The freedom you want to feel is in a pair of dull kitchen scissors.
Cut the dead ends, or  maybe a few inches to prove a point.
Sweep the evidence under the rug, it’s only 4 am this time.
It’s okay, it was just one more thing for you to hide behind.

Bleach it out of your way, paint with colors that will stain your bathroom sink.
Like everything, the stain will fade for a new one to reappear.
Wash it out and stop crying for a minute because the mirror doesn’t lie today.

Everything is fine now.
And that’s the beauty of the most painless thing to change.
Your hair.

You asked me for a place at my table.
You asked me for the welcome spoons even when all I had were dull knives and plastic forks.
You brought your own place mat and gave me your homemade invitation that listed reasons why you deserve to be at this dinner party I never wanted to have.

But as soon as I pulled the chair out for you, you were no longer hungry.
And you left my dining room.

What am I searching for,
A lovelife with a love that doesn´t even exist,
I´ve been looking everywhere,
What is it that people will always hold back,
Am I the only one that wants that special connection,
That one of a kind satisfaction,
Someone to hold, to lean on,
to share with, cry with, strive with and grow with,
Where´s that selfless love,
People seem so shallow,
And I can´t get on with it anymore,
When u are someone with so much love to give,
U are afraid to choose the wrong person,
But when you´re sure,
you´ll stick till the end, and grow pure gold.

It´s such a shame
that u were interested in the first place
I´ts such a shame that u gave me these signals
I´ts such a shame that u saw me the first time
It´s such a shame that u gave me your number
I´ts such a shame that it was all for nothing
Such a shame that u never texted me,
Such a shame that it never had a meaning,
Now I´m left with insecurity and a hopeless mind.

Like the flower that sprouts in April
And buds in early May
To rise up to the golden sun
And bloom on a bright June day
I rose up to your golden light
in search for something more
yet all I found was nothing, even down to your core
Your empty promises wilted me
Like a flame to a burning match
Still I grapsed on for the life of me
when you hardly stayed attached
So as fall came around the corner
my leaves had blown estray
even as a small seed I still waited
to see if you'd be back the next day
but soon enough it got colder
and clouds blocked your radiant light
so as I fell dormant, in powdered snow
I watched you trail out of sight.
As March soon came into view, the ice melted into rain
the soil blessed me with new roots
My petals felt new, though they were the same
Letting go brought pain in the moment
and there's no way of knowing when,
You too will have your spring
and you too will start again.

For years he caught a fish
For his hymn
It was a game and thrill
From the ridge
And outskirts
He parked his car
Hiking thru the forest
Often whistling a tune
Surely enjoying the views
And the company
While singing Oh My Darling
Clemetine
To his goad
A wide open lake
His only refuge
Fishing brought him comfort
Like *** does
As often as a blue moon
When he caught one
Some say for effect
The fish would wiggle
His whistles pitching
Pitching
From the mound
To the batter's box
Sometimes high
More often low and bought
And to his demise the big ones
End up escaping
Why he would ask
A snap of fate, they say
Twice a month
Which was a good month
He tested the waters
He would dip his toe in
His manhood at bat
Always relishing
The aesthetics
From the outskirts
To the ridge
The walk thru the forest
Thru and thru
Back in forth
It never got old
Even for his whizzing heart
Stranger as it seems
A stranger in the dark
The years
The decades
The lost opportunities
Decending
To the whispers
And knowing sneers
From his peers
Life had fewer cast for him
And fewer blue moons
Where he is now resigned
To his hands of fate

Logan Robertson

1/04/2020

Sitting in bony wood
A seat to watch the prickly world stand still
Poised.
Reservations in iron clashing
Gong waves that drown

I can sit here silently
Smooth and clear as the varnish beneath me
This room has white walls
With ***** streaks like vapour trails
Across it, instead of human faces
In little square coffins
Nicely decorated, by, shaking, hands.

Questions don't need answers, I reckon
If my silence gives grey thoughts their place
Neat little rubix cubes make
Cult parodies
Of me, ironically bad.
Hee hee.

What a curious question
Whether instinct wants what is useful
And to trust it
Or shut up and simper
With the strength of women long jobless by
Liberty

In all things
Agency's just a mask
Worn by actors whose plays
Use up the muscles

My words can be recycled before me
Repurposed, simplified to fit new slots
Hard, to be a useless orifice
That wins nothing scarlet when it is ******.

i am sure you are tense
i can feel it
should i say
you have my heart
that is why i know
what you are feeling
i just wish
your heart is with mine
coz i could assume
but never consume
this feelings
this being
we were once in those state
why can't it go back this late
hey mate
can you be my playmate
is this a date
let's call it
a night

xoxo

The people who can’t fall asleep to silence
are the people to be the most worried about
The people who are terrified
to be alone
with their own thoughts
with the voices
Where darkness knows no bounds
there’s a reason it can’t be measured
They don’t make bedtime stories or lullabies
for people like us
The monsters under our beds never go away
they just get scarier with age
Because we chase our nightmares
the way others chase dreams
Strangled by our own memories
I’m looking for gray
in patches of black and white
Blood still drips from those sunflowers
painted on my wall
when I dare to close my eyes
because I’m still the broken girl I always was
counting sheep in my ripped nightgown
torn like my innocence
Clutching onto my teddy bear
lost like my soul
Hush little baby
don’t say a word
You wouldn’t want to hurt anyone’s ears
with your pain
There’s nothing to distract you from you
At least we can behave like stars for awhile
For we never shut our eyes
until the sun is in the sky

- Insomnia

I dream in
lace & pearls
blue roses & ballet slippers
Poe & Plath
Because to properly drink a martini
you need a steady hand
and a broken mind
Don’t you know
There are certain shades of limelight
that can wreck a girl’s complexion
Certain scents
that can’t mask the desperation to held
Certain make up
that only highlights the you
you’ve tried to leave behind
Keep playing dress up little girl
everybody knows the truth
They know you’re hurt
They know you’re hungry
Eat your heart out if you’re starving for love
Keep sailing the open ocean
Keep telling yourself that you’ve changed
You’re terrified to look up to the sky
because you know the constellations
will keep calling you home
to the real you

- Dress Up