There was someone talking to me
But I can't see them
I just hear them
I listen to their criticism
their hatred
I should listen to them....
For them...
For me..
A better me

Silly boy, you weren't ready for this.
You hadn't studied for it.
Love is joy, you never felt it like that.
Now it's your weapon.

How is this for you?
Does it help?
Will this pain bring you to work harder?
ть в порядке?

Angels watch your misguided adventure.
They're laughing at you.
God whispers into your ear.
Or is he the devil?

People avoid your crooked walk.
Loved ones, already cursed with your touch.
She got away, and is still cursed.
You divide .

How long will the wind guide you.
Devoid of free will.
**** them all.
Curse them with your touch.

Forever within your heart.
Poison your mind with doubt.
Silly boy, you gave up choice already.
Now you're on a road to ******.

Angels lower their heads in disappointment.
Devils look away.
Just another obsession.
I'm about to turn to dust.

It’s been a while, but I’ve figured out
Why my life seems so different now.
Working on being your new fixation
In a costume of my own creation.

I know I’m not who I used to be,
I’m used to being shut down,
Silenced,
Ooh, their words were violent,
And I ended up someone I’m not sure I want to be.

But that doesn’t matter anymore…

‘Cause I’d do anything you want,
Be the girl of your dreams, too.
I’d say the things you’d like to hear,
And change my looks, my heart for you.

I know it’s sad and reeks of desperation,
Yeah it’s tragic, but it’s true…
Honey, if you would just love me,
Maybe I could love me too.

Baby could you kiss me in the moonlight,
And see the stars in my eyes,
And let me take the pain away.
All those thoughts you’ve had today -
They don’t mean anything
As long as I’m around.

Please, just use me like I’m using you.
My heart tells me it’s choosing you,
And all these stupid things I do
Only promise me that I’ll be losing you.

And I know I’m simply sad and eighteen,
And life has much more planned for me.
What’s that look supposed to mean?
We used to speak so candidly.

And now I know you want to leave me…

But I’d do anything you want,
Be the girl of your dreams, too.
I’d say the things you’d like to hear,
And change my whole ******* self for you.

I know it’s so very sad and desperate,
Yeah it’s tragic, but it’s true…
Darling, if you would just love me,
Then maybe I could love me too.

Can you please just ******* love me,
So that I can love me too?

People often say that the reason for art is to make this lonely world a little less so.
Summers are always lonely.
The sun gleams down in its bright, intimidating gaze
No! Don't expect me to have fun
I'm not being called to do any of the sort
I'll open the shade, and put out a rug
Just for a touch of color
But that means nothing anymore. No to me.
Not in my ever-hazing shades of dullness
All paling--impaling everything I live for
The stupid things I value
In a meaningless collage

But oh! You said I am loved.
Why don't you sample this world I give you now
And we'll see how long your selfless chivalry can trek on.

*I'm sorry.

“May they be scalded at the post,
Drape from the limbs upon our pine,
Inscribe into their stripped bare skin
They are the weak, the faulty, of sin."

I could compose a ballad of time,
Profound, compelling reason and rhyme,
Impeccable stanzas,
Phrasing flowing as a river—

As could all of us,
But what impact would succeed?
To pirouette in the aching of others,
Leer in their ******, their night

I’m a dashing *******!
Bound from birth to do nothing but receive
While others around me
Shall pale, wither, die

Never for any other
Have I so much as cried...

Is it just I who muses late?
Into the veil of the night?
The laconicism is crisp of darkness
Black and cold, menace foretold?

Am I the only one
In the whole of humanity?
Who cannot cease to wonder of
The thoughts of worthlessness

That my every trivial thought
Is a waste of lives that fought
To come into the world
To breathe and dance and rot,

In the deathly tempo of time
Reminder of lives gone by
In philosophical demise
My trouble helps not anything...

Still I lie here, heaving through,
I cannot finish this song for you.
That would be misleading, to falsify
That my life showed an inkling of purpose—

*Of anymore than just a cry.

I never look back on my art. Reminds me of my failures.