i shudder to heed
the animal i’ve become:
once a wolf untamed;
now a lost puppy,
squealing for his mum.

a saintly pelican, i thought meself -
back in the day,
with a bill so big as
my heart would weigh;  
now, but a vulture -
feeding on the remains
of unfortunate cows:
with a crooked bill, i prey.

a scorpion’s sting
could go in vain
on skin - like a crocodile’s -
that’s proof of pain.  
a chicken on the run? -
or the bloodhound
that caught her?  
nah -
more like a pig for slaughter.

a rattlesnake in hiding
with its venom depleted,
i long to emerge a phoenix:
find my mission, then complete it.
purge meself of the worm:
eat it - like a songbird, mistreated;
anyway -
i should get off my high horse;
the parasite’s more...
deep-seated.

A row of tabs with titles in hiding,
Each one a witness to the weight of today
The clock ticks louder, each second sharp,
Echoing the resolve she’s forced to obey
When did life slip into this solemn tone?

Her hand hovers, drawn to a magazine,
Its cover untouched, still crisp and clean
She peels it open, and there it is—
The faint smell of paper, a balm for her soul.

Not pages of profit or the season’s couture,
But the world of Bobo, the blue rabbit and friends
Bright illustrations, laughter tucked in each corner,
A refuge from journals and theories that age her too soon.

Here, she remembers a simpler time,
A decade past, when her world felt lighter
This magazine, still standing, still waiting,
The same one that sparked her love for the written word.

She smiles,
Because even amidst the seriousness,
A pause is enough to bring her home.

a thousand miseries,
and countless trials.
****** footprints tracking bygone miles.
for all the times you traded a smile;
it’ll all be worth it,
after a while.  

spend some time with the guy in the mirror
you both have come a long way together
sure, he’s got a different hairstyle;
give it time - it grows on you,
after a while.

find a way to live through the pain -
like you’re on a burning train,
headed for The Elysian Fields,
where psalms of valor forever reign.  

soon, you’ll be on the other side:
grateful for the moment you died,
so you could feast with the Gods,
if only for a while -
then back to grind,
after a while.

It is only that I have seen the real pain poisoning man’s mouth, the burdens wandering, the day they remember speech for the greeting of the sun. It is when they dream that they get what they want, yet all so often the battle creeps in to wake them, to remind them to run. Eyes wide open with mouths sewn shut.

Speak to me my love, with your eyes instead, lest the soul weigh down the combustion within your butterfly heart, whisper notions and I will understand each uttering phrase… for you and I, know not separation, we are family, friends, lovers… we are Gods my love.

So in the midst of the current, lay on my hand, because for you I will never forget how to fly, even without wings or gusts to guide me. For you, I will know, so that when the time comes to halt, I shalt share my meta with you.

I can be the mundane muse that trickles the innate to whisper back into your ear, because even with mouths sewn shut, this song has never been sung so beautifully and Akasha has never been so full.

And all you did, was open your eyes.

All I did, was wander.

Loneliness to me does not have a pure definition.

It’s knowing that no one can hold onto me for I cannot hold myself long enough to feel the freedom of life, it’s being in the company of the stable whilst feeling like an unsteady lifeline on mute.

It’s abandonment before being abandoned, it’s having left myself before I met myself, for I have never truly become.

It’s alienation and alienating, both within and without, it’s hiding whilst shining and fading whilst visible.

It's exposed shadowed numbness while your world finds your heartbeat, its death while breathing.

It's unlovable daunting trauma, and now… it’s me, the unwavering indescribable description of a rigid self. Me.

hello?
you there…?
i can’t hear you!
we haven’t talked in a while, it’s true.
thought i’d remind you - the rent is due.
maybe… have a shower, or two?

i wanted to -
let you -
know that i haven’t given up on you.
though i’ll admit, it took a lot of work -
to finally get through to you.

it was brave what you did,
and stupid at the same time;
thinking you could make the climb,
holding on to your gratuitous rhymes.

it takes a while to see what's wrong
with all the ways you've known all along;
it never hurts to take a little detour -
ask for help, when you're not too sure.

don’t be too ******* yourself,
take it easy.
not everyone will see, or get,
what you see.
move around -
pick up a book -
or better, a blank page.
let your purpose take the center stage.

just one thing before i go,
perhaps, it’s good to let a few things go.  
anyway,
thought you could use some counseling.
come to think of it,
were you even listening?
hello?
you there…?

I'm a key without a cute or handy keychain.
Just a key.
I open doors for many,
but not for myself.
I'm a key without a lanyard.
I'm loose and easy to lose.
Just a key.
I'm a key without another key next to me.
No keychain or lanyard to share.
Just a key.

I lose my shape, shattered
In turmoil, deeply battered
Beneath my veil, head bowed and tattered.

I lose my way, defeated
In steps that forget to plead,
In anger blind to its misdeeds.

O Master of the Universe,
I am lost,
Forgotten the path of obedience.

O Ruler of the Horizon,
At Your door, I knock in submission,
To embrace the light of devotion.

they say its easier said than done.
i say, not poetry.
it's easier done than said.