It is 16 and a half years into the new century. We have avoided any world wars and I still use bars of soap. I will make it into the next century or die trying.

You wouldn't welsh on a bet with your ******,
And you wouldn't go to bed with the mob.
You wouldn't mess with a street gang ****,
No matter if he's crab, or slob.

You wouldn't backstab a man on death row,
Cause you know he just might **** ya.
If you've got the gumption.
You wouldn't have it long,
If you cross Evil Nurse Sheila.

You shouldn't be like the fool who tried
To play games with her heart.
She left him a crushed, empty man.
Well, he was doomed from the start.

Sheila isn't a ******,
And you'd better not let her hear
You snickering about her at the social club.
You might not have time to fear.

Sheila's makes the headlines
Each time she tries to settle down.
She plans to live a carefree life,
But soon she has to leave town.

Everything she does
Is warped, but in the name of love.
Except when she hates your guts,
When it's Sheila you've run afoul of.

If you've never heard her story.
You'd best take this advise.
If you cross her path just keep walking,
You best not look back twice.

Evil Nurse Sheila's got a heart of stone
That looks like a heart of gold.
If you are responsible for it's tarnish,
There's no hope to which you can hold.

Sheila takes no prisoners.
She don't take any guff.
If she thinks to give you a warning,
You'd better not call her bluff.

You wouldn't want to rouse her wrath,
Because her fury won't be tamed.
She's restless, bold and beautiful.
She cannot be contained.

It seems things have been quiet.
She's been off the grid some time.
If she thinks that you might suspect her,
You may be her next crime.

I've become obsolete
Sheet meat dairy petite
Little tics cake mix
Lucifer wants his wings fixed

its just that i’ve never loved a wild heart like yours before
and my favorite part -
besides your curly, bleached, dead hair -
is you in that pub with that wild eyed stare

dipping your head side to side
hand slowly moves over my shoulder
“i’m happy to see you. i’m happy to see you.”

and i walk alleyways like runway a model too drunk for her heels
and we say goodbye like actors who never made it big
soap opera goodbyes

i get in a cab and say goodbye goodbye goodbye!

Not in light of things,
nor in jest or for fun.
Just let them vent some feelings, would you?
Just let this **** be done.

Bent over the stream
of laundrywomen drench
words that flitter to and fro,
rinsing and revising spoken prose
across whispered conversations

Fading away into the piercing gaze
of an endless summer’s haze
the laundrywomen have mastered
the art of washing the soul with only water
and well-meant poems as soap
as if it were the cloth in their hands

Why is the shampoo bottle clear, but not the conditioner?

I have no trouble getting shampoo out of the bottle, but I'm thinking of ripping apart my conditioner bottle...

Hmmm

Sitting by the kitchen sink
Waiting to cleanse thy hand
Best not to take a drink
For it may taste very bland


Washing the worlds worries away
Warming is its partner accompanying
All the bubbles drifting astray
Pleasuring the hands of even a king

Whirling down the drain
Healing small wounds
Easing the hand of pain
All will be better soon

The glory of Soap is true
For all people, me the king, and you.

I hate living in this spread out town where I have to drive ten miles just to get to a bus that will drive for twenty additional ones just to get to Walgreen's to buy ******* soap to wash my mother's back because she can't wash it herself.