This is stupid.
Just breathe.

This is stupid.
Just smile.

This is stupid.
But I cannot fight it off.
This feeling of hatred and disgust.

This is stupid.
But I avoid mirrors.
Because the red marks are too much to handle.
I can't look at my body the way you do.
Do you embrace me because of my "beauty" or is it your pity?

This is stupid.
But I cannot stop myself from crying.

This is stupid.
Becuase I know we are all worthy of love and respect.
I know we all deserve clothes that fit our own body.
I know that fat and beautiful do not exist separately.
But I cannot shake the feeling that I am the exception.
So ******* Stupid

No matter what,we all are going to mess up.

I am worthy.
I am worthy,
of the smile that departs from my lips in the mirror every morning.
I am worthy,
of feeling fulfilled and confident in this body.
I am worthy,
of affection, gratitude, and respect.
I am worthy,
of this, and so much more.

I will always be scared.
I cannot say that
I have always been nervous
Although
Now I know
This is just how I am.
I have nobody.
It would be wrong to say
Someone would care,
If I destroyed myself again with my thoughts
I am just a worthless wreck
Nobody can convince me that
I am a warrior.

-
Hey you
Did anyone ever tell you you're beautiful?
With all your flaws and mistakes
Your imperfections is what makes you great
Your inner beauty is something they can't take
-
Hey you, yes you
Did anyone ever tell you that you're cool
Don't let anybody make you feel like a fool
I know this world can be cruel
Don't let them get to you
Believe in yourself
That's the number one rule
-
I know how it feels to be degraded
The judgment was weighing heavy on me
I started getting faded
I couldn't look at myself in the mirror
All I saw was what the world had concluded
I'm still struggling to let go of that illusion
-
Lowkie ©

"Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now, take what's left and live it properly. What doesn't transmit light creates its own darkness." –Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

that
   little girl
who wanted freedom
   to see and do
      to be
wanted a voice
   to speak
      to be heard with
who wanted to know
   everything
      to fold into her mind
who wanted to be something
   to be worth something
      to be everything
she thought it would be easy, and it is not
but for her
   that little girl
for all she lost on the long and weary road
woman, you go make a name
for yourself.

You don’t need validation.
You have already received it
through the simple act of being born
the beautiful, imperfect creature that you are.

She was planted
just as the rest

"Why do I look different?"

She liked her tea,
but wanted company,
so she painted herself pink

She laughed at inside jokes
she was outside of,
nodded at words
she didn't know,
even said some of her own

"Please no one see I'm not the same"

She waited until next spring
every summer,
but every year,
had to paint herself pink

"I'm surely broken"
she believed
for too many years

"...to find the right seed"
"...just a late bloomer"
she heard

Next spring,
she learned her name

Parade tulip
in a field
of cherry blossom trees

"Is there somewhere
a someone
who will love me"
she wondered from time to time

but she still drank her tea,
and stopped painting herself pink