Its weird
I want you but I don't
I need you but I can survive on my own
I love you but I love you enough to know I shouldn't

Im so confused
Im so lost
I care so much but so less
None of this makes any sense

Can you just make it clear
Clear enough for me to hear
Whether you're just as confused or that Im just in the wrong state of mind.

even when I'm chasing someone else
I'm still trying to get to you.
You'd think eighteen years would be enough to shake this.
whatever.
I'll still see you in my sleep.

you know how at night
within the confounds of four walls and endless darkness
you find yourself making things up?
I do.
1) My father loves me.
2) I don't care what people think.
3) I hate you.
heh, yeah you see it too, right?
there's a list of three and none are true.
now if only I can figure out
how to not lie
And hate you

Tell me baby,
Do you like how I feel?
When you looked in my eyes,
Did you see something real?
Could you fall for me,
So you pushed me away?
Or is this just the game
We'll play?

I know you love the way I speak,
My body language,
Tempting,
And making you weak.
I'm open to taking the potion
You claim is so closed up
Inside.

Let me soak you in,
You've already been within.
The walls of my humble scene,
Trust me, baby, there is no screen.

I wanna feel your love,
Be real with your love.
If you'd give me the chance
I just can't steal your love.
Send it my way.
And if later,
I have to pay,
Make it worth it.
I won't throw a fit,
But baby just know,
If you want it,
You got it.

Emptied out the suitcase of my thoughts
I'm kinda tired of lugging them around
Searching for a place to just feel sore
Without some ******* telling me
To flip my smile around

If I could? Don't you think I would?
If I could just blank out the bullcrap of today
If I could? You bet I would.
Funnily ******* enough, things don't quite work that way.

Wiping away the scratchmarks of the day
With the antiseptic wipe of yet another pill

Nothing is wrong but,
Sadness demands to be felt.
I will sleep it off.

the oceans in your eyes
will always draw me near
and i know that i can't swim
but i would like to sink to the bottom
and feel my lungs inflate
to compensate for the air i've lost

I watched the words drop from your lips,
Like nuclear bombs,
Aimed to obliterate:
My body,
My soul,
My heart.
Like a frenzied citizen,
Preparing for the hit,
Then the fallout.
Gathering rations,
Securing the shelter,
But it is of no use.
No one can be completely prepared,
For utter destruction.
----------------------------------------------------­-----------
"Sorry, I'm just not interested in you, anymore."

I've been smoking cigarettes.
Hoping to fill the void.
Completely numb.
Completely obliterated.
I've been crying.
Tears like stones.
Tears like acid.
I've been breathing slowly.
Inhales like sleep.
Inhales like knives.
I've been existing.
Life like pain.
Life like death.

*******, Pavlov.