The best pain of today
Is the hope you had yesterday,
Loosing to the regrets
of what is passed;

Now, pick up,
Pick up,
Pick up the shards

And wound yourself;
Wound yourself hard

I've grown so much,
yet I feel small.

even if I tried,
would they notice me
at all?

.
.
the silence of the midnight sea,
was like the echo of society,
is this what was it supposed to be?
.
a grey cloud overshadows me,
I am withering.

I don't remember
many memories of comfort,
or maybe I'm just biased

since I forget how it is,
the time it ends

It's exhausting.

I yearn for things
that I desire,
and to these thoughts
at the end of the night,
it forever keeps me up
beneath the clouded
and desolate sky

I can't help but,
to grasp
the glimmering
dewdrops of the sky

in the end,
we're all alone tonight

.
.
what I feel is,
confusing, fragile,
and rapidly changing

I am no Shakespeare;
not good in words but,
just a person who chained themselves
and lost the key

I write to feel, to procrastinate,
and maybe to blow off steam;
Hoping that each work bleeds
the feelings I want you to feel

being a crybaby is hard,
when you can't cry;
being emotional is frustrating,
when everything is too much

you bleed inside,
when you want to
act on those feelings,
[Not everything; can be expressed freely.]
That feeling is clawing
from the very depths of your being

They want to be free, do they not?
Despite that, they'll call you crazy
for feeling such things

Better to be rational
yet, they'll call you heartless.
maybe, something balanced would do

overwhelming feelings is a crime,
I guess dad told me why.

Society and its reality is relentless
a few several mistakes and
everything is in flames,
before you know it

I wish that I can grow
a garden out of words

that way,
I'll be as comforting
like the cold breeze
on a blissful night

then, seeing autumn
will feel so right

but, instead of those

I have this
glaring eyes,
that angers my father
every time

I'm envious of how people can be like sceneries,
so beautiful and alluring

yet, I am just...

Never to speak
in front
of an audience;
fearing to breathe
with the
curtains falling
as I cry
in shame

nothing was enough,
I really tried
maybe not much

as it is not sufficient
I do nothing
and tried

Everything.
everything, was it?

i sat idly on the floor
with headphones to
drown the thoughts and all

for my actions failed to express,
and so does my words.

everybody
is after love
these days,
they want
to receive
loving words
each day
.
even I
want to be loved
but
.
.
.
I don't want
a partner

Summer in the equator,
this fire burning inside me;
wounds me

I hate it
cool it down;
Now.

turn it up,
like music within a crowd
dance like those people in the club

cloud the thoughts
with noises

...so loud

-Br.

This heart filled with fury
that I feel ever so empty;
My mind was blurry,
while my fists are moving.

Jenga with words seems easy yet,
every brick I grasp for,
tumbles right back at me

Echoes of that lying indulgence
for the ideal world left out in the open;
calls to you.

And due to the loneliest somber room
you've kept yourself as a prisoner,
all you do is try and grip the walls

Forever looking into the lens
with a filter of that serene land in your head,
a dream that you continue...
to live through.

Write it down;
in my dictionary

maybe I'll magically do it
...someday

I once believed
that I was unique,
now
a fool

if you borrow the eyes
of those who envy,
you'll be surprised to see how much beauty
they can see— in every little thing.

i breathe out the air of dread inside of me,
and fill it up with kerosene,
oh hear me,
tis but tired me

light me up
til i cannot breathe.

fear creeps in
was it anxiety?

choking on the sobs
which never existed

I nervously laugh
at my foolish self

With nothing to gain,
and everything to lose

I'm such a disappointment.

why am I crying?
I'm the one at fault,
i hate it

If one
is to see
with smoke,

the farthest
they can go is
at the surface

If one
is to see
with mirrors,

the labyrinth
of the inside
can never be harnessed

I dreamt of playing beside an open sea
But, I am just a ruptured piano and misplaced keys
I have no tone, just a sad melody.

I cannot see the beauty in me,
for I've tainted myself with lies and impurity
Hid in a house made
with concrete irresponsibility,
and now they hold no trust in me.

I painted the exterior as if the one who did it wasn't me,
and had the inside done with walls I can't even reach.

gone is the real me,
I locked the door and threw away the key.

a toned color of red smeared on my body,
only wishing to tear each part of me to see what's wrong and how empty I came to be.

every day is a synopsis
of a never-ending restlessness
that never gets anything done.

Being envious is such a weird feeling.
This boiling rage coming from an empty being.

For I am not enough,
so I want more.

Fill the gap, as it consumes me all.

In a small cardboard box,
sparks the creativity of a child;

As they paint with colors,
they will soon learn
how to paint with words
and understand how the world
does it with blood.

They'll know that the world
isn't always sunshine n' rainbows,
there is rain too.

But, you are here
To shelter them for a while
and help them see the colors;

The colors of life.

In this world
we constantly move;
and you should improve to
avoid being left in the dark

That's why you can never stop
and ask yourself if you're even enough.

I like to please the likes of them,
though I am just a failure of a flower in a vast meadow
sticking out like a sore thumb;

I cannot do so,
to my displeasure.

if i
could be
everything i
wanted to
be,

surely I'd
be happy.

We dance in a stage,

where our lives,
identities, desires, and sin
eats us
.
.
.
.
like the plague.

Let me crush those eyes that failed to see the beauty in them,
and hold your hand that held;
that warmth I always craved
The bitterness never leaves my taste,
even with my heart that you served on my plate.

"So, What should I do with the body?"

"Dispose of it, and make sure that it is never to be seen again."


(Yeah--- this was supposed to be about being envious but well being envious makes you hungry;

Gluttony, I suppose that in some way people have them.

We all have this starvation for the things we don't have or maybe we already do;

Although, satisfaction is yet far from its peak.)

Oh, I can't put this down the notes since I always get 502 bad getaway;

Sunset skies to find
you who is blown away by the wind
and I who tries to flow along with them
as a fallen leaf of a maple tree