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jalalium Jan 2013
Hello,  I was born at the exact death of the 20th century
I was also born witness of the birth of the 21th, a new glory
And all events i am rhyming here are for me history
Since they were all buried when I had no memory
At, least supposed to but my case was desultory
back to 1973

A baby was born
between death and life he was torn
And to an unforeseen path he was sworn
Out of the hush of the womb, his ears perceived every sound as a horn

1977 and my first joy
The old place looked coy
he, now Simon, was playing with a toy
as every night, a ritual he seemed to enjoy
Again, that toy and only that toy he did employ
Me, I could not get my eyes of a doll, everything else you could destroy
The doll that did not exist to the boy

And deep inside of me i wish i could brush her hair
But I could not even feel air
my eyes tore up and my hopes i decided to spare
suddenly a flare
And I saw three circles, I swear
This seemed rare
Even under shock, I could see Simon sitting there
I did not know why of him only i was aware
And about my existence, he did not care
This did not seem fair
He suddenly and brutally shook his hair
Like if he was hearing a blare
And his pain i hoped to share
but it was pain he could bare


He recovered in a blink of an eye
at first he turned his head and seemed shy
Then he took the doll but why?
he brushed her hair and care he did apply
I would do it the same way if i was a guy
Oh My!
Thrill of joy really made me cry
It is the first time that reality to my wishes did comply
I don't have wings but I believe i can fly
The butterflies in my tummy made me reach the sky
Then, he stopped, held his neck wry
And without knowing where to look said hi


1989 and I was still confused
at times I was amused
at times my soul was abused
The time when he did what i refused
All the time that was misused
But wounds have bruised
and everything was excused

Like when Simon sought privacy
And even from me he wanted to hide
but that showed inefficacy
And in discovering his body he took pride


He was as hot as the sun
And he seemed to have a lot of fun
His sight was fixed in the fashion of a look at a loved one
I needed to know my body to get what was done

My body was totally different, built in an other way
More like those girls that took him away
I felt jealous how he chose with whom to play
I was mad, with him i did not want to stay
I wanted my own body with no delay

And in this mixture of feelings I saw it again
This 2000 is driving me insane
And I bet he will feel it too in his brain
to calm the pain, this time he had to crane

He stood up and went to his sister's room
He was looking for something specific, I presume
He was looking for a costume
Girly underwear, a dress and perfume
I suddenly felt lighter than a plume
The senses that I do not have felt a boom
I felt like home I assume
I came into being, I was out of the gloom
It was short, my existence waved away, my dreams were spume
Finally he slept, all his energy and mine he did consume

And that one night was dramatic
That one dream was tragic
Simon seemed ecstatic
He also seemed older but I did not panic
He was not alone and it got problematic
He was with a young girl, she was static
I was the girl and it got enigmatic
I saw the flash again, this time it was emphatic
And for the first time I slept, it was systematic
And for four years, I dreamed, it was monochromatic

After I woke up all my confusion found explanation
And I learned a whole lot from this dream's narration
And to understand it all, it took me gobs of concentration
Finally, from all my pain and sorrow I found salvation
That 2000 I kept seeing will be the end of my gestation
Simon was not a mystery anymore, with him I had a relation
He was my father, and his dream found explication
During those two years, I listened to a long oration
And I learned tons about my father's future reputation
Still, some issues needed cogitation
What was I doing in this generation?
What caused this weird agitation?
Did Simon feel the same sensation?
Oh! shall I call him daddy now, his true appellation?
I was in sedation
Thinking about the identity of my mother gave me palpitation

1993 and my father was in college
He was so hopeful yet so depressed
He spent days and nights seeking knowledge
but he did not he was going to be the best

I felt his pain, his fear
his future didn't seem clear
I wanted to tell him about his great year
That he will be a pioneer
His success will be sincere
And his talent will be admired throughout the sphere

But I talked facts and he heard inspiration
And what he will accomplish became now his fixation
He could feel the joy of the standing ovation
The one where I stood to proclaim his vocation
He fell in the temptation
And enjoyed the fruits of his ongoing plantation
He sensed my presence and crashed in frustration

1997 And the years left were few
And I did not know how i'll get through
My father was traveling to Peru
When he drowned in her eyes, they were blue
This seemed like a deja vu
This was my mother, this was my only clue
And all along, her he tried to woo
I was excited to meet someone new
someone that could be my mother, my debut
Of them being together I enjoyed the view
But my guesses were untrue
And from this relationship he withdrew
And the two of them said Adieu

1998 and all this is approaching its end
My father was lonely with no friend
and to him love and amiability I did send
And his knowledge of me did ascend
but he was seeing me as his girlfriend
I admit, this situation did offend
I wish he could comprehend

Maybe he was confused  
I wanted to show him how gorgeous I will be
But only the beauty he did see
And his body he abused
To materialize what he pictured as beauty

He named me Stephany
Without understanding my entity
One time, he went out not sure of his identity
He first went somewhere I did not catch regretfully
And then He bought a necklace that said Stephany**

I knew it was for me
I felt life and joy
but I felt freezing
like if I were in cold storage
I did not know why?

1999 and it's the end of March
If my dreams were true
Simon should ******* soon
But he did not
Nothing out of the usual
Except one random thing
A few days ago, I felt warmth
I felt life, I felt agitation
But everything I could perceive was normal

2010, Now I am ten
Winter again
Cold and freezing as I was then
I know my father, I never met him, I will stay zen
May I find him and take away the cold Amen
Till then
I will immortalize it all with my pen.
Arindam Barooah Feb 2021
Muddled yet accountable.
Sober yet lively.
Impassive yet doting.
Mixed bag of traits
define him.
Bowlful of big hearted fondness
he carries to embrace all.
Conviviality and amiability
are his favourite words.
Pile of rendezvous,
easy reach outlook,
entangles him in a maze.
Still an apple of everyone's eye and
quite a loved soul.
Being you and always there,
with joy I proclaim,
cuddling happiness and ease.
Best of our camaraderie,
brimming with our fond memoirs
is yet to be savoured.
Attachment and affection remains,
Love, regard grows each day, to remain forever.
Blessed to have you brother, friend!!
ChinHooi Ng Nov 2022
Every morning the first thing
is do the subtraction
washing the body
from head to toe
drain all the crud
excretion
combing to get rid of some fallen hair
then do the addition
shove one capsule after another
down the stomach
when it's getting chilly
and there's no color green in front of you
take some vitamin C
to allow some green herbage
grow in your system
when it's dawn
and the sun keeps bouncing up and down
take some Prozac to reduce
the bumpiness of the road
when i was little
i was like a pill
trying to get into the tummy
the tummy was big and strong
and i was thrown all over the place
now the pill found that i was its rival
and had to tame my raging waves
i began to obey
the pill releases tenderness
and soothes me with a sanguine
emoji
it conducts the music
of the forest glade
inviting the swans
with its verdant melody
and my fingers no longer want
to reach the sky
my eyes choose the tranquility
of a placid lake
i even started liking the sound
of putrefaction that is not of impulse
but of delight in transiency
now i submit to this tiny ruler
mysterious yet earnest
that resides in the horizon
i like the freedom
i don't object to its amiability
nor its autocracy.
Linaji Nov 2011
Substratum

Beneath the surface there are blocks of time
a keep ticking ticker
investments in soiled identities that are loosing
clots of what never was.

There is treasure too, locked away in a nautilus shell
waiting for the call of the wild key
bits and bobs of let loose and fancy free
Also locked away is my familiar
azure blue and tonic green amiability

The 'cannot' telling is the buzzing round your
sailent (fears) ears,
like unused sails
slapping at thin defeated air strikes called
possibilities...

here

I avoid all contact
(you asked me to)

yet here

you display stagnent reaction
with absent mind
you forget the yesterdays
and how you long to hear
what you ask me not to say

absent now
both of us have decided in secret:

lock out the playful place
slide below the surface (substratum)
(we find) serendipitous angst, common place
cross our fingers behind our backs
as promises

will not fix our fateful syntax

Linaji
Brittany Wynn Nov 2014
I hang up after speaking to a high school friend,
the idea of change and the past few years against the present’s
current creates an overcast in my head, like the nights
I sit outside, searching for the moon.
I’ve found liberty lingers in the harsh smell
of lent cigarettes. It collects in a shot glass, shines
in the eyes of my best friend as 2 AM ticks out
the blame she harbors and my ongoing inadequacies

stemming from the need to please teachers
and parents, my peers, earning me the gentle title
of Class Peach, which held expectations like
amiability and persisting kindness too high
for me to knock off the shelf of reputation.
Academics pushed me, but books and poetry allowed
me to look through the keyhole, a world
where humanity rips off restraints to help
each other become free, encouraging the trip
along white and yellow lines leading to different places.
the beings who float around in outer space
will never come to reside in this place
they've observed our warring ways
and from them they wish to stay away

they seek a residency of peacefulness
not a planet of ugliness and cruelness
their craft keep whizzing past here
our planet is so wet with so many tears

their way of life is founded on harmony
they are beings who live for amiability
our weaponry would make them so so sad
as they know that they are so very bad

they are ever watching us killing each other
and they'd never do this to their brothers
they believe in the power of dialogue
not of conflict and deadly catalogues

so fear not earthlings about space beings
they are steering clear of all human beings
war fare shall not assail us from space
the beings from space are a placid race
the beings who float around in outer space
will never come to reside in this place
they've observed our warring ways
and from them they wish to stay away

they seek a residency of peacefulness
not a planet of ugliness and cruelness
their craft keep whizzing past here
our planet so wet with so many tears

their way of life is founded on harmony
they are beings who live for amiability
our weaponry makes them ever so sad
as they know that it is so very bad

they're ever watching us killing each other
and they'd never do this to their brothers
they believe in the power of dialogue
not of conflict and deathly catalogues

so fear not Earthlings about space beings
they're steering well clear of all human beings
war fare shall not assail us from space
the beings from space are a placid race
I've married the ideas of war and space beings together and came up with this piece.
Brea Brea May 2013
The real question I am asking here
up and over the stillness of cold water, I cry out into this vast world
Will your amiability bid you dance with a skeleton?

or throw her into the *** of the sea
given she trust herself enough to divulge herself in meeting thee

and from the waters you hoisted my unembellished identity with your feeble hands

I have shown you my true self as hard and ridgid
as coarse as sand
wont you display, your darkest primordial wishes
or does it manifest as all that I see you for now?

with insights into mortality will you spare just a tear
in sight of your own morality
for your wounds

it will kindle in me a thirst I've not yet quenched
even as the rolling ocean was wrenched from inside me

perhaps I'm offered this gift, I may very well present a gift for you
You lacked the experience to meet me fully through...
Thy moon and thy stars hath all been taken
Her heart lives no longer in thy sphere
Our harmony of one hath been forsaken
It skipped well out of the atmosphere
Where once love did sing its beaming refrain
Murky clouds of mistrust came along to stay
Thy realm e'er replete with pain's lasting stain
How could of it all ended this very way
Reason's voice did speak to thy heart so clear
Love hath drifted to a far locality
On paths separate not meant to endear
Thy shall seek a lady of amiability
Though all is shaded in a heavy slate lead
Thy shall eye horizons that lay ahead
The stars I cannot reach, they're as far as the pastor on the pulpit as he'd preach. They're as vague as mother's speech when she'd teach
Prison walls concealing me. High walls confining me
Caged in a cubicle, I'm a boisterous being
I'm at a den
I'm the lion and the prey
Words slap me back as I pray
It's a wrestling match between myself and my demons

Where if higher I'd have  undeniable intellect and reason
I am a slave of hope and a sorry case for dreams
When will I leave this place where they took my life away
Was it so horrible that crime that with my life I had to pay?

Prison bars I draw the energy and strength of the steels as I hold
I am getting out of this place wise and bold
Sunrise reminds me of regret, how I let them take my life away,
How I had to be militant,
unyielding and fight on the day
Prison bars fade so I can see the way
Rain or shine I have only pain and sorrow to claim as mine

It's a dark place in which cries echo and songs of weeping are sung
There was a number of men singing songs of sore souls and I heard the heartbeat of a woman

Moments still live and I levitate, my heart cascades and the memory remains firm and thorough,
the memory of love, the unity of family, the memory of amiability and brotherhood
The memory of the forgotten wars and the terror of crippled minds
What weapons have I to save a dying legacy?

Prison bars acknowledge the vocal emotion that is within me and free me
Yield as you realise they can't take my soul
Yield as you notice that a home could heal
Surrender for I have a worldly good in store
Shake and dither as the beating of my heart makes you uneasy
Break down as I refuse to stay down
Melt as I cry out tears as hot as lava
Give me a chance to find a lover
Prison bars give me chance to create another

I hear the wings of a bird flapping and I remember the breath of life
The song that faith inspires lives again
I sound deafening noises that eradicate the constriction
I hold it firmly til it comes crumbling down
It is an army of a new generation
Soldiers who have souls
Prison bars fall down to the floor
It is a tale it is folklore
There's more to life than death; I die no more
In a confinement concentration the first time you see somebody stabbed, *****, guards attacking the captives, blood sports: you lose yourself
The fifth time, seventeenth time you see it you just spit
Over time certain tortures and inflictions of pain
Violent acts that you witness  make you lose emotional response
You feel so much pain that many things don't hurt anymore
You become numb

They make you a monster and then they blame you for revolting
They take you through  malevolent thought-forms that they orchestrate consciously and blame you for becoming a monster
Who is the real monster?
The wise will tell you; the boys in the kitchen-the chemists
Rehabilitation centres? More like dehumanization camps for creating mind-controlled slaves and social vegetables
Jail desensitizes.
unwilling of compunction
not the demeanor saturated
in friendships coagulation
e'er the situation constant
doth prevail

retracted the hand
withdrawn
amiability not available
amity the linking of finger tips
across the vast expanse of the seas

so often we forget
our foreign brothers and sisters plight
and ne'er stretch out our arms
to ameliorate their difficulties of night

humanity
has lost
its ability
to give of affability
Zeynep Çiçek May 2019
Is it true?
Think thoroughly

Close the doors
Are you ready to face them?

You don’t have to be the one
That opens the curtains in the morning
But why not?
How about we try?

Consecutive success sounds boring
Let’s try something new this time
Just for once
It probably won’t hurt

It’s much easier to stop than you think
It’s mostly your childhood bias that makes you think so
Children find it hard to resist pleasure
You? Not as much as them

Experiment
It’s fun to do every once in a while

Sometimes you’ll see something interesting at school

You don’t need to befriend every single person
In the same vein,
You don’t need to have everyone’s amiability
It would be better, but it’s not necessary

You will meet some friends
Some who will stay with you
Some who shared a chapter of your life
And gave their farewells
And one
(Or two. Or three. However you like)
Of those who stay
Will be your lover
(Or lovers. However you like)

Sometimes it’s easier to laugh than mope

If doing something for yourself means
That you should do something you dislike
Choose one. There’s no wrong answer
But remember the consequences
You might not always like them

When you decide you want to love
Deciding is enough
It might come, or it might not
Whatever it is, enjoy

You aren’t your ideal of beauty
But if you look at yourself long enough
In the mirror
You will see what some others do
Stare into your eyes
Caress the shape of your lips with your gaze
Try and stare apathetically at your reflection
You can’t

Do you have a hairy body?
Okay
Do you have a hairless body?
Alright

Decisions, decisions...
They make up most
But not all
Even so, it's a step

So your friend liked it
Do you actually want to lend it?
Do you feel obligated to?
Because if you don't want to, don't

If let, people will choose to ignore
Not many want to engage

You are what you want to be
You might not think so, but it counts
At least, where it matters

What matters who you love?
Relying on family's support...
It's nothing to worry about.
They'll die at some point, and you are free of them.
There's no shame in breaking off from the chain.

Keep your support, don't alienate them
But don't depend on them. For if you want freedom,
You need your own help

                                                But most of all
                                      
                            remember that everything will be okay.
For me to check every once in a while, advice for myself (when I forget)
Autumn Lewis Apr 2018
Your embrace makes my being lift.
When this occurs my heart and brain adrift.
As though they are two desolate currents.
Lorelei is your depiction , you're enchantment wields me to your control.
I have no choice but to be thole.
But this is the path I choose , you have no imperfection , I wouldn't gaze upon you if you weren't.
You contain a certain amiability
You possess gentility and stability that makes me undergo a sense of tranquility.
Never have I seen someone as you , who can stand brazen after all you've been through.
I just have a aspiration that the world also would see what I do.
But I'm afraid they may go blind because you're so bright.
I hope you liked my plight.
Dedicated to my only love Ender
Mary Rios Nov 2018
She does not perorate to him, fear fills her mind & croor why?...it is unknown but everytime their eyes meet her child skips a brum beat, her paunch gets overwrought in his presence, her soul longs for his aid, her child longs for his amiability, her oculus longs for his oculus to domineerin' hers, her frame longs for his predilection, her hand longs for his...but winter rests long & stubbornly between them she serenades for him but he evades her serenades she falls on her knees & weeps & ensecure herself like a tranchula does.
Weeks feel like months somber is her new lust partner, her life companion & their child is the one that loafs in her *******, tucked away, unpoisonous. Her child is what keeps the muted predecessor alive & what made her so stonewall & untrustin' bourgeois to emancipate her & her child...the muted predecessor & her child have been indignant to many times & she isn't contingentin' never more, mother grows enervated & distended from the correlations she went through & the many bourgeois her child has met & adored deeply & who it has played with & now predecessor & progeny are aghast to amity & entrust anyone they meet...
Wk kortas May 2021
She had, to be fair, a rather nice voice,
Pleaant in a steamy-shower-and-church-choir sort of way,
So it hadn’t been simply empty patter on his part
The opportunistic language of courting
(Though there was no shortage of that,
But she’d recognized it as such, writing it off
As something she’d deal with later)
And so she would serenade him,
Softly if not just simply humming,
In one of the common rooms
Scattered about the cold cow college they attended,
Or some bench on campus
During the fleeting bits of summer or spring
The land enjoyed before the earth locked-up for the winter,
And later still after the requisite preambles
Involving showers of rice and self-conscious dancing,
Gaily tossed garters and force-fed cake,
Her voice retaining its amiability,
Though often for her sole enjoyment,
As there were late meetings and flat tires,
Out of town conferences and overdue notices,
And in time those nattering bits and bobs
Which required their presence in separate locales
Seeped under the same roof,
Their dinners together brief gulped-down affairs,
The evenings spent in separate rooms
Perched in front of separate screens,
The chasm only breached by infrequent *******
(The process either perfunctory expressions of guilt
Or hopelessly frenetic and ultimately empty)
And she would often don a set of headphones,
Pulling up playlists of the old songs,
Though there seemed to be an emphasis
On those tunes of a rather minor key.
Squarely conscientious, I unwittingly
sanction selfhood acutely triangulate
courtesy webbed geometry jeopardize,
galvanize pluck nudging contrived arc,
virtually courting temptation aware,

sans impetuousness compromises an
anonymous commingling, nonetheless
electronic fraternization enthralls mine
plucky chutzpah possibility intrigues
yours truly sporting impish grinning

smile across world wide web unsure
quasi cryptic communication decrypted
maybe imperfectly interpreting message
this enamored disembodied spirit doth
chance circling foursquare kibitizing

downplaying grand illusion spontaneity
gist ripples thru this human entity while
comfortably cushioned buffered against
disappointment accepting outcome - par
for the course amidst cyber spatial gulf

nothing ventured brings disappointment
more often than not, this solitary fellow,
a beetle browed fool on the hill smarting
over...he ne'er gathered rosebuds fruitless
ruing foregone opportunities, hence tho'

cocooned against adverse outcome revel
at fleeting giddiness affixing envisioned
smile upon unknown reader, or perchance
another veritable stranger, cuz amiability
need not be sole providence aimed at one
select web surfer, but extended warm free

greeting permissible allow one imperfect
troubadour to sprinkle pleasantries to any
person, whose scrolling intersects with my
genuine not "FAKE" aery mission to offer
abiding friendship e'en if limited to realm
of harmonized synthesized online reality.
KelvinG Feb 2020
conflictions drown minds 
when blurred by our afflictions
So share some compassion
Do you have the ability
To hold amiability
To save hearts
With the warmth of your hands
To save others from drowning
Cuz
Generations come and go
Crumble and never form
But will we
Grow, hold, and mold
To save the only mother we share?
U B Jul 2021
nearby a tree,

well-acquainted from each passing season flowing into the other -

through smudged glass, inside a bleak chamber

where aurora timidly enters past the all-embracing shutter

seldom seen by the sun herself, let alone a neighbor

a lack of amiability, a lack of sanity, perhaps a lick of calamity

for the ego is a famished beast, emerges viciously from the pits

of torment, quelled fleetingly until high time for a feast strikes:

it errupts and errupt it will! - so let it dwell within once more.



nearby a tree,

on the comfort of concrete across ever so slight damp meadows -

to ponder the cracks and wildflowers, the wind gently soughs

in harmony with a sonorous choir of boughs

curious cattle - a herd of cows

listening; listening to distant calls of birds -

to the cries of my withering soul and my words sealed still

for the ego is a famished beast - lurking nearby this tree
Jelisa Jeffery Feb 2020
I look at life
With a warm cloak around me,
The mantle of your amiability
And when you unfastened the veil
Over my eyes,
To my surprise,
I saw the Elysian Fields,
Waterfalls
Mountains high,
Kaleidoscope lullabies
And all my fantasies underpinned
By the foundation we blanketed
The quilt of our proclivities
The dreams we animated
The dance we seize
Our castles in the air
Our lair
I’m struck with glee,
I’m thankful for your anatomy,
I’m thankful that you took me there
newborn Jul 2023
the reflection of tangerine sunset on the rainy road and the wide expanse of kansas is the pretty i want to be.

the mystery soaking in the wound.
some sun-tanned lady with a ballgown.
a rose bush absent of the thorns.

the burial sight of an isolated victim.
an unspoken but understood shadow.
the willow tree’s branches after a nightly frost.

the strange white light before death.
the neatly tidied vanity.
a polite aftershock after a raging earthquake.

the sandals,
the beachside condominiums,
the skyline with white stripes.

my amiability
surging through the atmosphere,
singing for salvation.
the happiness of life.

7/7/23

— The End —