I don't want to be perfect
What an incorrect prospect
I like my defect
At least I'm not an object

My eyes do not resemble suns
My words are more like guns
Aimed at your sons
I've only just begun

My hair is not soft and fine
You simply cannot define
Or enshrine
Standby and do not whine

My thoughts are not innocent and pure
Nothing is secure
But I am certainly not your saviour
My behaviour brings danger
I am not your entertainer

My hands are not are not flowers
I have different powers
Which devours and towers
Over your mouth as he cowers

Nature is not just beautiful
And neither am I
How dare you belittle it with unsuitable lies
Save your goodbyes
I am not your demise, that would be unwise
Do you not realise I have a disguise?

I am not  perfect
Yet you could never recreate and resurrect my imperfections
Save your affections
I need to find my own directions, away from your infectious reflections

Why am I thinking of you,
in these moments.
Knowing, there is no chance.
smitten.
Infatuated.
dying for your attention.

Maybe if I dress up.
Curl my Hair.
Make up my face.
wear a dress to hug all of my curves.

Maybe if you look at me
and only see
the ****** thoughts
That have consumed me
for so long.

maybe,
you'll push me into
that wall
and slam your body into mine

Maybe the heat between our bodies
will be unbearable
and you'll finally
succumb to me.

or maybe,
I will show up in sweats,
with my hair thrown up,
and I'll cry on your bed
while you cook me some
Comfort foods.

and everything will
be like it always is.
While you think
I am still crying over him,
and not you.

While I’m terribly depressed in this dark silent room.
Somehow this aggression turns into an even deeper depression.
Now I have so many emotions that I cannot explain ….why I suffer in all this hate and pain.
Because I know in the morning I will regain… the dark feelings I have ….and the strain..  
Numbers, figures flying across my head, because I don’t know who I’m supposed  to be……I really don’t wanna be this type of me….
They tell me to get over it… tomorrow will be a better day…. To be honest… I just wanna sit on the dock of the bay.. because my days feel like years and my years feel like eternity….
What am I supposed to do… sit here in my jealousy???
Jealous of those that wake up in the morning.. look in the mirror and love what they see
That has someone to hold..has someone to love…has someone to say your beautiful in every way…

  These days turned into hours….hours turned in to minutes
I woke up that day feeling refreshed. ….I was so blessed that I found the address of the doors of happiness
This was the end….
I can finally walk in to that place we call a world, leaving the extra baggage behind.
I am not designed to fit your checklist of what a “women” is supposed to look like…
KEEP YOUR UNKIND WORDS!!!I’ve found my peace of mind.. If you can’t look pass looks then…. You’re clearly blind!
-Raeven Leigh Winter-