Misled by my own malignant
bones I could not control my emotions turned the tide into bloodmoons followed the path of shadows roaming the road to nowhere then after seventy second chances I look at you thinking I've finaly found myself in living purgatory

Your caesious eyes
have more
adventure
than your soul
could ever learn to
occupy.

When did you trade
happy days
for

haphazard

smiles?

From my throne, I gaze at her
In our busy kingdom, I only look for her;

From my throne, I listen to her songs
It sounds likes the choir singing;

From my throne, I read her poetry
Her words paint pictures that no artist could paint;

From my throne, I see her weep
It feels as if my first born son has died;

From my throne, I love her
Even though, I am afar up in my palace;

From my throne, I feel as if she is my wife
Even though, we are not wed locked in holy matrimony;

From my throne, I cast many stones
Even though, her house is made of glass;

From my throne, I fall
Even though, I have wronged I hope she catches me.

all we are is dust in the wind
the sin to take your mind for a spin
the evil that lurks from within
asking you to please try again
maybe this time itll bring you kin.

I held the Stanley knife to
                          my wrist..

Holding on to the grip,
              trying to warm the

cold metal...


I was there for the whole of my
                                                 life..

But the blade was never within it..


I just needed to know that
                    I was strong
                            enough to not make the

mistake of giving in.


And this was a reminder,
                as the first time the metal was cold..

And the blood warm.


                   Now I  remind myself that
even though I hold a blunt instrument
                          its a reminder that given time
everything cuts...

Woke up drained wishing that I was dead,
this life has meaning but only in my head,
I give her every part of me, and she asks me to repeat what I just said.

Now how does she not know
which direction my mind will go?
Her veins and my blood flow,
and a pair of hands to row.

It’s taken a toll and far too many years,
back and forth shuffling blame and our fears,
she lets me think I drive, but we both know she steers.

Now how can I stay strong?
Always repeating that one song.
She’s right until she’s wrong,
but I’m not where I belong.

I accepted a truth and made a lie stick,
covered and layered it over so outrageously thick,
she keeps me alive, but I’ve always been sick.

Now how can she not see
just how vital she is to me?
Giving priceless stock out for free,
but I’m never where I should be.

Woke up drained wishing that I was dead,
my heart breaks as often as she breaks bread.
I give her every part of me, and she asks me to repeat what I just said.

Is it forever you carry that small knot
Right beside your heart
For someone you miss.
And whilst they are there,
A void,
A cage,
The strongest iron chain
Prevents you reaching out
Through the pride you clasp to your chest.
Or the resentment that lingers.
Or just the sheer foolishness you regret,
As those words so easily,
So bitterly,
Slipped from your lips.
And now the path you both tread has become a void.
And regrets so cavernous cut deep into your heart.
But you know no way forward.