my lotus flower buds with an ******* type of pleasure,
oh, I never have to reassure her,
her eyes gleam with soo much desire,

love is not once but made twice with me,
I don't use words,
I'm brimming with ****** attraction,

The general population call this a taboo,
so I limit this to only a small fraction,
creativity swims in me like the Pisces,
and will always be enticing,

but remember to hold the sacral chakra.

What she once wore
now lays forgotten on the floor.
Behind lock doors
we can let our lust pour.

Creature of delight
comes alive at night.

Make them scream and moan
but never call one of them home.

He caressed her and touched her

This wasn’t right

Who was this man she thought was her father

This man that crossed boundaries

Touching a daughter no way a father ever should

Taking it to places so far she can’t turn back time

He leaves her lying there

But this wasn’t the first time

She curls in ball

Wishing it were a sink hole

So far down to just fade and disappear

She closes her eyes

Dying on the inside

Wishing she could deny to herself

What just happened

For as long as I can remember, I've always had this void in my life. It's this empty feeling deep deep down inside of me and no matter how hard I try I cant quite seem to shake it, overconsuming, eating away at me, I can have happy moments when everything seems to be going great, the feelings of not being okay comes back like a head on collision.

Theres a constant nag deep down to fill this empty void, anything to make it all better. Trying from hobbies, family, friends, material stuff and just nothing. It's not simple or an easy matter to explain, especially when you get to a point when numbing it out seems to be the better option from having such a hard past, from abuse to ****** trauma.

So badly I long for true happiness, no worries. I desperately long for what I see around me, to have not a care in the world. Instead I'm in this dark hole and I cant find my way out, filled with horror, dark, and scary. So consumed with feeling crazy.

I tend to put on this act like I'm so happy and I have the perfect life, when in reality that's just not the case. I lash out and I dont mean to.

God I just want so badly to be okay. To have never gone through the things I have, instead here I am. Lost in a spiral out of control, a ride I cant get off.

One day I will look back and it will just be a memory. Just a part of my past and I can finally say no longer I'm not okay.

I don't expect them to sympathize 
I know how twisted it sounds
yet for me
it was my savior 
from the start

From the beginning 
of when I lost myself
when he took me away from myself
when I had nothing else to let go 
or nothing else to willing give away

He broke me
every time I saw him
I lost another part of myself
just when I thought 
he'd already taken everything I had away

This ongoing struggle will forever remain
but as humans
we all suffer
and gradually
we thrive from it
it slowly builds up
a stronger sense of self
using the pain
to create a brighter future

i still taste your sticky sweet nectar on
my lips from the time you released your
seed onto my perfect *******,
then you traced your fingertips onto
my precious flower and tasted my sweet honey, watching  it drip from your fingertips
as you plastered your mark into my sweet flower--
my breathing becoming shallow from the sensations, thoughts scattered , close to the threshold before a beautiful release of ecstasy .
A perfect deflowering carved into my memory.