(true story..)

Ah ****, Babe.
(Same message, copy/pasted..
and then sent to a whole different part of me;)
((but you and I both know it is all still part of the whole))

      so here goes..

I was built to run on  all eight cylinders.  8.
Within this world, more often than not,
I am left with no choice but to run on 3.. or 4..
Not my initial choice,  but due to what little
of someone that they (most everyone) present to me
they only bring spark to the measly three or four;

But every.. uh..  few once in a while(s)..
(Get it?)


Who you are, sparks all 8 within me,
and within that depth of interaction (connection)
you yourself (I am sure of it) would expect (hope for)
no less than all 8 from me..

(Let me get this out as subtlety as I can..)

   But suddenly, dear friend..
you want to *****-slap me down  into
a small wooden box that has only room

     for 2.. or 3..

((along with little ol 'freshly-emasculated("eunicated"?)) , me

Problem is.. what am I to do with those very potent
    and powerful last 5.. or 6?
Cause I swear you're the one that could be fully capable
of requiring from me, all 8.

I could swear you're that one.. At least I thought you were.
    hint// (I know you are..)
Hmmm.   You want me to fall asleep?
I have a bed for that.

3  bore the **** out of me.. be it through politics..
or even the everyday, Mundane. .
or whatever the mother-****.
I have not watched TV or seen a commercial in over 20 years.
Trump was prez for over 3 years before I even saw his wife.
It was at a Subway, and I asked a friend,

    "***.. who in the m-**** is that?"

Everyone got a good laugh.
Not as hard as me, because I never even heard
that Howdy-doody ******* Obama's voice  the whole time
  he was president.
Not that I care..  or like..   or don't like..

    but it is simple as this--

The world is going to turn as it sees fit.
The Beast will achieve its all-consuming end..
which is to dilute  into powerlessness,
(void of all rightfully-attainable Glory)
each and every soul-bearing  human
that it can possibly get its Rat-claws  in to.
You have people in your life that add to you
and not take away (steal from you),   Life?

      You don't need me.

You are all things Beautiful that I say,
but  **** your comfy,
palatable little box you want to zip me in to, Love.
You dream of a world filled with all 8,
but carve from it the emptiness of a measly 3.

(I love you, but have a super ****** way of showing it.)
We only live once in this body we have,
and at the end of our time here, the 'husk' falls off.

My whole reason for being down here is to
somehow get out into the light of day
the truth about who we truly are.

People want to focus on the husk?

We were built solely to Unfold into the Glory that awaits us..
(The Glory that is already in us, though in most.. still dimly-lit)
Because when the husk falls off.. well Kid..
All there is in Eternity..   is Relationship.

      The more Hearth-lit, one's Glory
      the greater the capacity for Relationship,
      which is all we will have left  at the end of all things.

   Cool part is..
the very Nature of Love Itself..  absolutely Craves it.

..Craves it, sweet Angel.
You are tremendously Gifted.. but sadly, we (you and I) are done.
I'm a ****.. I know.
I would much rather kiss you than ever hurt you.
I will be there for those (she) who needs me
until she stands up and truly beats my ***
for being the person that I am.

      She still needs me.
      So that is what I will do.

btw.. you are by far, one of the best I've ever seen.
Be glad that the world doesn't rotate around me

   .. or we would all be ******.
   Kisses to you, Sweet one. xoxox

My three gold wedding rings sink deeper
into my 30-years-on skin.

I've seen the youtube tricks
for removing them with wrapped floss,

but I think I'd rather sever
each of them at the final decree,

otherwise I'll need to dispose
of three perfectly good gold rings.

And that seems a waste.

How does it feel to be stabbed
Not in the back, but in the chest
Just to make those wretched feelings rest
Stubborness is what caused your mess

You, holder of the sin of lust
Not because of dark conjugation
But wanting for deep and trusted affection
Perish in your despair of wanting it as a must

As your persistence deepens and continue through
The severance of bonds continue, you harvest what you sow
It's your fault anyway, weep down in sorrow
Best leave it be for a better tomorrow

You, the one pursued by this person
Has your thoughts of him worsen
Has his determination, became his execution
Then, admit with volition and deliver him condemnation

Meri zindagi aaj udas hai,
Ye Khushi ke pal bhi mujhse nirash hai,
Tut jate hain wo har sapne,
Jab tutata kisi ka vishwas hai,
Jab tutata kisi ka vishwas hai....

wo khile Phul aaj murjha gye hain tujhe yaad kar,
Kyon ojhal ** gye ** tum in aankhon me aansoo bhar,
Sisak-sisak ke puchh raha hai ye dil mera,
Kyon juda ** gye wo meri hansi bankar,
Meri hansi bankar...

Us andheri raat ko bhi teri raushani ka intejar hai,
Tujhe dekhne ke liye mera dil bhi beqarar hai,
Na chhup jana un ghane badalon me,
Ye sochkar ki meri muskurahat kisi ke liye khash hai,
Kisi ke liye khash hai...

Ban jaoo teri aansoo
teri aankhon me hi mera wash **,
Khushi ** ya ** gam,
Har waqt har pal tujhe mera saath **,
Es pal ko bhi us pal ki lagi aas hai,
Meri zindagi aaj udas hai,
meri zindagi aaj udas hai..

Kaun si mujhse khata ** *** ,
Bata do sanam
kyon mujhse khafa ** ***,
Maine to dil me basaya tujhe bhagwan ki
tarah,
Batado sanam
kyon mujhse juda ** ***,


Pyar to samundar hain ,
kaha dhundu tujhe,
Nazane kab aur kis mor par milogi mujhe ,
Mere aankhon me aansoo dekar,
Mere dil ko ek saza de ***,
Batado sanam
mujhse kyon juda ** ***,


Teri muskurahat meri dil ki khushi thi,
teri aansoo mere dil ka dard,
ab to teri yaadein meri dard ki dwa ban ***,
Batado sanam
mujhse kyon juda ** ***,


mere har ek baaton me bas tum hi tum,
mere khayalon me bhi bas tum hi tum ,
Najane kyon meri zindagi mujhse etni dur
chali ***,
batado sanam
mujhse kyon juda ** ***,
mujhse kyon juda ** ***. ..?

What am I
if not a longing soul

Knowing where there's
life, fire, worship, lust
and I may not have any of
It

You see,
I am in
what all too few know
but many should learn,
that which is called
a brain reboot

It means
the grestest joy of the world
simply can't be had
by me for a spell

"It's Ok,"
I tell mysrlf.
"Your time shall come"
and then I realize
It
already did