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Jul 29 · 37
Untitled
Avery Jul 29
It's funny how pain
Only strikes when you don't expect
And never is good enough when you do
Avery Jul 29
It's soothing
The beads of pure red
Purer than any colored pencil or marker could signify
It doesn't even hurt anymore
Avery Jul 4
The doctors all say
Our minds can't remember pain
Why then, do I still remember you
Jun 22 · 184
Just Another Crying Kid
Avery Jun 22
Deal with me all you can
In your makeshift helping home
But when you say I'm fine
Cause I didn't go that deep
Even after I break down sobbing
You aren't fit to be
Someone who's supposed to help
I'd never blame you more
If you weren't one of the many reasons
They still don't know
To my middle school counselor, who passed off my self harm and missed a chance to help someone on a path of recovery instead of letting it get worse
Jun 22 · 134
Him
Avery Jun 22
Him
I recognize the one telling me
That one guy in my old Algebra class 8th grade
He was stupid, but kinda cute
So why after all this time
Does he come back
But only in my mind
Jun 18 · 99
Don't Make Me Go Back
Avery Jun 18
Everything is crumbling
I don't know where to go
While you're still hiding in your shelter
My scars will start to show
Jun 18 · 251
Mom, I beg you
Avery Jun 18
Even with friends surrounding
A reliable future
If you don't accept me
I'll still die alone
Avery Jun 11
My room is littered with scars
The broken light switch from when I slammed it too hard
The half finished projects I lost the motivation to do
The notebooks I release some of my feelings with
And the scissors I use for the others
Jun 11 · 181
Bad For Worse Reasons
Avery Jun 11
The worst part about the heat
Is that everyone can see
My one release
My deadly tease
I guess the arms aren't a good choice anymore
Jun 11 · 38
Are you mad?
Avery Jun 11
It drives me mad
How some people have a porcelain face
Never cracks
Never breaks
You never know if they're laughing or crying at you
Jun 11 · 62
Loss
Avery Jun 11
Your eyes seem void of devotion
Emotion drained away like sieving a sunset
Light seeping through the holes in your mind
Until there's nothing left but sand
Jun 4 · 47
Breaking Apart
Avery Jun 4
If you let me go
Never let your touch linger on my lips
You mind stay inside me with wit
I wish I could cut you off
But we both know that's a fantasy
Jun 4 · 39
Voices
Avery Jun 4
The noise deafening my mind won't leave
No matter how hard
I try to destroy it
It never will die
Jun 4 · 104
Too Far Apart
Avery Jun 4
Knowing you dance among the heavens
Littered with lace pearlescent and pure
An idol
Can make even the worst days seem closer to paradise
Avery Jun 4
What does it say
When the taught are educated best
And stand up for rights with the simplicity of suffering
While others hide us behind a wall
Of falsities pretending to make a difference
What does it say
When lives are lost and people don't bat an eye, saying we're too
Emotional and naive
If being emotional means having emotion at all,
Yes, I guess, in a world of double-checking not to offend the constructs of a society we pretend to need
We live in a world
Where young minds are silenced with the illusion of superiority
Well we'll see what happens in 10 years or so
Jun 4 · 108
Rule 2
Avery Jun 4
Your problems don't matter- someone always has it worse than you
Jun 4 · 32
Rule 1
Avery Jun 4
If nobody hates you, you can't be proud
Apr 17 · 284
Untitled
Avery Apr 17
We gave each other the world
But I wasn't aware
The life that came for me
Was stolen away
Apr 15 · 356
Resisting Urges
Avery Apr 15
Tie me to a chair
Dragging with thorns of fire
Away from my one release
That manages still to bring me to my knees
Apr 15 · 114
Silly Child
Avery Apr 15
You trying to help me is like
Holding me up like a plant to a house lamp
Trying to help
Trying to heal
But naive to the point of stupidity
Dragging to the point of falling
Down
Down
Down
into
Dark
Because that light isn't a savior
It's the one at the end of the tunnel
Apr 13 · 303
Till Death Do Us Part
Avery Apr 13
How can heaven be a paradise
If you're not here with me
Concept for a story I'm writing
Mar 21 · 84
I'm Just Too Done
Avery Mar 21
Go ahead, throw at me
All you can get
But don't think I'll finish happy
I just haven't shown it yet
Avery Mar 21
Not a trace
Not a word
Not a sound
As absurd
Listen to the flowers grow
They'll remain long after you go
Avery Mar 21
Steel walls crumbling
Remnants reverberating among
Mounds of emotion, eroded in the pang of
Grief
A morphine line of adoration
Loving longer than life
And still
As we sit here and cry
Remembering not what we lost
But of a life behind
Mar 20 · 84
My skin is a cage
Avery Mar 20
Teach me how to be
Validated in my own body
As alien as those around me
Cause right now my "temple"
Seems to be from the wrong mythology
Avery Mar 20
Do I dare disturb the universe of
Right
Wrong
In
Out
Or can I stand on the border line
Choose all or none of the above
Despite the crowd's complaints
Don't you understand I'm my own referee?
Not society
Mar 20 · 102
Reminding
Avery Mar 20
Remind me why
We're stuck in this world
Of stressed quietness throughout
Constant motion
And when they try to mention
Age, their sickened view of innocent
Reality, but not really
And feign surprise when they send us to our
Deathbeds
Mar 13 · 301
An Open Letter to Me
Avery Mar 13
Dear body,
Why.
Why have you given me
My widening hips
Thighs growing like a mermaid's tail
A chest I love and hate
Dear body,
Why do you influence the opinions
He,
She,
Them,
Me
Because I'm tired
I want to be more than the censored
Parts in the movies
I want to wear eyeliner sharp as steel
Rocking my oversized hoodie
Dress one day
Binder the next
Maybe both
Dear body, you think you control my identity
Spoiler alert: I do
Mar 8 · 120
The Eyes Tell It All
Avery Mar 8
Try to get past my concrete walls
Guarded with flaming angels,
Filled with fake smiles
Try to get past the barbed wire voice
A voice of denial and inflections natural and unnatural all the same
But if you try to get past my porcelain mirrored centre
Shatter me relentlessly
Let me lay like a twisted broken painting
Alone, observed but never examined
Mar 8 · 281
Please Stop
Avery Mar 8
I loathe your loving
Your caring caresses as needles
Prancing with abandon
While their victim shudders in fear
Avery Mar 8
Try harder
Be stronger
Attempt to escape
Your mind, dissimilar
Halves, thirds, god I really don't
Tell me where to go
But on the other hand wait
Besides, society hasn't helped me much of late
Avery Feb 20
This isn't the end
There's more to come
Tragedy, calamity
Just learn to stay numb
Feb 17 · 102
In Aeternum
Avery Feb 17
Astrum, lux caeleste et clarus
Princeps aetheres et spes
Dux meus in aeternum

Rough translation:
Stars, light celestial and clear
Ruler of skies and hope
Guide me for eternity
Wanted to mix it up and try posting some of my non-english poetry
Feb 17 · 91
A Deeper Kind of Loss
Avery Feb 17
Soft brown eyes
Shattered like mirrors
Scattered with abandon
What happens when
There are hearts working in tandem
Sharing and loving and growing and
What happens when
One just dies
Without
A
Goodbye
Probably my final poem from my English class.
Feb 17 · 306
Dusty Reflection
Avery Feb 17
I've spent hours
Perusing your porcelain
It won't tell me lies
Right?
Wrong.
Staring, paring
My soul into
Shreds of dignity
Refreezing the melted
Puddles of my being
Into a shaky sculpture
Of perfect imperfection
Another English class poem. The assignment was odes, so I chose mirrors. The actual poem was longer but this part is my favorite.
Feb 17 · 125
Where I'm From
Avery Feb 17
Where I'm from, turbulence is arbitrary and the top layer is a dream
Violence and suicide hidden by pastel pinks and blues
A fragile frosted shell

Where I'm from, dark secrets come from a college in Santa Monica
Where someone drank too much
And no didn't work enough
My dad was in custody of the state 9 months later

Where I'm from, we pride ourselves in Edward Rutledge
Who picked up a pen in 1776
How does a single signature outweigh
A blurred auburn plantation in South Carolina
The sweet scent of fat, and the relatives I'm not allowed to meet
The men under another red, white, and blue flag

Where I'm from, pills are passed out like candy
Anxiety, depression, take your pick
My second cousin, she jumped off a bridge
We don't talk about her

Where I'm from, my cousins are bi-racial
I take pride in myself, and will never fall back
On racism, sexism, words that make my skin crawl
Where I'm from, I'll never stay silent again.
This is a poem I wrote for my English class a while ago. Our prompt was "where I'm from" and every stanza had to start with those words. I am pretty proud of my poem so I decided to post it.
Feb 7 · 155
Reflections
Avery Feb 7
I've heard skin described as porcelain or mirrors
Sometimes scratched, but smooth and unique
Well I guess I was left to be heated too long
I can already see my distortion breaking out
Feb 7 · 84
Reasons are Overrated
Avery Feb 7
Do you think I enjoy this
Say I lack age to employ this
You do know stress doesn't need a reason, right?
Jan 23 · 47
Flawed Perfection
Avery Jan 23
What do you take me for?
I want to know right now
Cause this "gilded perfect person" is
Full
Of
Lies
Jan 23 · 112
Personal Experience
Avery Jan 23
Complaining about their scores
Saying that I'm calm
You're lying
I'm just more experienced at hiding it
Jan 23 · 98
Jokes?
Avery Jan 23
Why are there these jokes
Tying twine into nooses
Resting dinner knives on wrists
While the people who do
Rub their pencils against their wrists until they're
Raw and bleeding
Suffer in silence and are erased as a joke
As someone who has self-harmed more times than I'd like to admit, I encourage all those in these troubles to seek some sort of help, however daunting the task may seem.
Jan 7 · 74
Panic
Avery Jan 7
In
Out
In
Out
Deafening and deaf
Quiet and Loud
Jan 7 · 307
Fading Slowly
Avery Jan 7
Let me fade away into the distance
Like temporary hair dye
Or a cloud after rain
Not into pages of books
Not into family secrets
Into memories covered in cobwebs
Not gilded in gold
Avery Jan 6
Gee thanks for your thoughts
Your sympathetic pats
Trying to help by saying nothing at all
"Oh you're just worried"
To hell with that.
Jan 1 · 328
Eyes
Avery Jan 1
Endless stars in your dark eyes
Like streetlamps lighting up city skies
Drowned in a pool that's filled with lies
A shattered mirror while all else dies
Dec 2018 · 105
What a Lie
Avery Dec 2018
Gee thanks for your thoughts
But do you really know
The battles I've fought
The numbers I've lost
All while saying 'I'm Fine'
Ha.
What a lie
Dec 2018 · 200
Silence
Avery Dec 2018
Silence is a lonely dream
Meant for others, but
Never
For
Me
Dec 2018 · 268
Where The Sun Never Shines
Avery Dec 2018
I want to live
Where the sun never shines
Where the stars litter the endless sky
Serene and never-changing
To live alone
Where my thoughts can never find me
Dec 2018 · 55
Chromesthesia
Avery Dec 2018
Its enjoyable sometimes
You're never alone
Feeling pride in being different
But after a while you lose trust
And start to wonder how many of those colors and sounds
Are really coming from yourself
A short bit on chromesthesia and some of the darker things it can entail
Dec 2018 · 112
Breathe
Avery Dec 2018
My perfect pastel way of life
Smudged by emptiness and strife
Tread on, rained on
Nonstop
Just let me
Breathe
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