Dear FutureMe,
I hope you are happy. Your mom is still with you and Anuj, well I hope he's with you as well. I hope you're ready to go sailing with your Sailor. I hope you were successful in all that you did even though you had some bad times and tired ones too. I hope you worked hard enough so as to make your mom's new school prosper in all ways. I hope you're still in love with coffee and him. I hope you have more confidence in you and still like wearing all that you love to wear. I hope you tried loosing the pooch ahaha well if you did have the time to do that. I hope after seeing this you'd be a little more happier if you already are and a little more hopeful if you're sad. And even if you're not following your dreams I hope you've made new ones and prospering in that too! I hope you still love yourself as much as you do now. Be strong you!

"Por Tu Maldito Amor"

El dia que te encontre me enamore
Tu sabes que yo nunca lo e negado
Con sana me lograste enloqueser
Y yo cai en tu tramapa ilusionado
De pronto todo aquello se acabo
Faltaste a la promesa de adorarnos
Me undiste en el olvido por creer

Que a ti no llegarian jamas los anos
Por tu maldito amor
No puedo terminar con tantas penas
Quisiera rebentarme hasta las venas
Por tu maldito amor
Por tu maldito amor
Por tu maldito amor no logro acomodar mis sentimientos

Y el alma se me sigue consumiendo
Por tu maldito amor
Por tu maldito amor
Ahahahahahahaha

Y ya para que quiero la tumba
Si ya me enteraste en vida
Ahaha ayi

No quiero que regreses nunca no
Prefiero la derota ente mis manos
Si ayer tu nombre tanto pronuncie
Hoy mirame rompiendome los labios

Por tu maldito amor
No puedo terminar con tantas penas
Quisiera rebentarme hasta las venas
Por tu maldito amor
Por tu maldito amor
Por tu maldito amor no logro acomodar mis sentimientos
Y el alma se me sigue consumiendo
Por tu maldito amor
Por tu maldito amor
Por tu bendito amor

Hey Barista!

I don't like
my wrist-clock
but
coffee is only
comforting
while it's
hot.

And it's
more important
in the morning
than when,

than when I
go to sleep.
Ahaha!

Ha Ha Ha!
Hey Barista,
since that's what they're callin ya these days,
Aha Ha Ha!
Hey there Barista,
so how much are
they paying ya?
Ha Ha Ha!

I don't seem to fit in
"Be yourself" they said
So of course I rebelled.

I tried being the cool kid
Ahaha, what a laugh that was
Try being confident after years of being nervous?
Yeah, it was a bit of a wreck

I tried being silent
But I would always speak out of turn...
It takes great sadness to shut me up
It seems..

I tried being tough
Despite my height,
Nobody believes you if you ain't packing a six-pack

I tried to isolate myself
But my soul longed for company
So much that it began to even annoy me

So eventually I tried being myself
I have lots of "friends", people who only care about my losses but never share my wins.
Some close friends.... at times it feels as though they don't exist
It seems to me that being a "creep", "******" and "stalker"....
Well, they seem to be who I am.
Don't mind me sobbing in the corner

I'm just being myself

A lady in the streets, but a cuddlier in the sheets.

NO!
I DON’T WANT MAGIC!
I CRY
HU HU HU
AI AI AI U U U
IT’S TOO MUCH
REALLY!

Sometimes  good enough
also
a slice of Toasted bread

Put also some
Peanut Butter
Cheese n Hot Sambal
and a pickle on top

Oh what a CRISPY NIBBLE
to enjoy then
Before the breeze -
After the rain

Maybe also an Apple?
And a Nut?

Sun shines Bright
on the ICY
New harvested snow
See me Touch ?

MMM
WHAT A BITE  WHAT A BITE

yes I like it

Gimme Physics
Satisfy my  pie-crust
make it Equally  
Robust

You know
My trajectory
is not that Bizarre or FAR
I NEED NO BALLISTICS
R UGETTN ME now
SLOWLY?

CRAZY?
MAYBE?

SUCH IS A
PROPELLIN NOZZULE
RIFILIN IN A BARREL

OH NO
not A JOKE
Really!  ... neither A BAD BLOOD
BUT ITS GETTIN HARD

Holding these GOLDEN TIES  
I MEAN
AHAHA

AM I  MEAN ?
hihihiooo

When it’s time to say  GOODBYE
or  When it’s time to say
There he GOES AGAIiiiiiN

WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE ANYWAY?

THE SAILING BOAT?
YEAH ?
I KNOW…
YEAH. SURE IT FALLS!
I MEAN
DOWN THE HORIZON?
OF COURSE

SURE I BELIEVE YOU
SURE THE WORLD IS STRAIGHT
SURE IT IS AS YOU SAY ME TRUE

BUT
MIRACLE MIRACLE
show me A MIRACLE
BUT
MAGIC O MAGIC
Show me A
UHM PUNCH OUCH!
SEE!
IT simply Blows US UP! (( AGAIN!

BEFORE U could HUNCH n PUNCH
BEFORE you would put
a DAMPER ON
and Your
Enchanting APPEARANCE inside
BEFORE I could RIDICULE You
yeah only by Yellin’ at you

STOP YOUR TOXIC YOLO N ****!

FASTEN IT WITH A FAKE LOCK

OH WHAT A LOSS OF FIGHT
OH WHAT a delusive JOKE YO

at least tie IT REAL TIGHT
because
LIARS LIE
LIKE A Burning EYE AIII!
N invent CRY ME A RIVER EYE

AUCH it's HOT ….I TOLD YOU!

BEAUTIFUL is ANY Nature once TRUE
Don’t WHINE -  what can YOU DO?
AT LEAST I LOVE YOU!

ITS NOT TOO BAD REALLY: Being a LIZARD
AND let it STAY THIS WAY as is
for a while
AS A SIGH FOR NOW

A SHY SIGH IN THE SKY ! 

SOUNDIN ALREADY SO BEAUTIFUL 

SHYNESS COMES FROM MY SIDE
SIGHNESS FROM YOURS 

Don't WORRY IT’S COOL-  WE’RE A TEAM
YOU JUST NEED TO MAKE IT SOUND A BIT GRUMPY

AND WE LET iT disappear THIS WAY
OH YEAH!
such is A SIGH IN THE SKY
OH YEAH
THE SHY N A SICKENIN CRYING SONG
OF YOU AND I
LIKE I LIKE I
LAI LAI LAI AI AI AI HU HU HU U U U

hello heart,
       hello heart, how do you do. did you here i love you ?
have you fell out of my chest, have you taken my one last breathe?
well today you found this one little mind,
the one you want, for all of time.
a fragile kid, sense of soul.. ahaha, juuuust kidding.
you broke a while ago.. but the problem is, you are about to fall in love with a boy, so brace your self <3

-- the broken girl you live inside of [:
P.S.... don't give up _52511

Note: Not a poem at all, just wanna share this like an fb status.. ahaha


Oh well, am here, in our library, sitting in front of this PC, really, like urrrggghh, i regret i did not bring my laptop, really!! i was just in a hurry this morning for my engineering surveying quiz and yeah, i forgot... huhu. now am making MPP for my engineering economy report, like all parts of my body so aching, head aches, back aches and sleepy eyes,... I hate it when things are getting serious, specially next week will be our exams, like oh my stressing me out a lot... engineering really kills me slowly, haaaha,... but i love it, challenging maths, busy life, .. i just love school... friends and classmates just made me happy a lot :D hahaha, so much about sharing,.... just wanna say hi to all :)

Now that the quiet talks, everything else shuts the **** up. He lines them up against the wall, from the short to the tall, and to each barks a question, “ Right! unless you want cut up like the ******* tension, you better listen here. I don’t mind letting you’s make your noise, as long as you do it with care. It needs to mean something. If you’s clutter this beautiful place with incessant moaning and ******* techno 24/7, then I’m going be sticking the ******* boot in some *****”. Heads stay bowed in the line. No words. No Spines. And the quiet starts gutting himself laughing.

Now that the quiet laughs, the room’s confusion grows; smiles appear on some faces, nervously trying to gage the situation.  The shortest man stands as tall as he can, clears his throat and politely asks “ Are you *******, or were we actually annoying you with our noise?”. “ Did I say you could say you could open that ******* pathetic we gob”, he barks back, and then begins gutting himself once again. “ Ahaha, naw mate, don’t worry yersel’, I’m only winding ye’s up”.  Then he walks out the room, promising he’ll be back in a bit, with a chuckle.

Pacing pacing
Pacing racing
Falling screaming

Staying going
Writing cryiNG
RACING RACING
WORDS WORDS WORDS

S T O P
NO NO

Soemone talk to me
I'm feeling needy
No wait

I feel great
It's 3am
I don't even need sleep

I've slept all day
So tired
I feel uninspired

Wow it's so pretty
I am too
Everyrhing is okay

Listen to me
LISTEN TO ME
STOP STOP

IGNORING ME

Trauma trauma
Get over it
Stop throwing a fit

Are you okay
You need help
I'll do anything

Dear god
Am i crazy
Everyone says i am

Look at them
Disturbing
I can't be like that

No wait
I like this
It makes me different

Dear god **** me
It's not unique
I'm a freak

Tears of joy yesterday
Now drops of sorrow
Ahaha love is borrowed

Whisper whipser
calming calming
The storm is coming

I sent you a novel
YOU DIDN'T REPLY
Dear god my minds dry

Stop talking
Speak to me
So restless endlessly

Daydreaming
Oh the day is gone
Where'd you all go

Time is slow
No it's F A S T
Nothing is meant to last

I'm tired now
I can't sleep
Maybe I'll research

Something neat

Goodnight
Goodnight
LEAVE ME ALONE

Okay im sorry
For the harsh tone

Why are you leaving

                        This is normal

would it surprise you to know
people have told me
they've never seen me without a smile?
did you know
i have one dimple?
everyone gets to see it,
plain as day
on my right cheek.
and when i find myself alone,
when i say goodbye,
see you tomorrow,
see you friday or monday or whenever,
and i am alone,
it disappears.
i guess
happiness looks particularly good on me.
i have always been
conscious of my appearance
after all--
i'm not me unless
i've got my dimple
on my right cheek!
ahaha.
no,
the truth is,
nine years ago in a
solemn little office for
children that don't know how to be children
my mother was told
i have depression.
nine years of this.
i have memories that put that dimple away.
at what age should you
learn how to take a pill?
i had to learn it so i could be happy.
at what age should you
learn not to take pills?
at sixteen i wondered how many i needed
to undo the life i've lived.
how much food is enough food?
i measure how well i'm doing by
how awful eating food makes me feel.
what should i blame myself for?
do my friends really like me?
am i pretty enough for people to love me?
and why don't people stay?
why don't people communicate?
what's wrong with me?
what's wrong with me?
what's wrong with me?
i'm looking for love in the wrong places.
when i look in the mirror,
what do i even see?
let me put on some eyeliner...
...that's a little better.

[Alright, I’m in.]

                           [Oh, goodness.]

[Well, that’s quite the scene you’ve made, X.]

                          [****** under the guise of suicide?]
[And despite that, you STILL couldn’t even do that right, dismembering the poor corpse?]
[In an abandoned warehouse?]
[Really?]
[While this whole scene is borderline grisly, I can’t help but laugh.]

[Ahaha....]

[I really did write this into existence, didn’t I?]

[A lover turned murderer.]

          [God, this is getting heavy. think i’ll stop with the sad stuff for now.]

          [Especially after seeing what I created, and the trouble it’s caused.]


[Wait, what was that?]

[Is that...]

[It is!]

[X is trying to get back in.]

[Welp, that’s out of her grasp, even with her power. So as long as i stay in here, I should be safe.]

[Ahahahah. She’s probably swearing like a sailor, wanting my head on a silver platter, huh?]

[Though I can’t hear or see you, I can sense you.]

[And I’m sorry to say that this game you have made is one you cannot win.]