A warped mirror perhaps?
My face always twisted,
always grimacing behind a dry beam.
Two Tylenols are never enough.

Ella.
A lump caught in my throat.  
Her scent walks by,
uninvited, yet welcomed.

A blurred outline,
a cutout blocking the light.
I yearn to sweat nightmares
out of my pores.

At night, her voice still fogs
the thick wall of silence—
muffled.
“Are you listening?”
Obscured echoes stir
down the pit of this endless night.

Tulips grow somewhere
on the side of the bed,
where it whirrs and beeps,
and reeks of alcohol.  
But the night is ever still,
unperturbed, as it sleeps in my arms.

Murmurs drift like dust motes,
caught in a sunbeam—

Ella.
I chase shadows of her laughter,
fading out against gushing white noise.  
Fingers twitch to speak,
for words are somehow
lost in static.

The walls hum a song,
croaking with hurt it sounds—
“Stay with me,” it pleads,
but my indifference swallows
the words.

In the spaces between breaths,
I linger suspended.
Ella might be digging me out.

Beneath the sky
So wide and blue
Dreams take flight
Both old and new
In quiet moments
Whispers flow
Where only the
Heart and stars
Will know
Loving you,
A silent ache
A path I know
I shouldn't take
The lines are drawn
The rules are clear
Yet I still wish you were here
A heart that beats
But cannot speak
Longing for a love it
Cannot seek
So I will keep
This flame inside
A secret that the
Stars will hide...

I don't care enough about me
Or you
Or why the world spins
I can't even sleep
And somehow you think
That I'm hanging
Onto your every word
You are my muse
And I'm a flighty bird
With no direction
And listen
I understand
You love the attention
The gazing
The movie star treatment
And inspiration
Is hard to come by
So take what you need
I'll gladly concede
But leave me
Out of your dreams
I must be
Out of my mind
No that's you
I'm alright

In the stillness of the night,
Where shadows blend and dreams take flight,
A whisper soft, a breath of air,
Full silence falls, and we disappear.

The world stands hushed, a velvet veil,
As stars recount their ancient tale.
No rustle stirs, no footstep near,
In full silence, we disappear.

The moonlight casts a silver sheen,
On memories of what has been.
We float, unseen, in atmospheres,
Of full silence, and disappear.

In this quiet, hearts find peace,
All worries, fears, and doubts release.
Embraced by night, without a tear,
We seek full silence, and disappear.

Beyond the realms of sight and sound,
In quietude, our souls unbound,
We journey where there's naught to fear,
In full silence, we disappear.

I don't know when you will be mine,
Or when you will be with someone else.
But in my heart, I love you,
Yet my mind tells me that it's unrequited.

I stand on the precipice of my feelings,
Torn between the desire to confess
And the fear of rejection.
The words I long to say
Are trapped in the corridors of my heart,
Echoing in the silence of my solitude.

Every time I see you,
My heart beats a symphony of hope and despair,
A melody only I can hear.
I cherish the moments, the fleeting glances,
The smiles that light up my world,
Yet leave me yearning for more.

My mind, ever practical, warns me,
"This love is unreturned, unspoken, and unfulfilled."
But my heart, filled with passion and dreams,
Whispers, "Hold on, perhaps one day..."

I watch as you walk away,
Hand in hand with fate,
While I remain in the shadows,
Bound by the chains of my unvoiced love.

I dream of the day I can tell you,
The day my courage overcomes my fear,
But until then, I live in this silent reverie,
Loving you from afar,
A love that gives me strength and breaks me all at once.

For now, my love remains a secret,
A beautiful yet painful secret.
I love you yet, I can't tell you.
And so, I continue to wait,
Hoping that one day, you might see me,
And hear the unspoken words of my heart.