And then he asked "but, how do you still find your smile when such dreaded things have happened?"



"Darling, a tear wont change my past, but my smile can mould my future"

Tonight's the night
We fight or die
And you can bet
It will be violent
But the aggression
That we have to bring
Is the only chance we have
To make a change.


-
by Aleksander Mielnikow

I'd heard about problems with police
hard to hear harder to believe
personally I never had a problem
oh a few well deserved speeding tickets
probably cut a break no definitely
I drove very fast especially in the turns
roll-the-tires fast in the turns
that was me

and the more I heard the faster I turned

as a young kid I applied and was accepted
to six colleges six for six piece of cake
why the stress my SAT score equated
to an I.Q. of 1 above plant life
accepted open arms those WASPs loved me
graduate school one for one
      best in the country
bar none MBA with honors that was easy
they called it the golden passport yes

passports are even faster

I never had problems
   with band-aids
       the bank
the insurance company
      the healthcare system
never turned down
      for a credit card car loan
life insurance policy
      or request for a specialist
experience is the best teacher
      and the more I learned
the less I wanted to know
      and the faster I turned

then I learned
   about certain specifics
      certain policies

with regard to traffic stops
bank loans rental property
heath care voting rights marriage
read the color purple
and then that invaluable government  
       syphilis experiment
that would have been inconceivable
       even to doctor mengele
that the star spangled banner
       has more than one stanza?  
really there were four stanzas?

MY country ‘tis of ME
      and it was making me feel *****

learned that no one
      voluntarily held that flag up
that hellish night
      o’er the ramparts WE watched
as slave and freedmen
              were ordered
      to their near certain death
with the threat of absolute
      certain death

then I watched a cop
       shoot a kid in the back
              in cold blood
near a merry-go-round
on a playground
in baltimore maryland
I liked baltimore
fast very fast he emptied the 10 round clip
of a semi-automatic 9mm Glock 27
into THAT kid's back no hesitation ******

baltimore baltimore baltimore baltimore

I hit the brakes hard
      on those fast decades and decades
generations generations generations
      of turning
I slowed down way way way down
      stopped
took a deep deep deeper breath
then did what I always did and do best
I turned turned turned I turned around
and as I turned I woke
to kneel

My knees are sore,
but the week before
brought the horrors
of a civil war
down upon
their poor
village.

Had to take
my car to the shop,
she had to find
a clean cloth
to stop
the blood
that will not clot.

I got a broken tooth,
but the little child
wears bullet holes
past the thin layers
of his ragged cloths

Over ate
when I am trying
to lose weight.
It would be nice
if the last time
they ate
was yesterday.

I’m getting old
her family is
getting cold
sitting in a hole
where death reigns
and pain stains
the hearts of
those they loved
who managed to escape.

Every time she take a good look of her old pictures

All she could remember is pain
All she could remember is violence
All she could remember is bad words

She wants to remember a happy memory
But she couldn't

Because she didn't have one and
Because the pain last
While the happiness gone