Me.
No more hesitation,
I do what's best for me.
That's the end of the equation.

No longer will I be a supporting lead.
I'll become the main character in my life,
and finally start to see.
And just stop giving you the knife.

Broken jaw

Limp wrists 

Why am I pretending to be weak?

It's the easy way out

My substances walk themselves in

Now there's no crutch left to lean on 

Excuses as empty as my stomach 

I think it's time to feast  

I've preyed on those who couldn't speak

And learned to run without feet

So why is this temporary challenge 

My ultimate defeat 

Been playing victim long enough 

That ***** can take a seat

I'll pull the chair from underneath

And hope he falls into the deep

No reflection in the mirror

Just what's left, hollow as ever

Anything that might be missing

Is a piece I took

With no plan to replace

Self destruction comes too natural

I don't want to die

But that doesn't mean I want to live

The distiction between the two is action

Comeback season is now in session

In a forest,
a young girl and
a man
stroll,
taking in the beauty of nature.

Atop a fallen tree,
they share a tender kiss
and touch,
a moment sweet and meant to be savoured.

She had never felt
so loved and
he was just
happy
to corrupt her innocence.

He was too old
and she too young,
so when she had her doubts,
He took the opportunity to prey on
another
more vulnerable
victim.

I just started a load of laundry
In hopes that it will wash away
The discomfort around expression
From my identity.
I imagine little people
As they run up and down
My pant legs
My shirt sleeves
My bra straps
Steadily scrubbing the internal
Abuse from the fabric.
They peel off the fine layers
Of self hatred and grime
Only to leave behind a shell
For my body to fill once more.

And, with no doubt,
I will climb from bed tomorrow
To don these scraps and
They will become one with me again.
My self doubt
and insecurities will
Stain my shirt pits
and my pant cuffs.
The devil raging inside me will,
More than likely,
***** my underwear
Leaving me in my own filth
Until I find time again
To do the laundry.

Darkness,
I remember how I led your way
into my life,
Allowing you to make me blind;

I regretted but I also repeated
again and again,

Like a cyclic process,
You became a part of my life,
With trifling causes;

You made me hope
for a light
to save myself;

And while waiting,
I realized that the light I'm hoping for
is deep inside me;

Buried, forgotten and it was so long
That I thought it was rotten
Just like you;

if you hate
𝘣𝘳𝘶𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘴,
𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴
and 𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘴,
then you are
not ready
to have 𝘱𝘦𝘵𝘴
in your life

lighten the load
of your luggage
of insecurities