your words hurt me,
your actions break me.

i'm not your friend.
for ***** sake,
i'm not your friend.

you hurt me.
and i'm sorry i cannot
talk to you.

it hurts me
to imagine hurting you.
so i'll stay quiet.
because apparently that's
what i'm best at (remember?)

but my god,
i'm not your *******
friend.

so leave me alone.

Is the best piece you ever wrote your suicide note?You were a writer and you knew how to turn your words into weapons. You weren't supposed to use them on your own skin. What made you wage a war you know you couldn't win?
Why Did you hurt the ones you love and call it art? Did the act of waking up every day burn your insides so much that
You couldn’t bear to stay on Earth for another sunset without collapsing yourself? Is that why you went away? Is it sunny there? Or warm, at least I know you didn’t like the heat but you needed a promising heartbeat and New England winters stole the color from your smile, I saw it with my own eyes. I saw you glow too and that makes me wonder why you left. The leaves fell off trees and you danced underneath, something about that felt like magic. What made you feel so free and where'd it go? You loved October air growing up, and how it filled your lungs,apple pie that just cooled off, but warm enough to heat you up. You used to eat the whole thing,
and now you can't. Did you stop hurting the way you used to here? How can we be sure? You never asked anyone for help, and now you can’t.

I hate when I'm in the mood to write
But nothing I put down comes out right.
I'm thinking about him and my excitement
But at the same time I'm nervous, also content.

I guess I can't decide whether to be tired or vent.

i just had the urge to stroke your face, wouldn't that be weird?
don't worry about looking good- you already got that covered.
awh, you're so cute!
i love you.
i appreciate you.
thanks for being a such a friend.

Why is giving up so sweet to taste
like cold cream in strong brewed coffee,
I wish that same strength for me,
but instead the way the milk,
though bad for me I know,
mixes in like December's first snow,
leaves me in a trance,
I am frozen in the road,
the way ahead I will not go,
because I have never tasted happiness
and giving up is just too sweet

The economy is horrible
Hillary is horrible,
Her husband disagrees with her,
so does Bernie,
women are horrible,
me, I'm deplorable,
but NO ONE
respects 'em more than I do
& I mean nobody
yeah just grab 'em by the *****
though you'll never find a quote
that I said,
Mexicans are a problem too,
so we're gonna make a bunch of money,
build a wall,
no limits on assault weapons,
be friends with Putin,
sleep wid' him...hehe,
I gotta plan,
make America great again,
build a really BIG wall
have 105% GDP they say,
I don't believe 'em,
they're liars,
so is Hillary,
she's a nasty, nasty woman,
I may or may not
except the election results,
I'm.gonna keep you in the dark,
sure I'm gonna be a great president,
I run an amazing company,
don't know **** about politics,
but run it my way
and we're all sure to go
to hell
in a handbasket.

***?
Say WHAT?
I don't think so,
Deplorable man,
Emotional infant.
Such a big bafoon,
yes he's dangerous,
we can't let it happen,
& that hair,

Seriously,
I can't even go there.

Ma Cherie © 2016

He said what?
4 real?
Wow, huh!?!
Drug tests before the next debate?
Oh I cannot wait

Yeah like issues ain't our thang?

Sounds like desperation
to me anyway,
Ugh!

Cherie Nolan © 2016

I hear what people say.
Especially if it's something they're interested in.
And if they want to tell me that.
I don't ignore them because the saddest thing someone can do
is ignore someone when they are
completely obsessed with what they tell me.
I want them to tell me because they are my friend
and they should want to talk to me about something
or and another,

I should want to hear what they say.    

at least i have the decency to takeout my headphones
and actually ******* listen to what you have say,
all i get is 'oh yeah' 'yup' 'uh huh'
i'm so tired of being ignored

i just came to the realization that every one around me will one day die..
so i mean whats the point right?
how i see it, is that 3 people will truly notice me when im gone:
my mom
my dad
Kiya

My mom because, well to be blunt because i came out of her, and because shes supposed to care shes supposed to know when i have tears running out of my eyes, when i dont feel like living, shes supposed to notice my bad days, when i say 'oh, i just have a headache' shes supposed to notice.
why doesn't she notice... i just want her to notice

My dad because he helped create me, and he fees guilty for beating on me and my brother and cheating on my mom, like a new phone will fix his past mistakes, he will probably think its his fault, because he wasn't there to tell me what a beautiful daughter i am like every statistic says. he'll probably **** himself too, because hes a coward, cheaters always are.

and lastly Kiya
shell feel sad and go into a bigger depression she already is because her mom passed away about two years now, and shell most likely be on her phone at my funeral because thats all she does when shes around me, the most conversation she has with me is over the phone anyways, shell probably text me when im dead to just try and keep the conversation going, shell say 'today i ****** Anna again and i feel weird about it...' and go on because thats ill i hear from her and im ******* sick of it.
thats why im killing myself, because all this ****. is amazingly not worth any of this heartbreak i feel everyday in my sad little pathetic 15 year old teenage life.