as he left the table. His name then echoed behind him but soon the sound evaporated as dew does that rests on blades of grass in a summer morning to a summer afternoon. There was only her and her smell that had drifted to his table and shrouded him with the scent of white chocolate and smoke and her delicate, porcelain hand that had held up the drink shyly but not weakly, in passing demand without that demanding quality drunk people can get like at bars sometimes. He approached her, hovered behind her, but she did not turn, and then came up to the bar to lean into. He did not turn to look at her, though he wanted to very badly, but looked down at her low-ball glass with two half-melted ice cubes and a used lime. The smell of gin came from the glass and the man smiled to himself and put his hand up to signal the bartender.

"If this man orders his drink first and walks back to that table with all of his drunken friends, I am giving up men all together," the woman thought to herself," * Tonight and forever! If he can put his hand up and not even turn to look at me, as I was doing, I thought, to be very flirtatious but gentle, then I see no reason at all to keep going with men. They are barbarians that only want to eat, drink, sleep, and fornicate with women that are easy and provide no real challenge at all in their life. If he wants it easy, he can have it as easy as he wants, but not with me. No sir. Not with me ever. Not with me for a night, an hour, a minute, or even a second."

The bartender, a stout slightly overweight man that was a little over forty with streaks of grey in his thin, short-cut hair, looking very much like he should be home reading with a nice cup of tea by his side rather than in the bar serving drinks to stranger's, approached the man and asked him what he would like.

"Two gin and tonics please," the man said, "With a slice of lime and four ice-cubes in each."

"And what kind of gin, sir?"

The man turned to the woman, "What label do you drink?" he asked.

"Pardon me?" she stuttered startled, her eyebrows raised.

"Your drinking gin, aren't you?" He nodded his head toward the woman's empty glass. The tiny lines of transparent lime skin floated on top of the water that had gathered from the melting ice-cubes.

"Yes, I am. I was just about to order."

"I'll get this round and you'll get the next one."

"Any gin is fine."

The man turned to the bartender," Tanqueray, please bartender."

He nodded and went to make the drinks.

"Your very perceptive," the woman said as she turned to face him.

"I try."

"I saw you from across the bar, but was afraid to walk up to your table for fear of getting ambushed by all of your friends. Those are your friends, right?"

"Yes," he nodded as he looked over his shoulder at them, "Old college friends all with old stories of college that, truthfully, bring me little or no joy to even hear."

"Then why come at all?" she asked, "You seem smart enough to know that if you meet up with old anything, you'll be hearing about the old times all night."

"I was forced to come."

"Someone getting divorced?"

"No," he laughed, "The opposite. Married."

"Well, I hope it's not you or this would look very bad if your fiance walked in."

"And why's that?"

She clicked her tongue and turned to look at the shelves stocked with every kind of liquor. The bottles reflected the soft orange glow of the lights that circled the bar and the colors of the television screens. The man continued to look at the woman who had turned her back on him and caught their reflection in a bottle of Jack Daniel's. He waited for a response, but she stood there silent, knowing she was playing with him. Behind him, his friends were growing louder and a tray of shots had found its way to their table. The waitress who had brought the drinks, polite and with a smile, asked them to try and keep it down. They shouted "YES'S and screamed "YEAH'S" with moronic smiles on their faces, their heads nodding up and down like a dog playing fetch. The waitress giggled a thank and walked away shaking her head with disgust when she was out of sight.

"Well," she said,"You did just order two gin and tonics and I think if your fiance walked in with you chatting with me with the same drink in both of our hands, I think she would be a little upset. I know I would be."

"Perhaps we could act like we are old grammar school friends and just happened to run into one another?"

"Well, that would be a lie."

"Yes, that would be a lie."

"Which would mean we were hiding something from said wife."

"And what would that be?"

"That you approached me after I looked at you, perhaps the look from me wasn't flirtatious, maybe I thought you looked familiar, like I had seen you somewhere, and you came up to me and ordered me a drink and started a conversation with me, much like we are doing right now."

"What's wrong with conversation?" The bartender approached them and placed the two drinks in front of the man. The man took out his wallet without losing his gaze on the woman, took out a twenty and slid it toward the bartender. The bartender took the twenty, paused for a moment to see if the man wanted any change, but left when he saw he didn't want any by not moving.

"Conversation can lead to very dangerous things," the woman said playfully and wise.

"Your here by yourself and your not stupid; someone is going to come up to talk to you."

"And your that somebody?"

"I'm sure I'm not the first one tonight."

"Your sweet."

"I try," he said as he slid the drink over to here,"Your drink."

"What should we drink too?" She asked and raised her glass, the light above them reflecting in the ice-cubes and thick glass of the high-ball.

"Conversation," he said proudly and with a smile, "And the danger that it brings."

They clinked their glasses together, their eyes never leaving one another, and they both took a long drink.

"I'm not here with anybody and I'm not expecting anybody tonight either," the woman said.

"What's your name?"

"Why?"

"I want to be able to tell my friends I met a very interesting woman, but they won't believe me if I don't give them a name."

"I'm standing right here, silly. Go and tell them you met the most interesting woman in your entire life, look over at me when they ask you what my name is, then point over to me and I'll wave."

"You'll be here?"

"I'll be here."

"Promise?"

"Go, go, go," she repeated, pushing him back toward his table, "You bought me a drink, didn't you? The least I can do is wave to your drunken college friends."

The man walked back to his table, glancing quickly over his shoulder, trying to hide it, before he reached the table. He arrived to all of them drunk, beer spilt on the table and an ashtray full of punched out cigarettes and ground up cigars. Every one of them were rocking back and forth with each other, their arms sloppily hung around their neighbor's shoulders, their eyes blood shot with their mouth half-cracked open barely breathing in the smoky, beer smelling air. The man struggled to wedge his way into the circle, and when he did, he tried to get the groups attention by screaming an
John Savage Dec 2011
In the dream Ginsberg tells me I am beautiful,
he moves his stool a little closer to mine
to see me in the dull glow of the bar.
I sip at my cocktail as he takes Howl from his briefcase,
tells me Jack loves my baby-blue eyes.
Somewhere at the back of the bar
I can hear the jazz men munching sandwiches,
chatting to the girls who bring them empty beer glasses
for coins to be dropped into, for requests to fill.
The old poet with his Buddhist waistcoat
wants to change the world with his masturbatory atom bomb,
wants the President of the United States
to be silent, to be silent, to be
silent.

So Ginsberg calls the barman Moloch,
wants him to find himself in a wounded page
filled with Christmas catalogues that make the children sing.
It’s a bald-guy thing he tells the beer puller,
‘Look at the jazz boys **** the metal,
sweet sounds, Jimmy The Joe makes , sweet sounds.’
The barman wants the music to end
just long enough for him to miss the woman he loves.
‘So get your heart in a sonnet,’ Ginsy tells him
‘Get your heart in a ******* sonnet, gypsy caravan boy.’
I put my fingers to my temples, try to bring the poems together,
try to imagine the perfect microphone in the Kaddish hand.
Tell me another three line joke, Alan,
tell me the one about the Arabic love call you never heard
when your papyrus was just desert dust.
You know the one, Allen.  You know the one.

The jazz boys find their lips as Ginsberg finds his tear ducts;
I want him to chant his evolution into the mind of the sax solo.
‘It’s just us,’ he tells me, ‘we’re saving the world, Johnny Boy,
the greatest minds of my generation were ****** up the ***
so you ungrateful rhyming ******* could put colour on your book covers;
you see Lawrence throwing his spanners into the printing press?
That’s our little revolution: cherubic haiku page numbers
just waiting for the computer evolution to do something worthwhile.’
So Alan sorts his papers and gives that little attention-seeking-cough
the barman has been waiting all night for.
He pours the drinks, cuts the lime,
lets the poets supply their own anecdotes for this one-night-stand
that’s going to set every ******* pulse racing,
every heartbeat breaking for the goatee beard going grey.

In the dream Ginsberg tells me I am beautiful.
I tell him his spotlight is shining.
Mateuš Conrad Apr 2016
perchance an epic was necessary, to consolidate the scattered thinking, and indeed, once a certain life, and was lived with a cherishing heart, the heart broke, and life turned from adventures to a more studious approach, and in here, a comfort was found, never before imagined explorations - of course sometime a tourist in the arts does come, but such tourists quickly fade, and the pursuit becomes more enshrined - to levitated towards epics is perhaps the sole reason for the cherished memory of some - and how quickly all can revolve around a searched for theme, after many incorporations were minded - as one to have travelled the Mediterranean, another to have been eaten by the great mandarin silkworm of the library of Kangxi - heading along the silk route with spices - indeed the great mandarin silkworm of the library of emperor Kangxi; as i too needed a bearing - to inspect the trickster of lore and the godly blacksmith of the north.

by instruction - an accumulation of the the zephyrs
into a vector, headed north,
toward the gluttonous murk of ice, jesting
with aches to the bulging and mesmerised crescendo
of adrift stars captured in the tilting away -
to think of an epic, to keep out-of-time of
spontaneity and thistle like swiftness in the last
days of summer, that Mercury brings the new
tides of the tetravivaldis -
   brought by the λoγος of a γoλας -
for reasons that satisfy the suntan copper of
the ***** - the λoγος of a γoλας - yet not toward
Monte Carlo or any hideout of money well invested
and greedily spent for a charm -
no, north bids me welcome from afar -
this norðri fløkja, this    ᚾᛟᚱᛞᚱᛁ       ᚠᛚᚢᚲᛃᚨ -
by my estimate, i could not take the nonsense
of numerology of a certain specialisation,
i took what was necessary, i pillaged the temple
of Solomon, perhaps that the dome of the rock
might stand - with its glistening dome and
its sapphire mosaics - i don't belong among
palm trees and date trees - hence i turned to
deciphering and subsequently encrypting -
as i have already with *ᚱᚨᛒᛖ
:
the journey of an Æsir through a birch forest
on a horse.
                    with this method in mind:
(a) ᚾᛟᚱᛞᚱᛁ       (b) ᚠᛚᚢᚲᛃᚨ:

(a)
the need to acquire possessions accumulating
into an estate, is a journey encountered
day by day, although a journey on ice

(b)
cattle only thrive near water,
auruchs did not, and hence illuminated
their way to extinction,
         by way of the Æsirs' harvest
(to eat up diversity of life, and create
a godless world of man).

my escape route came from ᚠ - mirroring שִׂ
although the former standing, the latter sitting
down, although the former fathomable
to my pleasure, the latter unfathomable
to ascribe numbers to letters for patterns -
i seek no patterns, hence my sight turned to
the northern sights, and meanings amplified.
                
the greeks were intended to explore abstracts,
having stated a triangle
they invented the ² symbol and what not,
it was because
they didn't bother extracting a phonetic unit
from something definite,
they classified such endeavours barbarian,
what reasonable greek of 13% reason and
87% reality would extract alpha from
the sound you made when
saying ansur (ᚨᚾᛋᚢᚱ) - i.e. attention -
i.e. deriving a definite sound differentiation
for alphabetical rubrics from a definite thing
(in whatever classification that might be)?
the greeks used the alphabetical rubric of
crafting a definite sound from an indefinite thing,
so they said: acronym, aardvark, assumption,
                       α                 α      α     α,
then they said α² - there are no antonyms -
but indeed there were, hence the Trojan nation
settling in the boot, that's Italy,
the Romans escalated the greek theory
beyond taking out a definite sound distinguished
from other distinguishable sounds,
abstracting what the alphabetic sound assured
a list under alpha: assumption, advantage,
acorn, etc. -
the latins were the first atomist after the greeks,
the greeks believed in atoms, but had no
microscopes to prove atoms existed,
such scientific faith found no parallel;
the latins ensured this was true,
ending with castrato sing-along -
the latins furthered abstracting sounds from
definite orientation which the greeks did
working from ice into iota,
the latins just sang i, i, i -
of course chiral behaviourism of such dissection
emerged - hatch a plan, plan a chisel -
it's very piquant i mind to let you know -
the greeks abstracted nouns in order to create
the alphabet, the barbarians still used
proper nouns to speak proper, the greeks
thus created synonyms and antonyms to add
to the spice of life - after all,
not deriving definite alphas from
cursors that acknowledged points of origins
created diacritical stressing like comma and
semis of colon and macron, not deriving them
from definite things, shunning a helpful
vocabulary bank to an unhelpful vocabulary
banked: synonyms and antonyms the Gemini's
birth of rhetoric;
but the latins were rejected with their atomic theory
of pronunciation, since they became laden
with diacritics - punctuation marks of a different sort,
you can measure a man sprint one hundred metres,
but is that also measuring a man to say
mān or män or mán? i know that the slavic ó = u
given the scalpel opening the ensō to craft a parabola -
but it's not necessarily an accent debate
but a punctuation debate... the emergence of
the diacritic symbols above the letters is due
partly to their joy of the popes listening to
castrato operas and the fact that the romans
went too far... hence the chiral nature of certain
symbols when dittoing - the barbarians used
definite things to assert definite sounds -
the greeks used indefinite things to assert definite
sounds - mind you, if the romans became too
abstract with their little units that became engraved
with punctual accenting, then the greek letters
became laden with scientific constants as necessarily
fathered, unchanging in the pursuit of Heraclitus' flux -
for example... Pythagoras and the hypotenuse:
                            σ / κ² = α² + β² -
           or?
                             c² (ć) = a² (ą) + b² / š (bubble beep
                                                           bop barman backup hop
                                                           of shackled kakah
                                                           or systematic oscillation
                                                           for bzz via burp);
πρ² is still more stable
                                 than what the latin alphabet allows -
hence why greek phonetic encoding was used in
science, and latin phonetic encoding was used in music,
can't be one or the other - added to the fact that
latin encoding had too many spare holes with
the evolution of numbers, and greek didn't have them,
hence β-reduction in lambda calculus and F-dur and A#

the one variant of the grapheme (æ) they didn't include
among expressions: graphite and grapheme
was the variant - gravitating to an entombing
of the excess aesthetic - geresh stress -
somehow the twins match-up to a single womb:
àé vs. áè: V vs. Λ - Copernicus wrote over all
of this with the flat earth uselessness
in terms of navigation - flat earth is useless...
huh? flat earth is the only system that gave
Columbus the chance to explore the new world -
no flat earth no Columbus -
that satellite named Luna was no tool
in navigating across the Atlantic - believe me
i'm sure -
                  or that grapheme (æ) varied like statistics
or like the characters in the book of genesis
that famous adam und eve (kim and kanye):
chances came, chances went:
it was still a draw on the tongue tied decipher:
àè and áé proved another notation for plurality
was necessary, not at the beginning of the word,
but after, hence the possessive article 's,
we could have parallelism, there was a crux,
how once the chiselling of letters came about,
more economic to chisel in a V than a U,
both the same, much easier though...
almost barbaric i might say...
sigma (Σ) enigma rune e (ᛖ) - this compass
is a ******* berserker, god knows if it's
mount Everest or the Bermuda Δ

but one thing is for certain, never you mind how
a language is taught unless you mind it,
not that conversational athenian is really what
i'm aiming at - but a lesson is a lesson nonetheless,
out of interest something new,
richard von Coudenhove-Kalergi,
and what preceded him, namely pan-slavism,
just when the polish-lithuanian commonwealth
did a little Judaic trick of its own,
although snorkelling in the waters of not writing
history for less a time than israel -
you can't beat ~2000 under water - although
you could if your little tribe had an einstein
among them, or proust or spinoza, then
you could effectively become a whale, popping
an individual out from the rubble to say a polite
'hello' and 'when will the dessert be served?'
but indeed, learning a language on your own,
how to learn from scratch, the greek orthography,
and why omicron and not omega,
the give-away? sigma - purely aesthetic reason,
                             νoμισματων

                             nomismaton

omicron                                                 omega

                 you write omicron at the front
                 and omega at the back
                 pivot letter? two: σ     μ &
                 νoμι-                                -ατων
                      ­                     |
                 anything here  
                 will use o            and anything
                                              here uses ω

alike to sigma:
                          χωρας (choras, i.e. country)

sigma (ς) not sigma (σ), i.e. digitalising languages
without a clear connectivity of letters,
block-a-brick-block-a-brick-digit-digit-digit
you learn that handwriting is gone,
two options, your own aesthetic reasons now,
remember, some paired for the ease of handwritten
flow - digitalised language changes the aesthetics,
you make your own rules (considering exceptions
of oh mega mega, ergo revision -

                                       χoρας,

but still the sigma rule, others esp. o mega
you stamp on them like βλαττια, i.e. cockroaches -
κατσαρίδα                 not         κατςαρίδα

all perfectly clear when you explore plato's
dialogue from the book Θηαετητυς (as you might
have noticed, the epsilon-eta project is still
in the storage room of my imagination) -
but indeed in the dialogue, between socrates
and the "hero" of the book theaetetus -
a sample, without an essay on the theory
of knowledge -
socrates: ...'tell me theaetesus, what is Σ O?'
theaetetus: yes, my reply would be that it is
                    Σ and O.
socrates: so there's your account of the syllable,
                isn't it?
theaetetus: yes.
socrates: all right, then: tell me also what your
                  account of Σ is.
                                                             ­   (etc.
or as some might say, a shrug of the shoulders,
a hmmpf huff puff of hot air, impractical interests
and concerns - well, better the impractical
problems than practical problems, less feet
shuffling and nail-biting moments with your
tail between your legs and an army of
intellectuals working out what went wrong
and how history will solve everything by
the practical problems repeating themselves) -
you know that inane reaction - others would just say
Humphrey Bogart and nonetheless get on with it.

some would claim i was begot a second time,
not in the sixth month period of the aqua-flesh,
how did i actually related to the life aquatic,
for nine months i was taught to hold my breath,
however did this happen?
a miracle of birth? ah indeed the miracle of
a crutch for a woman - spinal deformities -
9 months, sort to speak, in water or some other
fluid - merman - a beastly innovation -
next you'll be telling me beyond this life
we turn into centaurs, given the Koran's promise -
you'd need the appetite of a breeding horse
to satiate the 72 - or thereabouts - martyr or
no martyr - 72? that's pushing it -
or as they say among children - a chance playground
without swings or sandpits, but very careless
gravitational pulling toward a certain direction;
nonetheless, they might have that i did indeed
settle of a sáttmáli                  ᛋᚨᛏᛏᛗᚨᛚᛁ
                  við         ­                  Vᛁᛞ
                  tann                         ᛏᚨᚾᚾ
                  djevul                      ᛞᛃᛖVᚢᛚ -
the hands you see, fidgety -
     hond handa grammur burtur    úr   steðgur
     ᚻᛟᚾᛞ  ᚻᚨᚾᛞᚨ  ᚷᚱᚨᛗᛗᚢᚱ   ᛒᚢᚱᛏᚢᚱ  ᚢᚱ   ᛋᛏᛖᛞᚷᚢᚱ
         the hands give an ardent pursuit
                                                 away from rest -
well not that my poems will ever reach
the islands in question - and indeed an
uneducated guess propels me - what does it matter,
λαλος babbler meant anything, indeed λαλος,
language as my own, is a language that i can
understand - and should anyone omit
disparities - a welcome revision would never tease
nor burn my eyes - but the phonetic omission
peeved me off: woad in water, ventricles in a
variety of entanglements - it's just not there -
and indeed, orthographically, if there are no more
optometric involvements of omicron's twin -
then the stance is with you to use whichever pleases,
i can't tell the difference, unless i was a pedantic
student, aged 70, with a granddaughter i wanted
to be wed teasing a millimetre's worth of
phonetic differentiation between the two -
POTATO PA'H'TAYTOE TOMATO TA'H'MAYTOE -
linguistically one's american and the other
is british, which looks like greek and latin
upside-down and in a mirror: pəˈteɪtəʊ, təˈmɑːtəʊ;
or as the spaghetti gobblers would put it:
the tetragrammaton is working on their
texan drawl (dwah! ripples in china) -
or the high-society new england ******* *******
coo with a cuckoo's load of clocks -
before being sent off to england for a respectable
education, something en route Sylvia Plath -
but not to ol' wee scoot land - ah nay - well
perhaps for a year and then talk of north european
barbarism of a deep friend pizza and mars bar.

and when descartes finished with christina
queen of sweden, she became an animate portrait
of feminine attempts at philosophising,
she was basically ostracised from society,
well, not society per se, she didn't become a stray
dog, but she forgot certain functions of
the upper tier - lazily modern man decides
to hide phenomena from understanding
individual instances, with the kantian guise
of a noumenon, hence cutting his efforts short -
indeed queen christina of sweden was ostracised
by society - only after descartes finished educating her;
and indeed to most people a little bit of sloth
equates to an amputation of some sort -
yet only with the x-files' season 2 episode 2
i've learned of the effects of prolonged alcohol
"misuse", that little boxing match in my liver?
it's not a pain as such, it's actually a hardening
of soft tissue - with prolonged alcohol exposure
soft tissue organs harden, notably the liver -
and it's not a pain, it's a hardening.
but indeed queen christina of sweden was ostracised
by her tier of socialites - i'm glad diogenes
didn't get to her, but then again a bit of cloth
goes a long way this far north -
yet unlike the encounter with napoleon by hegel
diogenes' encounter with alexander lasted longer -
which tells you the old method does no service
to a little bit of material accumulation -
but perhaps the acumen was briefer when you were
ably living in a barrel - and to think, as only
that being the sole expression, not so much
a body without organs as stated in the thesis
of anti-oedipus by deleuze and guattari -
a consideration for a body without limbs - prior
to a footprint an imprint on the mind -
carelessly now, a diarrhoea of narration -
how rare to find it - perhaps this idea of epic
poetry is a default of writing per se -
with this my whatever numbered entry i seize
to find escape in it - a lack of ambition -
a loss of spontaneity that's a demanded mechanisation -
by volume, by inaneness - to reach a single
technique accumulative zenith, and then back
into the ploughing, rustic scenery and the
never-bored animals - i rather forget such escapades -
and there i was dreaming of a grand
runic exploration - some imitable game -
some scenic routes - yet again -
LITTLE BARMAN IN THE CITY

SAYS LOOK AFTER THE LITTLE KIDDIE

HELP HIM UNDERSTAND HIS MUM

AS SHE TRIES TO HELP HIM YEAH

HELP ME HELP ME HELP HE SAID

BEFORE ANY ROBBER DESTROYS US

COME LITTLE KIDDIE COME TO ME

AND BE AS HAPPY AS CAN BE

YA SEE LITTLE KIDDIE LOOK AT ME

YA SEE YA DRINK TOO MUCH TEA

YOU NEED TO DETOX THAT LITTLE DRUG IN TEA

THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY AS CAN BE

HELP ME HELP ME HELP HE SAID

BEFORE YOUR FATHER SHUTS YOU UP

COME LITTLE KIDDIE, COME WITH ME, AND REALLY PARTY

LITTLE GARDEN OUT THE BACK OF THE PUB

OWNED BY THE REALLY RICH SNOBS

THEY WANT NOTHING FROM ME, BUT MONEY YEAH

TO MAKE THEM HAPPY AS CAN BE

HELP ME HELP HELP ME, HELP HE SAID

BEFORE THE ROBBER SHOOTS ME DEAD

COME LITTLE YOUNG DUDE COME WITH ME,

AND BE AS HAPPY AS CAN BE

BE AS HAPPY, BE AS HAPPY BE AS HAPPY AS CAN BE

HELP ME HELP ME HELP HE SAID,

THOSE OLD KODGERS, ARE BIG *******

COME LITTLE YOUNG YOUNG DUDE, PLAY WITH ME

AS HAPPY AS CAN BE
one day there was this beer drinking *****, who loved to

get drunk and be silly, you see he got his drinking vision

from his father whe drank all the time, the *****’s name is Peter

and his last name is Jorklet, and he loved to imagine life drinking

while sitting on a wing of a parrot.

You see he will sing drinking songs like 100,000 bottles of beer

on the wall and 2 fat gentlemen met in a lane, and he really loved to sing

roll out the barrel and when he sang let’s have a barrel of fun, it was really loud

so loud that his voice was heard in every pub in town, and when the barman said

let’s stop this man, he is too loud, all hell broke loose,the barman decided to go out

and make a complaint about his loud voice, when he found peter, he said, peter, your loud singing voice is electric and

ringing in my ear, and peter said *******, cause peter thought he has every right to sing, for it’s a free country

the sun is shining and the birds are singing, so why can’t i sing, then the bar manager said, yeah but, we can’t

hear all that because your voice is so loud, and then peter said to the barman

how about you give me a nice cold brown lager and the barman said, sorry, but i think you’ve had enough

because you could get aggressive if i let you have a beer now. peter said, why the hell not!

i am not drunk, it’s in my character to be this way, and you need to understand if i don’t have that beer, it will turn out worst than

if i had a beer.  but the manager said, i’m sorry, but if i let you have that beer, i will be going against everything i believe

in and peter said *******, and left the bar and was walking on the path singing

100,000 bottles of beer on the wall but his drunken mind was muddled and despite him keeping on fighting himself to remember the next number

and then he said blow it and walked the rest of the way saying nothing and finally he got home  and vomited in the toilet and then went to bed and slept for 10 hours.

when he got up he had an enormous hangover and mixed egg and whatever else  he needs to fix up a cure

.  after that he went to the school oval and whilst he was playing he saw a parrot trying to fly

with his wing and that made him think, ya know, next week i might do it again, , it’ll be fun it’ll be hard if it is like this time

but i can do it, so he took the parrot by the wing saying i will do it again that will be nice.
there was a sky show over Sydney this morning and if you are wondering

who was involved, well it was a huge party on jupiter and saturn and i was

the host i sang

hot hot hot and spicy baby

hot hot hot and really spicy baby

yeah nobody does chicken like KFC

and if you are wondering where i am, just go to Sydney and look to the sky

and look up all so high, yeah mate yeah it is so fun

yeah kick the rich snobs up the ***

you see i put this concert on to bring a bit of excitement to this city but you only saw

the lights, i can guarantee that what i say here is what the dead had a finger on

you see here is Slim Dusty with his song

it’s lonesome away from the kindred and all

on a cold sydney morning a view worth seeing

you see the people are fools right on our mother earth

because only the cosmic and the dead knows what went on

you see the barman is waiting for his stock to arrive

and it is mighty hard to get there by get in your car and drive

i told the barman give us methane oh yeah

so we dan enjoy the break in a party with methane

you see the green was the methane spilling all over sydney

but none of it was spilt, here is Robert Palmer with Addicted to love

the lights are on and Sydneym is home and the people are watching

a great light show with loads of great colours that you have ever seen

you see you can’t be seen you can’t be viewed y

you like to think that you are in a wonderful party

with me and slim dusty and many many more and the great smoky dawson

you see you will like to think that you are enjoying yourself and you are

in the way, of being addicted to love

you might as well face it your addicted to love

might as well face if your addicted to love

you might as well face it your addicted to love

oh yeah, the party is on and now here is our song duncan by slim

i would love to have a beer with duncan and he’ll have a beer with me

you see we’ll be good mates forever and we light up a party in the sky of sydney

we drink all over the country, getting ****** as we might do

i would love to have a beer with duncan cause he is our mate

i would love have a beer with baz boy, yeah i would love to have a beer with him

yeah we will drink all over this god forsaken land and in the cosmos, oh yeah mate yeah

drinking is fun with baz boy, yeah drinking is fun oh yeah

yeah i would love to have a beer with bas boy, cause he is our friend

and now here is briano alliano with fly burgers

fly burgers are good enough to eat

fly burgers are such a tasty treat

just catch a blowie between two buttered buns

add some lettuce and tomato and have so much fun

in sydney there is a light show from outer space

it’s really the dead people having the biggest party oh yeseree

a fly will come into dads methane, and totally splash all over him

fly burgers are good enough to eat

fly burgers are such a tasty treat

just catch a blowie before he ruins the party

add some lettuce and tomato

and have so much fun

and now here is whitney houston, ready to party, hardy

oh i wanna dance with somebody

i want to feel the groove with somebody

oh yeah, i wanna dance with somebody, with somebody who loves me

one dance and a spirt of methane to tip all over me

you see the light show looks like it’s so fun, come and cheer on me

and welcome all the dead, you see this is a sign, that just because your dead doesn’t mean

your gone from us oh yeah

i wanna dance with somebody, i wanna feel the heat with somebody

i wanna dance with somebody, with somebody who loves me

and what a party this has turned out to be

right over the sydney sky

sydney sydney sydney oi oi oi

and now that is it, what a fantastic show, we might come back with more party moves on that position over sydney

sydney sydney sydney oi oi oi, and let’s party cosmos
JP Mantler Dec 2013
Some days he'll dress in new or old
But with a smile always so sharp
His walking charm will take a toll
When the woman turns to dark

His snaking charm strolls to the pub
Where the slags and twonks *** around
Nothing but warm hands and pint to grub
Where the woman he sees is found

She spits bleeding words from her filthy mouth
As he scorns them back with his hand
The red only cries when she screams in doubt
The snake gives her his looking glan

Someone thought to call for help
But no help had ever arrived
The barman listened to the poor woman's yelp
People pretend she never cried

The smiling man of ruthless charm
Walks down the stairs of death
Vehemence covered with blood and sin
Whereas mannequin slags spread grim

In forms of angelic old and new
His inhibited shape had grew
More evil it grew as his smile knew
His deliverance was joyful harm

He preached to barman to slags to twonks
His ways of nature so brash and ******
From snake to wolf to man dressed well
Even a preacher of God his allure so grand

The cunting ***** bemoaned downwards
Dampened with red paint shrieked foreign words
With her limbs cut open, "Deliverance is God"
Finding it was the charming man who smiled as a sod
Karen Christian Oct 2009
Said the Codger in the corner
Of the pub at  Avonlea
“There’s a missus, who I’d kisses
If she’d sit upon me knee”.

“But I’m eighty, like me matey
And I’m too inclined to ***.
So I’ll leave her to another
And keep my faithful Tennessee!”

Said the barman to the Codger
“Well you see here my old friend!
You’ve been sitting in the corner
Since ya leg would no more bend”.

“You’ve been drinkin all me whisky
Yep your love from Tennessee!
Don’t ya know ya have a misses
And she’s looking out for ye.”

Said the Codger to the barman
“Mate now you just let me be
I’ve paid ya all good money
For me love from Tennessee!”.

“And me misses whom I kisses
Who is waiting home for me
Is all weathered, worn and weary
And she naggeth poor old me.”

Said the lady at the counter
Who’d not sit upon his knee.
“Mister if you loved and kissed her
She’d no longer naggeth ye!”

Said the Codger to the lady
“Well Ok! Now let me see
I’d go home to see me misses
But will not leave my Tennessee!”
NJ McGourty Dec 2012
I
In a land of myths, from the jaded isle,
Great stories are told of the brave and the guile.
But no legend of druids, of hags or ghouls,
Can compare to that of our own Fionn McCool.
In the province of Ulster, before armalite,
There lived a race of warriors who knew how to fight.
And who was their leader? The fiercest of the feared?
Of course it was Fionn! With his glorious ginger beard.
He had arms like a gorilla, at an impressive 8 feet,
And lived on a diet of very rare meat.
He drank only water he squeezed from stone,
And discovered 47 uses for human bone.
It was his giant strength that brought McCool his fame,
In kingdoms far and wide people knew his name.
But what was less renowned was his mental might.
Aul Fionn had towering intellect and wit to match his height.

II
When news of Fionn's exploits reached a pub in Aberdeen,
A mammoth figure emerged from the pungent, men’s latrine.
The patrons gave a shudder as it stooped through the door,
“O...One more Ben?” stuttered the barman as his **** reached the floor.
The giant gave a shout and wretched a toilet door aloft,
“Who scrieved this scaffy drawin, sayin that I’m soft?”
Silence gripped the bar as the men examined with horror,
A crude etching of Fionn McCool thrashing Benandonner.
The men remained mute, as the giant turned carmine,
“You think this Fionn boyo’s tough, I’ll carve out his spine!”
And so the giant departed, making his way west,
But not before he slaughtered the group and downed the drinks they left.

III
A roaring voice came through the mist and reached our own Fionn’s ear,
But when he reached the Antrim coast, he near ****** himself with fear
Seeing Ben on Scotland’s edge, throwing boulders to the sea,
“I’ll turn yer lungs to bagpipes! Ye feeble wee beastie!”
Fionn trembled before the monster, twice as big as he,
With a chest as wide as a trawler and biceps thick as trees.
Now Fionn was not a coward but nor was he a fool,
As the rocks formed a bridge he saw ‘the late Fionn McCool.’
And so he sparked a plan to deceive the creature,
A plot in which his wisdom and his wife would feature.
Running to his house he rushed to build a crib,
And dressed as an infant to complete the fib.

IV
With the last stone in place, Ben crossed the sea,
With ‘murrrdur’ in his heart, his eyes mad with hateful glee.
He crouched to enter the house after kicking through the door,
Grabbing Oonagh in his hand, “Now where’s yer husband *****?!”
Fionn’s wife was calm as he held her off the ground,
But wretched as she smelt the breath of a gum-diseased hound.
“He’ll return soon,” she said as the shoes fell off her feet.
“but put me down and while you wait I’ll fix you something to eat”
While Oonagh was in the kitchen, Big Ben released a smirk,
“From the size of his wife, killing McCool won’t be much work.”
Oonagh lead the deception, returning with some cake.
But had placed rocks in the batter, before she’d begun to bake.
Benadonner was surprised, when he took his first bite,
He reached into his mouth and removed a pearly white.
Not wanting to seem weak, by refusing a McCool snack,
The giant continued to eat the stones until all his teeth had cracked.

V
Gumming back a sob, the brute looked around,
He spied the crib in the corner, and was disturbed by what he found.
A child sleeping soundly, but of such monstrous size,
Ben, now blind with tears was fooled by Fionn’s disguise.
Coughing to hide his alarm, the Scottish giant inquired.
“Is Fionn McCool the man, to whom this weeun is sired?”
Oonagh laughed and replied, “He’s his father’s son, no doubt.”
“Sure I remember he was six foot four when I popped him out.”
Now the Scot started sweating, THE BABY WAS FECKIN TITANIC!
When he imagined the father’s size the goliath began to panic.
He ran from the house, kilt flapping in the wind,
As McCool watched from his window, he kissed his wife and grinned.

VI
While Ben crossed the bridge, he dismantled his creation,
To ensure the ****** couldn’t follow, he divorced the nations.
Now centuries later, if you need proof today,
The remains of Ben’s bridge is called the Giant’s Causeway.
Ujwala Iyengar Feb 2015
As I finish the book,
The guy in the corner says,
Are you a feminist for real or are you the extreme feminist just like they say?

Trouble,
Tugging,
Tension,
Haven't you ever heard these words my way ?
They spill out my pockets as I find a safe route to home today.
I,
I'm a person, I live to see my kids everyday,
I drive my car with the colt in the back to make sure I reach home today.
I,
I'm a fire, I'm a story to be told,
Yet I lock upon your entrance because for you I'm a singular sight to behold.
You,
You Animal,
You Unchastised Beast.

Struggle,
Strive,
Strenuous,
Strength,
Is the only way I fight your ***** hands off my naked body piece.
I,
I human,
I wrong,
I be the woman that calls hell upon.

You,
You be man,
You be government,
You be aid,
You filthy human being,
But I'm the one to blame.

You,
You liar,
You sniveling little rat,
I,
I innocent,
I sorry,
I right,
Yet I hide like a wet cat.

Naked,
Nauseous,
Nightmare,
The words I have befriended in the absence of the lord.

I,
I hungry,
I scared,
I lost,
I join my hands in agony and frustration for the only consented hand upon me is that of the god.

His,
His mother,
His sister,
His friend,
Be nothing to you,
You tear her body with your claws, your vein's pulsing with *****.

You,
You drunk,
You wrong,
You animalistic,
Yet as you slide down my skinny jeans, in tonight's bet I'm the innocent one to lose.


I walk upon the sidewalk and all I hear you say,
You ****,
You *****,
You ***** from across the shore,
Why don't you slide that hoody up above your shoulders and show me some breast?

You look at me like I'm a chicken piece,
You drool and spank as I pass by
And look at me like I'm the one who suggest.

You,
You father,
You teacher,
You preacher,
You barman,
You taxi man,
You footballer,
You man.

I,
I wreck,
I cavity,
I ****,
I *******,
I slam piece,
I brothel but no church,
I woman and I naked.

So as I walk up home wearing those tiny shorts,
You pick me up in those black tinted window cars,
I scream,
I yell,
I beg,
I plead.
You shove it down my throat.
You tear my humanity,
You make me bleed.

You,
You stupid,
You arrogant,
You ignorant,
You fool.
You don't know my power for I'm the Gaya to your tomb.
You miscreant,
You rogue,
You bleeding stinking wretch.
You see that halo around me,
I'm your mother,
Your daughter,
Your sister,
Your wife,
Your god.
And every time you look at me with those ugly eyes,
I want you to see my halo glow.


As I picked up my book from the table,
A feminist, A masculinist,
A equality finder,
A woman,
A girl,
I find a name to pick and say,
And I look at your rustic self and I say

'You Don't Even Deserve To Know'
tangshunzi Jun 2014
Pianificare un matrimonio Texas tutto il tragitto dall'Inghilterra non è esattamente quello che chiamerei un compito facile .ma per questa splendida sposa e lo sposo è stato uno che è venuto insieme senza soluzione di continuità .Sto parlando di una squadra impressionante di fornitori .amici favolosi + parenti e romantico giorno di tempo piovoso tutti insieme per creare una relazione seria sognante .Vedi tutto catturato da Geoff Duncan proprio qui .

ColorsSeasonsFallSettingsInnOutdoorStylesCasual Elegance

Da Sposa.Dopo Jon ed io siamo fidanzati nel gennaio 2013 .ci fu inizialmente un sacco di avanti e indietro sopra dove il matrimonio reale avrebbe avuto luogo .Jon è vestiti da sposa dalla costa meridionale dell'Inghilterra .e miè èdal Texas .e anche se la gente continuava a dirci che era il nostro matrimonio.quindi dovremmo avere nel posto che ci rende felici .ci stavaè èvuole che sia davverodifficile per tutti della nostra famiglia e gli amici per farlo .Alla fine abbiamo deciso che aveva più senso avere in Texas.come ** TALE una grande famigliaèe al momento abbiamo pensato che sarebbe sicuramente ottenere un tempo migliore ( sì proprio! ) Ed essere in grado di avere il matrimonio all'aperto.Inoltre .un paio di Jon ' amici inglesi ci ha detto cheñ è èEtter nonèce l'ha nel Regno Unitoè èvolevanoè eo da qualche parte esotica .come il Texas !è è/ em >

Jon e io sapevamo che didnè èvogliono avere il matrimonio in una grande cittàècosì Dallas .dove hoè èoriginario .è stato escluso abbastanza rapidamente .La nostra posizione di nozze e il tema di ispirazione in realtà provenivano da uno dei matrimoni Jon ' groomsmen "che abbiamo partecipato insieme il primo fine settimana mi sono trasferito nel Regno Unito all'inizio del 2011 . Loro matrimonio era nelle Highlands scozzesièpiù disabitata .selvaggia .zona remota voipoteva immaginare .Abbiamo volato da Glasgow .affittato una macchina e guidato altre 3 ore a nord nel bel mezzo del nulla .La maggior parte delle persone che frequentano il matrimonio alloggiavano nello stesso albergo ( o nelle vicinanze ).per tutto il weekend ed è stato questo ( probabilmente centinaia di anni) edificio in pietra si affaccia su un bellissimo lago .La vecchia chiesa caratteristico era solo la strada - e stranamenteèversò prima.durante e dopo tutta la loro cerimoniaèsuona familiare .E 'stato davvero romantico anche se durante la cerimonia .perché eravamo tutti rannicchiati in questa calda chiesetta con il vento e la pioggia che urla fuori .Abbiamo apprezzato molto l'idea di fare una cosa simile dove tutti alloggiava nella stessa zona ed era in campagna - e tutti abbiamo potuto trascorrere il weekend insieme .Abbiamo pensato cheè ñal sicuro dalla pioggia in Texas estate.anche seèci stavaè èaspettano Scozia meteo !

organizzare il matrimonio in Texas da Londra non ha dimostrato di essere un compito facile .In un primo momento ** pensato che ero in cima delle coseènon eroè èlavoro e sono stato in grado di ottenere la maggior parte dei miei grandi fornitori prenotati.Ma poi ** trovato un nuovo lavoro nel mese di luglio e che ' quando le cose sono diventate davvero difficile .** sottovalutato quanti piccoli dettagli ci sarebbeèma fortunatamente per meèmia mamma e papà davvero tirato insieme e aiutatoèmolto .** trovato un sacco di mie idee per i più piccoli dettagli su Pinterest ( come si fa ) e ** trovato il materiale che avevo bisogno di fare loro su Etsy .Vorrei ordinare tutto il necessario per una delle mie idee e quindi provare a lavorare con mia mamma per vedere come si potrebbe ottenere fatto .I vasi di muratore sono un esempioèho ordinato 100 vasi di muratore .etichette.cannucce .ecc e li aveva spediti alla mamma .Poi ** avuto la vestiti da sposa mamma di passare le etichette per invitare la mia ragazza (che è INCREDIBILE tra l'altro) e aveva tutti i nomi stampati sulle etichette e ha dato di nuovo a mamma che li bloccato sui vasi .E così la maggior parte dei piccoli dettagli sono stati fatti in questo modo!I donè èche avrei potuto fare tutto senza tutto l'aiuto straordinario che avevoèmamma.papà .il abiti da sposa on line mio coordinatore e altri fornitori sorprendenti.

Jon e ** volato in Dallas la settimana prima del matrimonio per aiutare a finire alcune cose prima del giorno e per abituarsi al cambiamento di tempo orribile.Il weekend di matrimonio iniziato nel Austin sul ​​Giovedi prima perché il Inn Above Onion Creek richiesto l' intero hotel è stato affittato per tutti e tre notti .È finito per lavorare fuori fantastico e mi ha dato una notte in più da trascorrere con tutta la mia famiglia e gli amici Jon ' in un unico luogo .L'intero weekend è stato davvero speciale (ovviamente la notte del matrimonio reale era il migliore !) .Ma è stato incredibile .non solo avendo tutti i nostri cari in un posto.ma guardando quanto bene tutti andavano d'accordo e quanto divertimento tutti sembravano essereavere .

Tutta la settimana che porta al matrimonio .Jon e mi era stato nervosamente controllo le previsioni ogni cinque minuti .Purtroppo .una previsione di pioggia sarebbe semplicemente non andare via per il giorno del matrimonio reale .ma è tenuto saltando dal 20 % al 50 % e di nuovo al 20 % - la tortura totale.TUTTI continuava a direè ñhhh donè èpreoccuparti !Non ' sicuramente pioverà .Essa non fa maièprobabilmente sarà cielo sereno !èquindi non era davvero stressante a tutti quando tre ore prima della cerimonia .la pioggia peggiore cheè èe visto in anni laminati in ( ben che potrebbe in parte essere perché drizzles solo a Londra).ma letteralmente il cielo stava cadendo .Probabilmente ero un piacere essere intorno in quel periodo .Per fortuna



.come ** detto primaèavevo fornitori incredibili che erano in grado di tenere tutto insieme ( mentre io ero un disastro ) e tutto si è rivelato splendidamente .La pioggia cessò per la cerimonia (per fortuna ).e il cielo si schiarì che ha fornito anche un bellissimo sfondo per tutte le foto di gruppo .Tutto sembrava essere scorre senza intoppi e ci siamo divertiti così tanto a parlare con tutti e ballare verso la fine della notte .
couldnè èpotuto essere più felice di come è andato tuttoèera letteralmente tutto ciò che avremmo potuto sperare.Ci siamo sentiti solo come se fosse volato da troppo veloce!Fotografia

: Geoff Duncan | Cinematografia : Jerry Malcolm 2nd Generation Films | Cake: The Cupcake Bar | Cancelleria : Love And Wit Paper Co. | Hair \u0026 Makeup : Erica Gray | DJ : DJ Floyd Banche | Ufficiante : Sarah Reed | Alcol: Specifiche | Cerimonia \u0026 Reception Venue : Inn Above Onion Creek | Coordinamento : stile e la grazia Eventi | barman : Bar Divas | Rehearsal Dinner Luogo : Iron Cactus 6th Street | vacanze : Illusions AffittiThe Cupcake Bar è un membro del nostro Little Black Book .Scopri come i membri sono scelti visitando la nostra pagina delle FAQ .The Cupcake Bar VIEW
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Kyle Matrimonio al Inn Above Onion Creek_abiti da sposa 2014
briano alliano at venus party trap




hi dudes and welcome to the party of the universe and when i was a teenage boy i drew pen drawings on my arm

and the picture was a triangle with a line through the centre which means, i am into raging, and those drawings are

right for today up in  venus, here is a song about my pen drawings on my arm


you see i was getting teased by other young dudes oh yeah

and it was driving me nuts, i needed to do something oh yeah

my mum and dad were worried because i took my frustrations out on them

saying dad has aids and i must keep away from him, but i was messed up yeah

so i took a pen from my pencil case and drew a triangle

and stuck a line through it, dad started to get worried

i didn’t care, i needed to find a way that i am not a freak

just because i am a bit different to others, who was very weak

the triangle was a sign of partying , the line meant add some fun

you see it’s easy to just sit and watch, like i did once

but it’s better to really party, and the line meant party all night

in the nite clubs and on new years eve, yeah it was so great

dad was really worried, like all parents i guess

i sang 3 6 9 dad drank wine and i drank bourbon and coke

you see i vomited on that, but i don’t worry because i am raging in the club

you see i had these cool mates who i got drunk with yeah

you see i went out and raged with them dad said, no, go to bed

i said no to my dad, i am showing you what my drawing on arm meant

it means i want to be cool man, cooler than the rest of my family

i squeezed my way through drainpipes and i partied at the private bin

i was showing off my raging skills, saying LET’S PARTY MAN

you see i was a cool kid mate, who really loved to rage

every day i turned around there were more girls partying with me

and i was getting drunk reminding mum of her father

but i didn’t understand this, i just raged anyway

because partying is my middle name my first name is cool

my surname is raging and watching rage the next day

reminded me of my next day

i still want to show young dudes though

that partying is great and raging is fun, oh yeah

just remember to not bring it to the family oh no


thanks dudes and now here is a christmas party son called getting tipsy

you see i put the christmas tree up and drink some beer and get drunk oh yeah

and sit down and watch your family happily playing how cool’s that

you see i like christmas it is all so fun, but i have to watch that i don’t get all tipsy

getting tipsy dude getting tipsy dude, from wine and beer and bourbon and coke

and losing breath from my packet of smokes

yeah yeah yeah yeah, i was getting tipsy

while the barman watched me all night, as he sat behind the bar

the angel of the lord came down and said i have a car

how about we drive you home, you look drunk to us

i said no, i feel alright, i rather get the bus

come on barry allan drink some methane for your next life betty campbell

you have now got a red hat on oh yeah

and we can party all over the solar system, yeah that sounds so fun

and bon scott came up to me and said your on the highway to hell, ya see

i said the only highway, i am on pal is the highway to party dude heaven

or nirvana, of which buddhists call it

dad is poking me and saying, i am not ya dad anymore

i said we can still party up here, though

because you need to understand what i like about partying

all through the ****** night

i tipped methane all over my old dad and macauley culkin did as well

you see macauley culkin is clarry allan and he dropped methane all over my old dad

to make his next life cool, cause dad hated christmas carols ya see

but he said, his next life will try oh yeah

i sang to dad who had methane all over him

we wish you a merry christmas

we wish you a merry christmas

we wish you a merry christmas

let me live on earth dad

i know i teased you

i know i teased you

i know i teased you

but i deserve to be left alone to deal with my mental illness

and now here is a party anthem as i leave here, it’s called i am in party heaven

you see i only like people who party

or go out to fun events

i am not the type to be a total,and utter dense

please buddha, i know i am cronus but let me party on

let me get past this business of my drawing on my arm

dad hasn’t got aids, i was young and dumb

and i didn’t mean to provide bad memories of the father of my mum

you see i like to party dude, and party all day long

so buddha, don’t give me my old shy brian allan body

send him to space junk, because i am cool man

buddha buddha buddhs please let me do my art

i know i put my dad through hell

but i misunderstood him yeah

i thought dad was ready to give me a job on TV

but in hindsight my past might stop me from succeeding oh yeah mate yeah

you see i used to say to my dad ya say ya say ya say

dad just said, one main word, yes, your majesty

because probably i sounded like the ****** old queen

ya say ya say ya say, yes your majesty

so please buddha, let me do my art, don’t try and send me off to my next life

i am not ready to go yet, i want the world to know that brian allan ain’t evil

i want the world to know i am a party dude who has made silly mistakes

PARTY BUDDHA PARTY BUDDHA PARTY BUDDHA

THE WAY TO ****** BE, oh dude

ok everyone, i have to go, but i will hang around to throw methane over all the old hags

ya know tease the old hags dude

CATCH YA LATER PARTY HEAVEN
Poeta de Cabra Jul 2014
Blokes in the bar sure do say some weird stuff
Like "love to **** her ******* and eat her ****"
Seem to have animals on their mind all the while
"I'd like to see her ***** or do her *******"

What does all that mean? I'd really love to know
And how does a woman have a nice *******?
If a woman comes close and she's a real **** one
One of them may say "I'd like to give the ferret a run"

A bloke went to the toilet seemed quite annoyed
Said he was gonna shake hands with the unemployed
"You mean syphon the python" asked one of the men
"Not really, just shake hands with the wives best friend"

He said he wanted a ***** to his wife late last night
"Gee mate you shoulda seen it, I had a mongrel alright"  
Apparently she said "no" and he threatened to leave her
Said he wasn't hanging around if he didn't get any ******

Fred said his wife was gorgeous and he had always adored
But lately she was off ***, didn't want any more pork sword
Frank's wife was the same and she hardly left the cottage
Would never let Frank touch her or play hide the sausage

Max, reckoned he'd nearly had more than a man could take
Couldn't get near the missus with his one eyed trouser snake
As for Gerard, He said "think my wife's taking me for a sucker"
"Told me to keep away with the blue veined custard chucker"

A **** dark woman walked past, Marty said "I'd give her a ride"
The barman just laughed and mumbled "they are all pink inside"
Jack joined in saying "leave it alone Marty or you'll get blisters"
"Besides, if you turn them upside down they're definitely sisters"

In the bar I heard a bloke say "I'd give her the old Wham Bam"
"Sure would like to get the old love muscle up her  bearded clam"
As the bar closed Jerry joked " If the flags are up at my place"
"I'll put my ***** between her *****, give her a pearl necklace"

All these men laugh and joke as the barman says to the group
"You buggers won't get any because you'll have brewers droop"
As I finish my wine and leave someone says "on ya bike ya miser"
Do you know what they are on about? because I'm none the wiser
CM Rice Dec 2013
He heard a last echoed clink of liquor-laden ice-cubes,
Stuck between two stools that screamed for company,
I gazed across his vacant stare to the barman –the silent DJ,

Professionally ignorant as I gestured my hoarse thirst,
I waited a little minute, another minute an’ just one more,
Enter our businessman, full-schedule, long-hauled to drink,

With a rib-eye steak of a face an’ breath surely barbecued,
Two satisfied cheeks, pink-puffed with brows fit for burial,
Teeth ground with tension but brighter than the lighting

A fungal-lung nose perched upon a smile that I could smell,
He plumbed himself wet-shave close to my stiffened neck,  
“..Hana Drink..?” (Silence) best to follow the DJ’s example,

(Bullish huffs) (Lips licked) “.. Ya’ll wantin’ a drink, Mister?..”  
Flustered by the company, I replied “..Non, Je think eh Je chi..”
A retort of sorts, faux languages not my degree, “..Leaba..Bed!”

Spluttered just at the end – an insulting first impression,
He seemed nervously joyous, loosened from being himself,  
Yet his trouser belt buckled, pulled tight to conversation level,

An’ Redwood-trunk hands, alive with the latest deal struck,  
“..Bedtime for us..” he bare-bawled, splitting my weary eyes,
His numbed arm clumsily flung around me, “..bedtime for us!..”,

DJ unmuted, the music paused, I mouthed softly “..just the bill..”
(Silence)
“..Who’s Bill?.. a friend?…Is he cute?.. So this drink?” I panic still.
It would tie your brain up in a knot,
the clink of glasses on the barman's grate,
and the tones of creaky Dublin croaking,
In darkness, mourning the death, of the daytime light.  

It would I say, to grasp the slender neck,
and to lift it, smiling, glancing beyond the glass,
at winking eyes and clinking pints of plain,
My brain is in a knot, when I think of you.  

I held you on the banks, of the  royal canal,
knew then what all the bards and lovers mean,
say it was the light reflected in their eye,
I never did hear tell, of eyes to rival glass

Yet confound revealing daytime light,
you are liquid of the night, stout and dark,
rebuke me not, till your own brain too,
Has been left in knots, by the dark slender boy.
In me line of work you could get in trouble for publishing this saart of thing.  It's a kind of extended meta(what)phor?  I understand that is a popular and devilish class of device.
Gilhooley had ordered a meeting
Everyone had to come round
St. Patricks day will be upon us
And a venue just has to be found

We have to find somewhere authentic
Our normal old pub just won't do
We can't celebrate with the punters
Where the beer isn't green, it's dyed blue

Gilhooley awaited suggestions
It had to be somewhere close by
There were all sorts of names on the table
So they decided to give them a try

It needed to be "somewhat old Irish"
with no dee jay, and a folky type band
they had to have red headed women
And a barman, with drinks poured and at hand

The first place they went was McKenna's
It seemed like a great place at first
but the service was slower than treacle
and a man would just die here of thirst

They found one that looked rather Irish
It was known as the new *** of gold
it had a rainbow outside on the awning
this should have been a warning fortold

the next one they tried was a classic
The green and gold tavern....a hit
but, it was booked on the day for a party
and this didn't please them one bit

they finally found one to their liking
full of guineess and pretty colleens
a punjabi bar by the  name of  ben doury's
where everything was curried and green

it was a party that no one remembered
that meant that it must have been good
nobody went to the jailhouse
even though three or four of them should

The beer and the curry were epic
the singing was like nothing we'd heard
a sitar and cymbal based trio
played so loud that nothing was heard

Gilhooley said next year we have to
come back here and do it again
It was the best St. Patty's ever
most of them passed out by ten

The next time you go out to party
call Ben Doury, the place is  spot on
the food and the beer are one colour
with a Punjabi Mumbai Leprachaun
David Williams Apr 2013
He enters looking bedraggled, tired and worn out, his skin like vellum, blank and pale.
Lifting his eyes to catch their gaze he gives a slight nod to acknowledge their presence.
He scans the room as he would a poem seeking an indent that leads to a quiet corner.
A half-lit light casts a shadow on the flock wallpaper, ink stained.
He sits hidden from view, away from plagiaristic eyes. Head In hand
Scribbling while listening for a new word, a muse sings, emanating an un-heard
Beat that guides his rhythm while searching for that elusive vowel. On the floor
Is a scattering of pencil shavings and broken lead, frustration at the loss of an adjective.
The half rhyme squeezes like a tourniquet on the brain…
Frustration runs high as enjambment slips off the page and gathers in reflective pools.

The Lay Pastoral reads an Elegy to the passing of Sir Rondeau Redouble, he lead a very lonely life ascending and then diminishing becoming less Didactic, the Footle holds a Lanterne for the loss, while the Limerick found it quite humorous.

At the bar a Stanza of poets gather, disciples of Villanelle, and regale of their latest triumphs in Women’s Quarterly. Then silence falls as Suzette Prime performs her latest Burlesque she is in good Shape. The Epulaeryu’s compare their Diamante while eating their babba ghanoosh. At the pool table the movers and shakers decant opinions on the latest ‘form’ something to do with A,E,I,O,U…Acrostic looks it up and down looking puzzled, Blank verse remains silent,

They dissect, analyse the entrails, the faint hearted feel a little Grook. The atmosphere is tense. Verbs drift like dust in the light, causing confusion, they mop their brows with a tired senryu. The haiku’s have little to say on the matter…

A Quintain of intellectuals quietly sit, the Sicilian sipping slim line Monoku’s (no ice) hoping for a Couplet before the end of the night. On a stool sit’s the barfly spilling his Bio over the counter top exposing an Ode-ious life, metaphorically speaking. On stage the hottest group in town… Chant Royal and the Syllables… singing their latest Sestina it reached 39 in the hit parade, the notes drift across the room resting on the floor congealing into a poet-tree fountain…they feel at home as the last act MC McWhirtle enthrals with his latest Ballad…the barman Ric Tameter calls time, the evening is a Rap. The club is Epic…


© 27/3/2013
Bardo Aug 2021
When I think back now to when I was little (to when I was young)
The words "I love you" I don't think were ever spoken, not in our house anyway (now I could be wrong)
It would have been something silly to say
That was something you'd only hear in a Hollywood movie
Between glamorous movie stars, glamorous people
It wasn't part of our reality
If you were feeling anxious about something and needed comforting
You'd be told not to worry, that you were being silly
You'd be given a hug maybe or 'a treat' something nice
Usually something sweet, a biscuit and a hot cup of sugary tea or cocoa
A chocolate sweet if there were any
You'd be allowed to stay up late and watch the late shows on TV
Me! I was always a terrible worrier just like my Mom
Food most often was the comforter, the soother, the remedy to all
(Some say our relationship with food is the closest relationship we ever have in Life).

Yea! I don't think the words "I love you" were spoken where we grew up
Our parents they loved us as best they could
But they didn't have the words, the words to say it
It was strange...it was almost like they were forbidden to.
Of course, you could love your neighbor alright and your neighbor's neighbor
And your neighbor's neighbors neighbor's neighbor
And all the feckin' neighbors in the whole feckin' world
But the one thing you couldn't, you mustn't do
Was love yourself, this was the Big No No, the Big taboo, the Great Evil
It was the one thing you must never do,
And every Sunday at church, the priest way up on his pulpit
He'd never tire of telling us
How evil and selfish and bad the Self was
And all the bad things it got up to
Yea, your neighbor was always better than you were
Put your neighbor above yourself always
Love your neighbor and you'd be alright
That was the message loud and clear.

                               2

So, so we got treats instead of words of love when we were little
On Friday nights when Dad would come home from work and the pub
He'd always have with him lovely Apple Turnover buns
And a bag of crisps for each of us
And so, we'd all sit there together in the evening in front of the telly
After the maelstrom of the school week with  its lessons and scary teacher
Trying so hard to understand and get your homework done,
And despite all we'd laugh and enjoy the TV shows
And this... this was Love, us all just sitting there with our buns and munching our crisps just watching the TV together
Knowing we belonged and that we were loved kind of...as best they could
And that we had a couple of days off, days of freedom
Before we'd have to go back to school again,
It didn't get any better than this.

And when we'd be going down the country to see our Uncle John
My Dad would always stop off to visit a pub
And he'd get us a Club orange and a packet of crisps
It couldn't get any better than this... this was Love
The lovely sweet taste of that fizzy Club orange juice
And those wonderful salty cheese and onion flavoured (potato) crisps or maybe salt and vinegar flavour
Or later on, lovely smokey bacon flavour,
As we'd sit there Dad would be talking to the barman or some of the locals
But we didn't care what was being said, it didn't matter to us
It didn't get any better than this
This was heaven... this was Bliss.

Sometimes during the summer months before we could get summer jobs
Maybe it'd be raining outside and we'd be stuck indoors and bored
But then Mum would up and say "I know I'll make some chips"
Now Mum's chips were really something special, they'd be lovely big chunky potato chips, hand cut
And maybe she'd have beans in tomato sauce with them,
And maybe there'd be a good film on in the afternoon
Well, this was it, nothing could top that, a good film and a plate of Mum's big chunky chips and beans
Sometimes she'd even make these lovely mince beef pies
With minced beef and flour and onions, salt and pepper on them
And they were really something else
It couldn't get any better than this... and this... this was Love
(I can still remember the kind of meals we ate
And my Mum in the kitchen, and my Dad).

                            3

It's how people grow up in the end I suppose
They find someone inspiring, some teacher or book that makes a strong impression on them (if their lucky)
Or a partner who broadens their horizons, makes them question things and expands their vision of life and all its wondrous possibilities
But what if you don't find those good books, those inspiring teachers
Those voices that'd offer you a better vision of tomorrow and what this life could be
What if you only found bad books, bad books purporting to be good
That'd rob you and leave you lost and desolate, fearful and confused
What if some of your teachers turned out to be alcoholics
That some even done away with themselves
What if the people you met were even more lost than you were yourself...

And you'd go to a job interview and the man, he'd look at you and say
"So, what are your aspirations in Life, what are your values, your goals, where do you see yourself a few years from now ?"
And you'd look back at him blankly, Aspirations! Values! Goals!
What are these words, what's he talking about...
What am I looking for in Life ?
To have some fun I suppose...maybe (if having fun was still legal now as an adult)
Fun!!! Whatever that was now ?
Or to get drunk and stay drunk, escape this grim world I'm in somehow
What am I looking for ?
You tell me...I don't know, what is there
For all I knew I may as well have said
"A Club orange and a packet of crisps".

                              4

Now the faces they have all faded away, the voices too, have all gone
There's only me here alone in this room
It's Friday evening and I've got a readymade dinner from the supermarket
Just need to pop it in the oven for a few minutes
And I got a Dvd from the Dvd store,
So I sit there and eat my dinner, I savour every bite
But still it doesn't last very long
And I can lick my plate but it doesn't make any difference
I can lick it all I like
But I can't make it last, and I can't bring them back again
Those people that are gone;
And the food, it doesn't taste the same, doesn't taste as good as it tasted back then
And the movies too, their not like the ones we used to watch...

When I die it'll probably be like that movie Citizen Kane, at the end his last words "Rosebud"
The name of his beloved childhood sleigh
He used slide on in the snow,
I'll say on my death bed "I too have a memory of Love and Joy, Yea!
A Club orange and a packet of crisps".
A strange write this, life through a foodie's eyes. Another rather melancholy write (or wonderful delicious melancholy write LoL). I love the sad ones, they crack me up every time, take me to deep places within, they take you on a journey. Club orange is a lovely brand of fizzy orange juice over here (like Fanta) and a bag of crisps are potato chips fried wafer thin that'd come in different flavors. Very sugary and very salty and bad for you LoL.
Ben Jones Feb 2013
There's a fella you've all heard of
From a sandy foreign place
He was sent down by his daddy
From somewhere in outer space
He died and he came back again
Then he hit the dusty road
Now he's there for me with a helping hand
When I've almost dropped my load

Jesus is my barman
I munch his salty nuts
He fills me up with lovin'
Till it rumbles in my guts
He's my one almighty Hoover
He ***** off all my sin
To all my tricky crevices
He bravely enters in

He eases through my tightest spots
He's always got my back
He lubricates my passage
Down the narrow winding track
He tinkers with my plumbing
Removes my stubborn stains
Then with his holy implement
He firmly rods my drains

Jesus is my bell-boy
In his elevatin' craft
He pushes on my button
Then he takes me up the shaft
He's my fire fighting saviour
When flames begin to roar
He grabs his mighty helmet
And he breaks in my back door

He's captain of my ******
Commander of my boats
Don't worry if you're sinkin' fast
Cos Jesus always floats
If you're cold and need to light a fire
The lord is right and good
There's one thing he's remembered for
It’s always having wood

Jesus is my dentist
He drills me with his bit
He fills up all my cavities
Then I gargle and I spit
And one day when it’s legal
We'll end our secret fling
With his ring on my finger
And his finger in my ring
A country/western style song about loving Jesus...
Ashley Chapman Jun 2019
We start in Greek Street.
Not any night,
But the end,
A grand finale;
Last orders,
At the Coach & Horses,
Before the corporate boyz move in to whitewash,
Where inky Boho Jeffrey Bernard drank,
And Gary Dunnington, the actor, and his mates are on the ****.

Meanwhile, a mom runs her hands,
Though my strands.
'Tell me everything,' she enthuses,'about your hair.'
But there’s nothing to say:
I barely wash it,
Never brush it,
And only finger combe it.
But she carries on in my locks,
Then off to dinner with her bloke.

We head off to Trisha's at 57,
A lively basement heaven:
In energy, in noise, in smoke.
I chat with Mark.
Got his heart broke:
It’s hard
To sever those traumatic bonds,
Thick as pillar posts,
When love ***** up,
Goodbye, the cocktail of toxicity,
That had you on a high,
The ***, the texts, the tenderness,
And, oh, the bliss.

Kass, a boxer musician, comes
And shakes our hands.
He’s in Armani,
And says,
His eyes dark little raisins,
'I prefers a poet over a bruiser.'
And, 'I don’t fight no more,
If I did - so I don't bother -
I’d **** ‘em.

In the corner,
Two girls with dreamy eyes:
So I read ‘em love poems.

Then Jessica Appleby's head pops round the door.
We hug and then swap tales:
'I’m all messed up,' I tell her.
'What not her, the one you wrote that poem for.'
'My man,' she confides changing the subject,
'All crazy passion and wild *** for two months -
Then nothing.
Just fizzled out like it was never meant to be.'

She exits.

'You alright Gary?'
'Yeah, you?'
'Fine.'
But I don’t buy him a beer,
A bottle of Peroni is £5.
'No, it’s £3,' he says, 'if you pay cash.'
I head for the bar.
Three times I explain to the barman, it’s £3 cash.
'Who told you that?' he says slamming the bottle down.
'Gary,' I say defensively.
'Well, tell Gary, if he doesn’t shut the **** up,
He’ll be paying a fiver, too.'

A young American artist, Kirsty, starts talking to me.
She’s trying to get ahead in art,
And says, that when she was a kid,
On a blazing Tuscany night filled with stars,
She walked out onto a stone balustrade balcony,
And knew in that moment,
She was no longer her mom and dad,
But herself, Kirsty.

The boxer musician shoves a tall fellow hard against the wall,
The altercation,
Is over before it starts.

Kass gives me a wolfish smile.
Mark buys me a drink.
Kirsty goes to the toilet.
The corner girls have left.
Mark slips his stool.

Everyone is cleared from the yard,
Just Gary and I linger
With a feisty young bar lady,
Serving the Bohos of Soho.

Drinking in their pathos,
Exhaling in the shadows,
Mingling in their juices.
My ****** up heart beats
With the Bohos of Soho.
Ahhh, the Bohos of Soho keep many an hour.
The Bohos of Soho,
The Bohos of Soho,
The Bohos of Soho,
Have many lives,
The Bohos of Soho are a good seed.
You and I,
In Soho,
For last orders.
Now publiahed in Celine's Salon, Volume I, by Wordville, 2021.
My dad now owns a cafe on Saturn
It is called the goody two shoe inn and last night I came in to the goody two shoe inn to say hello to dad and he was working with his current earth life's brother robin Williams
And the cafe was totally crowded, dad made me a vanilla methane slice and a methane smoothie and it was the tastiest I have ever tasted
You see I saw Mohammed Ali
Walk in to buy a Saturn quality beer and I can tell you over the course of the night Mohammad
Really enjoyed it and then my brother walked in and said dad
Are you working here are you
And dad said yeah, I have to keep busy up here or I will get bored from all this space junk
And dad gave my brother a can of Saturn's finest beer and then after that he served David Campbell who is dads new father and dad gave him a nice methane smoothie and David said why can't you give this service to your earth body Betty
And dad said I am trying dad and suddenly turned into his earth life Betty and this woke David up and me well I was partying with David Bowie
And mate wasn't it the best party indeed and as he sang the song all the young dudes I remembered when Patrick played that song for me
And I went to the bar to buy 17
Methane smoothies for everyone here and dad said
Enjoy your night and I said I will
And went over to the dance floor to party and I was getting down to every song that David Bowie sang especially ground control to major Tom and after David Bowie left then slim dusty entered the stage with his first song Duncan
Here goes
I would love to have a beer with Brian
I would love to have a beer with
Brian
We drink in moderation
And never no never we get rolling drunk
We drink all over Saturn
Making Brian's father very proud
I would love to have a beer with Brian cause he is my mate
I would love to have a beer with David I would love to have a beer with him
I really would love to drink with
David Campbell
Cause drinking with him can make the future all so dim
We drink all over Saturn
As he checks on his daughters last life's last life that is grand
I would love to have a beer with
David cause he is a good mate
And then I went to the bar and asked dad for another methane smoothie and dad was knocking off so me and my brother and dad had a few drinks before they woke up
And I stayed at the club and had many more methane smoothies as I partied all over
An Aussie Saturday morning
Edward Coles Aug 2018
The coffee cups are *****
But it’s the cleanest way
To drink whiskey here.

The barman lost half his right fingers
To a wood chipper in his early 20’s
And spent the rest of his adult life
Flipping the world off.

He got it down to a fine art
By the time I showed up.
He didn’t smile when I ordered my drink.
He didn’t smile at all.

The jukebox hasn’t changed
For two stagnant decades
And most everyone but the regulars
Are too scared to use it.

It’s the same rotation
Of Elvis,
Muddy Waters,
BB King,
John Coltrane,
And early Bruce Springsteen.

Not a woman in sight
But every song is about them
And we are all here
Because of them.

Certain patches of carpet
Have not seen a crack of light
Since the Berlin Wall fell.

Nothing changes here but the customers-
And that change is incremental at best.
The same filthy etchings over
The same filthy cubicle doors.

The same Cherokee Indian
Smoking a Cuban Cigar
In the heartland of America.

I can’t find myself here
But there is no feeling of loss.
There is no profundity in anything here.
Just squalor

And enjoying one’s squalor.
I think that is what it means
To be truly happy.
05.05.2018
C
Terry Collett Sep 2013
Miss Maitland went
to the fancy dress party
dressed as a nun

Benedict went clothed
as a priest(Church
of England kind)

which made her
even more inaccessible
than before he thought

seeing her enter the hall
in her black and white habit
and that face

which echoed purity
her small slim fingers
raised as if to bless

those present
which included the host
dressed as the Devil in red

Miss Maitland walked
to the bar and ordered
a lemonade and gin

is that wise?
said the barman with a grin
she laughed

and he poured anyway
Benedict nodded
and she smiled

then talked to another
clothed as a monk
and laughed

and Benedict's hopes
(whatever they
may have been)

were he concluded
sunk
he sipped his beer

and walked and sat down
gazing at her
standing there

all her best bits
covered up
her tight ****

and delightful behind
gone from sight
now the Devil

was chatting her up
his tail hanging
from behind

his fingers holding
a red wine
Benedict sipped more

of his beer
saw her wander off
to talk with some girl

dressed
as a gangster's moll
right down to the 1920s

cloth of dress
and cut of hat
Benedict didn't fancy her

and that was that
he just wanted
Miss Maitland

sans her habit
of black and white
he liked her in her

tight jeans and top
with her fair hair
flowing free

or held back
in a pony tail
walking up and down

the aisle of the shop
serving customers
wiggling her behind

as she went talking
in her middle class prose
giving Benedict

a studious stare
and he studying her
thinking of his bed

at home
with him and her
lying there.
Set at a fancy dress party in 1972.
party zone with johnny brown


johnny’ hi dudes and welcome to party zone and tonight the sydney swans were

beaten by the west sydney giants and we have the GWS canberra cheer squad

to sing that great theme song

GWS Cheer squad’  we have a sound you here as we are enjoying our beer

that is the sound of the mighty giants

they beat the swans after pushing and pushing

i ask the barman for a pint

you see as cheered they kept in front, faster than the rest

we are the greater western sydney giants best in all the land

we beat the swans tonight, though, and we gave us all a hand

GO GWS YOU ARE THE GREATEST

johnny’  thank you, that was a great song and now here is olly with a party jingle

olly’   the party is beginning

and the cool dudes are drinking

yeah it sounds so cool

oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah

you see i ride my motorbike

to every party in this town

saying let’s party let’s party

right till the end

nobody dares to tease me, cause i like to party

i prefer to party than be square my friend, because squareheads die lonely

you see i can understand

that everyone in party town is cool

i am trying to improve the world

through the eyes of reincarnation, party on to improve existence

and people who don’t party, can kiss my hairy ***

you see i had a nice kalua and milk, ever so tasty

and then got on the dance floor and danced the chicken

and now i can party all night

johnny, thanks olly, when you say, the chicken dance or do you just cluck like a chicken

olly’  i just cluck like a chicken

johnny’  jolly good, now here is kenneth

kenneth’   the party train is on the track

ready for anyone that has got the knack

you see being on this train is so much fun

by drinking beer and tequila

and don’t forget to have a wine

and say, i don’t want to whinge

you see mate, i prefer to drink beer

on the party train yes i do yes i do

because when you drink a nice cold beer on the party train

you feel the ice cold reaction on your face

you see the party train has a drunks area

for them to sober up

and this will be a very long time

but the party train is cool

you see there is a carriage where you can party to

jimmy barnes twisted sister and kiss

the party train has a kids carriage with hannah montana and justin bieber and one direction

and they have a queen carriage, party to queen all night long

c;mon dudes, let’s party on the party train tonight

we have top class security guards so nobody gets into a fight

the party train is on for young and old

c’mon dudes let’s party

johnny’   thanks kenneth, and we hop aboard the party train and now here is freddo frog with a short number

i am freddo frog and i drink a lot of cans of beer

i know i do drink so much beer

i personally know it is better than the kids drink coke

you see after a beer i drink a cup of coffee and add sugar and milk

and i will do more next week

let’s party dudes from freddo frog

johnny’  and now our last song by harry

harry’  i am a big strong guy

but i don’t wanna fight

i am strong in my mind

i say yes to loving life

i say no to beer cause it’s fowl

i say yes to coke and orange soda,

cause it makes me party

just as long as i don’t drink too much

ya see i have fucken will power, man, enough to say no

i am very strong in the mind means

i will fight my body, if there is something i wanna eat

but i never get tired, i am a party dude

i will party to keep me alive in this world

and when i do die, i will party in my next life too

LET’S PARTY DUDES

johnny’  great poem harry and now that is it, there ain’t no more

unless you come to this club and party till 5 am

catch ya later dudes
Bella Isaacs Mar 2022
I can do this too, when I'm not au naturel
And trying to beat all of your @sses with how well
I make the gentleman, how excellently I am the imp,
How swell I step, dancing, aside, how terribly I simp -
Sometimes catch me getting back and giving the barman a chance -
I heeded their call; I washed off the day, and stepped into a trance
Of raspberry, rose and sandalwood; I donned my blue and pink silk,
And my black boots, tights and blazer - She's got style; And in that ilk
I also painted my face, with blues, whites, pinks, blacks, golds
And it was late when I stepped out, and in the very holds
Of the night that a lady like I should find terrifying, but I walked
The quarter of an hour to the Silk Mill; talked
For something more like four or five,
Face sharp, hair artfully mad, alive
In every sense, aided by the fine cocktails in this student setting
I could enchant all in four languages, and I did, forgetting
For a bit that another one of my faces I believe to be repugnant:
Because it begs for attention; and my current, commanded it
Because I came expecting nothing, and asking nothing,
And I quite frankly didn't give a d@mn about much of anything,
But if I wasn't very much a part of the room, and very much she
Whom every boy needed to speak to, and would ideally keep the company
Of, if that wasn't I
Then every lie's a truth, and every truth, a lie.
I need to remember more often that I can be stunning, easily, if I just remember that I have standards.

— The End —