I wish I could expell
This wild beast from my chest,
This bottomless well,
Merciless tempest.
.
It roars and screams
For things it can't get:
Insubstantial dreams,
Uncollected debt.
.
And it isn't fair
That efforts mean naught;
When all is laid bare -
Love can't be bought.
.
I long and I ache,
At the mercy of fate,
Its give and take,
The cruelest bait.
.
The suffocating need
To not be alone,
Unrelenting greed,
Scathing to the bone.
.
It rakes its claws deep
Through my ribcage,
Makes me weep,
Helpless with rage.
.
Its loathsome fury,
Feral with want,
My judge and jury,
Inescapable haunt.
.
And it makes me think
That it's you I'm missing,
But it's really that link,
That has me reminiscing.
.
And I tried with such ardor
To find it once more,
But it's getting harder,
And my soul is sore.
.
Tired of hoping
And letdowns, in vain,
Tired of coping
With this constant pain.
.
If I were not godless
Surely I would pray
To finally convalesce,
To just get away.
.

I tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear
you cup my jaw
and bring my lips to yours
our legs intertwined
I kiss you like my life depends on it
our breath becomes one
your warm body presses against mine
then I wake up all alone
in my bed
the room dark
loneliness creeps in
sadly, it was just a dream

He said my standards were too high,
But my stepdad would drain a river dry
If I needed a drink.
He said the love I want isn’t real,
But my girls would give me their last meal, If I was hungry for it.
He told me I was too much for men,
But no'one treats me better than my best guy friend.
He said he couldn’t marry a girl like me,
But if that’s how I need to be,
For a man to really love me,
Then I would take never again.

I spend many days
trying to sum up emotions
what do they equal to?
Feeling so much, and then so little,
I secure my belt
as I sit on this ride
these contradictions
blindside, and whiplash me.
But that's just life isn't it?
Peaceful, but frightful
joyful, but lonely...
I imagine that's an emotion
most people feel.
There's a longing so strong
I can almost touch it,
but it's not here.
And because of that my eyes are blurred
unable to see the beauty around me
even if there is just me
and things don't add up.

And yes I do want someone
I want someone to hold me and
I want someone to hold
Someone to laugh with
Someone to cry

And yes I do want someone
I want someone to talk to and
I want someone to listen to
Someone to learn from
Someone to love

And yes I do want someone
I want someone to be with and
I want someone to be away from
Someone to watch smile or
Someone to watch frown

And yes I do want someone
I want someone to work and
I want someone to stay
Someone to help us
Someone to understand

And yes I do want someone

And I think I love an orange boy
But I think I like an lemon girl
Yet a little lime like me
Is a bit too citrusy
To have either of them like me back

And I think I want some lemonade
But I think I’d like some OJ
Yet my lime’s not sweet it’s sour
So hour after hour
They just leave me alone to sleep

Dear Bass Clarinet,

I have no partner
To show affection for,
But deep in my core
I know
For sure
Love comes from the music
Our soul makes,
And that's is what
A bass clarinet is for.

Embrace me into every sharp
Like angels playing harp
My lips are kissed by the reed
And every note articulated
Leaves me in need.

Oh Bass Clarinet
I don't need a boy
To feel the joy
Your sound is enough
To make me feel loved.

I have no one to show me off
Nobody to take me on trips

No parents to introduce me to
Nobody to dote on me

No one to kiss my forehead when I'm down
Nobody to build my own life with

I'm tired of pleasuring myself
Of not having a protective hand on the small of my back

No touch that sends electricity coursing through my body

Nobody to love me truly
For who I am
Deep from their heart
Seeing past my flaws

So far I try
to be the true love for my own self

I remind myself
that being single
is a privilege

Or is that just a lie
that we tell ourselves
to cope?