I see her
The way she stands
The way she smiles
It angers me.

Why won’t she listen
Why won’t she quit
She’s mine and should-
Always listen,

It makes her think I’m cruel
I’m cold and incapable of love
But I gave her all and everything I had
I install her with fear, for the world-
And all that’s around her
I truly love her, but wished she’d disappear.

She wants to make her own decisions
Fine go be your own grown up
And find out the world can’t take you
You’re too much until you’re too little
She’s the thread, and I keep pulling
Why does she want to leave…

They’ll eat you alive
I’m just trying to help
Even out of spite,
So when she breaks-
At least I warned her
She’ll never make it alone.

In her eyes, he saw the sea,
A mighty ocean staring back.
When she told him she wanted to leave,
He could feel his heart crack.
When she said that it was over,
Felt like he was swimming underwater.
He thought he would drown,
All this pain, hidden behind a frown,
As he sank deeper down.
In his eyes, she saw defeat,
Not to mention all the pain.
When she told him she wanted to leave,
She ignored the rain.
When she said that it was over,
She took the first step out of the water.
She wasn’t going to drown,
She was tired of sinking down,
Even if she had to make him frown.
No amount of therapy,
Could save them from the raging sea…

Every time I think I'm free,
I'm reminded that I'm not-
Years of separation,
Distance, even blocked.

A helping hand from you
Has always been a trap
Wrapped up in bows,
Pretty, but you'll snap.

I always stand my ground,
Cover my walls in spikes,
Until I think about the little boy you were-
You didn't mean to grow with so much spite.

That's always my downfall-
The child in me sees the child in you,
And I just want to save him,
But only you can save him from you.

So I keep taking these setbacks,
Hoping to show you some light,
But you leave me beat and bruised
When I only wanted you to feel less alone on your darkest nights.

I want a friendship,
Be cordial at least,
But there must be something in me
That makes you so ******* mean.

Still, you don’t let me stray far-
If you can’t have me, no one will.
I want to know sweet love while I’m young,
But maybe that prophecy was never mine to fill.

I hate some teachers,
They are the worst creatures,
You'll say they help us learn,
but what about the mental trauma
they give in return.
You made me cry
I cried-cried-cried,
Causing pain in my eyes.
I wish I could see the same pain
in your eyes.
I will never forget,
How you made me dead,
Still getting nightmares in my head.
Students go through this,
Isn't it sad?
Why these adults don't understand?
OUR PAIN!!
to be a perfect student.
Why can't we live our dreams?
forced to do what makes money.
We are human,
But not treated as one,
Isn't it funny?

i’m over you
no really
truly

i feel nothing when i think of you
and it's bizarre if i'm honest
the emptiness that washes over the cracks in my heart,
over the crooks where sadness and anger were once stuffed

i'm over you, you were in my life for 5 months and it took me 6 to do it
but i am, over you
they say it takes 28 days for skin to regenerate
28 days for the lingering poison of your touch to disappear from my body
you’d think, having been 6 months since you left I would feel good about it
and I’m happy
i feel lighter
just not light

because it takes 28 days for skin to grow anew
but for me its only figurative and poetic
after all you never did touch me
so i feel the ghost of our future together
the one you killed gripping onto my skin,
the weight of what could have been akin to that of the absence of you
I close my eyes and see your silhouette,
the outline of dreams we dared to name but not chase
your voice echoing through the hollow spaces where my hope laid waste

the emotions aren’t there anymore
i can breathe finally not under their weight
but connection lingers, the facts and memories as one

because it’s been 6 months since you walked out
and yet i know that you are a light sleeper
i know that you can’t function without a heating pad
i know what your favorite patches on your jacket are
and what’s the next tattoo you want

I know the careers you dreamed of pursuing
the future you wanted to grasp in your hands
if only the world had given you the chance,
and how it saddens you that it didn’t.
I know every dessert you love is tainted with raspberries some way or another,
every bread you eat bitterly laced with the memory of your father

I know your favorite show
and the scenes that make you cry.
I know what your notebook looks like,
and how my name is written somewhere inside

I know your silences mean fear
I know the snort in your laugh when it’s so raw, so real, that you can’t hold it back.
I know you’re scared to be alone
I know how to read your looks like a page full of words
at your core its you that i know

because five months isn't a lot
but its enough time to learn
and six months isn't enough to forget
i still carry you like a splinter
useless, too small to pull, too deep to ignore
and constantly under my skin

They say time heals, that distance brings clarity,
but time is a thief, stealing everything except the memory
And clarity is cruel, showing me the jagged edges of what I once thought full
where i thought love and warmth lay, distrust and hurt showed
I try to rebuild myself, brick by brittle brick,
but every wall I raise feels like a monument to you

i.m filled with pieces of you like shrapnel,
no box to bury them in, no ears to hold their sting
Maybe one day my skin will forget the not-quite-there touch,
my body will no longer carry the bruises of your latch
But for now, I am a graveyard full of your past, of all you didn’t want
a mosaic of broken pieces waiting to fully be crushed

but if anyone asks
im over you