You know when you feel alone
You always feeling down
Figuring how to change that frown
Putting a smile on that face
Knowing its fake
When others are happy about their self
You feel like you wanna drown
Days pass with a smile
You know your not the smile you are the pass
Pass your emotions by like its some trash
Self-esteem is low, feeling like things are going slow
Not even knowing how to feel happy
Happy is just a word to me
Looking in that mirror, thinking you got some figure
You know your lying when you somehow end up crying
No, it's not because I'm emotional many people think
People see me as pretty, but am I really
I share my advice, to be nice
I help people, that's who I am
It's funny because using my advice is the last thing I try to do
You gotta know how to love you!

You have walked by my side
From the time I was a child
You are a beauty
Dark and ugly
Just like me
You are suppression
You are fear
You scream out loud
Everything I don't want to hear
My little light
Is shrouded by you
Take my tiny hand
We'll walk this life together
A knowing nod to you
As I stare in the mirror
Little Demon
You are mine
Sit on my shoulder
Til the day I die.

You have come this far.
Been to the depths of hell and came back with scars but left your mark on its back, neck and in between its thighs.

You have been to heaven and brought heaven to some people. You have handed and thanked them in gold or if truly worthy pieces of yourself.

A piece for every fight.
A scar for every battle won.
A memory for every year that you’ve made it through.

As you embark on this new path I pray peace finds you.
May joy knock on your door like a long lost friend.
And hope meet you at your darkest hour.
If not, what’s one more fight to a warrior like you?

I know I'll
be happy.
If not today,
someday.

Please teach me how I could unlove
Please teach me how I walk away from someone who claimed I was the candle in their life meanwhile they were my sun
Teach me how to love a new person the way I loved you
Please teach me how to get rid of the 2 am thoughts of you
Please teach me how to forget the songs we dedicated to each other
but most importantly Teach me how I could love my self
because I was too busy loving you

Self love will always be
And will always be a struggle
It's the constant acceptance
Of you lacking, of your own flaws
It's the dissonance between
Settling for what's in store or
Trying to see what's for more

Self love is about
Answering the screams you hear
Inside your head once everything
Has settled and calmed

Self love is about
Addressing your fears, of what is
Keeping you awake at night

Self love is about
Letting your tears fall, letting your
Emotions take over every while
For self love is not about sparkles
For it is dark, painful, and tiring

It's hard, isn't it

i have my mother's skin
freckled and fair
my dad's nose
sloped and refined
my grandad's curiosity
vibrant and pestering
and my grandmother's voice
poetically overflowing

i have my mother's emotions
capricious and antagonistic
my dad's perfectionism
bleek and disciplined
my grandad's stubbornness
punctuated and impervious
and my grandmother's faith
gentle and unfailing

i am what i am
i am who i am
because they have raised me

I am not fat
So please
Stop
Thinking It
I am beautiful
I am fit
I am so loved
More
Than I could even know
Could ever
Comprehend
At the foot of the cross
My soul
Feels the weight of a fraction
Of its worth.
A fraction
Is all I
Know, Because I cannot
Comprehend
The rest
May I rest
In you
At the foot of
The cross.
Think of this

I have loved
Well
I have been kind
I know happiness
Even joy
I am not fat
But my life holds
So much weight
Could never
Comprehend the weight
Of the rolls
Of ocean tides
Ripples far
and wide
The length of His
Love
Tides made when I give
His light
Kindness
The measurements
Of my steps

The folds of my flesh
Mimicking
The mountain range
Because He made me strong
and wonderfully smart
and vulnerable heart
and soul of gold
Bits and pieces of me kind
and in my mind
and body
He is there
Weighing me
Down
Pressing onto the scale
He is weighing me
Down
Holding me
Heart, mind, soul
Weight
So much, heavy
Love you’re heavy
Filled out
Pregnant, no
Obease
With His love
Kindness
Generosity
Grace
You are my
Love. He is
my kindness
He is
My generosity
Overflowing between every fold
Roll
More
each year
Growing
Multiplying in
Love
Generosity
Kindness
This is my weight.