smoking a bag full of memories
over the flame of your past
you get high on a girl
you no longer love
but can’t stop thinking about
and there’s nothing you can do
to change the way it went down,
only imagine what could’ve been
if you’d done things a bit differently
which somehow hurts more yet makes
you chuckle on the inside
and now’s she’s out there
with other people,
in other places,
doing other things
that don’t involve you
while you sulk in the corner
with the useless bottle,
the useless tears
and the useless fantasies
that you’ve never lived in.
I say relax kid,
if you look back on the entirety of yourself,
you’ve made it through drug overdoses,
car crashes, untruthful rumors, utter loneliness,
suicide attempts and the impeccable timing of bad luck
I’m fairly certain you’ll make it through this too,
it’s only heartbreak.

Something's missing, alone.

At first, the state
of being, only, one like,
in the extreme, being

once,
in a while passing
at thought speed past
instances
on planes,
like that one
carving lines up there,
above my head, so here,

I laugh and materialize,
a new idea,
as long as I am breathing,

I am not exactly alone, I know,
not alone, at all,
on Earth
on average,
we all breathe
at once,
half breathing in,
half breathing out, but

never, on Earth does one breathe alone.

Like a box of crayons,
We come in many shades, and
in many different colors,
Shades and skintones, we
Precede one another.
We have the reds, and
the Oranges galore,
and the rest of the colors,
that we certainly do adore.
We are like crayons,
We start off as perfect, but
When we're worned down,
We are tattered and broken,
We are still useful, although
our essence had faded,
We're used less and less, and
We start to feel degraded,
We are like these crayons,
We are still around, but
Our purpose becomes useless,
as we are dwindling on down!!!


B.R.
Date: 11/9/2024

men want you to be feminine
but then make you hate being a girl
if this summer has taught me anything
it’s a man’s world and I’m just living in it
I am surrounded by testosterone
even my new therapist is a man
so many opinions and all of them matter but mine
so many names that everyone remembers but mine
so many wants and needs that are met, except
mine
because I am a girl

As I write this poem,
Barrelling toward me are
College applications and
Dual enrollment classes.
Everybody dreads it but
For most of my life, I anticipated
Going to school with the
Hectic excitement that comes from
Imagination only a child can have.
Just like every year since
Kindergarten, I seriously
Lack confidence in
My ability to do what I
Need to do in order to
Overachieve as expected, but unlike
Previous years, I
Quiver with exhaustion earned by
Regurgitating information about
Systems that I will never
Truly need, but am tested on.
Useless, useless, useless,
Very, so very useless is how
We feel now, both the lessons and I.
Xanthan complexion, nauseous, nervous,
Yellow like the school buses I want to
Zap away, but climb aboard anyway.