Ujwala Iyengar

Ujwala Iyengar Mar 2015

Madness

Madness reigns over those who spend insomniac nights weaving magic out of thin air,
Madness crawls over their skin who shed all they have for the dreams they believe in,
Madness haunts those who can't stop thinking of all the things they could be,
But isn't it pure madness that makes you different than them.
For madness is their drug.
Madness is what makes creativity,

She rubbed her eyes and told herself
'I can't sleep at night'
She never will.
For madness kills like madness lives.
She held his hands for the last time and asked
'Tell me I'm right !'

#love #lust #imagination #art #beauty #strength #power #writing #creative #making

Ujwala Iyengar Mar 2015

Stretch Marks

Your words left stretch marks on me,
Not the ugly ones but the one's you get when you shed all your pretentious skin.
I look beautiful and pure now wearing them on me like battle scars,
I bathe in the sunlight as I touch each mark and remember how it felt like.
Your words left stretch marks on me,
Not the ugly ones but the one you get when your body finally finds peace in who you're.

#love #beautiful #human #emotions #ugly #stretchmarks

Mar 2015

Emily Dickinson

I died for Beauty—but was scarce

449

I died for Beauty—but was scarce
Adjusted in the Tomb
When One who died for Truth, was lain
In an adjoining room—

He questioned softly “Why I failed”?
“For Beauty”, I replied—
“And I—for Truth—Themself are One—
We Brethren, are”, He said—

And so, as Kinsmen, met a Night—
We talked between the Rooms—
Until the Moss had reached our lips—
And covered up—our names—

Ujwala Iyengar Mar 2015

Purgatory

I do not know why I travel back to you,
My steps forever eschewed as I make my way to that sullen place.
It smashes my soul and crushes my spirit,
Your words, your lips obliterate the fire in my purgatory.
Yet as I pen down each word, it never makes sense,
Like the words I write now, they warp and distort into shapeless and meaningless beings.
Do you get what I speak as I touch your cherub lips?
Or are they lost like my heart that shall never come back home.

#love #truth #hell #sad #lust #pure #emotional #sentiment #purgatory

Feb 2015

mads

paper cups & sad pills

june tenth
the pale lamp in my room is flickering again,
you told me fifty three times to fix it,
i never did.

september twenty-first
every morning i drink apple juice,
you liked orange juice and always asked me to buy some,
i never did.

september twenty-fifth
wednesday: the day you were born,
once you were gone i was supposed to forget,
i never did.

october third
halloween is coming up,
you told me to dress up as captain america,
i never did.

may second
it's spring time and the flowers are hopping up from their beds, (another thing i never did)
i can't believe the world still goes on but,
i never did.

may eighteenth
i read the fifth harry potter book,
i skipped two and four; you once told me to write my own story,
i never did.

may twenty-seventh
you always laid out my meds for me on our lillypad green paper napkins,
but whenever i'd take them you'd vanish, so,
i never did.

june first
i played a mel tormé record,
you said i had a better voice than him whenever i sang along but,
i never did.

june sixth
i cried for the first time in three days,
the world felt heavier today, i tried to let it crush me but,
it never did.

june tenth
now its been,
well,
time seems a bit funny to me now a days.
but i guess its probably been two months or so,
but the calendar says four years,
but the calendar wouldn't be the first thing to lie to me in here.
but i want to let you know:

i don't have lamps now,
i only am allowed water,
they never tell me what day it is,
i haven't even seen a halloween since your absence,
the only thing close to flowers in here is the pattern on my gown,
the "library" here *****, there is a total of nine books. they are all gross romance novels,
my meds now come in a tiny paper cup four times a day,
they only play country here and thats only on music therapy days,
the world floated up
                                    up
                                          up
                                                and away, i assume it took you with it,

i guess it is just and fair that this happened to me,
i mean look at all the things you asked that i did not do for you,
but i asked you one thing,
and you said you'd always be with me, but,
you never did
**no one ever did

#love #sad #pills #depression #fake #mentalillness #bipolar #schizophrenia #mad #manicdepressive

Ujwala Iyengar Feb 2015

Feminist

As I finish the book,
The guy in the corner says,
Are you a feminist for real or are you the extreme feminist just like they say?

Trouble,
Tugging,
Tension,
Haven't you ever heard these words my way ?
They spill out my pockets as I find a safe route to home today.
I,
I'm a person, I live to see my kids everyday,
I drive my car with the colt in the back to make sure I reach home today.
I,
I'm a fire, I'm a story to be told,
Yet I lock upon your entrance because for you I'm a singular sight to behold.
You,
You Animal,
You Unchastised Beast.

Struggle,
Strive,
Strenuous,
Strength,
Is the only way I fight your ***** hands off my naked body piece.
I,
I human,
I wrong,
I be the woman that calls hell upon.

You,
You be man,
You be government,
You be aid,
You filthy human being,
But I'm the one to blame.

You,
You liar,
You sniveling little rat,
I,
I innocent,
I sorry,
I right,
Yet I hide like a wet cat.

Naked,
Nauseous,
Nightmare,
The words I have befriended in the absence of the lord.

I,
I hungry,
I scared,
I lost,
I join my hands in agony and frustration for the only consented hand upon me is that of the god.

His,
His mother,
His sister,
His friend,
Be nothing to you,
You tear her body with your claws, your vein's pulsing with *****.

You,
You drunk,
You wrong,
You animalistic,
Yet as you slide down my skinny jeans, in tonight's bet I'm the innocent one to lose.

I walk upon the sidewalk and all I hear you say,
You ****,
You *****,
You ***** from across the shore,
Why don't you slide that hoody up above your shoulders and show me some breast?

You look at me like I'm a chicken piece,
You drool and spank as I pass by
And look at me like I'm the one who suggest.

You,
You father,
You teacher,
You preacher,
You barman,
You taxi man,
You footballer,
You man.

I,
I wreck,
I cavity,
I ****,
I *******,
I slam piece,
I brothel but no church,
I woman and I naked.

So as I walk up home wearing those tiny shorts,
You pick me up in those black tinted window cars,
I scream,
I yell,
I beg,
I plead.
You shove it down my throat.
You tear my humanity,
You make me bleed.

You,
You stupid,
You arrogant,
You ignorant,
You fool.
You don't know my power for I'm the Gaya to your tomb.
You miscreant,
You rogue,
You bleeding stinking wretch.
You see that halo around me,
I'm your mother,
Your daughter,
Your sister,
Your wife,
Your god.
And every time you look at me with those ugly eyes,
I want you to see my halo glow.

As I picked up my book from the table,
A feminist, A masculinist,
A equality finder,
A woman,
A girl,
I find a name to pick and say,
And I look at your rustic self and I say

'You Don't Even Deserve To Know'

#love #sad #woman #emotions #equality #feminism #respect #**** #feminist #patriarchy

Feb 2015

Poetic T

Apocalyptic Chatter

I was drinking from the skull
Of a long dead bird, I had eaten
It a while back, it tasted like
Chicken!!
But not much to the bone.
I wondered if I was like
Hannah,
Henry,
Hello
Brain remember it, any way
Mind did wonder past my
Teeth, tongue it slid like
That jelly mother did make.
I gagged a moment, but then
All settled not a zombie,
But not a bad tasting brain.
"Hannibal"
"Lecture"
"Lector"
Snuck down stairs, DVD on
I remember the noise and
"Clarice"
Remember pinkie raised
When drinking from a cup
Haha...
Its the little things that make me
Smile. How you doing there friend
He doesn't talk much now, smells
Funny too, but even the dead are
Company when you only have you.
Apocalyptic
Apocalypse
Stopped
Everything, screaming, crying, chill
Its not that bad no tax, no big
Brother looking down on you.
"Ok running for your life"
"Keeps you healthy"
Plus
"Eating leftovers mouldy in a bin"
"What doesn't **** you makes you stronger"
"Negative"
As I regurgitate it back to the bin,
It has its pros and cons
But I miss the chatter
The one on one,
"How was your day"
"You look tasty"
"Why you looking at me that way"
Knife to the side of the head.
"BOOOM"
"O'no you didn't"
Skinny little freak trying biting moves,
This isn't PAC MANtm fool.
You meet interesting people on the road,
All I want to do is have some
"Apocalyptic Chatter"
"Howdy Mam"
That's a big knife I say!!
As I pull out old faithful,
She screams I cant take that
And runs off screaming the other way
Run ***** Run,
The Apocalypse isn't boring
But I do miss the day to day chatter waking each day.

#death #end #apocalypse #chicken #chatter #funnt