You are in my eyes, you are in my mind
But where my love I lost let me try to find
Henceforth you are mine let me remind
It is miracle of love which makes us refined

I am all around you when you surround me
I am just a drop of water, you are a green sea
When we embrace in trance our souls feel free
Love is like a spring beauty is a humming bee

Let us be like birds let us borrow the wings
Let us play love tunes on real beauty strings
Please be more liberal understand my feelings
Life is a torture we have to take the sufferings

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2016 Golden Glow

You're too cruel
I wish you'd just tell me
That you've grown to hate me
That I'm no longer worth your time
That I'd have to live without you
From now on
Instead of the sleepless nights I spend
Trying to figure out what I did
Trying to remember where things went wrong
Trying to understand why you left
Without a word

You're too cruel
How can you disappear
Without any goodbye?

You're too cruel
How can you leave me
Looking at the places we've been
Remembering the things we've seen
Listening to the songs we've loved
With an ever-growing hole inside

You're too cruel
Aren't you going to say goodbye?

You’re all messed up inside,
You know, but they don’t
You try to fit in to their standards
Of what is and what is not acceptable

Outside, nothing but just another normal person
Inside, messed up in so many ways
You try to tell yourself that you can do it
If you wanted, you could fit in
And no one has to know

But you know it
Even if you try to hide it
You can fool them
But not yourself
In the end, you know it

You tell them you’re okay
When every night you think
Of a hundred different ways to die
And say, “I’m okay.”
And say, “This is normal.”

Because no one has to know
That when you wait for the train
You look at the tracks and think about jumping
At the last second, as the train pulls over

And you smile for them
Because they wouldn’t understand
That when you say that you are not fine
You don’t mean that you feel sick
Because the sickness you feel is not something
That can be seen on the outside

And again you say you are fine
When talking to friends
Who have long stopped caring
About whether your “I’m fine” is real
Or whether it is just another
Lie you tell them
So they can feel better about themselves

And you say, “I’m fine”
Because you don’t want to see their faces
Look at you as if you are something
That they need to fix
Just another puzzle to solve

And you say, “I’m fine”
Because you don’t want to hear them
Tell you that you are wrong
To feel pained when someone else
On the other side of the world
Is experiencing something much worse

That you do not have the right
To cry about your own sufferings
Because they are not like
The sufferings of grief-stricken, war-torn people

And you say, “I’m fine”
Because you don’t want them to feel
Like it’s their fault
Even though every night
You think about how much of a liar you are

Pretending to be normal
You tell yourself “You don’t belong with them”
And wait for someone to tell you
Wait for someone to notice
That you are not fine

You must be doing a good job
Of pretending to be normal
Since no one has asked you
No one has doubted your lie
So far

Maybe they have stopped caring
A long time ago
Maybe you have started to believe
Your own lies,
After all

How do you even begin
To let them understand
Something you don’t even understand

How do you even explain
What hurts you
And how it hurts you
When it's all inside your head
When there’s nothing but tears to show for it

You tell yourself “You’re fine”
Because when you tried to reach out
They told you to cheer up
To stop being so sad
That some people have it worse

Like it’s that simple
Like you haven’t tried
To repeat to yourself every night:
“Stop crying.”
“Some people have it worse.”

Tell yourself “I’m fine”
Maybe this time you’ll believe it too

Under the fists of steel
I wonder
If we’ll flutter
Like butterflies
Trapped under the steel thumb
Of the man who vowed to save us

Like Pavlov’s dog
Would the butterflies
Grow steel wings
Just so that they could survive?

Under the fists of steel
I wonder
If we’ll cower
Like an apprehended child
Afraid
Of a sin we did not commit

Would it be right
To call blind disobedience
Democracy?

A placebo effect
From our fears and doubts
The butterflies,
Despite the burden
Of the additional weight,
See the steel wings
As a cure

Because instead of
The scream-filled halls
We heard silence,
Ordered by the man
Who dared to say he’d save us,
And called it peace

Grinning scars of the wound,
carved in my flesh ,
Laughing long since the fall ,
By the edges of the crest,
not the burst of the rage,
nor the tears down the cheek ,
Little me down the curves
may not be what they seek ,

They are laughing they are yelling,
they are out to build a frame ,
Of the courage to let them laugh,
And moan out the pain,

From a old dent on the bump,
That's been smiling from a while ,
And trying to fade off the skin,
laughing a lopsided cry ,

I stood  alone on a path.
Looking around
the place was dark.
Confused
Quite scared
I kept on walking.
My feet was leading me
at the end of the path.
There was a room
huge and satisfying.
Entering
there were bags of golds.
People
Buildings
Animals
all were beautiful.
No signs of worries.
Seemed every thing was good.
The feeling was pleasant.
As I walked around
I heard noises.
Cries of babies
Moaning
Yells
Growls
and even the beats of a heart.
The other room-
there was another room.
I searched.
Following the noise
it lead me into a room
filled with sufferings
and questions.
People were thirst
of many things.
Observing in the room
I felt sadness.
A tear rolled down
on my cheek
then I woke up.
It was a dream.
Outside, I took a walk.
Observing
Thinking
people around me.
I knew to myself
that it was not just
a dream.
It was reality,
where people
walk on path
and find themselves
either in a room full
of beauties
or
in the other room.

*-Steph Dionisio, July 10, 2015

To the past I dwell
These past few days I haven't been feeling well
I hope you're doing fine
cause even though ever since I fell
I'm the one suffering in this one heck of a hell
I still want you to be at peace and in complete harmony

I supported you
Cause no body supported me
I believed in you
Cause no one believed in me
I cared for you
Cause none took care of me
I have loved you
Cause not a single soul gave any to me

I guess
I see myself in you
And I just want to fill those empty spaces

Because I don't want you
To feel the pain I do

What is this madness?
I don't feel like a princess
it's more like a damsel in distress

My whole being is aflame
Who is to blame

They drive me crazy
They make me go **insane

I have no choice ,but                                                                                                 To admit willingly and greatly that                                                                         My pains and my sufferings are masters that                                                        Wake me up                                                                                                                 By day and by night ...                                                                                              I have learnt lessons from my pains and from sufferings                                       Simply because I am playing with this life                                                              Around us uncaring ...                                                                                               I feel painfully ,but                                                                                                     I am totally handcuffed ...                                                                                        I am surrounded with a lot of ugly pains and with                                              A lot of rude sufferings that crack my realm                                                       Anytime,anywhere,and everywhere ..............                                                      ___________________­__