No one loves me
I'm not worth a single drop of blood

It would be wasted
If you spilt it for me

And dry your tears
For I'm the only one that has to cry

This time,
So there's no use shedding them for me

Sometimes, I wish I knew
How to disappear completely

So no one would remember my voice
Have no memories with me

I feel like life
Would merrily move along

If I were just simply
Gone
                     Gone

    Gone.

My heartbeat races
A marathon per minute
And the familiar static of
Discomfort returns,
Muscles constricting
Beneath my skin

My hands like tiny
Earthquakes shake
With each shallow
Labored breath I take,
Heat rushing to my face
Staining it with red

My mind casts illusions
On indifferent faces,
Tilting their heads
‘Til they stare
And whispering words that sting
And simmer in the air

I smile with my mouth as I
Fumble over pleasantries
But my eyes burn with tears
That are dangerously close
To spilling over and
Revealing the fear behind them.

swimming in a fishbowl's all fun and games

'till you're f l o a t i n g in the ocean

alone.

The panic crawls on my skin
Making me pay for every sin
I tear up and scream
Where has my savior been?

I do not fear the usual

Like monsters under my bed

Or flying in a plane

What makes my palms sweat

And my heart thrum

And my body shake
Instead, is quite small


And most don’t understand

The fear it causes
Knocking on a stranger’s door

Asking customer service for help 

Or making a phone call

Answering a question wrong 

Picking up a prescription

And ordering fast food
Simple tasks that anyone can do

That should be easy 


Make me squirm
Anxiety doesn’t choose obvious fears

That other people will understand

And help me with

Anxiety chooses the little things

That no one will really get

And maybe they’ll think it’s weird

So I’m left standing all alone

In a grocery store or super market

Terrified out of my mind

He just wanted to help
An arm is grabbed
Her heart skips a beat
No, not good, not good...
She can't move
Can't breathe
Inhale, exh-
Inhale, exh-
Can't breathe
She is red, airbrushed porcelain
Can't meet his eyes
Says please don't touch me
He laughs
Please don't touch me
Her body is shaking
Her mind is racing
P-please
He lets go
And she's still alone