this poem, honey, is all you’ll get –
not out of cruelty,
but fear.
every time i opened the door,
you’d flinch,
step back,
and leave me
with unsaid words,
and cruel bitterness.

i was always the kind
with a toothbrush to spare
reserved for only you,
not knowing who you'd be.

a friend, perhaps, in need
of a soft bed and duvet,
a midnight love, leaving
just as sudden as it came.

maybe i was always
hoping that my sanctuary
would be enough,
and maybe, just maybe,
you'd peel the old love away,
like paint from a windowsill—

but you never stayed.

echo island
invites me to dine on its shore.
the wild orchid, hidden and torn,
begs me to linger,
weaves gold in my hair —
and claims me,
its trophy,
unaware.

Sleepless nights
Never ending thoughts
All of my life lost
Reminding time never stops

Heart full of love
Mind filled with pain
Too late now to express
All of it goes in vain

Unsent letters, Lay by my side
Once filled with love
Now fills me with pain
To get out of this, I can't find a way

Starts, I see in the sky
Shining even when it's dark
Telling me it's fine
To be better next time



I am shining too

I reply
 no one sees me shining

in these vast skies

The room is dark and cold
Slowly sleep unfolds
To wake up in the morning again
With nothing to gain

Chasing shadows on sunny days, that’s me
Trying to ignore your feelings every time you
Count to three; every picture of me you take,
Makes my heart break with how much love it contains

say something.
i’d love to hear
how your voice might break
the ice that’s formed between.

say something.
say it out loud.
let it quiet the war
raging beneath my doubt.

say something.
say you carry my scent home,
etched into your skin,
weathering the rain and storm.

say something.
say you see the hurt —
that this wandering heart of mine
is heavier than any witch-cast curse.

say something.
say nothing will change,
and i can follow you blindly
to where love is a leap of faith.

say something.
say this is enough for you.
that my pure-hearted longing
was only borrowed, not owed.

say something.
say that when the years have passed,
you’ll be no more than a forgotten weight,
and i won’t ache for you again.

i fall in love,
like it’s a dare.
no helmet, no warning,
like being in the middle of nowhere,
when it starts pouring.

my hollow heart, unprotected,
waits to be washed away
with echoes of the silence,
that grow too heavy,
until they strain.

the flood begins within,
soaking through skin, through veins,
tainted by you, to my core,
with a weight
i was never built to bear.

the water rises, inch by inch,
but i don’t gasp.
i’m prepared.

i drown quietly, without struggle,
as if this ache has earned its place.
the tide carves out my ruins,
leaving nothing, but empty space.

and maybe that’s the mercy —
not the saving, but the cease.
when the water stills inside me,
there’s a moment of release.

the melody can be heard again.
i know the notes by heart.
i try to rip them from memory —
but i can’t.

the rhythm’s different,
but the tune’s the same.

like a possessed demon
it chases me underground,

and yet i sing.
sing along to it
the entire time.

these days, my soul feels heavy,
bursting with a secret still untold.
bearing it, it scorches steady,
but you broke our dream i’d hold.

your cruelty lived in me, raging.
i long craved what you’d denied.
it took an age to stop the blaming —
i, too, had darkness inside.

and yet, to this day, i’d circle back,
turn the bitter wheel of time,
re-play our teenage soundtrack
with a sip or two of wine.

knowing everything, i’d hit rewind,
see where our road leads to,
appreciate you, with a mature mind,
and undo all of your wounds.

maybe we’d stay ‘in the zone’,
maybe we’d claim the world —
wander every corner of our home,
or england’s cold and grim shores.

we wouldn’t be so far away,
pretending, frigid strangers.
i’d know all of life’s mistakes,
all your whispered prayers.

defiant thing, the past.
it offers less than what it stole.
my heart still pulls toward
a time when yours was whole.

i’d know you’re not tormented by
neither the past, nor the present.
i’d know you healed with time,
and wish our sorrow never happened.

but if one day, you still look back,
know, my heart is pure.
as you turn back, breathe for me —
then don’t look back at all.

i can't seem to wash you off my skin.
yours accidentally touched mine.
as shadows fall onto the eclipse,
my heart turns into a landmine.

exhausted it lays, beating faster,
whenever you're on my mind.
breaths, drawn in sharper,
i can't seem to shut you out.

it's ridiculous, i say to myself,
the power you have on me.
thoughts of you send splinters
throughout every inch of my body.

your presence itself feels like a sin.
you're all i think about.
my wishes, never leaving my lips,
could cause the stars to burn out.

it all weighs heavy on my chest,
like ruins no one came to save.
so i leave it there—forgotten, rotting—
just wishful thinking
digging its own grave.