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Timothy Stout Sep 2015
Do you remember the times when we though we would not make it?
I do.
They are more vivid to me then that which was last night.
It haunts my very soul- the idea of life without you.
But every time that wretched thought of walking away surfaced, we managed to push it under.

Do you remember the times when it seemed that nothing would pull us down?
I do.
I cherish these moments like I cherish life itself.
The moments of glee,
The moments of gay thought,
The moments of love.

I hold on to them to get through the moments of Hell.
The moments of depression and fatigue.

They get me though the dark.

Do you remember that night?
Oh, that night where we gave each other the promise of ourselves.
The promise to never give up,
To walk through the roses and the thorns together,
To hold each other dear, no matter how far away.
Do you remember?
I do.
And I never plan on letting it fade.
Here's to life and promises
Timothy Stout Jun 2015
Why is there life?
Why is there death?
Why is there love?
Why is there hate?
Why is there pleasure?
Why is there pain?
Why is there joy?
Why are there tears?
Questions that yearn to be answered
sometimes has no other answer
other than *To be.
Timothy Stout Apr 2015
Eight months ago
It came tumbling out
"Do you want to by my girl?"
The sweat of fear rolled down my back
It was silent for a moment,
But then you whispered, "yeah"
My heart jumped
It jumped as if its life depended on it
I had no idea what to say
I seem to not when I'm around you.

I remember when
I like you
Turned to
I love you
I remember thinking to myself
"Is it too early?
Will she think I'm too attached?"
I remember when I gave you that envelope, filled with the love that I had poetically composed for you.
And all you said was
"you're sweet"
I was discouraged.
I didn't say it again.

I remember the night you called me;
I had just left you so it was a surprise
You said you forgot to tell me something, that you were avoiding it
"I love you"
All I could do was reply mutually.

I remember when you told me of your depression
I truly knew not what to say
What was there to say?
I quickly learned that sometimes silence
Is better than
ignorant speech
And that holding you was the best form of therapy, because to know that you're special is all that you needed.

I remember much of these past months
You are always in my mind
You are never too much
And I have not regreted it once
I love you
And I don't plan on that changing.
And I look forward to many more months
  Mar 2015 Timothy Stout
Rachel Morris
We have become a song
With soft melodies and peculiar harmonies
We crescendo into a greater understanding of one another
As we march on into the great adventure
But some days we choose to dance to the adagio drawing us in
As we decrescendo into quite noise
Surrendering to the silence that surrounds us
No matter the melody
The music
Minor falls and major lifts
I will choose to sing along with you
(Still a work in progress)
  Mar 2015 Timothy Stout
When they asked me if I loved you
I could feel a hole forming in my chest
My heart was digging to the bottom of my ribcage
So they it wouldn't spill all of its secrets
I imagine the word "yes" flowing from my body
Like water pouring from my lips
When they asked me if I loved you
My jaw crumbled like wet sand
My tongue and breath did not remember
How to work together in order to form words
I did not know how to lie to them
It's like I can feel my teeth begin to decay
When you acidic name slips through them
When they asked me if I loved you
I hope they would try to tuck the question back into their pocket
Maybe if I stayed quiet long enough they would
The uncomfortable silence was beginning to be noticeable
I never meant for this to sound so much like shot gun
When they asked me if I loved you
I could feel the pressure against the walls
The flood was far to overbearing
I will love you until I don't anymore
When they asked me if I loved you
I told them that I didn't
Simply because I find it useless to soak
A bath of room temperature love
When you mix hot with cold
The climate is never pleasing
I have learned
That when someone asks me if I love you
To always say no
Just to resist the risk of the words traveling to your ears
I cannot bear for you to know that I still love you
Even though you have left
You have filled something in me that is still full
Even though you are not here anymore
When they asked me if I loved you
I responded calmly
Acted as if it was a punchline I saw coming
Acted as if it wasn’t breaking my spirit in two
Acted as if I was fine with answering
Timothy Stout Mar 2015
When you have nothing to say
Just let me look into your eyes
And you into mine
Those flickers of light
Those generous stares
Are enough for me to know
That you love me
*And I love you
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