your hands are on me
you made me bad
disgusting, rotten and
wrong
you spoiled my innocence
my ability to trust
you erased my childhood with your
hands
all i can see is your hands
everywhere they shouldn’t be
they’re suffocating me and you’re
evil
you’re **** near evil
you’re just a memory
i hope you burn, bleed, drown
choke

Oral **** joke is that I wanted to come over
The oral **** joke is his bed that I agreed to lay in
The oral **** joke is I was the one who wanted to make out
The oral **** joke is whatever we call it was finished
My mind filled with guilt
It takes a society to tell a **** joke
The oral **** joke is his neck that I shouldn't have kissed
The oral **** joke is this has happened before with someone else
The oral **** joke is I am still friends with that someone else
The oral **** joke is that I never broke up with the second guy
The oral **** joke is that even with my mind filled with guilt
And my stomach turning with sickness
I still wanted him forever
The oral **** joke is I should have pushed him off
**** jokes make me wanna just die
The oral **** joke is he got to break up with me the night after
The oral **** joke is he got to start dating another girl
The oral **** joke is he didn't have to feel the guilt
The oral **** joke is he's happy
The oral **** joke is because I didn't leave I'm not allowed to be traumatized from it
The oral **** joke is because I talk about it like it was nothing
I must have wanted to do it
Of course I don't cry myself to sleep at night thinking about it or anything
No I totally didn't hurt myself over it or anything
The oral **** joke is I should have went home
The oral **** joke is I'm the one who kept kissing him even tho he kept trying to do something I was not comfortable with
The oral **** joke is the questions
Why didn't I say no louder?
And why didn't I say no more clearly?
Even tho I said it 5 times
I should have said it again
The oral **** joke is when I got home I acted like it never happened
The oral **** joke is that it was my fault
The oral **** joke is I didn't leave him

I'm a little traumatized for not being able to write for so long.
Am I somewhere between writers block or I don't know what to write?

I'm a little bit traumatized, well not a little bit but a whole lot bit.

My passion stays burning but where's my need for writing?

i think you traumatized me black and blue
black and blue
black and blue
all of the bruises
they are free from my skin
but not from my head
you traumatized me
black and blue
black and blue

I carved my name into a desk.
I didn't think much of it then
But looking back at the mess
I can see the innocence

No walls to hold him
Just a desk to learn
And mark on a whim
To know I was here

And the lesson began

So they took my hands
Beat them with the edge of a rule

Hard enough to hurt but not bruise
To cut but not bleed

Just skin

So I looked down at my desk
And my name in pain
Trying not to cry
Tears tried in my eyes

My name is blurred
The table is blurred
Like a white washed wall at twilight.

Ended up opening my eyes,
Eyes burning from not being closed.
Being exposed, or suppose,
Them po-po's took my girl,
A sleep, calling her a **'.

Mouth closed, better propose,
Something to transpose,
This hurricane, into a home.
Lost without my nose.

Tossing and turning on my bed,
Holding my Head,
****! I feel like I'm dead.
hunger?...
But the only thing,
On this fridge, is Bread.

Vision blurry,
All I see is Red.
Eyes on the Cealing,
What happened to the,
"MaMa said" ?

I hate this feeling, insomnia.
night prolongs, lifeline is a drama.
mama, ain't here,
seing every stain of my pajama
oh No! The hour of coma.

A dream I wish it was,
when the hounds of hell
were unleashed upon my family.

A dream I wish it was,
when teh aftermath caused
me to weep day in and day out,
wishing it was only a figment of
my hell - filled imagination

A dream I wish it was... ... ...