A brief, but passionate inhale.
Who would have thought,
of the autumn in her eyes?

A sweet, delicate voice.
A beautiful sound to detect.
And never forget.
And never regret*.

The stud of a nose
Her own clothes and eloquent verbose
An unheard of strength
That she shrugs off like dirt.

And she knows of Dad.
Because she has been there too.
Not just for the smell of *****,
Or for the pain of just one bruise,
But for the depth behind
A clenched fist
and the struggle for eye contact.

It was 6 AM.
In the autumn.
And things just happen.
But see,
it wasn't just a thing.
It couldn't be.
The way I held your hair
And hid it safely behind your ear.
And accepted the kiss
That my fear could not initiate myself.

It was the blue,
And the blonde.
The black of the beanie,
And the spots of the sweater.
It was the look
and the smile
and the inhale.

And then
it was the stars.
And the stone wall.
And the Boston skyline.
It was the teasing.
and the alcohol
and the spot by the river.
And it was autumn in her eyes.

It was heaven in the trembling of my knees,
and in that kick in the shin,
and in the brownie brittle,
and in the passionate kiss in the room upstairs.
It was hell in the uncertainty.

And as the time will pass,
We will attract or repel.
Naturally.
And where this ambiguity chills me to the bone,
I find autumn in her eyes.

I look at you and I see half-finished poems and words that don’t exist, your eyes are like indigo oceans I keep drowning in but somehow I don’t mind not being able to breathe.  I wish I knew more about why you are the way you are, what terrifies you the most about yourself, and why I find it difficult to catch my breath when you look at me as if I am a stolen daydream. You make up for a lot of things, really, like going through fourth period half asleep because last night it took me three hours to stop thinking about you. You make up for that, and everything else. You are made of electricity and good intentions stitched together with a voice that could shatter a million hearts, and I am just a lost soul wondering why I trust you with mine. And I do, I do, I trust you with my stupid old heart, and I want to memorize every single corner of yours like the back of my hand. I want to know how a heart like yours could love such a wounded one like mine, but maybe that’s what love is, sacrificing perfection for something tragically real. I look at you and I see fluctuating potential, like the morning sun peeking out behind tired gray clouds, and how sometimes that has to be enough. Ever since I met you, my heart has remembered how to beat, my hands have remembered how to hold, and you love me enough to make me forget how much I don’t love myself. Maybe you are temporary and maybe you’re an illusion, but I still cling to the hope that maybe, this is why I held on until now.

Sitting in your car
    Parked outside my house
You had to leave soon
        But, it was so peaceful out
You kissed me so sweetly
           deeply
Then you asked me
     I saw it coming, honestly
Yet, I was still shocked
           And more than a little terrified...
     Mine?  Yours?
Belonging to one another?
        I wasn't sure how this made me feel
     So many doubts and questions,
Running through my mind
             I don't like admitting it
But you're really a rare find
               Honest, sweet and kind
   I'm not sure I feel as strongly as you do
         Cause we both know the past I've been through
     I think I'm gonna try
            For you
But you seriously gotta make an effort too
       I don't wanna do this alone
   I know you're busy
Just pick up the phone
         Make some time for me
You want me to be your girl?
         Then you gotta be my guy
But this whole thing terrifies me
      I'm not gonna lie
I'll NEVER cheat
           I'll stay faithful and true
    But seriously,
That's what you gotta do too...
        So, what's my answer to you?
     First, I have stipulations
I'm not a girl all about big DECLARATIONS
          I'm the poet, I'll do that
     But I gotta know you're with me
          That you got my back...
    I'm not afraid to admit
                 I need attention
       If you can handle that
           And my crazy A$$
   Then I'll be **all yours

Summer turns to fall
The wind gets colder
The trees grow older
Life itself seems calm
Like a break between extremes
One of heat
One of cold

With the heat, life is active
Joyous
Adventurous
The days seem longer
And nights shorter
While the heat is appealing
It has itself a killing
Too much fun could lead one to pain

Then there's Peace
Comfort
Cold
Now the desires have changed
The cold makes you stand still
What once was done for thrill
It seems there is no skill
But still,
You dream of that hot wind on your face
The sun sweetly crisping your skin
What was once done, is done
A new season of life has come.

I stand for a people who's voices have gone silent; not by the waves of hate from others, but the waves of hate pouring from their own mouths. From their hypocrisy to those whom they are sent to love. You probably know who I am talking about by now. So for them I say sorry.

I say sorry to the same-*** couple who are denied the right to marry in many states and many places of the world. I am sorry for the constant currents of hate we have place toward you. Our God teaches to love all, but it seems we have forgotten about you.

I am sorry to the orphans of the world. We try our best to help, we really do. But here in America, we feel there are more important things to worry about. We have the money to support you, but we are stringy here in America. We stand wholeheartedly that 5 cents a day is enough to feed a in another country, but a 5 dollar big mac sounds good for lunch. I find myself wondering, why was this money given to me? Are we not told to give to the poor? Support the fatherless and the widow? I know these are given to us as commandments, but I'm going to use the bible for my own benefit. So I am sorry for our selfishness, please, don't be offended.

I am sorry to people of other faiths. We are to love you just as much as anyone else. But since you believe in another god or the absence of one entirely, we feel you are void of this command. So forgive us if we stereotype you, at least God still loves you.

To the teen mom; I apologize that so many of you live on the streets. But your failure to abstain leaves us with no other choice. Obviously the best we can do is disown you as our daughters and cease to love our little princesses. Plus you have made us embarrassments as parents, and we are always first before you.

Lastly, I am sorry for us hating anyone  that has messed up in life. It seems we have forgotten what it's like to be human and knowing we all make mistakes. It seems we have taken what was known to be holy and morphed it into our own little cult. Something we use to make ourselves look and feel better. We forget to be human sometimes, but I ask you to be tolerant of us. Because God loves you even if we don't.

Humbly, I'm sorry to you God. I pray you have mercy on your church whom have made  a mockery of you, your son's sacrifice, and your plans for us. I know I believe you love us, and because you love us we should love others, but I fail all the time. Forgive me of that LORD. You love all, so we should learn to have eyes for the broken, and hearts for unloved.
Yours truly,
A convicted follower.