Sinner

What have I done to my world?

Egrets

Pelicans

Whales

Are you diving into the plume

A 10 mile depth of black hell?

Are you in another dimension now?

Have you given up on this world of

Easy living?

I am guilty.

I work too much and care less

As one superficial lifestyle Blends into the other

Money seems like security blanket

It is Not.

My land is covered in a part of me that dies

As the sea spits up the overdose of

Consumerism.

Each time I feel the powerlessness of hope fade

I take my plastic water bottle and throw it into a

Bin labeled

RECYCLE…

HA!

Plastic

OIL OIL OIL…

PLASTIC

******* Hell,

I bet oil is in my food chain somewhere

A box that makes it easy to cook in

A packing tool to deliver me the goods

OIL OIL OIL

Saturated Guilt

I feel like a harlot

A sinner

A part of something I cannot stop

I don’t want my world to look like this

Stop Me.

From the desire for convenience

Let me take living down a notch or two

Let me see with a part of me that is lost

THIS IS A CRY IN

(the
sledge of redemption)

I remember my body gave me another chance

When I filled it with poisons that made me feel good (you know what they are)

Will you do the same?

Oh heavenly body that holds my own.

Can you ever forgive me?

Linaji

let’s not hesitate
let’s not broach the subject; butterflies are free
transform the unknown purgatories fall
from lofty 'par for the course' concepts to living life in purity

they fly a short flight (that’s restless)
  they fall towards the trees (that’s abandon)
    they light my eyes without hesitation

                                                     ­                  (that’s free)

                          "Oh my butterflies of clipped existence
                                                       ­                                       bring me more loves lighthearted clarity"

Substratum

Beneath the surface there are blocks of time
a keep ticking ticker
investments in soiled identities that are loosing
clots of what never was.

There is treasure too, locked away in a nautilus shell
waiting for the call of the wild key
bits and bobs of let loose and fancy free
Also locked away is my familiar
azure blue and tonic green amiability

The 'cannot' telling is the buzzing round your
sailent (fears) ears,
like unused sails
slapping at thin defeated air strikes called
possibilities...

here

I avoid all contact
(you asked me to)

yet here

you display stagnent reaction
with absent mind
you forget the yesterdays
and how you long to hear
what you ask me not to say

absent now
both of us have decided in secret:

lock out the playful place
slide below the surface (substratum)
(we find) serendipitous angst, common place
cross our fingers behind our backs
as promises

will not fix our fateful syntax

Linaji

You know what it’s like to be alone with god?

(long version)

(An infinite rustle of ideas
Silenced in this steady heart.)

Here my shoes fall freely
god knows I’m hungry for primitive answers; you see I relate to
life’s barefoot minimum while maintaining a full set of
godly lotus lashes, who’s petals fall like thin paper trails
where I rest my mind as I savor earths crooning tempo

At night with you god the fires burn like morning coals
Just enough to start the coffee, Just enough to wash my face
Just enough to sip away night trails made of lust from another existence.
genuflection in prayer is my choice because this position lends me a humbleness that makes clear my own yearnings, my desires are purified into understanding that I can never stop this flow of desire.
I pray with connective tissue smells of jasmine and myrrh and pinpoint the dust bowls of fury hiding north of my shoulder blades.

I am soothed by the contrast, where I bow my head and make my own pearls of wisdom to follow, you hummm to my knowing, you dance to my foibles like prince did in purple rain. You never ask for love,
I Just feel like love.

I ponder:
don’t you think god that this fermenting human existence is innocent after all?
after the fall
(after birth love’s forgotten all knowing)

for it is in birth
I am blinded by my mothers cooing call
and now, that’s all.
It really does not matter why I forgot
I remember now
All of this ‘knowing’ triggered by my failings

Triggered by the lack of ‘others’ to fill me up
Triggered by the desperation to know who I really am
because of my … failings

I look above and our likeness is astounding,
I may faint in the truth of it ALL…
I am flush to the bone
I fall
Landing in the crucifix position
Against the wall of Desdemona’s illusions I lift the veil

I open up to your call

(The

All

In

All)

You said, “and greater works shall ye do than me”
You said, “be still and know that I am god”.
“The seed does not fall far from the tree,” you said

The busy bees came through imagined murderous pesticides
That was my life (imagined) and their words hummed me towards my alignment

“accept your magnificence” they buzzed

then god said:

”change your focus and let your failings
fall like tears (did you say duckwater god?)

…magnify the joy”

And you will see

The

I (In You)

And
The

(You In)
Me.

Linaji 2011

she still* engages casuistic red-water birth
she still swims in the mote of her mother’s eye
grasping upward *(hope)  pure waters release
she wants more than peace,
she wants the ‘come out’ surprise,
earth’s birthed again ideas
a body not afraid of past lies.