I thought of cool lines with hard angles
Sliding fingers across steel burnished bright
The touch felt solid under rapt enraptured fingers
Heavy to the hand, but built so very light

This gun was my protection
It shimmered in the moonlight, built for feel
Blurring hard angles into smooth curves
Steel gave way to flesh, earthly appeal

Lubrication turned to sweat, slick with desire
This power is intoxicating, it makes me free
Silky hair took place of polymer coat
My lover was my gun
Pointed right at me

Beautiful young boy with a heart of gold,
Corrupt my heart with your ugly soul,
All good intentions rotting you whole,
Crying wolf to walls of stone,
Pack your bags and hope to live ,
Pills stain your strawberry lips .

Beautiful young girl with an innocent face ,
Date all the boys and hope they wont break,
All good intentions rotting you whole ,
Praying for guidance yet corrupting your soul ,
Addiction at night and purity by day ,
No one knows the true mask you display .

I met you when I was broken
I thought you could fix me
and pick up the pieces.

With you I went in hard
and at full speed.

I was so blind,too
blind to see what was
happening. It felt like I was
driving with my eyes closed
and crashed.

I thought you
were good for me, but really
you were a band aid covering
my wounds, at least for the
time being.

I never thought
you would be the one to make
my scars deeper. You got distant
I became too clingy. You constantly
put me down and controlled who
I was allowed to see.

Constant nights
filled with screaming and ending
with my eyes feeling waterfalls.


Your words felt like venom, poisoning
my mind.  I was just a puppet and you
were the master.
Who knew pretty boys could be so ugly.

I used to hope you would choke on the life you ****** out of me,
Except after you left, I discovered all that you took was your own poison
I am free

~sdr

you played me like a cello,
at first i thought the sweet symphonies were beautiful,
a melody just for us,
but then the bow cut deep into my spine,
and bled me dry
and you continued to play.
i still think of your music to this day.
my scars still are on display.
how come it still sounds beautiful to my ears?

Told my feelings were fake
Laughed at for crying
Brutalized for refusing
Depicted as anomalous
This is my "home"

I exploded, caught a breath as I felt the silencing

Crossed volatile environments
Misunderstood ephemeral friends
Bullied, ostracized
Experienced injustice
This is school

I performed, in the illusion of shutting silencing

Living my curiosity
Knowledge is my strength
Reflexivity makes me grow
Embracing my difference
This is my refuge

I introspected, in the freedom of their paralyzed silencing

Meet mind-like people
Discovered my emotions
Explored my preferences
Dug my family history
This is my travel

I free-fell, as in my trust I hit structural silencing

Communicating humbly
Nourishing healthy relationships
Trusting my positions
Affirming my autonomy
This is my womanhood

Becoming a mother, I urge to gather the pieces for her freedom