As if everything

revolves around me I see --


people flashing by.

I opened my mouth to speak, and a throatful of datura glistened on my lips, lavish and ripe,
Thrashing through me, the silken flowers coiled viciously within my windpipe,

My neck was wrung with nightshade, flesh clawed with rashes,
Swollen blotches left my skin blooming and glassy with supple gashes,

Apologies from a verdant jaw trickled out of me like a botanic river,
Yet belladonna still churned in my gut and shrilled within my liver,

Violent coughs racked my body in waves of efflorescence,
And my capillaries burst with burgeoning buds of opalescence,

Ripping my pores apart, petals tore gaping holes in my teeth,
The oral garden of poison flowered like coral fluttering in a fertile reef,
So I looked at myself in the gilded vanity, bruised and young,
Reaching into the reflection, I plucked out my own tongue.

Today, I
put a full stop
at the end
of an on-going
poem,

the sad part was
that I thought it will
bleed beyond it,

but all it asked for
as a light mentioning
in pages,

I had to refuse
so I added another
full-stop..

RAISING YOUR
VOICE
will only
lower you
in my
eyes

these wandering eyes in the light of plight,
have chosen to stay out of this fight,
if there is no harm, there is no bite,
surely none can blame one for staying out of sight,
...isn't that right?

another **** nI̲ght in
this room in which you sit with li̲ghts off delightless (no light)
anger inside begins rising as this dA̲rk-ridden mI̲nd gets
preoccupied with hA̲rd-hitting, violent
electronic beats & also senseless toxic thinking
(no means to dump it than writing)
so unacco[ɑ]mplished & spineless
like slugs, but not O̲nes you sent flying
in the course of gun-utilizing
but all you're good for, just like an alliance
of vigilantes fighting org. crI̲me rings
and being a quartet, is typing & rhyming
["good four"]
besides, 'course, like performing the type of dance wI̲despread
among Caribbean party femmes, whining
["wining"; the Carribean dance known as "wine" & "dutty wine"]
about stuff you ain't fI̲ne with
self-buried alive by the time a **** fI̲ght is
not even started; on to[ɑ]p
of that darksome life stuff, like a wa[ɑ]nton nutjo[ɑ]b
bumping broa[ɑ]ds he swives o[ɑ]ff
your mind gets hau[ɑ]nted by thou[ɑ]ghts...
["thots"]
————————————————————————————————
about this ro[ɑ]tten world rI̲fe with
injustice-multiplying ******, blinded
by their fI̲nances, license
allowing those scU̲m to do vI̲ce deeds
and the fact of being unpunished, plus mindless
web skites in chase of society's liking
all those po[ɑ]p-trap artists, lifestyle blo[ɑ]ggers, IG mo[ɑ]dels
[by "pop-trap artists", I mean both pop artists & trap artists]
whose underlying jo[ɑ]b is
keeping our minds less co[ɑ]nscious
of unjU̲st things in this world; auto[ɑ]cracy with or—
—ganized crI̲me on the rI̲se, which
means corruption is thriving; works of A̲rt simplifI̲ed, which
goes to no[ɑ]nsense sometI̲mes, yet
both are things the larger slice of the highly
evolved kind is alrI̲ght with (so what?)
who in the world where the larger slice of the highest
biolo[ɑ]gical kI̲nd seeks fun & vI̲ce needs your li̲ne kit
that, while not tip-top, just like an alpI̲ne peak
is way above plain? like one occupI̲ed with rock-climbing
who needs that if your stuff is nothing but silent
and features no boasting 'bout riches, dope, boning?
like a simplistic club trap
tune the pace of which is buck slaps
per min. (give or take) & to which a young lass
of Western CBG makes her freaking *** clap
it's a pretty dumb track
[twerk music; "buck slaps per min." - "100 beats per minute"; "CBG" - "cultural background"]
that this world's going down, like an airshI̲p that's go[ɑ]n' crash
a sentient kind, though so nutty & childish
["naughty"]
that's why the world seems like a gargantu[—]an kinder—
—garten with media posers, stU̲ck-up bad guys, &
ching-blowers buying bananas fixed ta
[that valueless piece of work presented as "art"]
[and purchased for $6.2 mil by a media-attention-seeking bozo, I'd say]
walls for the sum authorizing
to buy around 9 mil rounds of firearm ammo with the
addition of around 400 gU̲ns that I'd highly
advise utilizing on a hU̲nt spree for vI̲ce-rich
creatures, such as mo[ɑ]bsters & tyrants
[you may check a long note on these lines left under the last one]
with compliant lA̲p dogs of theirs
I'd say, just like an attic nigh bare
of belongings, thA̲t billi[—]onaire
doesn't hA̲ve much upstairs; & such highly gaga affairs
as that are despite the fact that somewhE̲re
out there conditions of living
may be regarded as a nightmare (so what?)
such finances-trifling when there are ones winding up dying
'cause of an aliment crisis (so what?)
which is mostly a result of armed co[ɑ]nflicts ignited
by marbles-lost tyrants (so what?)
how many of pro[ɑ]sperous gU̲Y̲s give
a **** regarding stuff li̲ke this
apA̲rt few ones forming this
mad world's philanthro[ɑ]pic minority? (so what?)
that's about it
yeah, let's blow funds buying fruits fO̲r six mi—
—llion go[ɑ]ddamn bucks O̲r some-thing
like that to keep satisfying that horribly
big ego, enlarging it mO̲re than it
already is, than help ones downtro[ɑ]dden or those in need
————————————————————————————————
there's no[ɑ]t enough words to e[ɪ]x—
—press how mU̲ch this **** world is sick
like a set of li̲nes on some morbid sh#t
indited quite lurridly
semantically loaded, &, rhyming-wise, swarming with
multies constructed nigh perfectly
————————————————————————————————
as if you're a stud in an **** with
an abundance of whorey chicks
f#ck all the wanton... mobs, tyrants, plus loyalists
of theirs,  inasmU̲ch as it's morally corrupted authorities
being alright with abhorrent things
with the now-said in mind, the soundest reply
to such an abnormalcy
is, as if you're 'round a few ***** with an urge to ge[ɪ]t
spanked red-hot, to strI̲ke them bods forcibly
["𝗯ooty-𝗼bsessed 𝗱egenerates", where "*****" means "prize"; "butts"]
just like the bloodthirsty re—
—gime of that Assad schmU̲ck overthrown in ju[ɪ]st
11 days (**** it, you sordid b#tch)
every physically fI̲ne-fettled pE̲rs. who gives
a ****, to whom justice is mO̲re than ju[ɪ]st
a word, should get thE̲mselves wiser, get E̲xercised ta
a level of an effective fighter; find sympathetic partners
who'd be helping with acquire—ing intel, prepping o[ɑ]ps a—
—gainst evildoers & executing them
get intel, prep your offense, get tO̲O̲led up, then
go hunting

[THE AFORE-MENTIONED NOTE]
Caliber-wise, the most common types of ammo used in the next 4 types of firearms, which are pistols, SMGs, assault rifles, & ****** rifles, are the following: 9mm; 10mm; .45 ACP; 5.56x45 NATO; 7.62x39; .308 Win/7.62x51 NATO. Here's (all time) average prices of brass rounds of the types mentioned (taken from southerndefense.com/ammo-prices): 9mm - $0.29/unit; 10mm - $0.47/unit; .45 ACP - $0.44/unit; 5.56x45 - $0.43/unit; 7.62x39 - $0.45/unit; .308 Win/7.62x51 - $0.67/unit. $6.2 mil ÷ $0.67 = (~)9.253.731 brass rounds of the .308 Win/7.62x51 type.

Let's say you have $6.2 mil. Given that a unit of brass ammo of any of the other types mentioned is cheaper than $0.67 & that ammo of those types should be purchased too, you can purchase 8.9 mil of diverse brass rounds for less than $6 mil. Keep in mind that if you purchase some or all of the rounds with steel casings, which are cheaper than brass ones, then you'd have even more than 9 mil rounds. Let's say you've purchased 8.9 mil of diverse brass rounds for $5.9 mil, then you have $300.000 left to purchase firearms.

Most firearms cost $400-$800/unit. $300.000 ÷ $800 = 375 firearms. Given that, caliber-wise, you have diverse ammo, you shouldn't purchase only $800 (or more costly) firearms. Let's say, for the sum mentioned, you've purchased around 400 firearms, which can be used by at least around 200 expert assassins in operations against mafias & agents of authoritarian regimes worldwide. Don't know about you, but to me, that's a highly better way of spending $6.2 mil than purchasing one **** banana for that sum.

Of course, to go on such a hunt spree, you should be organized way better than just having firearms & ammo. You also need other means & equipment, such as money, trustful allies, intel on targets, transportation, a place to stay, knives, firearm accessories. Just in case, I don't try to promote a criminal lifestyle. If there's any lifestyle I try to promote, it's a vigilante/evil-fighting one.

Freedom!
I scream for it,
a desperate cry against the expectations that binds me.
I’m suffocated by the facade of relationships,
the hollow cackle of deceitful souls.

I am enraged!
Fuming at the system that seeks to define me,
at the degradation that clings to my skin
like an unwanted shadow,
a constant reminder of my insignificance.

I’m weary of pursuing aspirations
that crumble to dust in my grasp,
unattainable visions that lead me
to the edge of despair.
I yearn to exist without ambition,
to dissolve into a crowd
where my identity vanishes,
where I’m a specter,
unseen, unrecognized,
lost in a realm that remains indifferent.

I long to flee this cursed present,
to leap into a tomorrow
that remains a cruel illusion,
where no one acknowledges my presence,
no one cares,
no one trails my footsteps
or feels the pain of my sorrow.

I am drained—
exhausted from the humiliation
that gnaws at my core,
tired of everything I once held dear,
weary from dreaming
only to fall and fall again.

In this furious pursuit of liberation,
I don’t merely wish to vanish;
I seek to obliterate the chains,
to shatter the delusions,
to discover a place where I can breathe,
where I can be whole,
untethered from the past,
and finally reclaim my reality
with a fury that cannot be contained.

What a nickel to spend 

At the recycling centre

But I rather keep this coin

I name it Nikki 

As I found these 

Are getting rarer and rare 

By the day

 As I find that

It makes me more 

Insecure about society