I have a killswitch in me
You could call it a failsafe
It happens when you look at me
And tell me that you feel safe
Quickest way to make a coward run
Just tell em that you're counting on em
Everything about love frightens me
Bubbling up the sickening flight in me
Tunnel vision always looking towards the end
Believing even one false move could break me so I don’t even bend
One foot out the door but still pretending I might stay
Set up the pieces I claim the winnings before you even start to play
Roll the dice thinking gotcha now I’ll hide the aces up my sleeve
I lift my tongue and tip my hat make it so **** easy to believe
Knew love was just an innocent still I tossed it to its jail
Locked up my feelings for the life of me I won’t ever post the bail
You think I’m what you want see me glitter think I’m gold
Spray paint my lies with pretty colors fake my warmth to hide what’s cold

i've been running from the truth
running up an empty staircase
yet somehow i keep spiraling down

i've been searching for love
for a droplet of whatever is left
a symbol of hope to answer my prayers

if i reach the top of these stairs
having finally escaped truth's poena
will you be there waiting for me?

or will it be deja vu, another infinite loop
of my heart drowning in deep waters
as you stand there, watching with a smile

my heart hesitates but my steps are steady
i run from no truth, i already know the truth
things are meant to fall apart

and every time, it is the same
and every time, i am always powerless
just a mere bystander to my own downfall

I didn’t plan it
Still a thought emerged
The seas opened
And the skies roared
The ship rocked
And an island emerged
An invite was extended
Making acceptance more tempting
Wonder if you would be mad
Confused, angry or sad
Impulsive it may be
But chronic it always was
Sometimes it’s probably easier to give in
A painless route, an undemanding path
Just need to turn the steering wheel fast  
Yet, I want a link to you
You are my invisible life vest
My anchor when the sea is violent
However, I fear that one day I’ll break free
I dread one day I’ll leave you behind and
I guess that’s what’s makes it interesting.
I'm anxious of my will to escape
My temptation to run far far away
I guess I'll just hold on tight for now
And pray for a silver lining to make its way somehow

A downpour doesn't feel like rain,
Unless it make you run,
To relive that redolent fun,
Of racing against the next drop,
But still wishing it to not stop.

Left foot, right foot
back and forth
Faster, faster please
these issues might
CATCH UP

You can’t do this
voices whisper firmly
Stop, stop please
you can’t keep
DOING THIS

Your shoes soles
forever wearing thin
Quit, quit now
quit running scared
AND AFRAID

Be brave , face it
REALIZE it’s not
your fault
However it’s now
YOUR CHOICE

My life feels like an empty coffee cup

The buzz has past and only the specs

That will be washed away remain

My eyes stare vacantly as I turn

Page on, page on, page




My mind wandering away from the dictionary definition of the words on the page

Searching for an answer

Some motivation, a surge of energy

Just one urge to move




My sheets are not just where I sleep

They are where I suffer

A place where dreams come true

But nightmares too









Are people running to go someplace?