You weren’t worth the
Hundred dollars it cost to
Keep you in my car. 
Princess got poached by the
League of Losers with Pedestrian Ideals.

I’d spit venom in your direction, if 
Poison meant anything to you. But
Akin to most things, so sub-human,
You miss the world moving around your
Ever pulsating veins, and repel these
Toxins with a slip of the tongue.

Around you I could line
Bodies of those you’d loved and left.
Each clasping hands with one another,
Privy to a specific type of pain, only you can
Deal out. And

In the center of the circle you’d
Stare, stunned by your state of
Affairs, and flings. Collectively concerned
For the safety of your
Rotting consciousness.

One by one, I could set these men
On fire, and hand you a place 
Where your head could be danced off.
Drunken and diving heart-first into
The burning lake of a 
Surfable crowd. Since that’s
All we are, serfs.

I hope the fire gets too close to your
Gorgeous face. I hope the
Love you receive is no more likable
Than a few more licks from the flames.
The scars couldn’t sideline you.
No one can stop ****.

You looked at me with sadness the kind I've seen before .

it all look so familiar to me but I was never one to be sure .

I second guessed every move I made , I was never satisfied .

Your body moved a certain way , you made our vines intertwine.

I will never forget you , that's a know fact.

I'm just sorry I misjudged our balancing act.

You see I was in it for the comfort and the security of another , I was in it for the body and the heat it radiated into mine .

You asked me why It was always cold in my house , a question you must have worded a hundered different was to make sure I wouldn't lie.

I simply looked into his eyes and said " I do it to feel, you see inside of me is this deep black hole he once used to cover , he was buried so deep in my heart , my body was half his , now I'm left to do to another what he did to me "

With your eyes full of tears ready to spill at any moment , I made sure to mutter to you "I never said forever "

I never said forever because what is time other than a way to navigate your day , if I promised you something I couldn't fulfil i would never be able to stay.

I told you not to get attached it was nothing more than company , I looked and you a realised you looked like me when he stood in front of me .

I could see the way your heart was breaking from the simple things I said , the truth is something that you wanted but you never knew it was this .

You see this bed was never made for two I always stayed in his.

So with your eyes flowing the tears of heartbreak and nothing less I'm sure , ill turn and walk away.

And whisper into the air and say " don't forget to close the door on your way" .

The past can make it so easy to relapse

not because of the past itself

but

running away from it

and burying it in the subconscious,

hiding it away and letting it silently

fest fest fest.

Is what causes you to be haunted.

---

Pain;

A raging sore, a deep wound, an eternal scar,

just wants to be felt; acknowledged.

So I try not, to ignore it

when I see the marks of the past; knives

digging into the valves of my heart; pain

even when it comes back

strong and hard and fighting

like a hurricane

carrying me away under water

suffocating the freedom in my punctured lungs

I will not let it destroy me.

—-

Its not because I am weak that I struggle with it

but the brain is strong; be aware...

For thoughts can make you a victim of your own mind

though I hope
there will be a time when

healing, that miraculous God-sent healing is at the end.

When

you stop ignoring the past

and instead start loving those broken pieces, the shame you felt,

the fear that crippled

and realise

it will soon ease, soon melt away, soon diminish

and you’ll remember

**pain has no authority to hurt

**** me, ***** beasts!
Ravage my mountains
And drain them
—a million mosquitoes on my skin;

Burn me, wooden hearts!
Watch me as I am consumed
By toxic fire
—a million ashes in my eyes;

Choke me, my children!
Rob me of the air of my lungs
With your stranglehold
—a million claws on my neck;

And when you are done
And tired from your *******
I shall cover you in the darkness of your making
And you—
Like a forgotten dream
—shall perish.