Twinkle

Twinkle Aug 2014

Strange are your ways Oh world!
You ask me what do I stand to gain
When I help strangers on their way
Pause to give my time
Spend so much of it in selfless care

What do I stand to gain?

When I make your burdens mine
Think you'll need my help
And lend my shoulder to lean

What do I stand to gain?

When I work for you and your pain
I see beyond your need
To what my help can mean

What do I stand to gain?

When you stretch out your hand
And look my way
Knowing maybe somewhere
Someone will open their heart in true care

What do I stand to gain?

When I love so deep
Knowing time and again that it will hurt
You may care not a dime
And you may never return the time

What do I stand to gain?

I smile and reply
I stand to gain nothing
Cause if I did want anything in return
My hand I would not extend
A self serving attitude is not mine
Don't try to reason, cause you won't find
I choose to love freely and openly
It's for you to decide
You want to use me or love me
To each one his own
I have chosen this path
To be free from expectations
Hurt not and you will not be hurt
You decide what's for you to do.

On the other hand cannot stop what I do
For the only thought that governs me
Is Someone some where is aching just like me
When I need it so badly I know what I see
And then unconsciously I reach out
Thinking I am stretching into infinity
You see this life is a full circle
And one day it'll come back to me
So I am doing myself a favor, actually :-)

This is a strange write, because it was inspired by a casual insensitive remark by someone about why I help someone, when I have nothing to gain from it. I found it so stupid and strange....but then I realized..maybe I need to explain.

#love #life #help #free #care #hand #gain #freely #favour

Twinkle Aug 2014

Negativity!

I could tell you if I could muster the courage
How your words cut me deep
If a weapon more sharper than a tongue could be forged
Metals weapons could cease to exist!

For what cuts a human down
Is not the might of the steel
More fragile than your resolve
Is the balance of your will

When you decide to let the negatives lie by the wayside
A causal uncaring word seems to seep inside
Then like a venom its spreads out
To snap and **** your life and drain
Till your battling your mind
And scream you'll go insane

Your resolve has lost its test
Because the venom has killed the will.
Struck at the roots the evil knows its strength
Your heart is an unsuspecting victim
Your mind a playground vast and bare
Start from the heart where emotions stems
And spread to the mind and ****

The battles lost dear friend
At least momentarily
Dark clouds gather fog the space
A silver lining is hard to see

Chill out, wait out, hold on, stay low
No other weapon works against it
Perseverance is the only antidote
Let the storm abate, lower yourself
Hide yourself, gather yourself
NEVER did it last long
YOU (on the other hand) always will!

Tough times don't last. Negativity always needs a victim! But you are not to give up yet!

#strength #will #negative #resolve #focus #weapon #lastlong

Twinkle Aug 2014

I once had a heart!

I once had a heart
A loving heart
A trifle too gentle
A tad too soft

I once had a heart
A heart that shared
A heart that cared
A heart that listened
Silent cry that wud
have gone unnoticed
I had I not known otherwise

I once had a heart
Your joys and griefs
So part of me
Your pain I bore
My heart it tore

I once had a heart
A heart that beat
With a fiery fervor
Living your dreams
Was like elixir

I once had a heart
A heart that sang
With a childlike freedom
Unknown to burdened minds

I once had a heart
A heart u twisted
And cut into 2
But unfortunately,
It was not just u

The world stepped on it
Taken for a doormat
Simple dreams
Unpretentious self
No holds barred
I wore on my sleeve
For all to see

Burnt to a cinder
Ashes is all that's left
The pieces of my heart
Now lie at the bottom of an ocean
Or floating on foreign shores
Swept away by the morning tide

I ditched it for a new ride
A heart stepped on by all
So I ditched it to stop the pain
Stop the hurt all over again

I found myself a new companion
Superfluous is my new friend
Sorry come again
I won't be hurt by cruel words
Insults will never cause a dent
And no more will I bend

But darling don't u worry
I don't need your money
Cause when all that's gone
And u need a little loving
When the night is cold
I'll smile and say.
Sorry "love" is an old forgotten way

My new friend is Superfluous
And he didn't need my heart
So you see now I am heartless!
I have forgotten to Love.

Learning to cope with insults hurts and bruising words. I find solace in being superfluous. Learnt to stop the pain!

#love #heart #pain #friend #once #superfluous #ditched

Twinkle Jul 2014

To my Hello Poetry Family

Hiding emotions from prying eyes
Burying thoughts deep inside
True feelings never did flow
Afraid my weakness wud show

Fear of being shunned
Made me scurry behind
Pathetic excuses
Waste of womankind

Yearning to fly high
Soar high into deep blue skies
Longing for the inner bird
To find it's soulful song

Then I found u
Hello poetry family
I know I am home
with my very own

Accepting, non judgemental
Where your feelings be
Sweet words, encouraging
Sharing pain, tears and grieving
Lifting your spirits high
Different! yet so much at harmony

Here I feel at home
Among my very own
Feel u'll understand
Jumbled words
Tumbled mess
Comedy of errors
Don't distort the meanings
behind the pain
At the end of the day
I'll have someone to listen
Sharing beautiful thoughts
Leaving encouraging words
like treasures in my trove

Some one who'll listen
Some one who'll pray
Some one who'll pass my way
Some one whose heart I ve touched
Some one whose life I've lived
Some one whose pain I have made mine
Some one who'll bear mine as well.

Emotional creatures that we are
Connected by one goal
Bound by one language
the language of poetry
Is where we all shall be!
Hello Poetry

This for all you wonderful people on Hello Poetry. Thank you. I feel so much accepted here.

#poetry #family #loved #hellopoetry #everyone #accepted #vrone

Twinkle Jul 2014

Forge ahead!

It's over!
Its behind me
I've let it go
The pain that held me ransom in its throes

No longer hurting,
No longer killer
My life is much more complete and fuller

I've learnt my lessons, my time beckons
A chance to live now freely
A time to discover

Motivate yourself to move beyond your pain, to let go and forge ahead. Shun the pain, carry your lessons like treasure. Move on!

#pain #poems #free #live #discover #moveon #freely #forge

Twinkle Jul 2014

Will you love me if I said

Will you love me if I said
I have AHDH
(attention deficit hyperactivity disorder)
That I will jump before you speak
Will be impatient to get my way
I can love u and hate you at the same time
I will nod, but not understand.
Will you love me truly, even then?
Cause your love will make all the difference.

Will you love me if I said
I have BPD
(Borderline Personality Disorder)
That I will be so drawn to you
That I'll throw myself at you
That more often than ever
I will question you if you me love too
Then I'll doubt you if you do
I'll accuse you of using me
Then I'll offer myself to be used
I will shunt between 2 shades
There is no grey for me
Will you love me truly, even then?
Cause your love will make all the difference.

Will you love me if I said
I have Bipolar (Disorder)
That my mood swings like a pendulum
That I will drive you mad
Or make you sad
Or I'll laugh till I drop
That you will never understand
Who I am today
Dealing with my situation
Will depress you.
I can literally **** your life out too.
Will you love me truly, even then?
Cause your love will make all the difference.

Will you love me if I said
I have NPD
(Narcissistic Personality Disorder)
That I will always think of me
That my dreams and aspirations will be so big
I wont have time for empathy
That I left my childhood behind
So don't bug me with sensitivity
I am afraid of your committment
Cause no one can hold me still
Will you love me truly, even then?
Cause your love will make all the difference.

Will you love me if I said
I am terminally ill
That my pain is unbearable
My hope has dimmed out too
And I can see no end to my misery
But even though my life's a thread
I really want to have a full life again
I want to be able to trade my pain
If someone would only be game.
But I know it is not possible
Hence I ask for what is
Will you love me truly, even then?
Cause your love will make all the difference.

You see this world's bursting with people who ache!
You and I have the difference to make.

It is so easy to empathize
With someone who pain is visible in daylight
But spare a thought for those who ache inwardly
Trapped in a battle with their minds eccentricity!

If your courage be so strong
That pain not withstanding you choose to bond
Live that life that gives glory
Share that love, that speaks a story

Love ceaselessly, love like it truly is!
Love above humans no one can
Cause loving like HIM,
Needs a supreme hand!

It's so easy to feel love and empathy for those in physical pain and terminally ill people . But the pain of those broken at heart , broken in their minds goes unnoticed.

#love #depression #pain #courage #personality #visible #eccentric

Twinkle Jul 2014

Gifted Faker!

"I am not a gifted faker like you"
I remember those words each time I see you

You said it so casually and forgot.
But never did it ever leave my heart!

To you it seemed like I could be 2 different persons
Inwardly I know how much courage it took me so.

Can I wear my heart on the sleeve for the world to see?
Is this what you want me to be, bare all for you?

Life is not been the same, since those days, I swear
I will not return to those memories of hurt again.

I fake it because, I need to make it through another day
You are here today, and somewhere else you'll be tomorrow

But I need to go on living and cannot stop for you.
You cannot take that away from me, my desire!

My dreams, my hopes, my ambitious are all I have
Paper boats and pipe dreams you may call it
But it is still my very own, my identity and a part of me

You on the other hand, outsider, stood by and smiled on
Never took the courage to dig deeper.
Shallow it may be for you
Afraid the road was steeper
A mess you never wanted to deal with
A part you never wanted to play.

Hence, I moved on, put a bright face and cheered on
Stronger you made me by your test
Till I could stand apart
from my feelings and look at it like the rest
I am fool to take you so seriously
You were having fun at my expense
Hence now, I can fake it and make believe
I can see it affects you now,
Why is it not the old me?

#cheer #dreams #lover #strong #movingon #faking #faker