Do you ever wonder what will be left when we're gone?

Will it be the meeting invites
The spreadsheet that are the final final final draft

The days leaving home in the dark
And returning when it's even darker

Time away from the people we love
The things we want
Ideas of who we'd rather be

Are our lives just passing deadlines?

An endless cycle of things to circle back on
To put a pin in
And take offline

Are we anything but idling as the days pass us by?

i can feel the passion slowly fading.
when faced with blank pages, i spew nothing
but empty words and meaningless sentences,
so superficial, overflowing with pretenses.

oh, how i miss the wide-eyed writer I used to be:
the type to pour his whole heart and soul into his stories.
now, i'm stuck chasing the words that were once mine,
stuck wondering if i'll ever get back my shine.

Broke as hell
Blue light eyes
Pity be pity see
Pushing till they pull
Color coded notes on fire
Scholar of all that is okayish
Handicapped lockjaw zombie
Swimmers in the styrian river of Dante’s Inferno
A stop sign growing in the middle of the street
Thousand yard letter grade stare
12 missed assignments
Experienced Naivete
Dementia in progress
Last year’s Amnesia
Crossing busy streets
Vegetative

no point in thinking
about right or wrong,
in the end, is it ever up to us?

I wonder about my hopes.
I may have lost them all,
yet I fail to indulge
in the epicurean practice
of abandonment.

no glory, joy, or
gold—if it mattered—awaits me,
it's something its consequence
will hurl a spear
between my blades

and watch me fall to the absence of sea.

but there is hope for the child
that once held my hand
and said “you're kind.”

thus with this spear,
I may take sail
into the abundance of tears.

I told myself
"I will have a great day"
We tell ourselves things that are so cliche
but makes us feel even more isolate.

Despite the positive affirmations
I felt so unmotivated and everything I did or told myself I will do
made it feel like it was obligated.

wake up
its tuesday again
no i don't want to continue watching
i wont brush my teeth this morning

these days
i often ask myself
why do I do