"Just stop messaging, ringing me etcetera.
What happened, happened.
Move on,
please!"

No pause, no hesitation.
He continued

"I don't want to be mates etcetera.
I just want to focus on the next step in my life"

He concluded,

"It's nothing you did, I just think you're not
what I'm looking for really."

for a moment, my
feet touched the
bottom

it's intriguing and black and
empty, but so full
you must see what's down
it's so hard to stay
away from the drain and sometimes
you don't even know what pulled
the plug
but your foot touches the hole and you just
sort of cry because
here we are
again
I thought we were past this
and it's all a Jenga
puzzle
over and ******* over again it
never ends, there is
no peace

just brief moments of relief
when you pull at a piece and the tower
doesn't collapse
you're still standing and
you go to take a breath and suddenly you're
chin up, clutching the side of
the tub
and all that comes out are
silent screams, as your gut rots in
ache

feeling is the human condition
we are a tad bit melancholic
us silly human creatures
we remember the past better than it was and
worry about things that have yet to (if ever) happen
and waste the present moment even though
we sometimes realize how fleeting it is
we **** it up anyway
and I think you just have to say
**** it
and go all in with whatever
you have, whatever you may be doing

what do i have to do to be noticed by you
would i catch your attention if i crashed a car
yesterday i climbed on the roof and did twenty jumping jacks
does my incredible emotional instability repel you
do you want to cuddle me until i never have those thoughts
please just answer my text

I really hope my best friend is ok...
Ive texted her and messaged her and called her a few times today.

she hasnt responded back...
I hope shes is alright.,....
I hope she gets back intouch with me at least by tonight.

I know shes going thru something thats so sad....
I cant imagine loosing a parent....but i dont have a dad...(well step)

I hope each day is easier and she can soon again smile.....
but im sure it wont be for awhile.

7 minutes pass by

a flash of light captures your gaze
pulling you back into reality
out of the daydreams filled with words that were never spoken
you reach for the phone
holding your breath
smug with the thought of the content in the message that lit up your screen

your smirk fades
almost faster than the hope in your heart

it wasn't her

13 minutes

but you were so clever weren't you?
you know her like the back of your hand
how could she resit replying?
how could the anger not boil right through to the tip of her fingers
causing her to-

38 minutes

your fingertips flash red
matching the colour of rage in your heart  
all you wanted was to see the words that flowed from her mind
her beautiful mind
imprinted onto your screen
so that maybe, just maybe
her soft voice would reply in your mind once more

72 minutes

a tear rolls down your cheek
your rage has melted into a puddle of water
like the thunderstorm that turns to rainfall when it can no longer handle being angry at the earth

86 minutes

realization washes over you
she doesn't care.
you can't fill her with an anger that will make steam pour from her ears
if she no longer drinks the water to fuel the steam
you cannot cut holes through her heart
when its already been sliced like Swiss cheese
you cannot tell her you love her
after she stopped counting the minutes it took you prove it

I hate when the holidays are here....
I wish you were sround since ur someone I hold dear!

I lope ur day tomorrow will be spent well...
When a simple  "hi " from u would make my day....
But who am I kidding ?
This isn't a wishing well!!!