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I know it shouldn't matter at this date
Because relations are made on the net
But have you realized
Truly
Really
Realized how amazing having someone you care about around you feels?
When you are separated from your loved one for a long while,
the first thing you do when you see them is
Hug them
Not kiss them
Not say "hi"
Not text it to your friend
Not post it on Facebook
You just hug the hell out of that person
Because humans need contact
We need what we deprive ourselves of knowingly
We hang by ourselves and think it's fine
It's not.
It's never okay.
Hug people
Tell them how you feel, de vive voix
Why linger around when anything could happen?
Tell them
Tell them all
And love them right
I did not cherish
Our conversations enough
Words tumbled out of you like a fountain
They rippled
They gurgled
They splashed
Out of you
I thought you were a fountain
Tall and loud
Confident in your fall
Everlasting
But who was I to know you were a pond
Insides clogging with Algae
But who was I to know she was a sun
She dried you out
From under you were dying
She didn't see
Or perhaps she didn't care
And I wish I had sipped every drop you gave me when I had the chance
Because now
I am
Just
So
Thirsty
I cannot drink water when I have tasted yours
I am addicted to your taste
Drinking you is like poetry
Sweet and aggressive
Soft and strong
Addictive
Like the conversations we had.
We
We
When will I get to say
We
Us
Our
Instead of
I
Me
Mine

Being alone is no longer nice.
Being alone makes me feel lonely.
I never used to feel lonely.
And now that I do,
I just want to be able to say

"We"
We are invisible
We walk the streets in silence
And you pass us by everyday
But you don't see us

We are invisible
We are a part of your life
We take our

Breaths

The same way you do
We are the homeless
The invisible people
The ones you try to ignore so hard
Whenever you walk by
If this is what lonely looks like
I want to shed my skin
And try on a new soul
How come no one notices I am so empty?
They say
You need to get laid
I say
I need to get loved
With his eyes and his words before he can lay a finger on me
With his wit and gentleness before he can touch my body
They say
You need to flirt
I say
I need to be wooed
With flowers and coffee before he can call me baby
With his hand holding my heart before he can say he loves me
I want to care for someone
I want someone to come to me with a headache
I want to cure it
I want to care for you
Listen and care and smother you in affection
I wish
I was someone's first choice
I have so much love to give
And no one to give it to
What you feel doesn't matter
What you ache,
What you cry,
Is meaningless
Your tears are empty and so is your soul
What is worth a dime is what other people think you feel
What they want you to feel
They ask if you are feeling all right
But they do not want to hear you say
"No."
They want to see a smile on your face
They want to hear you say
"Yes."
So you give it to them
You give them a smile and a nod
They realize… maybe they don't
They move on and the light in your eyes fades
To darkness
A black hole ******* your humanity out
Spitting the useless out.
The dead.

But the dead is alive and so are your feelings

If only they mattered.
I need to talk and no one would hear me out
They say
It's all downhill from the first kiss
But if we snowball
From the top of the mountain
To the end of the Earth I want you to know:
What they say
Is worthless.
Kissing you never was downhill.
I have never been higher than when your lips used to touch mine.
Never have I been so high
On another person
I gave you the stars in my eyes
The light in my heart.

You gave me **nothing.
Where are you?
You were in the palm of my hands
You were in the shadows of my smile
You were in the air I breathe
You were tucked in the folds of my heart
But where are you now?
You were safe in my hands
A shell chosen amongst so many
In the ocean bed I lifted you
Saved you from the angry sea
But you were just a shell and I should've known
Biology 101
Shells are empty
So were you
You were never there
Biology 101
Shells are temporary home
You just passed me by
Like a Bed and Breakfast
Fast and easy,
Cheap and convenient

How sad to think I never stood a chance
Against the home made of old stones and scented candles
Dry cement and family pictures
I
was
NEVER
Part of your family
The universe whispers crazy secrets onto my skin
My eyes drink it all
And I raise my head towards the galaxies
For once,
Watching over me.
You are the wind and the sea
You are the sun and the stars
You are everything
When I look around all I see is
Everything reminds me of you I am
Lost in translation
No words can describe
You
Are not a three letter word
Or a sound in someone's mouth
You
Are not a simple pronoun used to be refered to
You
Are the galaxy in my universe
The ray of sunshine on a rainy day
You
Are not an exact definition of the word
You
Are so much more than
You
Do not know what it is like to be
Me
A simple two letter word which is never
A sound in someone's mouth I
Am not recognizable or worthy of attention
I
Am slowly disappearing into oblivion
I
Am a one letter word never used in any way
I
Am neither one or the other
I
Used to believe I would be a part of
Them
But I do not exist in their eyes
I
Am only a one letter word and
They
Are so much more than I could ever hope to be
You
Can grow one letter bigger but
I
Am to far away from
You
So I cease my useless efforts because
I
Am only a one letter word
Which is never relevant as it is never used
My mouth never opens to make me appear
Behind the mask of silence I hide my name
I
Am not only a one letter word but
I feel like an unsignificant piece of life
I
Do not want to disappear but
Who am I?
A one letter word in a silent mouth attached to an invisible soul.
The moment you let go is painful
It's whispering to the wind
"Take those memories with you
Travel far and let them fly away".
The beauty in all this pain is that,
After some time,
You smile.
My heart disappears in the breeze, too light to stand still in my ribcage. I let it soar.
The rain peeks at us and retracts.
You broke my wings
You dragged me down
With every word you let me down
Nearly touching the ground
I knew what I had to do
Escape from you
Yet I kept listening to your lies
Staring death right in the eye
You dropped me down a cliff
Down in the water
I couldn't breathe

Still under deep water
I try to find my way out of the dark


On the edge of the cliff I imagine
You watched me fall with a smirk
I can still see the smile on your face
It was my turn to fly
But you cut out my wings and threw me down
Give me back my freedom
I've been drowning for too long,
Release me now
I would do anything to swim back out
A year ago I found my way back out. Tonight I found this poem and realized how far I have come. You didn't destroy me.
You once asked me
Would you die for me?
At the time
Yes
Yes I would have done anything
For you
I would have walked into a hurricane
For you
I would have walked a thousand miles into the rain
To reach you
I would have crossed the ocean
For you
I would have died
For you

If you asked me now
Would you die for me?
This time
No
No, I wouldn't do a **** thing
I would let you drown
I would not take my eyes off you
I would smile as you suffocate
And I would be happy
**I wouldn't die for you.
You
You
You are the wind and the sea
You are the sun and the stars
You are everything
When I look around all I see is
Everything reminds me of you I am
Lost in translation
No words can describe
You
Are not a three letter word
Or a sound is someone's mouth
You
Are not a simple pronoun used to be refered to
You
Are the galaxy in my universe
The ray of sunshine on a rainy day
You
Are not an exact definition of the word
You
Are so much more than
You
Do not know what it is like to be
Me
A simple two letter word which is never
A sound in someone's mouth I
Am not recognizable or worthy of attention
I
Am slowly dissappearing into oblivion
I
Am a one letter word never used in any way
I
Am neither one or the other
I
Used to believe I would be a part of
Them
But I do not exist in their eyes
I
Am only a one letter word and
They
Are so much more than I could ever hope to be
You
Can grow one letter bigger but
I
Am to far away from
You
So I cease my useless efforts because
I
Am only a one letter word
Which is never relevant as it is never used
My mouth never opens to make me appear
Behind the mask of silence I hide my name
I
Am not a one letter word but
I feel like an unsignificant piece of life
I
Do not want to disappear but
Who am I?
A one letter word in a silent mouth attached to an invisible soul.
You don't get to call me out on my actions
You don't know me at all
You don't know I lost my soul to the devil spying on me
Watching from the ceiling my life pass by
In the bed where I lay
Still
Silent
A statue as strong as the universe
As heavy as the weight of the world
When the sun comes up and down
Bashing me in sunlight only to dim the light
Until nothing is left but darkness
And in those moments of quiet restlessness
I stay silent and let my mind drift to places
Where hidden monsters peek from underneath my healthy mind
Filling my head with thoughts as dark as the night
And I see it
The light at the end of the tunnel
The escape I can't run to
Without sharing my last breath with the empty space next to me
Where you were supposed to appear
To take all my worries away
And lift me in the sky
With the force of your bare heart
Lifting my spirit up in space  where I look up to see you
But you are nowhere to be found
And I am nowhere to be
And the stars won't answer me
They blink and watch upon my story
With a frown upon their faces
Wondering when I will be strong enough
To join them.
And that is why you don't know a thing about me
You don't know my ribcage is empty
You don't know my world is my poetry
You don't know and it doesn't matter
You are nothing to me as I am a shell without a heart
Disappeared years ago in the night
Where I would hold your hand and pray for you
A rescue, a bandaid to my pain
But I bled and ruined you
And now you're gone.
You don't get to call me out on my actions
You don't know me at all
You don't know I lost my soul to the devil spying on me
Watching from the ceiling my life pass by
In the bed where I lay
Still
Silent
A statue as strong as the universe
As heavy as the weight of the world
When the sun comes up and down
Bashing me in sunlight only to dim the light
Until nothing is left but darkness
And in those moments of quiet restlessness
I stay silent and let my mind drift to places
Where hidden monsters peek from underneath my healthy mind
Filling my head with thoughts as dark as the night
And I see it
The light at the end of the tunnel
The escape I can't run to
Without sharing my last breath with the empty space next to me
Where you were supposed to appear
To take all my worries away
And lift me in the sky
With the force of your bare heart
Lifting my spirit up in space  where I look up to see you
But you are nowhere to be found
And I am nowhere to be
And the stars won't answer me
They blink and watch upon my story
With a frown upon their faces
Wondering when I will be strong enough
To join them.
And that is why you don't know a thing about me
You don't know my ribcage is empty
You don't know my world is my poetry
You don't know and it doesn't matter
You are nothing to me as I am a shell without a heart
Disappeared years ago in the night
Where I would hold your hand and pray for you
A rescue, a bandaid to my pain
But I bled and ruined you
And now you're gone.
You had me at hello
You had me
You crushed me
You had me and kept me
For weeks on the palm of your hand
Until you were tired
Until she came along
And you forgot I was alive
Forgot I was there
Forgot everything about me
In an attempt to hug her
You spread my blood on her shoulder
From hugging her too tight
And crushing me into the enemy
I know I had you too, so what happened?
You hate me
For I do not share
The color of your skin or
The same God or
The same attraction to male gender I
Feel the hatred
And the pain in my chest slices like knives you
Hate me with all your heart but you don't have anything left
To love the good parts in people you
Hate me with all your heart but what you don't realize is
You're chipping away pieces of yourself
In this crazy drive to hate those who are different you
Destroy all the good around you and
You don't seem to care at all
When you complain about us you
Show us the reason why the world is going to **** and
You don't CARE at all but
We do.
We care.
We say stop.
This hate has to stop because we can do better.
We can be better human beings you
Can be better if you would just try
To see past the curtain of anger blinding your vision you would see
We all share the same features
We all share the same air and no matter how much you hate it we
Breathe together at once
We share everything in this world and instead of fighting it
If you would just drop your weapons
Made of insults, fists against our skin, crushing our open arms into boneless flesh
You would see
The other side is made of acceptance and gentle words
Made to soothe the aches of your kind
Made to dissolve the hate into love
You would see
We are just waiting for you
To cross onto our side
And each step you take is mending the broken bones
Of our broken arms
And addressing the wounds
We could offer so much
If we did not have to fight against our right to be alive and ourselves
IF
Only we could all stop fighting against what we can't change
We could focus on the changes we can make
A society that needs healing
We could teach our kids to welcome anyone with open arms
Without fear of being crushed
Damaged
Demolished
Fragmented
Injured
Mutilated
Shattered­
Smashed
Split
In pieces
We could heal if one day you would just learn to
Love me for me.
You have left me 5 days
And I cried for 3
You have left me 5 days
And I downed 2 bottles
You have left me 5 days
And I choked for 4
You have left 5 days
And you have no idea
What your heart did to me
You have left 5 days
And it has felt like an eternity
You have left me 5 days
And you stained all the happy
By making me cry tears of heartbreak
I met you 4 weeks ago
And fell the 1st second

*(Sometimes I enjoy the fantasy
That, maybe
You too, fell for me)
And then she took you away from me
We are the young generation
The change of the world
The better part of Humans
The ones with new ideas and a vision of the future,
Or so you say. You say we are better than you, you say we won't make the same mistakes
But you treat us like children who don't have a clue
You do not teach us to throw litter in the bins
You do not teach us to respect our elders
To respect the younger ones
To respect our friends
Our family
Anyone
We steal, we ****, we litter, we smoke, we pollute, we insult, we waste, we tag the walls, we break the windows, we cheat on our lovers, we bully the weak and the poor
And no one
No one
Says anything
And we don't care
It is not normal
We are supposed to be better than you, we are supposed to outsmart you
But you don't teach us better
You let us make the mistakes again and again and again without telling us how to solve the issues
I have heard dreadful things from young adults my age
"If you don't like the smoke, you can leave or I'll blow it in your face"
"Everyone throws their cigarettes **** on the floor, so I can, too"
"Someone will clean my **** for men they're paid for it"
"They're losers"
"My parents are *****"
"They only give my 600 euros per month to enjoy myself in Paris, it's *******"
"I'm not tipping, those Pakis get enough money as it is" when they earn 10 to 20 Dhs per day
"They don't have a family but at least they don't get yelled at"
"You don't drink? What a loser."
"Come on, come upstairs with me, you'll like it", when I've said no ten times already
"If you don't want to be picked up, don't walk so suggestively"
"Leave your **** here, they will clean it up for you"
DO NOT TELL ME WHAT TO DO!
I respect people, their jobs, what they do, what they do it for, who they do it for
We are not the ******* kings of the planet.
Just because some people leave their **** does not mean you get to do the same
Just because some people go in the desert or at the beach and leave all their plastic bottles and wraps on the sand does not mean you get to do the same
Just because millions of people throw their cigarettes **** on the floor does not mean you get to do the same
Just because someone decided it was cool to stick your gum under the table or to spit it on the floor does not mean you get to do the same
What the **** is wrong with you people, thinking you own the place?
You're just visitors and your children will get to live in a ****** up world because of you
Not thanks to you!
Move it, do something, and don't give me that fatality **** "we all have to die one day"
Stupid excuse!
You grew up playing in the sand, the green grass, the white snow.
What do you want for your kids?
You want them to play in the sand covered in cig butts and empty broken beer bottles?
You want them to play in the brown, disgusting mud because grass can't grow anymore?
You want them to wonder what snow looks like, and if they will ever get to see it?
You want them to wonder how people used to die of old age instead of cancer?
Did you know every single on of our generation will die of cancer? All of us.
No exceptions.
Why?
Because of us.
We are the cause of our own deaths.
We already killed ourselves and we continue to go on the wrong direction
We have decided of our fates
And we think we get to choose our children's fate.
I say we don't.
We ******* ourselves into thinking nothing can be done now.
Wrong.
We can.
We just choose not to.
You choose not to.
You chose to be part of the bad part of the population, the one who decided to settle for less than what we deserve.
I refuse to stoop so low.
I chose to be part of the better part of population.
The one who thinks of a future that can still be improved, even if we won't be there to see it.
Be the change you want to see in the world, and don't settle for anything less than perfection.
You closed the door
Turned around and walked away
Oh, how I wish I could make you stay
It’s been a while now
You keep telling me there is no difference
But I remember the way it was before
Once so warm your touch is like ice
I shiver whenever you breathe on my skin
The feeling is gone
Your hands are cold
And freeze mine when you hold them in yours
My grip is too tight
I don’t want to ever let you go
But the frost crawls up my heart like a vicious snake
And now I can’t feel anything anymore
I’m numb and blue
My skin turns to stone
And the memory of the past freezes my thoughts
Until nothing is left but the pain of the present.
Your words stain my skin with bruises
Your emotions are painted on your face but
They are forced on my body with
Your fists
Your words
Your eyes
The blood in your breath
The hate in your steps
The destruction you are inflicting on my body
You are one person bruising, destroying another with everything you are
I could have been loved with the same fists, words, eyes, but
I have been bloodied instead, all the way from the
Middle
Of
My
Chest
From my heart to
The
Surface
Of
My
Body
From my blue skin
I hurt everywhere I go
Everytime I move
Your words are stained on me in the worst ways
I can hear them as I bend and twist
I can feel them when I look down on myself
I remember every moment
I remember every hit, every hit, every hit you took on me.
I remember it all and it won't go away
Your words stain my skin with colors and I don't know how to
Stop
Loving
You
Making excuses as you destroy me.
One.
Bruise.
At.
A.
Time.
You tell me it's okay
I should enjoy that
When you bash my head in with a baseball bat
And my skull splits open
With ideas of what a relationship should be
And you step all over my ideals
They turn into blood
And seep through the floor and into the ground
Forever feeding the seeds of violence.
You told me you were glad
I had taken a chance on you
You told you would love
To have me at your house
You told me to feel free
To stay as long as I wanted
You told me I could be your friend
Only if you could be mine
You told me you would be there
Whenever I needed someone to talk to
***** data roaming
You told me to shout really loudly
If I could not reach you another way
You told me I wasn't a fool but if I was
I was your kind of fool
You told me you couldn't believe I couldn't dance
Because we were the best dancing partners
You told me that if you brought the best in me
Then the best was pretty ****** amazing
You told me it was hard being us
Always so awesome
You told me you liked having me there
In the same bed as you
You told me the both of us
Made a pretty good team
You told me you did not intend on stopping
Talking to me, laughing with me
You told me you would teach me anything
How to cuddle and whatever I wanted
You told me you would take me to the beach
Because I had not yet been
You told me you would take me to do something fun
Whenever I would get some free time
You told me we made a great team…
… Unless we were playing Monopoly
You told me you would come and try the cheese nan
If I came and tried your fondue
You told me you liked staying up
Just so you could talk to me
You told me you were glad you took the ferry
To meet me a universe away
You told me we would make a perfect team
I could be the olive skinned French beauty, and you the eternal white Englishman
You told me I was too lovely
You told me you would come and get me
Even if you had to walk to get to me
You told me you wanted to go to Venice
And asked me if I wanted to join you.

You told me so many beautiful things and for that I am so grateful
You made me smile so many times
You made me happy every day
For a while
Then you forgot I was alive but I still have the memories of us
In my mind, next to the could have been drawer
Where all the things we could have done, could have been,
Lay still in silence.
You told me so many beautiful things and I
Believed them all.
You made me believe I could fall again.
You broke my heart but you made me believe,
And for the next one who will come along
I will open my heart wide open
Because you made me believe I could,
Maybe,
Love again.
But really, all I want is for you to make me fall again. Catch me this time. Hold my hand and kiss my jaw and never hurt me agai
It could have been anybody
But you chose me
Did I have a good profile?
Was I your target from the beginning?
Did you plan it all?
Or was I a brand new invention
A new toy you could play with
Until boredom kicks and you throw me away?
You could have been honest
Admit you're just another man but
Hell,
You wanted to be a gangster
You're not a bad guy, you're not even dangerous,
But boy you drove me insane
I would have given anything for you
I would have given anything to you
You knew how badly I wanted you but
Hell,
You always wanted more
So what you have now
Is dust in the wind
Floating away and you're all alone
I cannot wait to see you fall.
I want a love that changes the world
The way I view it
I want a love so deep the deepest ocean would seem shallow in comparison
I want an all-burning love that makes me pity the stars for looking at the moon when the true star is the sun.
I want a love like the sun.

You were my sun, and you eclipsed my world.

*Now I live in darkness.
But when the clouds clear and I get a good look at the stars... ****.

— The End —