I would've died for you
but don't think about it too much

don't imagine a knife in my hands
slicing away all of the parts of myself
that you decided weren't good enough for you
the parts you forgot to love

don't think about my blood
running onto your floor as you stand there
watching it and wondering
how you're going to clean it up
I'm dying on the inside
because you've stolen from me
the kind of love that is never supposed to leave

I didn't love you the way novels are written
we didn't hold hands and watch the stars
we watched the sunrise in smiles
we made memories at midnight
I never loved you with kisses or cuddling
but I loved you

so much so that I didn't need to breath
if the air in your lungs was slipping away
I would have cut myself open
and offered you my own
and I was hoping you would do the same
but I know better now

do not strain yourself on matters of my death
if i died from exposure you'd have my jacket
if I had a bullet in my heart I jumped in front of you
I would have

because the past no longer will influence my future
I will not die for you anymore
for you laughed at my love
and tossed it aside

so when you lay dying from the vacancy in your chest
because when I ran I left without a word
don't think too much about it

I'm not eye catching
I do not turn heads
I'm no more special than the next
For somebody else is always better
Prettier, smarter, stronger, wiser
That I would be moronic to believe
Anybody would stop to stare at me
I'm exceptionally ordinary
But then again
There is probably somebody
Who is better at that too

I've got scratches on my knees
From the pressure Ive received
My heart beat quicked for a moment
As the pain was placed upon me
I can deny it all I want
But the scars on my shoulders
Match the edges of your words
So then I'm alone with them
And nobody answers the phone anymore
When you're sick you fade quick into nothing
My heart is a target
Each beat shot at like an animal
When something is dying you love it
Then why don't you love me now?
My sadness repels you like poisonous thorns
Each one more toxic then the one before
Who are you to me if not a hunter?
Can't you see me scream when you fire?
Tomorrow will be another sun and another set
I believe in it I do
That you can see my horizon
The way you see a god
Wait if I set the world down?
Would the pressure I feel dismount
Would it soften the blow of each bullet you shoot?
I can't run because I'm stuck
Always leaving, ways running away
But not I
Because I've got scratches on my knees from the world which I hold
But you still use me for target

when was the time it started rocking
was it the second of lost memory
wait a minute i'm thinking something
if that thinking has anything to do with me

with the hour getting late
i try and explain away the day
with a week making me in the knees
a month of this will put me in the grave

i feel it's been a life long journey
surviving all the way till now
as i wonder what's the hurry
a year lost could be twelve months found

why do they call it a sneeze
when it's clearly achoo
or call you a nut
when you have a loose *****
they say do not speak
unless spoken to
i sometimes don't
but most often do

why does a mosquito buzz
when it comes in for a bite
why does light always rhyme
with the darkness of night
if they've had enough
they say go fly a kite
why is the cut off for cats
stop at nine lives

why if the world spins so fast
we don't all fly off
why does the doctor go there
then asks you to cough
why does your age mostly show
to those but not you
why is the grass green
why is the sky blue

are the sun and the moon
the best of good friends
do they stay up late nights
after we've long gone to bed
and who's in charge of the sugar plums
that dance in my head
that have gone to my hips
that are making me fat

just a few things
i ponder in life
the over and under
the may and just might
the good and the bad
the wrong and the write
the wondrous blunders
as I plunder through life

Not so sure it's good
For me to be alone
Gives me time to think
Of the things I know
And the things I know
Never are quite right
The way I think I may
The way I know I might

Not so sure it's good
In the choosing of the sides
Where my brain convenes
With the left and right
While one stands up for yes
The other sits for no
Never can you tell
Which way this mind will go

Not so sure it's good
To let it out to play
Where in its adolescence gets lost
Or just ups and runs away

"You don't know how lucky you have it,”
I say as I brake for the bird
who is hopping uncertainly
in the middle of the intersection,
torn between flight
and flirting with death
one second longer.

Today it will live.

I press my foot down on the gas pedal.

One day our sun will stop burning-
our universe will freeze, contract, and be reborn;
empires will fall and rise,
but will never see you skin your knees
or fight with your mother;
the wind will never carry away the chalk dust
from your grinning face.

Life persists but bears its scars;
and I see them
in the way we wish on the light of stars
that have been dead for thousands of years;
and I feel them
in the way that fingers trace the stretch marks
that have not yet faded from your mothers stomach.

A still small lump lies in the middle of the barren road,
and I swerve to avoid it

even though the squirrels guts
have already been painted across the gravel

and the baby’s ashes
have already been returned to the cold earth.

The world doesn't stop turning
for either;
but I weep
for both.

You told me you loved me,
But I merely shrugged.
You kissed and hugged me,
But I simply looked the other way.
You told me you'd stay forever,
But I believed you.