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"I'll quit tomorrow"
Say once again
I spoke those words yesterday too
Would take the easy route out of this
No shortcuts in Hell-I must go through
An excuse not to surfaces
Legitimate or not
Before I know it repeating mistakes
Hit after hit
Shot after shot
Of the places I've visited
Don't think I have ever reached one quite so low
Seeking whatever fleeting remedy
Leaves the least room to grow
You've got to wonder why I make these decisions
Swearing that "this time" I'm done
Got my back pressed against a concrete slab
Simply isn't anywhere else to run
Maybe I have gotten used to the fire
Been so long since my universe went up in flames
May be difficult to see through the smoke
At least that way there's a scapegoat to blame
I cannot claim I don't know any better
After two or three times learned getting sick
Regardless how many nights spent fighting withdrawals
Sobriety never seems to stick
Maybe I should give up on this battle
Surrender war and wave a flag of white
Let demons have their way with my soul
Accept that I'll never be alright
I am exhausted sprinting in circles
Find myself in the exact same place
Watching world spin around me so fast
While own life I only waste
Just the same old ****
layla Dec 2024
In through the nose

Straight to the brain

That chemical drip

I attempt to refrain

White of the snow

Sparkle of ice

Set it before me?

Doubt i’d think twice
cant stop thinking about how just smoking isnt cutting it again.
ro g Aug 2024
My honey isn’t a sticky cure-for-colds;
She isn't viscous, warm, glistening amber;
My multicolor baby burns---
A thin spicy liquid who coats my throat
And spreads fuel through my body
Until her hellish heat bonds with my blood.
A preview into my afterlife,
For if I can accept this addictive pain,
I will die with ease.
Shadow Mar 2024
Drown out the memories with another pile of powder
Railing line after line just to rid all the pain
Using these substances every waking hour
Geeked out my mind and feeling insane
Still it feels better then being alone
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2021
A glass of whiskey will not stop the pain
Sweet as it might taste
Broken
Too empty for *****
Would be a waste
Alcohol costs money so if I'm still going to feel the pain might as well save myself the dime and the effort to procure it
Angel Oct 2020
That glass piece,
fitting so perfectly
into my palm.
Smooth, cold, round,
holding my hand tighter than any ex-lover before.
That ginger kiss upon my lips,
sending smoke to hug my lungs.

Those IV bags dripping of happiness,
shooting euphoria through my bloodstream.

Anything to keep me from feeling numb.
Anything to prolong my inevitable fall,
back to my own personal purgatory.
RC Dec 2019
Oh but Mama, the liquor feels so good in my system
so warm in my blood
I'll bet you never thought I would've listened
but now look at me
filling your shoes, so lost in my boots
I look a little something like you would've
I believe I would reckon.

And Mama have you seen
what a mess I've let these men make of me?
Most of them built on apologies
but they mean what they say
and they like to say it when they're mean.
Oh, Mama,
you should see the things you didn't mean to teach me.

Mama? Please don't be sad,
or hurt, or guilted, or shamed,
you did the best you could with what we had to our name,
My heart's bigger than most
and my eyes are wider all the same
I'll hold it all on my shoulders
I've learned to balance peace with the pain.
You tried
To love
A girl

On the verge
Of losing
Reality

A stage
In her life
Where

All
She could
Do

Was
Write

As a
Form
Of
Psychiatry.
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