It's like I'm shoveling up old hurt
All these medications, they won't work
Sitting in silence, trying to soul search
It seems to be all over, looking for some closure
Don't you wanna give the explanation I deserve?
You moved on like nothing, seems to be doing fine
But I'm stuck in time like I never recovered
How's it even justice? when you hardly suffered
My life is garbage, cursing you to have worse
Ripping up your bandages, in pain you immerse
Yes, I'm being a bad guy, justifying the hell you deserve
Guess, this is my way of moving on, hitting a growth spurt

Even though you are dead to me
Still, you are the last face I wanna see
Pushing on the death pedal, riding to hell
In the hope of meeting there, when you sleep
Because hell is where you deserve to be
I was no good and you are no better
Hell or heaven, does it even matter?
All I want is to be together
Even if I have to suffer

You only care
when I lie, bare
on your bed
my legs spread
you shout, honey
I’ll make you happy
but we both know
all you want is a blow
until then you’ll pretend
that you care until the end

I penetrate, when my pen iterate
As I paint it red, killing thoughts of you
Pages out of space, such a weird case
As this paper trace, every pain it read 
Even though I hate, it's an essence of you

I am not myself
when the moon sits in my head.
My dreams are lost on a shelf
while I am chained to my bed.

I didn't know I was sinking
when I swam to shore.
But I coughed up what I had been thinking,
and was surprised by all the gore.

I cleaned what I could
and moved to my other side.
I found another creature that stood
where I had once died.

There was lightning in their eyes.
An aura of scarlet shown through.
They spit out hateful lies
to twist my world view.

Another battle shall commence,
One that will haunt me for life.
I give my friends my recompense
for the constant sharpening of my knife.

I have been a brave soldier
for longer than I can remember.
I am done seeking the closure
that steeps my mind in burning ember.

there's so many things i wonder about
but you're the greatest wonder of them all

yea, i'm talking to you
sitting in there, blue halo
feathers weighing me down
why do you weigh me down?
(𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚖𝚎, 𝚘𝚛 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚕?)

no, i'm not talking to you
there's so many things i wonder about
but you're the greatest wonder of them all
catch me, night, i fell like a sociopath
catch me, light, i can't stop believing love
so it sets in rust
and rises to emptiness

yea, i'm talking to you
sitting in there, stained-glass poet
edge of a blade, crying notes
why why why why why; don't you know?
(𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚖𝚎, 𝚘𝚛 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚕?)

some days i feel like a sociopath
(𝚜𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚎, 𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝)
but i can't stop believing love
(𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚖𝚎, 𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝)
there's so many things i wonder about
(𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚏𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝)
but you're the greatest wonder of them all
(𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚒𝚝 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝.)

it sparkles in their eyes
in yours, in mine
marble and gold
flickering in the sky

a trail of tar, a halo of paper
let's take our train to heaven.
see you there, see you never
meet my friends, i've got seven
but she's the prettiest
with diamonds in her teeth
red wine in her kiss
she's my podium, my glory
she's the reason i stand.

now they eye the art
through me, eying her
i'm made of air but i like them
telling me all i've been
matters (my podium.)
'cause she's the prettiest
with promises in her shadow, with fire in her hair
she'd turn and launch a thousand ships, oh paris:
least lonely of men.
oh, roaches, she's my wonderland.

it sparkles in their eyes
in yours, in mine
a shape like the sun.
a trail of tar, a halo of paper
hold on fast my ticket to heaven
when saint are dust, gold is forever
so kiss me to the grave, loveliest of seven.

"money is the anthem / of success"
"money is the reason / we exist"
oh, lana / oh, paris.

i have loved her in many ways
i would not call her
a lover; i am fearful
for i am young; she will have decades.

two am, friday night
wide awake by the sterile light
i pen for a tale these final lines
there’s too much left, stuck inside

across our river, beyond the mist
i watch your shadows fleet
angel feathers through the gale
i hear those whispers cease

so i’ll raise a glass, well, make it two
to the story that told of me and you
A third, a forth, 'fore we hit the floors
‘fore again i hear that voice of yours

too young to regret
too old to forget
let's ponder, shall we, as we bet
for the simplest magnet, yes, it holds two ends

when dust descends, when thoughts depart
will you be there, cries my heart
a teardrop falls, upon your splendor
glimmer in marble, ever so tender

the haze drifts away, away with you
batteries out, screen’s brand new
i raise my gaze, 'till it meets a light
my halo, my blue light.