Where have you been?
Where are you going?
We suffer day in and day out,
Without understanding or knowing.
Explain to me where you've been,
You'll say, what you've done,
And how proud you are,
And it is, but doesn't seem to be so bizzare.
We are so shallow with each other,
We know nothing about our friends,
We share our deepest problems,
Hoping that maybe they can solve them.
But they don't know our past,
They don't really know who we are,
So how are they to help us?
And why do we, in them, put all our trust?
We are confusing beings,
Creatures of our own
Problem creating, attention seekers,
Without reason, we're emotional believers.

You kept me entombed in a coffin of thought
Never free cockroaches of doubt crawled
Around my chained thoughts.

The nails rough on my mind, jaggedly etching
oxidized stagnation of my embalmed understanding.
Why would you keep me in the dark.

I am solitary in this shallow wash of waning moments
Could I just crawl in to this sea of disbelief and
Drown slowly in my entombed darkened thoughts.

My wrist is laid
down
alone
upon a table
large well formed feet
visible beneath the glass sheet
that's chilling to the skin
blood recedes from distant hand
until it gathers in a puddle
between the ulna and radius
a bruise of vague percussions
spreading up my little metacarpal
as it smashes vainly upon resistant stable
trying to steady the dancing toes beneath
a barrier so clear
the dust from last week's walk from work
are seen around a sole
that won't decide
where it wants to go
or if going can be defined
while blurred blue engulfs the cloudy witness
to my pointless movements
ontop
beneath
behind
the glass table

Just an odinary girl
with an extraordinary heart
i cannot keep quiet when i know
that my heart is bleeding.
I cannot keep quiet anymore
and i know it that it attracts my enemies.

I wouldnt fear to be hated
neither to lose a friend
lonely did i come
and lonely will i depart
i know they throw curses
but how far will they get through
that solid heart.

I used to have a smile
that glowed in the dark
for it overcomed the shadowed night
but now all is hallow
and i feel my heart sinking
into the shallow seas

i know they throw curses
but i am still willing to forgive
even though i would never smile
anymore
i feel sorry for you
because you dont know
how far pain cant shot through my heart anymore

I sit here watching
red lips sipping wine
cheeks  flushed vibrant.

Avoiding lingering eyes
I tried to be
invisible.

I feel out of place
my jeans tight
while these women cling to
cheap dresses.

Running my hands through
my thick dark hair
his eyes catch mine.

I wonder if my
jet black lashes can avoid
anymore tears.

Perhaps his lips
will brush mine
and his weight will
press upon me.

I'll swallow shallow impulse
taking intimacy just to
reek of regret in the morning.

This heart of ice is multifaceted.
This stone cold ice is dense but weeps.
There is a shallow trigger that radiates
Shy a wade from me; volcanoes are deep.

She sits in the corner
Laptop splayed open
Searching
Searching for reasons to live
Maybe someone to love
A moment to smile for

Going through latest social trends
Sifting among piles of plastic smiles
And bright blue hash tags
Desperately looking for something
Someone genuine
A quote perhaps to believe in
A link on happiness maybe
To follow

All she receives though
Is disappointment
Immersed in a world obsessed
With shallowness
She realizes that all she needs
Everything she searches for
Is right here
Inside her soul it resides
The will, the strength, the love to survive.