I read a sign on the interstate driving home today
‘expect the unexpected’

The wires in my brain are short circuiting again
And I feel myself slipping on black ice
I think I may have hit my head

Days seem like seconds
They jump back and forth like a game of hopscotch
Making me forget homework was due today
and not next week

Winter has come and gone
But my body still moves in slow motion, frozen
Unable to thaw even in the hottest shower
Even when my skin is bright red and burning

My room is a stagnant body of water
The walls seem to know how to breathe
Drawing closer with each inhale
And I am terribly claustrophobic

How can I expect the unexpected
when I knew this was coming?

"the unexpected arrived where the disadvantage was welcomed, and enthusiasm was the only refuge to me..."

(j.a.r.)

I thought I knew what love was like.
I thought I could ride it like a bike.
Go fast or slow as I saw fit
with a cushy seat on which to sit.
Hop off when I got tired or sore
and ride again if I got bored.

But there is no rhyme or reason
Love is unexpected
and so were you

such days of quiet loving warmth
of joy and mirth between the two of us

sun-flooded islands in the paltry seas
of middle-age when waves of disillusion
break hard against your course
and
   lest you are alert
may leave you stranded
   just off shore
in waters flat with bitterness forever

such saving days of joyous love

                    * *

Feeling crushed,
forced to be what society wants me to be.
Posters show something I should be.

Not healthy enough,
Not fat enough,
Can't win,
never how someone wants me to be.

I am placed alone or with others
but am always different in some way.
In the end,
Society will eat me anyway.

I wish I could say how I feel,
but I cannot...

I am a burger.

it was a phone call I didn't want
it was a phone call I didn't expect
it was news I didn't want to hear
it was news I didn't see coming
all I could think was why?
the cliche "why do bad things happen to good people?"
couldn't be more true.

A little less
Than a year ago
I picture you:
Your leg wrapped
Around my torso
And propped up
By my hand;
I have a purse,
a drink, and you
adorning my body
Hanging onto me
I am small
You are smaller
A cigarette
Dangles
From your
Left fingertips
Coffee and
Champagne
On your lips
We both wear crowns
Atop
Our seemingly
Stubborn smiles
Happiness
Will not
Relent
I have known
You
For so long
Now
Almost half
Our little lives
Tonight,
I am proud
Of you
It is New Years
You haven’t drank
Too much
You know
This year
Will be a good one
Enough
To tell me so
Enough
For me
To believe
In you
Again
Already
Making changes,
Setting promises
Nothing is the same
Since you
Came home
Two Augusts
Ago
Tonight,
Had never before
Fulfilled
Its cliché promises
But as of tomorrow
We have our chalkboard
Of rainbow colored erase marks
At midnight,
We get to Start
Anew

I have been extremely bubbly thanks to him,I feel like I can't live seconds without him,its the first time this has ever happened;
This love is true;
He loves me as a whole, even my extraordinary side I wasn't sure I could live with;
This love was unseen;
I thought I would never be with him, he was one of the popular kids;
This love is stunning;
Who would have ever thought we would make such good company?
This love I hope is never ending;

Who are you?
You came when I was in pieces
Shattered, but you pick it up 
Piece by piece you fixed me
It's not complete, but I can finally breathe

Who are you?
Making me smile 
Without me telling you
You knew I'm trying to forget him
But why are you still trying?

Who are you?
Despite shutting you out
You keep asking how my day was
Didn't I hurt you enough?
You must never see my flaws

Who are you?
Mr Stranger who are you?
I'm slowly getting up again
And I'm scared to fall again

But please Mr Stranger
Please, Please don't leave.